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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all, i'm new to the scene and looking to go to a club one afternoon or evening, as a single male, not necessarily looking to play, just to make a few contacts, and get into the social side of swinging.
Does anyone have any advice that i can take on board? |
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Hey OP.
1st off you seem like you have the right attitude to start with but here are my tips as a single male who has been a few times.
1) go with zero expectations- if you do expect anything you can’t be disappointed
2) do you’re research - prep is key know as much as possible before you get there. look at the forums the club’s website and find out as much as possible.
3) speak to the staff - when you arrive explain that it’s your first time and they should show you round and if they are nice they will give you advice about the club
4) be friendly but respectful - make an effort to talk to people but don’t be upset if they aren’t interested in talking to you
Good luck
Ashley |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We like single guys in clubs.
Smile, make eye contact and look approachable.
We notice that often we (or rather I the male) have to make the first move.
We understand though that a lot of rejection does go on making guys reluctant to approach.
Try and develop a thick skin and don’t let it bring you down.
You are appreciated by many. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Try quest and pandoras in Leeds and make an effort to talk to people . Don't just lurk around the playrooms wanking. Be normal and friendly and you never know your luck !"
Haha we call them the wanking dead
That was our experience of the guys in Pandora’s |
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Make sure you are clean, well dressed, turned out & smell nice. Smile, chat & be friendly. But take the hint if folks walk away & are not interested. Listen to thanks but no thanks. Wait to be invited to join. Don’t go with any expectations. Be polite & respectful. Tell the staff on arrival that it is your first time at the club & they will give you a tour so you know the lay of the land. Most of all relax & enjoy it. As a single female attending clubs alone I find hanging around the bar area (if there is a room) a good place to get chatting to people! |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
My advice
Tell staff it’s your first time. Even if I go to a club for a first time I always say it’s first time here. The staff will normally do a introduction and walk you around
Also make sure you smell fresh and clean. I have a shower before I come, and also have deodorant / shower gel with me if I need to freshen up
I would also smile hang around the. Ar area which is always a good place to meet people. I struggle saying hello to others but you get to know when it’s ok  |
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"Hi all, i'm new to the scene and looking to go to a club one afternoon or evening, as a single male, not necessarily looking to play, just to make a few contacts, and get into the social side of swinging.
Does anyone have any advice that i can take on board?"
The best advice I can give you, as someone who has been to several clubs as a solo guy, is; go with a female friend. You will get your face seen, and people will approach you more readily as part of a couple, than trying to establish yourself as a single male.
If you do choose to go as a single guy, look at the club reviews, particularly those left by other single guys, and message them (if filters allow) to ask their unbiased opinion in confidence.
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks everyone, went yesterday and got chatting and made to feel welcome. Will definitely be going back now I know there will be someone I have met before and chatted to on here the next time I go. |
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Which club did you venture too in the end? Quest in Leeds is supposed to be good on a Sunday. Pandoras is huge & was very empty on the Sunday I went there although I hear it is very busy on organised event nights |
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"Thanks everyone, went yesterday and got chatting and made to feel welcome. Will definitely be going back now I know there will be someone I have met before and chatted to on here the next time I go. "
That's great to hear you were well received and made to feel welcome mate! Fair play to the Quest community, I hope other clubs take note! I haven't been there myself, but a positive review like yours from a single guy's perspective would make me think of visiting for sure  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We like single guys in clubs.
Smile, make eye contact and look approachable.
We notice that often we (or rather I the male) have to make the first move.
We understand though that a lot of rejection does go on making guys reluctant to approach.
Try and develop a thick skin and don’t let it bring you down.
You are appreciated by many. "
This for me too, I barely ever get approached at clubs and single guys are my thing  |
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"We like single guys in clubs.
Smile, make eye contact and look approachable.
We notice that often we (or rather I the male) have to make the first move.
We understand though that a lot of rejection does go on making guys reluctant to approach.
Try and develop a thick skin and don’t let it bring you down.
You are appreciated by many.
This for me too, I barely ever get approached at clubs and single guys are my thing "
Two things here; I’ve rarely seen any single ladies in clubs, and do you approach single guys?
|
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"We like single guys in clubs.
Smile, make eye contact and look approachable.
We notice that often we (or rather I the male) have to make the first move.
We understand though that a lot of rejection does go on making guys reluctant to approach.
Try and develop a thick skin and don’t let it bring you down.
You are appreciated by many.
This for me too, I barely ever get approached at clubs and single guys are my thing "
That is kinda where I am at moment - Pre covid I used to talk to anyone I still do but not in terms of play |
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