FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Need some help with a problem
Need some help with a problem
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *idzmale OP Man
over a year ago
telford |
I met this amazing woman who is gorgeous. I’m very lucky to have. My problem is when comes to sex I don’t seem to get hard or if I do it’s not for long. I never cum for her yet. I made her cum loads of time with the help of my fingers and tongue. Really looking for genuine help and advise why I can’t get hard for her. She thinks I’m nervous of her but I never had the problem before. Hope some one can help |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Only you can truly know the specific cause, presumably in just this instance.
Often it's stress related, which may be caused by self-imposed pressure. It may be that you have expected too much from yourself and this has an equally opposite effect.
If the sex is satisfying for her, then you can only keep communicating well and look at how you can reduce pressure, as well as a potential medical solution. Medical options are available for ED of course but it could be better to explore natural ways that you can have sex, that will allow you to sustain your physical performance.
Sex with a partner who's taken ED meds can be a little different.
Meditation and general relaxation programmes will help you to create stronger habits of having reduced stress, so regularly relaxing could help to give you an automatic switch into a calmer, relaxing state of mind that may be all you need to have better erections etc.
Keep talking and exploring. If there's no problem for your partner, you can let things evolve. Chemists can supply meds, if you are diagnosed with an issue |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A lot of ED is a result of poor pelvic floor tone (yes men have pelvic floor muscles too!) So perhaps looking at strengthening them would be worthwhile. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A lot of ED is a result of poor pelvic floor tone (yes men have pelvic floor muscles too!) So perhaps looking at strengthening them would be worthwhile. "
Interesting might do some research on this ty  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Do you find her sexually appealing, do you feel you might not live up to her expectations, are you nervous of her?
Think you might be right "
Women's expectations do not increase in line with how attractive you perceive them to be . Also she possibly/probably has the same anxieties as you.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rab74Man
over a year ago
Huntingdon |
Two other things to consider.
One is physical fitness. If you're not very fit, you're more likely to have issues with erections. I don't know whether that's the case for you, but it's worth thinking about.
And another is wanking. It's perfectly possible to make yourself cum when you're not fully hard. The problem is that if you get habituated to that over a longer time, your body can get used to not needing to get fully hard or stay hard. It's only a habit, and you can break that habit by making sure you only wank when you're genuinely physically aroused. I've actually been here recently, after a long time sex-free over the last couple of years, and I imagine it's true for a lot of us over Covid. I'm all sorted now, but I thought it'd be worth sharing. Guys tend not to talk about this kind of thing! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I once had regular sex with a woman and no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t cum. She was absolutely stunning, great in bed and 100% my type but it just wouldn’t happen. We were fully comfortable around each other and used to lie for hours naked together just having a laugh so it definitely wasn’t nerves.
I think some people just aren’t sexually compatible unfortunately  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I met this amazing woman who is gorgeous. I’m very lucky to have. My problem is when comes to sex I don’t seem to get hard or if I do it’s not for long. I never cum for her yet. I made her cum loads of time with the help of my fingers and tongue. Really looking for genuine help and advise why I can’t get hard for her. She thinks I’m nervous of her but I never had the problem before. Hope some one can help "
Are you married or attached? Could be nerves are you pushed for time? And worried about it or totally relaxed? Try putting porn on that useally works ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Just sounds like good old fashioned "stage fright". esp if your ok other times. It can be a physiological thing. Even when you think you have over come the anxiety, embarrassment, pressure, not enjoying it and want to enjoy it, your brain hasn't caught up yet? Bit like me and watersports, tried, can't do it, stage fright lol Even though I'm enjoying whatever at the time and " in the zone " just don't happen. can happen the other way to, if a guy insists he will guarantee to make me squirt or is one to put the focus on making you, it never happens then! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I met this amazing woman who is gorgeous. I’m very lucky to have. My problem is when comes to sex I don’t seem to get hard or if I do it’s not for long. I never cum for her yet. I made her cum loads of time with the help of my fingers and tongue. Really looking for genuine help and advise why I can’t get hard for her. She thinks I’m nervous of her but I never had the problem before. Hope some one can help "
I got the same too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I met this amazing woman who is gorgeous. I’m very lucky to have. My problem is when comes to sex I don’t seem to get hard or if I do it’s not for long. I never cum for her yet. I made her cum loads of time with the help of my fingers and tongue. Really looking for genuine help and advise why I can’t get hard for her. She thinks I’m nervous of her but I never had the problem before. Hope some one can help "
Carlos thinks this sounds like an anxiety issue and suggests you visit your GP.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
