FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Timewasters (yes you have probably heard it all before)
Timewasters (yes you have probably heard it all before)
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Hello to all on the forum. I havent been on the site for a long time but so far things have been good, seeiming to go well.
However... I have arranged 2 meetings now and what happened, nothing. Even though I turned up at the house twice both times.
The first one, arrived at the time. no answer. so I went and did a few things around the town I needed to do and called back about an hour later. Stil no answer. When I got home, messaged those concerned and nothing. 2 days later their profile vanished so I can't really say anything more about that.
Second case. Yesterday arranged a meet and was a little late getting to the house. Got an answer and the male half of the couple was not there. Ok, no worries these things happen. Rearranged for today. Got there at exactly the time I should and.... no answer. Why?
If people are unsure just say so. The thing that cracks me up is this, quote from their profile..
"ps if you get an invite and dont turn up thats the only chance you get we wont except excuses"
"and hes quick to read people and he dont suffer timewasters"
I didn't waste anyones time so why do they think they can waste mine. My situation leaves me with no more time than anyone else has and is precious to me.
I'm sorry but I just don't understand this. And of course now they have blocked me so I cannot ask them why, is that fair? If you cannot ask them why you cannot do anything. They have been reported to admin anyway and I suppose that is that.
Ok. just had to get that off my chest. Feel better now  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds like a bit of a learning curve. Some good rules to avoid the fake profiles are:
Always speak to or cam with both so you know it's a male AND female if it's a couple or a woman.
Check that if they are verified, those verifying them look real as there are ways of getting round being a fake profile whilst still being verified genuine.
Maybe try for a social meet first, though fakes would enjoy standing you up for that as much as a play meet
Report to admin anyone you think is fake, they may not be able to take action with your report alone but if a few folk report them they may
We have almost all been caught out so don't let it put you off, good luck x |
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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago
sheffield |
Sorry for what happened to you. Don't worry someone will make your effort worth it
Yes they may have some reason for not being able to make it. But at least they should let you know
The best option sound like club. Nobody will waste your time there. And if you are lucky and respectful you will get plenty of fun |
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yes we have heard it all before but that doesn't mean its not a pain in the a**e for you and twice in a row is sheer bad luck.
If it helps at all we've had our fair share of time wasters too although we normally realise before we actually get to the meeting place.
Hope yoour next meet is really great to make up for it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sounds like a bit of a learning curve. Some good rules to avoid the fake profiles are:
Always speak to or cam with both so you know it's a male AND female if it's a couple or a woman.
Check that if they are verified, those verifying them look real as there are ways of getting round being a fake profile whilst still being verified genuine.
Maybe try for a social meet first, though fakes would enjoy standing you up for that as much as a play meet
Report to admin anyone you think is fake, they may not be able to take action with your report alone but if a few folk report them they may
We have almost all been caught out so don't let it put you off, good luck x"
Agree with the above, but there is a cold hard fact you need to keep in mind - you have been on here 2 weeks and, in that time, you have managed to arrange 2 'meets'. Okay, it's a pain in the bum that they came to nothing, but there are guys on here who keep trying for over a year before ever getting a meet!
Like the above poster said - the learning curve is very steep on here (or any swinging contact site), so if you really want to learn where you went wrong, post a fairly detailed precis of the lead up to the meets and the forum regulars will dissect it for you - some of them might even be nice about it too!! Don't worry - it gets better....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hit the report button!
There is an option for "arranged meet did not turn up" then add precise details at the bottom.
Not sure exactly what admin do about it but I'm hoping if the same profile gets a few report hits they delete the profile.
I never used to bother reporting but I just got so fed up with it I always do now!  |
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Thanks for the support and advice. Yes I know I have been lucky to make two arrangements in a short time. But how is it lucky if both were timewasters.
The things I don't understand most is that I would have been happy for a social meet first, no pressure. I could have met somewhere at a neutral place. Both parties arranged and asked for me to meet at their homes though, their choice.
If I got through the door and they said sorry it's not for me, changed my mind, not my type no problem. I am big enough and ugly enough to take things on the chin. That said they have seen my pics, read my profile and thought to say yes I am interested.
Hey ho. Such is life. And to all those who are having fun out there, keep enjoying it life moves on regardless.
Thanks again to all.
p.s. have reported the offenders what happens next, who knows. |
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By *eeriseWoman
over a year ago
Manchester and that's all you need to know |
Perhaps they did see you but found it easier to pretend they were out ect.
Why not try a social meet first at a neutral place so you can see if there's any mutual attraction, sometimes people are different face to face than online
Good luck. |
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so on the 2nd meet you got there by the sounds the female half answered and said her hubby wernt there ,so what she did she say about the meet and him not being there ,did she not even say sorry ?? |
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It gets better with time - it's no main help right now, to hear this though.
Your instincts will get keener, you will perhaps not be too eager, and you'll also ensure that you build in some rules that you'll follow. I think it's important to always speak on the phone before all meets, and especially for rearranged meets - for many people, things crop-up, work, family etc, that means that even with their best will, they will sometimes have to cancel. The onus should be on someone informing the traveler/others that they can't do it, but some emergencies/situations may make this harder to do.
If all communications, almost to the last minute, have been confirmations, then there's no real explanation then, but lack of respect etc.
As others say, I'd only go for verified people, who seem reliable for now, to help you regain your trust. Of course, people do come and go from the site, but those who've been around some time are probably less likely to just vanish off Fab.
Good luck! |
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This is why I meet in a coffee shop that is easy to get to and park at and that will only take half an hour out of my day if I am stood up.
that way I can have a coffee and run some errands and go on with my day.
Some don't like this approach, but if you arrange to meet in a pub/cafe near their house and they don't turn up, finish your drink and go away. No standing on doorsteps knocking with no reply, no concern that they've given you someone elses address and you get shouted at. You can even go online and report them for standing you up, using your phone before you leave! |
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The couple concerned were verified and have been on the site a good while. In response to the saying sorry thing when the lady half of the couple answered the door. No. As I said earlier it was their choice to meet at their own home, they were the keen ones who wanted me to go there instead of a social meet first.
I guess all of this is no strange thing to a lot of people on here and I have met people before, but not from this site.
The moral of the story is, be honest people. If you have any doubts then just say no but thanks for the interest.
Fun and safe swinging to all that enjoy the site. |
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By *laphe1Man
over a year ago
Huddersfield |
"Perhaps they did see you but found it easier to pretend they were out ect.
Why not try a social meet first at a neutral place so you can see if there's any mutual attraction, sometimes people are different face to face than online
partners or cupids is a good place to start
Good luck."
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"The couple concerned were verified and have been on the site a good while. In response to the saying sorry thing when the lady half of the couple answered the door. No. As I said earlier it was their choice to meet at their own home, they were the keen ones who wanted me to go there instead of a social meet first.
I guess all of this is no strange thing to a lot of people on here and I have met people before, but not from this site.
The moral of the story is, be honest people. If you have any doubts then just say no but thanks for the interest.
Fun and safe swinging to all that enjoy the site. "
I have been stood up by people with great veris and had complete newbies turn up and be delightful.
But I think it is wrong to not even say either that you changed your mind or no thanks or even come up with a face saving lie.
I tell people to their faces if I don't want to play and give them the opportunity to talk to me about it. They don't manage to change my mind, but I do feel that it shows far more respect and keeps things on a better footing than waiting till I get home to mail them. Or worse just block them! |
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" In response to the saying sorry thing when the lady half of the couple answered the door. No. "
thing is if was say me male half if sumit came up and say couldnt get back from work and had some one coming i would ring the wife then the meet and inform them to , but to answer the door and say me huby aint here , find that bit funny or even to just go out knowing someone was on there way you just wouldnt leave the other half to deal with it ,might og been a good escape by the sounds kidda  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" In response to the saying sorry thing when the lady half of the couple answered the door. No. thing is if was say me male half if sumit came up and say couldnt get back from work and had some one coming i would ring the wife then the meet and inform them to , but to answer the door and say me huby aint here , find that bit funny or even to just go out knowing someone was on there way you just wouldnt leave the other half to deal with it ,might og been a good escape by the sounds kidda "
Agreed  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've had nothing but timewasters since we've back on the scene. 3 meets arranged, 3 massive let downs. It has put us off, but we're not that keen on a club at the moment, it's something for when we have a few more meets under our belt I think (if it ever happens!) |
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By *A5-1975Man
over a year ago
warrington |
and couples are quick too complain about single guys ! Not all single guys are jerks, and I am sure not all couple are like these two...
"Hello to all on the forum. I havent been on the site for a long time but so far things have been good, seeiming to go well.
However... I have arranged 2 meetings now and what happened, nothing. Even though I turned up at the house twice both times.
The first one, arrived at the time. no answer. so I went and did a few things around the town I needed to do and called back about an hour later. Stil no answer. When I got home, messaged those concerned and nothing. 2 days later their profile vanished so I can't really say anything more about that.
Second case. Yesterday arranged a meet and was a little late getting to the house. Got an answer and the male half of the couple was not there. Ok, no worries these things happen. Rearranged for today. Got there at exactly the time I should and.... no answer. Why?
If people are unsure just say so. The thing that cracks me up is this, quote from their profile..
"ps if you get an invite and dont turn up thats the only chance you get we wont except excuses"
"and hes quick to read people and he dont suffer timewasters"
I didn't waste anyones time so why do they think they can waste mine. My situation leaves me with no more time than anyone else has and is precious to me.
I'm sorry but I just don't understand this. And of course now they have blocked me so I cannot ask them why, is that fair? If you cannot ask them why you cannot do anything. They have been reported to admin anyway and I suppose that is that.
Ok. just had to get that off my chest. Feel better now "
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