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How can an open relationship work
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do you believe you need to focus on one open relationship each time,or can you have more?
I ve been polyamorous my whole adult life and I think that its difficult to focus on multiple partners.That s always a reason to lie and stop being yourself against the other part. For me it s okay when my partner sleeps with others,but it s not fine if she plans to do activities with others that she could do with me.Im in one relationship like that rn with a much younger girl from abroad,that i see once or twice per month and I m trynna explain how it works.
Please share your opinion with me if you have some similar experience on ethical polygamy
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You definitely need to explain how it works for you as everyone is different. I have a partner and if I wanted to go to something in the non swinging world with someone else I have had sex with I would. It's not for him to dictate what I can do just as I wouldn't dictate to him. It's about trust and freedom for us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you believe you need to focus on one open relationship each time,or can you have more?
I ve been polyamorous my whole adult life and I think that its difficult to focus on multiple partners.That s always a reason to lie and stop being yourself against the other part. For me it s okay when my partner sleeps with others,but it s not fine if she plans to do activities with others that she could do with me.Im in one relationship like that rn with a much younger girl from abroad,that i see once or twice per month and I m trynna explain how it works.
Please share your opinion with me if you have some similar experience on ethical polygamy
"
Are you sure you're polyamorous? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I don t mean it in the way of dictating my partner. But it s a matter of time. If I had 4 different open relationships around Europe for example,I d need to see each of them for 3 days per month. That means i ll need to travel the half of the month. Or you may need to soend your whole day over your phone to keep in touch with all of them. For me you can only have one open relationship and fuck around at the same time. I tell my sexual partners that I m in an open relationship which is the only person who I go bareback with for example,so there won t be any expectations |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I ve had several open relationships the last 10 years and I don t think it s the same with fab meetings. On this community I make friends,I m having fun etc,but I do much more with my open relationship. Planning things in life,like going on holidays and trynna find a place where we d move together etc |
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"I don t mean it in the way of dictating my partner. But it s a matter of time. If I had 4 different open relationships around Europe for example,I d need to see each of them for 3 days per month. That means i ll need to travel the half of the month. Or you may need to soend your whole day over your phone to keep in touch with all of them. For me you can only have one open relationship and fuck around at the same time. I tell my sexual partners that I m in an open relationship which is the only person who I go bareback with for example,so there won t be any expectations "
I think an open relationship & polyamory are two different things & what your trying to achieve doesn't sound poly to me
most people who have open relationships don't try and have multiple serious relationships like your suggesting as logistically it's a headache let alone physically trying to be in so many places (even if they were all fairly local) and emotionally giving them all enough time
People in open relationships tend to focus on one relationship/full time partner that they may or may not live with, then have a regular girl/boyfriend that they may or may not do holidays weekends away with etc, others have their main relationship but date others but the dates are casual, diner, nights out etc but are short term, so wouldn't lead to holidays etc, which is what sounds like it would suit you better if you aren't comfortable with your partners making those kind of plans with others |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I only agree to the last part. But for me you can be either monogamous or polygamous,which means by word having different sexual partners(being greek helps with the translation). So If you re polygamous,you can be into many different situations,from swinging,to having many fwb etc.
So for me open relationships are part of polygamy and it actually means being in a sorta serious relationship,that gives you the freedom having fwb,ons or whateverelse at the same time |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
The key principles for me with any relationship involving more than 2 people is to ensure that everyone is getting what they need from the relationship, be that time or something else, and that you understand that you don’t need to be 100% of everything your partners needs. When the relationship no longer gives you what you want then its time to assess it. |
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"Do you believe you need to focus on one open relationship each time,or can you have more?
I ve been polyamorous my whole adult life and I think that its difficult to focus on multiple partners.That s always a reason to lie and stop being yourself against the other part. For me it s okay when my partner sleeps with others,but it s not fine if she plans to do activities with others that she could do with me.Im in one relationship like that rn with a much younger girl from abroad,that i see once or twice per month and I m trynna explain how it works.
Please share your opinion with me if you have some similar experience on ethical polygamy
Are you sure you're polyamorous?"
Yeah, I'm not convinced about OP either. |
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"Do you believe you need to focus on one open relationship each time,or can you have more?
I ve been polyamorous my whole adult life and I think that its difficult to focus on multiple partners.That s always a reason to lie and stop being yourself against the other part. For me it s okay when my partner sleeps with others,but it s not fine if she plans to do activities with others that she could do with me.Im in one relationship like that rn with a much younger girl from abroad,that i see once or twice per month and I m trynna explain how it works.
Please share your opinion with me if you have some similar experience on ethical polygamy
Are you sure you're polyamorous?
Yeah, I'm not convinced about OP either. "
Agree. It seems this Greek God has confused Polyamory with Polygamy, and just wants to fuck about, lol. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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https://www.prevention.com/life/a27890891/polyamorous-relationship/
I m posting that here. I really agree to the authors explanation on it.Just have a look |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Could be..I ve never thought of the difference tbf,but yeah.The latin amory has a different meaning than the greek gamy. So am I polygamous but not polyamorous?  |
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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago
Wherever the party is! |
"https://www.prevention.com/life/a27890891/polyamorous-relationship/
I m posting that here. I really agree to the authors explanation on it.Just have a look"
Polygamy and polyamory are not the same thing. |
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"I don t mean it in the way of dictating my partner. But it s a matter of time. If I had 4 different open relationships around Europe for example,I d need to see each of them for 3 days per month. That means i ll need to travel the half of the month. Or you may need to soend your whole day over your phone to keep in touch with all of them. For me you can only have one open relationship and fuck around at the same time. I tell my sexual partners that I m in an open relationship which is the only person who I go bareback with for example,so there won t be any expectations "
Confusing  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sharing your partner sexually is much easier than sharing them emotionally for sure. Fully open and honest communication is key. Make sure you have those difficult conversations. |
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Might indeed be more like polygamy. Just sounds greedy and controlling to me. Like wanting your cake and eating it - no mention of what the other people in OP's multiple relationships want and their freedoms. I think we need to differentiate between relationships and sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So does that mean that,being polygamous is easier than being polyamorous. I just need to understand the difference"
I’m confused! You’ve been in the scene for ten years but don’t know the difference?
I mean polyamory literally means poly=many amory=love |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont think so. If she can t act in the way i like in that open relationship,we can be fwb and meet every now and then"
‘If she can’t act in the way I like’ sorry but that statement screams red flags to me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why? As soon as she can t do as I want and can t do as she wants,should we break eachother hearts?  We can be fwb and happy"
Because you didn’t mention what she might need at all. This whole post seems to be very me me me without much thought given for your partners. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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No,I actually made this post to define what an open relationship means for others,how other people act in situations like that and to find any possible alternativeto my instanse.
Believe me if i hadn t any thoughts about what my partner want,I probably wouldn t post that topic on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am poly and have no issue with giving the levels of love and attention to both my paramours. Both people need different things and open, honest communication is a must.
So are you polly or in an open relationship. There are closed poly relationships and open poly relationships.
No set rules and no one can tell you how you do. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I m so confused with all these meanings. I need to search about it further.
I think I m a close poly,but what I read is that people in these sort of relationship can only have sex with people within a specific poly group.
I don t mind if the person I have sex with,or the person my partner has sex with,is someone,I or she doesn t know at all,even if it s an ONS.
On the other hand.both me and my partner have agreed we ve never fallen in love with anyone. The key is that we want to live together,have kids etc |
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"I dont think so. If she can t act in the way i like in that open relationship,we can be fwb and meet every now and then
‘If she can’t act in the way I like’ sorry but that statement screams red flags to me! "
To me to, maybe it's the language barrier |
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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago
Durham |
"Do you believe you need to focus on one open relationship each time,or can you have more?
I ve been polyamorous my whole adult life and I think that its difficult to focus on multiple partners.That s always a reason to lie and stop being yourself against the other part. For me it s okay when my partner sleeps with others,but it s not fine if she plans to do activities with others that she could do with me.Im in one relationship like that rn with a much younger girl from abroad,that i see once or twice per month and I m trynna explain how it works.
Please share your opinion with me if you have some similar experience on ethical polygamy
"
None of that is how I do polyamory/ethical nonmonogamy.
My partners are individuals with full autonomy to do what they want when they want with who they want. And I’m really lucky that out of all the people in the world, they choose to do me. I do what I want, when I want, and I’m really lucky to have people to join me on these adventures.
Don’t need to lie, I trust them to be able to handle hard things, and vice versa. You do you, but you wouldn’t work for me.
For this reason, I think it’s important you tell people you’re in an open relationship, maybe monogamish? Polyamorous, I assume someone is open to falling in love and building a partnership. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm in an open relationship (he has his own profile on here) the boundaries are he can have a "regular fwb" no emotional connection as this I perceive as a level that goes from fun to cheating. I'd define more as its slightly more complex than I care to put in a thread but I'm tired so I won't. What I will say is if it works for all parties and the trust is there, then each to their own |
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