Hi all.
Wife and I are both actively on here and will check back so you may talk to either of us but Mr is more active as Mrs tends to read with mr. We don't have any swing friends that have been to a club to bounce off directly, as the meets we have had were people that hadn't been to clubs, so have come here for help.
Mr has read about clubs like bghs and from on the forums it all seems positive and respectful enough. As such, Mr wants to try one as finds the idea hot but Mrs is apprehensive.
Mrs had a gay male friend who visited a couple of clubs (unsure which) and he painted a very seedy view of it all to her and it has really put her off the idea as she is quite shy to start and doesn't want to walk into what she worries would be a seedy club and feel overwhelmed.
What is the vibe like and it would be good to understand if anyone else has been in a similar situation. any unbias experience and advice for either building confidence or first timers (should we take the plunge). Guess the aim of this post is to understand if her friend was over doing it or if different clubs differ or it is as seedy as he painted it. We are trying to understand if it's for us. The additional reason is because Mrs likes spontaneous fun rather than too planned and this seemed like a way to make things more spontaneous of we found someone or people we clicked with.
Sorry for the brain dump
Thanks in advance
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By *outhbucksCouple
over a year ago
Great Missenden |
As already mentioned, Bristol Gardens is a naturist spa. As such it is VERY safe and Mrs Sexandthesuburbans83 shouldn't feel threatened or overwhelmed at all.
No play is tolerated in the spa areas at all. As an example, we had gone with another couple and were in one of the steam rooms.
We were casually talking between us about nothing sexual and I was gently stroking the back of the woman from the other couple. Just her back! There was nothing sexual about it yet a woman from another couple felt uncomfortable enough about this 'overt' sexual activity to call me out on it. She had no idea if the woman I was stroking was my wife or not. Fair enough, it is a naturist venue and the point of story is to try and emphasise that there would never be any pressure on Mrs Sexandthesuburbans83.
Even in the 'rest areas' where play is tolerated, everyone is very respectful and no means no.
Go during a couples only session and you would be even more sure of respectful behaviour.
If you did want to go to a true swingers club, I would make the effort to travel to The Vanilla Alternative or Liberty Elite.
Both are well run clubs that are anything but seedy.
Again, go on a couples only evening (usually Saturday) and you won't run the risk of being hounded by single guys.
You absolutely won't get any hassle and should you not want to interact with anyone, just keep yourselves to yourselves and watch.
We have recently been having this exact conversation with a local couple to us and they plucked up the courage to go The Vanilla Alternative. They chatted to other couples but didn't play with any but had great fun putting on a show that others enjoyed watching. They had a great time and would have already gone back if Omicron hadn't got in the way.
It is your job to reassure her and look after her and make her feel safe. Make sure you both know what boundaries are absolute and which are more fluid.
I would add, some gay clubs can be the exact opposite and 100% seedy as that is what some of their customers want. |
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We've been to a few different clubs, and yes, probably one or two may have been a bit "seedy", or below our standards, but those are the ones that don't get a repeat visit.
Most clubs we have been to resemble more a pub or nightclub, with just much more relaxed atmosphere, than a sex club from movies. In none of them we've been forced to do anything we didn't want to do.
When choosing a club, have a look at their websites and their reviews. Also, decide whether you'd rather go to a spa-based club where you dress down on arrival and walk around in towel/underwear, or if you'd rather go to a nightclub style club, where you come in dressed as comfortable and sexy as you dare and only need to dress down if choosing to go to play areas. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having chatted to people who have been to gay clubs I got the impression they are far more full on than your average swingers club so I wouldn't compare the 2. |
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As others have said bghs isn't a swingers club. In fact it isn't a club at all or even a swingers venue, though some swinging does go on. It's a nice clean naturist health spa and is great for a first trip out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’d suggest your wife’s gay friend probably didn’t go to a swingers club, but went to a gay club/sauna. They really can be very seedy, especially in the dark rooms.
Swingers clubs tend to be friendly places geared to prioritise the ladies safety and comfort, seeing as we’re often the most sought after attendees.  |
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Thank you all for the replies and information. It has really helped and certainly given a fresh view. We will let you know how we get on if we do go down that route. Bghs sounds good then if it's a naturists Spa with a bit extra. |
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