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Novice Mistress
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I need some guidance please.
Never had a sub before and started chatting here on Fab with a submissive guy who is currently working abroad.
Can anyone give me any hints or ideas to keep things interesting?
Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Thanks in anticipation!
NWM x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I need some guidance please.
Never had a sub before and started chatting here on Fab with a submissive guy who is currently working abroad.
Can anyone give me any hints or ideas to keep things interesting?
Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Thanks in anticipation!
NWM x"
The sub is the best person to give you hints and ideas.
If you've talked long enough, they would of been discussed ....
Enjoy! |
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A lot depends on what your sub wants to explore. As ultimately, it is up to the submissive to set up hard and soft boundaries.
I used to have online Master-sub relationship when I was discovering the world of BDSM for myself. My Master would give me tasks to do, some to explore my sexuality (like: go down to the kitchen naked and send me a pic- I was in shared acommodation that time; put clothes pegs on your nipples and keep them on until I say so etc) and some to explore my intelligence as he was very taken by it.
So tasks don't have to be sexual. Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have you tried being a key holder and him I'm chastity? I have done that for a couple of men in the past which were long distance but perhaps that won't be an option due to him being abroad. |
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Unable to send you a message.
Long distance D/s requires even more regular communication than a normal one on one relationships.
The obvious areas are setting ground rules, filling in bdsm Check lists, understand boundaries, limits etc.
This woukd be a good base line to start with which can be built on as everything is flexible.
There are Apps that allow you to track progress on tasks. "Obedience" is rather good and free for limited tasks. A good starting point for a novice long distance setting.
Is the relationship purely D/s or does it have sexual elements?
What kind of punishments do you wish to inflict and how can you ensure they are carried out?
Alot to think about?
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"Thanks for replying.
Yeah my sub has given me a few ideas to begin with. Just hoped some more experienced folk could give me a few pointers.
Guess it’s google job then."
As a Mistress what is it you want to get out of this dynamic, or are you content being a fetish dispenser for someone else?
What is your experience at having a sub? Is it bedroom only or some form of lifestyle experience?
Sorry, but googling how to be a Mistress is likely to set you on a wonky path, and could end up dangerous for you both if you think porn is an educator. You can’t really tell someone how to be a Mistress to their sub, it’s usually something you are.
Your best bet would be to find a local munch and reach out to other local people in the scene and see if you can’t learn from them. |
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"Thanks for replying.
Yeah my sub has given me a few ideas to begin with. Just hoped some more experienced folk could give me a few pointers.
Guess it’s google job then.
As a Mistress what is it you want to get out of this dynamic, or are you content being a fetish dispenser for someone else?
What is your experience at having a sub? Is it bedroom only or some form of lifestyle experience?
Sorry, but googling how to be a Mistress is likely to set you on a wonky path, and could end up dangerous for you both if you think porn is an educator. You can’t really tell someone how to be a Mistress to their sub, it’s usually something you are.
Your best bet would be to find a local munch and reach out to other local people in the scene and see if you can’t learn from them."
exactly this  |
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Some suggestions:
Make him peg his nipples/balls
Plugged at work
Edging, no cumming
Cock or balls tied
Dressed/undressed publicly
Make him kneel privately or publicly and show you
Underwear/no underwear at work
|
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"Some suggestions:
Make him peg his nipples/balls
Plugged at work
Edging, no cumming
Cock or balls tied
Dressed/undressed publicly
Make him kneel privately or publicly and show you
Underwear/no underwear at work
"
That’s exactly the ideas I had in mind. Those are very helpful suggestions. Thanks so much, I appreciate the help.  |
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"Thanks for replying.
Yeah my sub has given me a few ideas to begin with. Just hoped some more experienced folk could give me a few pointers.
Guess it’s google job then.
As a Mistress what is it you want to get out of this dynamic, or are you content being a fetish dispenser for someone else?
What is your experience at having a sub? Is it bedroom only or some form of lifestyle experience?
Sorry, but googling how to be a Mistress is likely to set you on a wonky path, and could end up dangerous for you both if you think porn is an educator. You can’t really tell someone how to be a Mistress to their sub, it’s usually something you are.
Your best bet would be to find a local munch and reach out to other local people in the scene and see if you can’t learn from them."
I never mentioned porn. I just wanted a little guidance from people who are more experienced in this sort of thing as we’re both new to it. I’ve managed to find some helpful people online though so I’m good now. Thanks |
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By *astpoetMan
over a year ago
where the world takes me |
as someone who's naturally sub i'd say the thing i look for in a mistress is handing over control.
I want her to decide what i wear, what i play with (and who), and even what i wank to.
If you meet them in person i'd also say that being collared and led is a massive turn on, i'm not one for pain but control and humiliation is definitely my "bag".
The most important bit though is boundaries, because a domme/sub relationship relies on trust.
Oh and finally, what a lucky, lucky guy  |
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"as someone who's naturally sub i'd say the thing i look for in a mistress is handing over control.
I want her to decide what i wear, what i play with (and who), and even what i wank to.
If you meet them in person i'd also say that being collared and led is a massive turn on, i'm not one for pain but control and humiliation is definitely my "bag".
The most important bit though is boundaries, because a domme/sub relationship relies on trust.
Oh and finally, what a lucky, lucky guy "
Thank you
It’s been a few weeks now. We’re definitely finding our feet. I have control of him and it’s such a turn on for us both. |
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To build up trust is definitely the most important thing. Once a sub has that, he will be on the journey and will be almost unable to think of anything else but you. Doesn't matter what you do, you will be totally in his mind.
Lucky Sub ! |
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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago
carrbrook stalybridge |
There is an app we used to use to give lily lines when we were apart if she failed a task .write a senence 1000 times in xxxx time on your computer every tenth word must be misspelt in alphabetical order to stop copy and pasting .she hated it |
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"To build up trust is definitely the most important thing. Once a sub has that, he will be on the journey and will be almost unable to think of anything else but you. Doesn't matter what you do, you will be totally in his mind.
Lucky Sub !"
Thanks  |
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"There is an app we used to use to give lily lines when we were apart if she failed a task .write a senence 1000 times in xxxx time on your computer every tenth word must be misspelt in alphabetical order to stop copy and pasting .she hated it "
Thanks, definitely keep that one in mind |
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By *astpoetMan
over a year ago
where the world takes me |
"as someone who's naturally sub i'd say the thing i look for in a mistress is handing over control.
I want her to decide what i wear, what i play with (and who), and even what i wank to.
If you meet them in person i'd also say that being collared and led is a massive turn on, i'm not one for pain but control and humiliation is definitely my "bag".
The most important bit though is boundaries, because a domme/sub relationship relies on trust.
Oh and finally, what a lucky, lucky guy
Thank you
It’s been a few weeks now. We’re definitely finding our feet. I have control of him and it’s such a turn on for us both. "
No problem and if you want more practice |
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We’ve carried out both these tasks already. He had a pretty uncomfortable day yesterday. 
