FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Abundance of messages
Abundance of messages
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So here's one for the ladies and couples, seeing as you get the most amount of messages, when you log on and have loads of messages, how many do you actually look at?
As man I have sent messages to females and couples and its been on the unread list for days, I just want to know when I can give up and delete it?
Any help? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't get that many to be honest.
I will read them and if they are of interest I will reply. If not I delete "
Seriously? Your gorgeous, mustn't be alot of people in Norfolk |
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By *ixxxWoman
over a year ago
Manchester |
There's not a fixed number that I read, but I guess I read about 60-80%. The rest get deleted without opening (no profile pic, or an tag line/start that is so not what I'm after that I know it's a waste of my time). Of the ones I open, I guess I reply to about half.
I'm curious why you delete the unread ones?
+ remember, I don't think you can assume most people login here every day - it may just be that they haven't seen it yet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One of us will usually look on the same day, 3 days maximum. We always read the profile and the message. If one of us decide it is a no then we block and delete. If we both agree that it looks okay then we consider broadening the chat to see what happens. |
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We have to log on daily and clear them down. Most we read and don't reply to. Our profile says clearly we're only looking to meet if we have a status or meet up. If they offer at other times, it's wasting their time, and ours. We've had 8 offers today to meet.
We reply to 99% of those who message when we have a meet up. If they just message "Hi", then we ignore. If they put that much effort in, we're not meeting them.
Currently have 28 unreads thou. |
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It depends
I usually instantly delete any from sillohette profiles or couples as that's not what I'm looking for, I'll also delete any 'hi how are you?' type messages
Then I look at a profile before looking at the message, have a look at their bios, photos & interests etc if they look like a good match to me then I'll take a look at the message
So it's not a numbers game, or how many messages I've got, it literally is, are they what I'm looking for, if the answers yes I'll reply if it's a no I won't |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I look at the profile before the message and if it doesn’t appeal to me ie: no pics or no bio or a ‘hi what you doin’ then I just delete without opening  |
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We always check the profile out first before opening the msg, if the profile is poor then we tend not to even open it and delete. if there is no pics or even no profile pic we delete.so Needless to say if the profile is decent and matches us then we read it...but most of the time I think some lads see your pics and just jump straight to your inbox and don't bother reading our profile.. they get deleted to. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There's not a fixed number that I read, but I guess I read about 60-80%. The rest get deleted without opening (no profile pic, or an tag line/start that is so not what I'm after that I know it's a waste of my time). Of the ones I open, I guess I reply to about half.
I'm curious why you delete the unread ones?
+ remember, I don't think you can assume most people login here every day - it may just be that they haven't seen it yet"
I think its more i see most of these messages get deleted around 5 to 7 days after not being read and then a status update of "sorry had to mass delete" so i usually delete them first. Plus most of the time I find I get more responses from women who are online at the time when I send a message rather than the ones that see the message a couple of days after |
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"There's not a fixed number that I read, but I guess I read about 60-80%. The rest get deleted without opening (no profile pic, or an tag line/start that is so not what I'm after that I know it's a waste of my time). Of the ones I open, I guess I reply to about half.
I'm curious why you delete the unread ones?
+ remember, I don't think you can assume most people login here every day - it may just be that they haven't seen it yet
I think its more i see most of these messages get deleted around 5 to 7 days after not being read and then a status update of "sorry had to mass delete" so i usually delete them first. Plus most of the time I find I get more responses from women who are online at the time when I send a message rather than the ones that see the message a couple of days after"
Getting a message while I'm online is another instant block for me as it feels intrusive, like I can't come online without being messaged (it's why I hide my profile if I intend to spend some time in the forums)
I'll often show as being online as I like the forums but I won't have necessarily checked my inbox for a few reasons
1) if I'm short on time & I'd rather spend that in the forums that I enjoy, than filtering messages
2) if sometimes I'll quickly read a message but then mark as unread so I can respond later
3) I don't like getting involved in drawn out chats, I usually meet quite quickly, so I won't respond until I know I can meet
Ultimately there's no right or wrong answer as every woman or couple will handle their inbox differently, there's no magic formula for getting your messages read |
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A lot are deleted without reading. I always check the profile first. If no pics and a poor profile that tells me nothing I delete.
If I read the message and it's obvious they have not bothered to read my profile I delete. This gets rid of most of them. |
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I've been on Fab about 4 years with short breaks and change of accounts.
I've tried every trick in the book to get my messages, at a minimum read, at best replied to. There is no formula.
Don't forget, as a single man the competition is very high, as a single man, almost 75, I could earn a good income for a £1 for every message I have sent.
Then there are all the women that are just her to ogle at men's cocks and never reply. And all the women that do reply with just a Hi that don't reply even though you responded within seconds and promptly block you.
At first it used to upset me and couldn't understand why I got so many rejections. Now, it's like water off a ducks back.
Keep at it. There is a possible partner for you out there. Chances are they will be over 100 miles away.  LOL |
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We don't tend to get ones from single males as we politely mention that we aren't looking for them (ladies too to be fair) of the ones we get we tend to reply to them all if they are what we are looking for. If they have been polite then we reply with a thanks but no thanks if what we see on their profile isn't for us. |
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Well mine keep building because no matter how many people I try to reply to it just goes up and up when I’m online. I’m currently on 974 unread messages and I’ve replied to loads…. There is no way I can reply to all them. But of course I will get abuse when I bulk Delete |
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By *an1978Woman
over a year ago
GONE/TIMEOUT (No DMs please) |
I'm not sure why you're not getting replies, your profile is good fair play, shows you are a rounded person, and you have face photos.
Are you personalising your messages? Or copy and paste?
I made my profile and unwelcoming as possible (Not meeting etc) but most don't read it and message anyway.
Just had one two minutes ago from someone nearby, no hello, just "what's your favourite position?"
Currently on 59 unread.
I'm my mostly in the forums.
When I go into my inbox I open messages from friends first, then maybe a few new ones if I have time. |
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I don't do quick messaging and they can stack up. Men typically think my response time equals low or no interest in them but it's more so that I take things at my pace, just doing inbox stuff as I fancy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well mine keep building because no matter how many people I try to reply to it just goes up and up when I’m online. I’m currently on 974 unread messages and I’ve replied to loads…. There is no way I can reply to all them. But of course I will get abuse when I bulk Delete"
I turn off new messages while I clear my inbox. I was sitting about 140 so blocked new messages from everyone.. Now down to 42 unread but some of these are from ongoing conversations.
I delete any messages from a silhouette, then I delete the ones that are just something about seeing me in chat (they can just as easily chat to me when I'm in there so I don't understand the messages saying that) or gross vulgar shit.
I like to take my time to construct a response, so I will mark a message as unread if I had a quick look and want to reply when I have more time. My first time on fab they kept building cause I didn't turn them off and it made me feel totally overwhelmed and probably why I left  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I meant to say OP, I'd reply to you. Good profile and pics but I might have you sitting unread for a few days but only for the above point re taking time to reply.
Don't take that as a given they are not interested. |
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"Well mine keep building because no matter how many people I try to reply to it just goes up and up when I’m online. I’m currently on 974 unread messages and I’ve replied to loads…. There is no way I can reply to all them. But of course I will get abuse when I bulk Delete
I turn off new messages while I clear my inbox. I was sitting about 140 so blocked new messages from everyone.. Now down to 42 unread but some of these are from ongoing conversations.
I delete any messages from a silhouette, then I delete the ones that are just something about seeing me in chat (they can just as easily chat to me when I'm in there so I don't understand the messages saying that) or gross vulgar shit.
I like to take my time to construct a response, so I will mark a message as unread if I had a quick look and want to reply when I have more time. My first time on fab they kept building cause I didn't turn them off and it made me feel totally overwhelmed and probably why I left "
Duh I’ve been here 3 years why did I not think of that . The thing is some of the decent ones do get slipped under the net because I’m wasting my time saying “no thank you, you are to far away” over and over again and usually to the same one. A distance filter would definitely help. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We read most. Some messages you can read without opening if it’s just one line and they usually get deleted.
We reply to everyone that’s made a bit of effort and actually read our profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We used to get loads of messages. We blocked single guys and the number really dropped. And since we changed our profile to club meets only we get no messages at all. |
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By *moretwoCouple
over a year ago
Feltham |
We do the same...
"We always check the profile out first before opening the msg, if the profile is poor then we tend not to even open it and delete. if there is no pics or even no profile pic we delete.so Needless to say if the profile is decent and matches us then we read it...but most of the time I think some lads see your pics and just jump straight to your inbox and don't bother reading our profile.. they get deleted to. "
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"Couples profiles aren't as inundated with messages as you'd think from our experience. Well, not those who block single males at least."
we dont seek single guys so we are not over run with text's, now and again we still get them from single guys after we have posted in the forum, we still read and respond as they are generally nice polite and well written |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I often wonder if threads on this topic encourage the creation of bogus couples profiles in order to guarantee a stream of incoming messages to lovelorn/sex starved single males."
That's one reason men create fake profiles. Can't blame them really. |
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By *ewfie02Couple
over a year ago
Ayrshire |
We look at every profile before reading messages. It's 'normal' for most profiles to be very sparse with their bio...we've come to expect it actually, so it's a nice change when someone takes the time to tell about themselves. We try to answer every message....whether that's a no thank you or on to more chat. The ones we tend to ignore are the ones that only say hi or are you up for a meet right now. Sometimes they just get a message saying that they need to read our profile. We only block those that become a nuisance of themselves. |
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Why do folk think that females & couples get tons of messages?
From a single female to now a couple never found this to be fair but then again we don't post daily pictures and not online all tye time
Like others have said the increase of fake profiles is unbelievable! Some lonely, horny folk out there! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So here's one for the ladies and couples, seeing as you get the most amount of messages, when you log on and have loads of messages, how many do you actually look at?
As man I have sent messages to females and couples and its been on the unread list for days, I just want to know when I can give up and delete it?
Any help?"
Place your focus, or hopes in your inbox, ignore your outbox.
Sometimes, after reading a message that caught my eye, I'll mark it as unread ready for Mrs to read it when she has chance, or for us to read it together.
It may take a few days until we have chance to give it full attention together.
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I don't get many messages I keep my filters really right because I don't want many. I look at their profile before I even open a message.And depending on their profile and what the message says that will decide if I reply or not.
In saying that I reply to most. Even if it's to say no thanks . |
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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago
Shangri-la |
I don't get inundated with messages thankfully, I tend to keep my filters quite tight which helps.
I usually check a profile before I decide whether to open a message, if there's nothing appealing about the profile I'm unlikely to even open it, let alone send a reply.
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"So here's one for the ladies and couples, seeing as you get the most amount of messages, when you log on and have loads of messages, how many do you actually look at?
As man I have sent messages to females and couples and its been on the unread list for days, I just want to know when I can give up and delete it?
Any help?"
Why is there a time limit. You either get a response or not. Giving up on whether to delete the message or not is irrelevant as you can delete it but they could still message you......please tell me this post is a thinly veiled attempt to get responses during a brief drought and that youve already sent a few PM's otherwise alternative is your query is genuine |
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"It depends
I usually instantly delete any from sillohette profiles or couples as that's not what I'm looking for, I'll also delete any 'hi how are you?' type messages
Then I look at a profile before looking at the message, have a look at their bios, photos & interests etc if they look like a good match to me then I'll take a look at the message
So it's not a numbers game, or how many messages I've got, it literally is, are they what I'm looking for, if the answers yes I'll reply if it's a no I won't "
Exactly this |
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I get literally 100+ messages a day and as I have a very busy life I can’t always get on regularly enough to clear down or respond immediately. Patience is a virtue and something I most certainly appreciate. I will always respond to respectful messages. |
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"please tell me this post is a thinly veiled attempt to get responses during a brief drought and that youve already sent a few PM's otherwise alternative is your query is genuine "
The OP isn't like that. |
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