FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Young & New Swinger after some advice
Young & New Swinger after some advice
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So, I'm 24 in a couple weeks, not inexperienced by any means, with 4 seasons in Ibiza and 1 in Zante under my belt I've had waaaay more than my fair share of fun and explored all kinds of different kinks and scenarios unlike most people at my age have.
But compare my success of easily hitting it off with people in Ibiza or Zante with trying to hit it off with people here on FAB or the UK swinging scene, and its almost as if I'm wearing some sort of potent swinger repellent spray... I'm not one of these one liner type people that messages with "your fit lets fuck" followed by an unwanted and minging picture of my knob, I always open up by being polite, lay the foundations for some light conversation whilst also letting the person/people I'm messaging what I'm into as well as after... BUUUUUUT consistently no dice, literally nothing has come of the multitude of messages I've sent out to people over the last few months. I'm starting to think us younger swingers aren't very welcome in this community? Or that maybe I'm breaking some sort of secret swinger rule that I don't know about? Can any veteran swingers shed some light and give a young aspiring swinger some pointers before I delete this account? Tah lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hello, one of the biggest barriers will be your age. A lot of swingers have kids around your age…
The best thing you can do is go to swingers clubs to meet people.
Good luck   |
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Your age will put a lot of people off but you have an easy sense of humour and put yourself across well
I don't think you've broken any sort of secret swingers code (is there one?) but swinging is different to hooking up on holiday. Also for me at least avpicture of you with your arm round a faceless woman doesn't appeal neither does your line about men in their wife's knickers.
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yeah I've slowly cottoned on to that, which is a kicker because I quite enjoy an age gap lol.
I'm definitely going to try and get along to a few clubs here in the UK before I'm back to Ibiza for the Summer! Hopefully things go better for me than they have on FAB! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The picture is just one I liked of me, but it happened to have my friends face in it and I wanted to keep her identity off of this site. As for that other comment, I'm just stating preferences as I get a lot of interest from the wrong crowd, no insult intended.
But yep, I'm starting to think the age gap is the soul reason I'm struggling here, shame  |
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Your a good looking guy and you will find picking up girls in Ibiza easy compared to here for many reasons.
Your best bet would be heading to a club and interacting rather than messaging as most messages will go unread here and you won’t be able to put your personality across as well.
Women here aren’t generally looking for a one night stand situation that you would find in Ibiza and let’s face it most of the girls you chatted too will have been out drinking and already have their holiday mode brains in gear.
We would probably meet you for drinks as we like people with your background  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't even want to know how many women you have slept with during 5 seasons abroad I did 1 season in magaluf and probably slept with around 50 women during them few months. |
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On here it's also a sheer numbers game. The number of men looking for a quick fuck far outnumbers any other kind of member. We aren't even active but we get a dozen messages every time we log on. In addition to being young you're simply getting lost in the noise. |
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By *aughtycp1Couple
over a year ago
Leicestershire |
"So, I'm 24 in a couple weeks, not inexperienced by any means, with 4 seasons in Ibiza and 1 in Zante under my belt I've had waaaay more than my fair share of fun and explored all kinds of different kinks and scenarios unlike most people at my age have.
But compare my success of easily hitting it off with people in Ibiza or Zante with trying to hit it off with people here on FAB or the UK swinging scene, and its almost as if I'm wearing some sort of potent swinger repellent spray... I'm not one of these one liner type people that messages with "your fit lets fuck" followed by an unwanted and minging picture of my knob, I always open up by being polite, lay the foundations for some light conversation whilst also letting the person/people I'm messaging what I'm into as well as after... BUUUUUUT consistently no dice, literally nothing has come of the multitude of messages I've sent out to people over the last few months. I'm starting to think us younger swingers aren't very welcome in this community? Or that maybe I'm breaking some sort of secret swinger rule that I don't know about? Can any veteran swingers shed some light and give a young aspiring swinger some pointers before I delete this account? Tah lol "
I've seen your profile. I would definitely be interested x
Mrs N |
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By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
Based on some comments above it looks like you made some changes to your profile. It reads well but personally we would luke just a little but more. Certainly not graphic detail but something on why you want to meet couples (to show you know the difference between swinging and casual sex).
A few more pics would be good. A body shot helps. Even one showing your equipment but NOT loads of graphic close ups or cock choking pics from specific angles to make it look bigger. Classy is better.
However, you can do all that and you still face a massive hurdle. Standing out from the crowd. The majority of profiles on Fab are men. The competition is fierce. Sadly too many haven’t got the first clue about swinging. So find a way to be better than all of them.
Finally verifications! It is a catch 22 but you need them to be taken seriously. And for many people (inc us) they need to be displayed so we can see what is written by who. It matters. However, if you can’t meet anyone to get a veri then what to do...?
As others have said, get visiting swinger clubs. It IS very daunting the first few times but nobody will force you to do anything, most are full of friendly people, you can just watch as no need to join in AND you might meet sone Fab members who are willing to give you a veri (or even play at the club).
Good luck. |
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The obvious reason why you may be struggling is your comparing what goes on, on a 18-30's Ibiza holiday to actual Swinging.
They are very different things as I guess most of what happens in Ibiza is probably due to alcohol.
Forget what you did in Ibiza if your hoping to get into Swinging. |
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"The obvious reason why you may be struggling is your comparing what goes on, on a 18-30's Ibiza holiday to actual Swinging.
They are very different things as I guess most of what happens in Ibiza is probably due to alcohol.
Forget what you did in Ibiza if your hoping to get into Swinging."
This is a big reason as swinging is a lifestyle about having fun with others for mutual stimulation and excitement where as you’ve been used to just a quickie where you’ve been after fun or that’s the way it comes across?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP...if nights out in holiday resort bars works for you then why not head to your local high street bars...surely that would be easier. "
Nights out in Holiday resort bars didn't work for me as they were never my thing. I work and make my living in Ibiza, I don't spend my time cruising cheap west end bars in San An trying to shag pissed 18 year old girls that can't tell which way is up. Similar thing for why I don't go on the pull when I'm out with my friends, I enjoy my social life and prefer to just have a laugh and get on the piss with them. That way I also don't have to pay for any cabs home in the morning, happy days. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The obvious reason why you may be struggling is your comparing what goes on, on a 18-30's Ibiza holiday to actual Swinging.
They are very different things as I guess most of what happens in Ibiza is probably due to alcohol.
Forget what you did in Ibiza if your hoping to get into Swinging."
Who mentioned 18-30 holidays? Really showing your age there mate as they haven't existed for years lol. I run concierge services for a high end Ibiza based companies, I handle high end villa bookings, luxury airport transfers, Yacht/Speed Cruiser party charters etc and am involved with the running of 2 pretty famous events on the Island at 2 legendary Ibiza venues.
So no, most of what happens in Ibiza amongst the crowds at venues I associate with definitely isn't due to alcohol. Just thought I'd let you know a bit about me as you obviously think I only hunt for and play with pissed up girls on 18-30 holidays? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m looking up flights to Ibiza.  "
And I suggest you do! The Island is amazing, pure ecstasy in every way imaginable! Pricey nowadays, but truly worth every penny. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not sure what you were expecting from fab. But this isn’t Ibiza! Most of us ladies are not after a quick shag! And yes your too young"
I wasn't expecting people to not be so up themselves to be totally honest. And its bold of you to assume all the sex I had was just quickies? But as for me being to young, not to fear, you're to way old for my liking anyway love. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not sure what you were expecting from fab. But this isn’t Ibiza! Most of us ladies are not after a quick shag! And yes your too young
I wasn't expecting people to not be so up themselves to be totally honest. And its bold of you to assume all the sex I had was just quickies? But as for me being to young, not to fear, you're to way old for my liking anyway love. x "
This response is EXACTLY why many don’t want to meet guys your age. You have a lot of growing up
to do! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not sure what you were expecting from fab. But this isn’t Ibiza! Most of us ladies are not after a quick shag! And yes your too young
I wasn't expecting people to not be so up themselves to be totally honest. And its bold of you to assume all the sex I had was just quickies? But as for me being to young, not to fear, you're to way old for my liking anyway love. x "
Might wanna reduce your upper age limit then! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" This response is EXACTLY why many don’t want to meet guys your age. You have a lot of growing up
to do! "
No I really don't have any growing up to do. The older people on this forum have a lot of softening up to do and just behave and interact a little more politely and then I wouldn't bite back like I have. The large amount of messages I've received from younger people in response to my post all complaining about the older members of this site astounded me.
Such a toxic community amongst the 40+ crowd. |
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By *akie32Man
over a year ago
winchester |
"Not sure what you were expecting from fab. But this isn’t Ibiza! Most of us ladies are not after a quick shag! And yes your too young
I wasn't expecting people to not be so up themselves to be totally honest. And its bold of you to assume all the sex I had was just quickies? But as for me being to young, not to fear, you're to way old for my liking anyway love. x "
wow, way to impress |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I wasn't expecting people to not be so up themselves to be totally honest. And its bold of you to assume all the sex I had was just quickies? But as for me being to young, not to fear, you're to way old for my liking anyway love. x
wow, way to impress"
She said, and quite aggressively might I add (whats with all the "!!!'s" ?) its because I'm way to young, so I said the mutual unattraction is because she's way to old, what's the problem? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" This response is EXACTLY why many don’t want to meet guys your age. You have a lot of growing up
to do!
No I really don't have any growing up to do. The older people on this forum have a lot of softening up to do and just behave and interact a little more politely and then I wouldn't bite back like I have. The large amount of messages I've received from younger people in response to my post all complaining about the older members of this site astounded me.
Such a toxic community amongst the 40+ crowd."
You attacked someone for giving an opinion when you’re the one who asked for opinions. That isn’t grown up. This site is predominantly over 40s FYI |
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"Not sure what you were expecting from fab. But this isn’t Ibiza! Most of us ladies are not after a quick shag! And yes your too young
I wasn't expecting people to not be so up themselves to be totally honest. And its bold of you to assume all the sex I had was just quickies? But as for me being to young, not to fear, you're to way old for my liking anyway love. x "
Why stoop to that level, you've spent most of this thread saying you like an age gap, your profile shows you looking to meet people up to the age of 70, yet here you are telling a 45 year old they are way to old got you
You came across well at the start of this thread but as it's gone along your age & lack of maturity has come through, just because people have made assumptions about you, don't do the same back, rise above it, be the bigger man, you're obviously doing well for yourself in ibiza (& im not talking sex) you don't need to prove yourself to anyone here, so don't lower yourself & make comments that you'll later regret
My original advice before I read down the post would have been head to a cougars & cubs night at a club where women & couples are specifically looking for younger guys, if that's your thing, FAB is tough for single guys as they outnumber women & couples 100 to 1, add to that your age which will put a lot of people off, it's gonna be a slog most guys will tell you they wait a year for their first meet, it's definitely not the dial a shag most guys imagine it will be (& that last comment wasn't aimed at you) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" This response is EXACTLY why many don’t want to meet guys your age. You have a lot of growing up
to do!
No I really don't have any growing up to do. The older people on this forum have a lot of softening up to do and just behave and interact a little more politely and then I wouldn't bite back like I have. The large amount of messages I've received from younger people in response to my post all complaining about the older members of this site astounded me.
Such a toxic community amongst the 40+ crowd.
You attacked someone for giving an opinion when you’re the one who asked for opinions. That isn’t grown up. This site is predominantly over 40s FYI"
"Attacked" is a bit of an exaggeration. I think you could more accurately call it matching her toxicity. Who is she to assume what I'm on here searching for, who is she to categorically state that I am to young, to young for what and who says she gets to decide what and who I'm to young for? Who is she to assume she knows what has gone on with me in Ibiza?
I get you oldies want to stick together, but don't come at me when I'm just reacting to the very thing I was complaining about in my original post, you've picked the wrong young one lmfao.
It costs nothing to be nice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" This response is EXACTLY why many don’t want to meet guys your age. You have a lot of growing up
to do!
No I really don't have any growing up to do. The older people on this forum have a lot of softening up to do and just behave and interact a little more politely and then I wouldn't bite back like I have. The large amount of messages I've received from younger people in response to my post all complaining about the older members of this site astounded me.
Such a toxic community amongst the 40+ crowd.
You attacked someone for giving an opinion when you’re the one who asked for opinions. That isn’t grown up. This site is predominantly over 40s FYI
"Attacked" is a bit of an exaggeration. I think you could more accurately call it matching her toxicity. Who is she to assume what I'm on here searching for, who is she to categorically state that I am to young, to young for what and who says she gets to decide what and who I'm to young for? Who is she to assume she knows what has gone on with me in Ibiza?
I get you oldies want to stick together, but don't come at me when I'm just reacting to the very thing I was complaining about in my original post, you've picked the wrong young one lmfao.
It costs nothing to be nice. "
Who you calling old? Yet again showing immaturity (sigh!) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" This response is EXACTLY why many don’t want to meet guys your age. You have a lot of growing up
to do!
No I really don't have any growing up to do. The older people on this forum have a lot of softening up to do and just behave and interact a little more politely and then I wouldn't bite back like I have. The large amount of messages I've received from younger people in response to my post all complaining about the older members of this site astounded me.
Such a toxic community amongst the 40+ crowd.
You attacked someone for giving an opinion when you’re the one who asked for opinions. That isn’t grown up. This site is predominantly over 40s FYI
"Attacked" is a bit of an exaggeration. I think you could more accurately call it matching her toxicity. Who is she to assume what I'm on here searching for, who is she to categorically state that I am to young, to young for what and who says she gets to decide what and who I'm to young for? Who is she to assume she knows what has gone on with me in Ibiza?
I get you oldies want to stick together, but don't come at me when I'm just reacting to the very thing I was complaining about in my original post, you've picked the wrong young one lmfao.
It costs nothing to be nice.
Who you calling old? Yet again showing immaturity (sigh!)"
Who's she and you calling young? Yet again showing ageism. Respect goes both ways. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" This response is EXACTLY why many don’t want to meet guys your age. You have a lot of growing up
to do!
No I really don't have any growing up to do. The older people on this forum have a lot of softening up to do and just behave and interact a little more politely and then I wouldn't bite back like I have. The large amount of messages I've received from younger people in response to my post all complaining about the older members of this site astounded me.
Such a toxic community amongst the 40+ crowd."
Please don't take this the wrong way but you can't blame someone for the way YOU react. That's all on you and in itself is a very toxic trait and a red flag for many singles or couples. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" This response is EXACTLY why many don’t want to meet guys your age. You have a lot of growing up
to do!
No I really don't have any growing up to do. The older people on this forum have a lot of softening up to do and just behave and interact a little more politely and then I wouldn't bite back like I have. The large amount of messages I've received from younger people in response to my post all complaining about the older members of this site astounded me.
Such a toxic community amongst the 40+ crowd.
You attacked someone for giving an opinion when you’re the one who asked for opinions. That isn’t grown up. This site is predominantly over 40s FYI
"Attacked" is a bit of an exaggeration. I think you could more accurately call it matching her toxicity. Who is she to assume what I'm on here searching for, who is she to categorically state that I am to young, to young for what and who says she gets to decide what and who I'm to young for? Who is she to assume she knows what has gone on with me in Ibiza?
I get you oldies want to stick together, but don't come at me when I'm just reacting to the very thing I was complaining about in my original post, you've picked the wrong young one lmfao.
It costs nothing to be nice.
Who you calling old? Yet again showing immaturity (sigh!)
Who's she and you calling young? Yet again showing ageism. Respect goes both ways."
Calling a 23 year old young isn’t disrespectful, I mean look at the title of your post. Calling a 40 year old an oldie is disrespectful though! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So, I'm 24 in a couple weeks, not inexperienced by any means, with 4 seasons in Ibiza and 1 in Zante under my belt I've had waaaay more than my fair share of fun and explored all kinds of different kinks and scenarios unlike most people at my age have.
But compare my success of easily hitting it off with people in Ibiza or Zante with trying to hit it off with people here on FAB or the UK swinging scene, and its almost as if I'm wearing some sort of potent swinger repellent spray... I'm not one of these one liner type people that messages with "your fit lets fuck" followed by an unwanted and minging picture of my knob, I always open up by being polite, lay the foundations for some light conversation whilst also letting the person/people I'm messaging what I'm into as well as after... BUUUUUUT consistently no dice, literally nothing has come of the multitude of messages I've sent out to people over the last few months. I'm starting to think us younger swingers aren't very welcome in this community? Or that maybe I'm breaking some sort of secret swinger rule that I don't know about? Can any veteran swingers shed some light and give a young aspiring swinger some pointers before I delete this account? Tah lol "
I’m similar to you mate 24 and new to this all |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"Not sure what you were expecting from fab. But this isn’t Ibiza! Most of us ladies are not after a quick shag! And yes your too young
I wasn't expecting people to not be so up themselves to be totally honest. And its bold of you to assume all the sex I had was just quickies? But as for me being to young, not to fear, you're to way old for my liking anyway love. x "
Actually I’m not 70 which is your upper age range on here I’m quite a big younger |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" This response is EXACTLY why many don’t want to meet guys your age. You have a lot of growing up
to do!
No I really don't have any growing up to do. The older people on this forum have a lot of softening up to do and just behave and interact a little more politely and then I wouldn't bite back like I have. The large amount of messages I've received from younger people in response to my post all complaining about the older members of this site astounded me.
Such a toxic community amongst the 40+ crowd.
Please don't take this the wrong way but you can't blame someone for the way YOU react. That's all on you and in itself is a very toxic trait and a red flag for many singles or couples. "
Absolutely
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"Can any veteran swingers shed some light and give a young aspiring swinger some pointers before I delete this account?"
I would delete the account, you picked a fight with veteran swingers and had a slanging match with them on an open forum.
This is not how to win friends and Influence people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""Can any veteran swingers shed some light and give a young aspiring swinger some pointers before I delete this account?"
I would delete the account, you picked a fight with veteran swingers and had a slanging match with them on an open forum.
This is not how to win friends and Influence people. "
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"So, I'm 24 in a couple weeks, not inexperienced by any means, with 4 seasons in Ibiza and 1 in Zante under my belt I've had waaaay more than my fair share of fun and explored all kinds of different kinks and scenarios unlike most people at my age have.
But compare my success of easily hitting it off with people in Ibiza or Zante with trying to hit it off with people here on FAB or the UK swinging scene, and its almost as if I'm wearing some sort of potent swinger repellent spray... I'm not one of these one liner type people that messages with "your fit lets fuck" followed by an unwanted and minging picture of my knob, I always open up by being polite, lay the foundations for some light conversation whilst also letting the person/people I'm messaging what I'm into as well as after... BUUUUUUT consistently no dice, literally nothing has come of the multitude of messages I've sent out to people over the last few months. I'm starting to think us younger swingers aren't very welcome in this community? Or that maybe I'm breaking some sort of secret swinger rule that I don't know about? Can any veteran swingers shed some light and give a young aspiring swinger some pointers before I delete this account? Tah lol "
. Reading this link is painfull , please do yourself and ours a favour op and delete your profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""Can any veteran swingers shed some light and give a young aspiring swinger some pointers before I delete this account?"
I would delete the account, you picked a fight with veteran swingers and had a slanging match with them on an open forum.
This is not how to win friends and Influence people. "
Absolutely this.
Sadly it happens a lot on the forums (not always) when younger guys ask for advice. It’s amazing how quickly they become arrogant and hostile when things don’t go their way. They do themselves no favours.
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"So, I'm 24 in a couple weeks, not inexperienced by any means, with 4 seasons in Ibiza and 1 in Zante under my belt I've had waaaay more than my fair share of fun and explored all kinds of different kinks and scenarios unlike most people at my age have.
But compare my success of easily hitting it off with people in Ibiza or Zante with trying to hit it off with people here on FAB or the UK swinging scene, and its almost as if I'm wearing some sort of potent swinger repellent spray... I'm not one of these one liner type people that messages with "your fit lets fuck" followed by an unwanted and minging picture of my knob, I always open up by being polite, lay the foundations for some light conversation whilst also letting the person/people I'm messaging what I'm into as well as after... BUUUUUUT consistently no dice, literally nothing has come of the multitude of messages I've sent out to people over the last few months. I'm starting to think us younger swingers aren't very welcome in this community? Or that maybe I'm breaking some sort of secret swinger rule that I don't know about? Can any veteran swingers shed some light and give a young aspiring swinger some pointers before I delete this account? Tah lol "
Don't delete! Just persevere it takes a long time to become established on here it will happen for you mate just ride it out use a catchy word in the message subject box that's the first thing they see you gotta reel em in engage there mind and the boy will follow! Remember this the ratio of guys to women in here is rediculasly higher so the women are overwhelmed most if the time and just can't answer every message there getting 200 plus message aday ! So it's not just you! U just gotta learn the ropes |
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By *akie32Man
over a year ago
winchester |
"
Who's she and you calling young? Yet again showing ageism. Respect goes both ways."
Respect is earned not given, and im sorry you havnt earned mine here, im sure you will say you dont care and thats fine with me. im nearly twice your age and i know i still ahve some growing up to do, at your age i knew very little about the world, however i thought i knew it all |
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