FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Struggling at events
Struggling at events
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I have been to a few events/parties over the past couple of months, this post isn't about one in particular.
I have found it difficult to break into the scene and make new connections. Most of them have had quite a lot more men than women and couples which I expect anyway but I have still managed to meet a wide range of people from all over from these parties and events.
I don't know if I am expecting too much from these but I end up finding them very awkward further into the night, 90% of interaction (I'm not talking about playing together) is from people who already knew each other which is understandable and 100% okay but then I find left just kind of wondering about along with other single men for the rest of the evening who obviously aren't too interested in talking with one another.
I do not rely on the site directly to meet people as I thought events and parties would be a much better way. I don't attend them with high expectations to avoid disappointment but I don't feel as though as I am getting the most out of them. Does anyone have any advice? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"They don't sound like very well organised parties/events if they have a disproportionate number of single males to be honest."
Most I have attended have had much more men then women and couples. Part of me just expects it due to supply and demand. But I think if organiser's simply just stopped accepting male bookings after a certain point to keep the ratio balance then they would lead to much more enjoyable experiences. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"They don't sound like very well organised parties/events if they have a disproportionate number of single males to be honest.
Most I have attended have had much more men then women and couples. Part of me just expects it due to supply and demand. But I think if organiser's simply just stopped accepting male bookings after a certain point to keep the ratio balance then they would lead to much more enjoyable experiences. "
More enjoyable in what way?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Most events around here have a very limited number of single guys so like someone else said those events you are going to doesn't sound well organized or maybe they just want to maximise profits. Get in touch with your local organisers, they will help introduce you to folks in the inner circle lol
One tip based on personal experience, do not hang around in groups with other single guys, it is very intimidating and one bad apple can ruin it for all, you will be better off being on your own looking like billy no mates. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"They don't sound like very well organised parties/events if they have a disproportionate number of single males to be honest.
Most I have attended have had much more men then women and couples. Part of me just expects it due to supply and demand. But I think if organiser's simply just stopped accepting male bookings after a certain point to keep the ratio balance then they would lead to much more enjoyable experiences.
More enjoyable in what way?
"
I think it would be a much more relaxed and less competitive atmosphere. Less people left out. That's my opinion anyway. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I've only been to two events, but they have had a majority of couples, followed by single males and females.
When you say people chat in groups of people they already know, how do you know that? Could these not be people that have been brought together because of the event?
I found with these events (and club nights) one of the best things to do is interact on forum chats about the event and respond to meets and join any Telegram groups that may get set up.
Usually I end up chatting to a few people before I even get to the event and these are the people I then gravitate to and we all introduce each other to the others we chatted to.
Unfortunately if you don't get talking to people early enough, I feel you probably will get left out.
Good luck in the future xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Most events around here have a very limited number of single guys so like someone else said those events you are going to doesn't sound well organized or maybe they just want to maximise profits. Get in touch with your local organisers, they will help introduce you to folks in the inner circle lol
One tip based on personal experience, do not hang around in groups with other single guys, it is very intimidating and one bad apple can ruin it for all, you will be better off being on your own looking like billy no mates."
Being on my own looking like Billy no mates didn’t help me on Friday night in Club Play, but it wasn’t the busiest of nights either. I take your point about looking intimidating as a group of guys though  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"They don't sound like very well organised parties/events if they have a disproportionate number of single males to be honest.
Most I have attended have had much more men then women and couples. Part of me just expects it due to supply and demand. But I think if organiser's simply just stopped accepting male bookings after a certain point to keep the ratio balance then they would lead to much more enjoyable experiences.
More enjoyable in what way?
I think it would be a much more relaxed and less competitive atmosphere. Less people left out. That's my opinion anyway."
Oh ok.
We used to go to an organised social that had no limits single men. It (from our point of view) was very successful and anecdotally from the single men's too. We viewed it as a chance to make connections for the future. We used to go to Eurekas in the day and single men were by far in the majority. They tended to become one sort of group, appearing as if by magic at the slightest hint of any sexual activity. I don't think restricting numbers is the answer though, all that does is restrict choice from both sides.
Would you be happy to be refused entry on the grounds that you're a single man in order to make an event nicer for other single guys? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"They don't sound like very well organised parties/events if they have a disproportionate number of single males to be honest.
Most I have attended have had much more men then women and couples. Part of me just expects it due to supply and demand. But I think if organiser's simply just stopped accepting male bookings after a certain point to keep the ratio balance then they would lead to much more enjoyable experiences.
More enjoyable in what way?
I think it would be a much more relaxed and less competitive atmosphere. Less people left out. That's my opinion anyway.
Oh ok.
We used to go to an organised social that had no limits single men. It (from our point of view) was very successful and anecdotally from the single men's too. We viewed it as a chance to make connections for the future. We used to go to Eurekas in the day and single men were by far in the majority. They tended to become one sort of group, appearing as if by magic at the slightest hint of any sexual activity. I don't think restricting numbers is the answer though, all that does is restrict choice from both sides.
Would you be happy to be refused entry on the grounds that you're a single man in order to make an event nicer for other single guys?"
Yes I would. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"They don't sound like very well organised parties/events if they have a disproportionate number of single males to be honest.
Most I have attended have had much more men then women and couples. Part of me just expects it due to supply and demand. But I think if organiser's simply just stopped accepting male bookings after a certain point to keep the ratio balance then they would lead to much more enjoyable experiences.
More enjoyable in what way?
I think it would be a much more relaxed and less competitive atmosphere. Less people left out. That's my opinion anyway.
Oh ok.
We used to go to an organised social that had no limits single men. It (from our point of view) was very successful and anecdotally from the single men's too. We viewed it as a chance to make connections for the future. We used to go to Eurekas in the day and single men were by far in the majority. They tended to become one sort of group, appearing as if by magic at the slightest hint of any sexual activity. I don't think restricting numbers is the answer though, all that does is restrict choice from both sides.
Would you be happy to be refused entry on the grounds that you're a single man in order to make an event nicer for other single guys?
Yes I would. "
So would I if having too many men causes issues for the ones there and makes for a better night. No one likes being left out.
I'd just try again at the next one. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Do you put a meet out on your profile and ask if anyone else is attending so you can at least interact beforehand? I've attended events on my own and have felt isolated now I look at the guest list and message potentials I'd like to say hello to and meet there even if its just a social it breaks the ice.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Do you put a meet out on your profile and ask if anyone else is attending so you can at least interact beforehand? I've attended events on my own and have felt isolated now I look at the guest list and message potentials I'd like to say hello to and meet there even if its just a social it breaks the ice. "
Don't know why I haven't done that. Good idea. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you put a meet out on your profile and ask if anyone else is attending so you can at least interact beforehand? I've attended events on my own and have felt isolated now I look at the guest list and message potentials I'd like to say hello to and meet there even if its just a social it breaks the ice.
Don't know why I haven't done that. Good idea."
Welcome and good luck xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"They don't sound like very well organised parties/events if they have a disproportionate number of single males to be honest.
Most I have attended have had much more men then women and couples. Part of me just expects it due to supply and demand. But I think if organiser's simply just stopped accepting male bookings after a certain point to keep the ratio balance then they would lead to much more enjoyable experiences.
More enjoyable in what way?
I think it would be a much more relaxed and less competitive atmosphere. Less people left out. That's my opinion anyway.
Oh ok.
We used to go to an organised social that had no limits single men. It (from our point of view) was very successful and anecdotally from the single men's too. We viewed it as a chance to make connections for the future. We used to go to Eurekas in the day and single men were by far in the majority. They tended to become one sort of group, appearing as if by magic at the slightest hint of any sexual activity. I don't think restricting numbers is the answer though, all that does is restrict choice from both sides.
Would you be happy to be refused entry on the grounds that you're a single man in order to make an event nicer for other single guys?
Yes I would. "
Ok. This is the way I look at it.
Neither of us find having lots of single guys at an event a problem. It's nice to have a lot of different people to interact with regardless of gender. Also I'm not keen on my choice of who I mix with being limited although I do acknowledge
that it's always limited in one way or another even if it's by fire regulations or whatever letter in the Greek alphabet we're on at the time.
I suppose there's no situation where everyone's happy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Do you put a meet out on your profile and ask if anyone else is attending so you can at least interact beforehand? I've attended events on my own and have felt isolated now I look at the guest list and message potentials I'd like to say hello to and meet there even if its just a social it breaks the ice. "
I listed up a ‘Club meet’ on my profile for Club Play from last Monday, for Friday just gone. I only received one message about an hour before the place opened at 8pm, and I did meet them inside, had a chat, but there was no chemistry on either side. As far as being a single guy in a club goes, if you’re not in a clique, you really do have to choose the event you attend, especially if there’s a guest list. Put your name down early if it’s limited single guy numbers, with the option of dropping out last minute if the list isn’t looking ‘favourable’ |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Do you put a meet out on your profile and ask if anyone else is attending so you can at least interact beforehand? I've attended events on my own and have felt isolated now I look at the guest list and message potentials I'd like to say hello to and meet there even if its just a social it breaks the ice.
I listed up a ‘Club meet’ on my profile for Club Play from last Monday, for Friday just gone. I only received one message about an hour before the place opened at 8pm, and I did meet them inside, had a chat, but there was no chemistry on either side. As far as being a single guy in a club goes, if you’re not in a clique, you really do have to choose the event you attend, especially if there’s a guest list. Put your name down early if it’s limited single guy numbers, with the option of dropping out last minute if the list isn’t looking ‘favourable’ "
I guess I have to be more picky in the future. I haven't had any where you have the option to or see the guest list. I ask what the ratio is usually like but usually get a don't know or too early to tell in response. Quite a few you have to pay in advance to secure a booking with no refunds available either |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Do you put a meet out on your profile and ask if anyone else is attending so you can at least interact beforehand? I've attended events on my own and have felt isolated now I look at the guest list and message potentials I'd like to say hello to and meet there even if its just a social it breaks the ice.
I listed up a ‘Club meet’ on my profile for Club Play from last Monday, for Friday just gone. I only received one message about an hour before the place opened at 8pm, and I did meet them inside, had a chat, but there was no chemistry on either side. As far as being a single guy in a club goes, if you’re not in a clique, you really do have to choose the event you attend, especially if there’s a guest list. Put your name down early if it’s limited single guy numbers, with the option of dropping out last minute if the list isn’t looking ‘favourable’
I guess I have to be more picky in the future. I haven't had any where you have the option to or see the guest list. I ask what the ratio is usually like but usually get a don't know or too early to tell in response. Quite a few you have to pay in advance to secure a booking with no refunds available either"
Well of course they don't want to tell you or limit the number of single men then, as they want your money.
Plenty of events don't charge, or only charge a small deposit to cover their costs (bars usually have a minimum spend) if you drop out. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
As an example of what I think is s good social was UpTheBrum (which, for full disclosure, I ended up helping with even though I had nothing to do with it at the syart). It was totally free, had 34 couples, 19 men and 17 females.
I started a forum post to encourage chat, which then progressed to a Telegram group where many of us got to know each other and discovered who we wanted to chat with when at the social.
Some of us even ended up meeting at Chams the night before, which was brilliant.
The whole point of the social was to bring people together, that doesn't just have to be 'at' the social event, but be 'because' of it.
Almost a month on and the group is still alive, and many of us are still in contact and meet up. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"They don't sound like very well organised parties/events if they have a disproportionate number of single males to be honest.
Most I have attended have had much more men then women and couples. Part of me just expects it due to supply and demand. But I think if organiser's simply just stopped accepting male bookings after a certain point to keep the ratio balance then they would lead to much more enjoyable experiences. "
But do you think that having less single men is more likely to guarantee you sex?
Personally speaking I'd rather go without than sleep with someone just because there wasn't much choice  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Do you put a meet out on your profile and ask if anyone else is attending so you can at least interact beforehand? I've attended events on my own and have felt isolated now I look at the guest list and message potentials I'd like to say hello to and meet there even if its just a social it breaks the ice.
I listed up a ‘Club meet’ on my profile for Club Play from last Monday, for Friday just gone. I only received one message about an hour before the place opened at 8pm, and I did meet them inside, had a chat, but there was no chemistry on either side. As far as being a single guy in a club goes, if you’re not in a clique, you really do have to choose the event you attend, especially if there’s a guest list. Put your name down early if it’s limited single guy numbers, with the option of dropping out last minute if the list isn’t looking ‘favourable’
I guess I have to be more picky in the future. I haven't had any where you have the option to or see the guest list. I ask what the ratio is usually like but usually get a don't know or too early to tell in response. Quite a few you have to pay in advance to secure a booking with no refunds available either"
Avoid the clubs who won’t give you a straight, honest answer; at the end of the day, they will just want to pack the place with as many paying guests as possible (even more so these days).
Try messaging other single guys who have listed up club reviews, they will be more honest.
Also look out for the ‘click bait’ on event threads in the forum. You will get to recognise females who regularly post “Put my name down for this!” early on, then drop out last minute because “something came up”……. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *wifterMan
over a year ago
lancaster |
I would suggest you try other clubs as some suit better than others or other days/times. Dont go with too high expectations and make efforts to have a chat with other guys. Some will be interesting to talk to, others wont. I have found if you go a few times you gradually get recognised and recognise others. Sit in a place where others come and go eg around the bar to just have brief interactions. No one is going to come across to talk to you if you are sitting on your own in a corner. Look like you are enjoying yourself, not just hanging around for someone to have sex with. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *etsukaCouple
over a year ago
Leeds |
Hi,
I would suggest checking people's status on "local to me" or meets on the day or the day before you go and strike up a conversation with people who say they are going. If you are polite, worst that will happen is they ignore you. If you message a few people you might have people to talk to once you get there.
I personally prefer nights with single guys, I similar to other women won't approach usually though. I'll go to the bar on my own and maybe make eye contact, that's the time to make conversation with someone when they leave the group then you might get invited along to join the rest.
Similarly, at the clubs, stand at the bar. Make small talk with staff and people at the bar, changing rooms and when you are getting past. If you smoke, smoking room is a good place to strike up a conversation.Hot tub is a good place to strike up conversation too. Don't go and sit on one of the sofas to a corner looking glum, noone will approach you.
Most important thing to remember is most successful guys that get invited to play, have made a connection earlier on in the night. If you haven't spoken to anyone, get straight in your towels and wander the corridors like a zombie, you are not the most appealing prospect.
Hope this helps. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it would be a much more relaxed and less competitive atmosphere. Less people left out. That's my opinion anyway.
In other words you'd have a better chance of sex?"
Nothing wrong with that. I hardly think he's there to recite 16th century poetry. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it would be a much more relaxed and less competitive atmosphere. Less people left out. That's my opinion anyway.
In other words you'd have a better chance of sex?
Nothing wrong with that. I hardly think he's there to recite 16th century poetry. "
I’d be very interested in that, if he was  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think it would be a much more relaxed and less competitive atmosphere. Less people left out. That's my opinion anyway.
In other words you'd have a better chance of sex?"
I go in with low expectations. If I find someone I like and they like me then cool. I'm using them to network. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Try going to a social near to the club venue before hand so you will see people there that you already know.
Network, network, network "
Sounds like a good idea |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it would be a much more relaxed and less competitive atmosphere. Less people left out. That's my opinion anyway.
In other words you'd have a better chance of sex?
Nothing wrong with that. I hardly think he's there to recite 16th century poetry.
I’d be very interested in that, if he was "
Even as the sun with purple-colour'd face
Had ta'en his last leave of the weeping morn,
Rose-cheek'd Adonis hied him to the chase;
Hunting he loved, but love he laugh'd to scorn;
Sick-thoughted Venus makes amain unto him,
And like a bold-faced suitor 'gins to woo him.
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hi,
I would suggest checking people's status on "local to me" or meets on the day or the day before you go and strike up a conversation with people who say they are going. If you are polite, worst that will happen is they ignore you. If you message a few people you might have people to talk to once you get there.
I personally prefer nights with single guys, I similar to other women won't approach usually though. I'll go to the bar on my own and maybe make eye contact, that's the time to make conversation with someone when they leave the group then you might get invited along to join the rest.
Similarly, at the clubs, stand at the bar. Make small talk with staff and people at the bar, changing rooms and when you are getting past. If you smoke, smoking room is a good place to strike up a conversation.Hot tub is a good place to strike up conversation too. Don't go and sit on one of the sofas to a corner looking glum, noone will approach you.
Most important thing to remember is most successful guys that get invited to play, have made a connection earlier on in the night. If you haven't spoken to anyone, get straight in your towels and wander the corridors like a zombie, you are not the most appealing prospect.
Hope this helps."
These are excellent points! My one and only swingers club night did not get repeated because I felt pretty much ignored in the first part of the evenings, it felt like people are cold and hostile. Then a gaggle of men gathered around me and followed me in the dungeon which was just bizarre. I managed to shake them off and the evening was rescued my a House Dominant who offered an impact play session but I never wanted to repeat that hostile experience again. Also, it is not as if I stayed in one spot so I don't know why it was such a cold atmosphere.
Smaller and private mixed parties (mixed kink and swing) have been the best as they are very social, it is warm and pleasant, much easier to approach people naturally and get comfortable enough to play with.
I wish there were swinger social events local to me, so far I have not been successful in finding them because munches are my favourite way to meet friends, acquaintances and new people. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *redy81Man
over a year ago
London |
"I go in with low expectations. If I find someone I like and they like me then cool. I'm using them to network. "
My advice will go against those who say try to post on meets or find someone here you will talk to in the club. I don't say don't do these, there's nothing to lose, but I think they are not too effective.
You are from London, choose parties with limited single guys. OP4F's Saturday night, for example. They only let in 5 single men. Maybe you need to attend once in another event first to introduce yourself to the management for being selected for a Saturday later, I'm not sure. But then visit them on a Friday, tell them that you would be interested in Saturday parties, and if they see that you are genuine, you will get the access. That is a great party.
LB's Friday night is another good choice, a bit more men, but plenty of couples.
For those who say too many single men is not an issue: maybe not for the greedy girls, or for men who are up for Bukakke parties. But for the majority of us and for most couples those nights are not that good. An attractive girl and her partner will be approached literally every second minute and even if it always happens in a polite way, it's overwhelming after a while. Not to mention the constant stalking from the wanking dead... It can make couples switch to a more rejective mood in general. While, if the number of men is maximum 10-15% higher than women this won't be a problem. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *not69Man
over a year ago
Lancashire |
"Most events around here have a very limited number of single guys so like someone else said those events you are going to doesn't sound well organized or maybe they just want to maximise profits. Get in touch with your local organisers, they will help introduce you to folks in the inner circle lol
One tip based on personal experience, do not hang around in groups with other single guys, it is very intimidating and one bad apple can ruin it for all, you will be better off being on your own looking like billy no mates.
Being on my own looking like Billy no mates didn’t help me on Friday night in Club Play, but it wasn’t the busiest of nights either. I take your point about looking intimidating as a group of guys though "
Personally I find _lub play to be one of, if not the most friendly club I've been to and the reason I've become a regular even though there are 3 clubs that are closer to me. There used to be 5 before lockdown but 2 have closed.
I dont go looking for fun, fun is always a bonus. I go to make friends first and foremost. The more you go the more friends you make the more chance you have to have fun. When I first started going to _lub play I knew only a couple of people but since then I've made lots of friends and had lots of fun.
As a single guy its very difficult as there are bad ones that have us all painted with the same brush. You have to show your personality more than your cock so that means lots of effort chatting to people, being sociable, and making friends. The more you put in, the more you get out.
Even if you don't smoke, one of the easiest ways of meeting people is in the smoking area when there are a few people in there, just join in with the banter.
I hope that helps |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Most events around here have a very limited number of single guys so like someone else said those events you are going to doesn't sound well organized or maybe they just want to maximise profits. Get in touch with your local organisers, they will help introduce you to folks in the inner circle lol
One tip based on personal experience, do not hang around in groups with other single guys, it is very intimidating and one bad apple can ruin it for all, you will be better off being on your own looking like billy no mates.
Being on my own looking like Billy no mates didn’t help me on Friday night in Club Play, but it wasn’t the busiest of nights either. I take your point about looking intimidating as a group of guys though "
I thought it a decent night with good numbers. Did you attempt to talk to anyone? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *lub playCouple
over a year ago
Blackpool, At The Crack Of Dawn!! |
"Most events around here have a very limited number of single guys so like someone else said those events you are going to doesn't sound well organized or maybe they just want to maximise profits. Get in touch with your local organisers, they will help introduce you to folks in the inner circle lol
One tip based on personal experience, do not hang around in groups with other single guys, it is very intimidating and one bad apple can ruin it for all, you will be better off being on your own looking like billy no mates.
Being on my own looking like Billy no mates didn’t help me on Friday night in Club Play, but it wasn’t the busiest of nights either. I take your point about looking intimidating as a group of guys though
Personally I find _lub play to be one of, if not the most friendly club I've been to and the reason I've become a regular even though there are 3 clubs that are closer to me. There used to be 5 before lockdown but 2 have closed.
I dont go looking for fun, fun is always a bonus. I go to make friends first and foremost. The more you go the more friends you make the more chance you have to have fun. When I first started going to _lub play I knew only a couple of people but since then I've made lots of friends and had lots of fun.
As a single guy its very difficult as there are bad ones that have us all painted with the same brush. You have to show your personality more than your cock so that means lots of effort chatting to people, being sociable, and making friends. The more you put in, the more you get out.
Even if you don't smoke, one of the easiest ways of meeting people is in the smoking area when there are a few people in there, just join in with the banter.
I hope that helps"
Last Friday was Dawn's (the female part owner of _lub plays) Birthday party at our club with more women attending the club than men as a total  with a wet Tshirt competition with 11 women alone taking part in the competition, we had a wet boxer competition with only 3 male entries. Fridays & Saturday nights numbers where effected by covid19 like every other club in the UK but we still managed to get 25 club reviews on fab more than double any other club in the Northwest so a hell of a lot better than many others even in these conditions.
As for not being in a click in any club we find a completely false argument because every club has regulars that attend every weekend and know a lot of people & that goes for some single guys.
We find the more single guys try to interact with people and put into there visit the more they gain, if not on that visit but later ones building a rapour with people is the best way.
There is one last thing no one dare say here and thats you may simply not have clicked with anyone on any given visit. We always tell people to come with no expectations that to have a good time & try and enjoy themselves x
We will add as a couple that runs a swinger club thats been there every night since reopening for 18 weeks we have only played twice and even find it hard to find the right people to play with but we always manage to have a good night   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Most events around here have a very limited number of single guys so like someone else said those events you are going to doesn't sound well organized or maybe they just want to maximise profits. Get in touch with your local organisers, they will help introduce you to folks in the inner circle lol
One tip based on personal experience, do not hang around in groups with other single guys, it is very intimidating and one bad apple can ruin it for all, you will be better off being on your own looking like billy no mates.
Being on my own looking like Billy no mates didn’t help me on Friday night in Club Play, but it wasn’t the busiest of nights either. I take your point about looking intimidating as a group of guys though
I thought it a decent night with good numbers. Did you attempt to talk to anyone? "
Yes, I chatted with people, I just didn’t get a decent craic going with anyone. I left at 10:45, after being in since 8 o’clock. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *lub playCouple
over a year ago
Blackpool, At The Crack Of Dawn!! |
"Most events around here have a very limited number of single guys so like someone else said those events you are going to doesn't sound well organized or maybe they just want to maximise profits. Get in touch with your local organisers, they will help introduce you to folks in the inner circle lol
One tip based on personal experience, do not hang around in groups with other single guys, it is very intimidating and one bad apple can ruin it for all, you will be better off being on your own looking like billy no mates.
Being on my own looking like Billy no mates didn’t help me on Friday night in Club Play, but it wasn’t the busiest of nights either. I take your point about looking intimidating as a group of guys though
I thought it a decent night with good numbers. Did you attempt to talk to anyone?
Yes, I chatted with people, I just didn’t get a decent craic going with anyone. I left at 10:45, after being in since 8 o’clock."
Thats very eatly to arrive & leave with our last entry at 1am. Think we started the wet Tshirt competition around that time and people were still arriving. On a Friday we find people drip in and some come later than earlier maybe after a drink or meal in Blackpool town centre. Dress down seems to naturally occur around 10.30pm - 11.30pm & most are upstairs by midnight so leaving at 10.30pm ish probably not going to help the situation or your chances.
We are really sorry you didn't click with anyone but like we said our approach is to come to our club to have a good time with no expectations and if anything else happens, great & if not you will still have a cracking night |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"Most events around here have a very limited number of single guys so like someone else said those events you are going to doesn't sound well organized or maybe they just want to maximise profits. Get in touch with your local organisers, they will help introduce you to folks in the inner circle lol
One tip based on personal experience, do not hang around in groups with other single guys, it is very intimidating and one bad apple can ruin it for all, you will be better off being on your own looking like billy no mates.
Being on my own looking like Billy no mates didn’t help me on Friday night in Club Play, but it wasn’t the busiest of nights either. I take your point about looking intimidating as a group of guys though
I thought it a decent night with good numbers. Did you attempt to talk to anyone?
Yes, I chatted with people, I just didn’t get a decent craic going with anyone. I left at 10:45, after being in since 8 o’clock."
That’s very early to leave a club. Some people don’t arrive till much later. But you can’t always get lucky even on a busy night |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Honestly just keep trying, as a couple we’re far mor likely to select people to play with if they’ve been chatty. Have a quick intro in your head that’s kinda non sexual. If they ask about sexy stuff, you can escalate. Make sure you chat to both parts of the couple. Chances are you’ll have a common interest and be able to find something to chat about.
Don’t monopolise their time and make sure you end the conversation before it becomes awkward! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
Fancy dress. This is a sure fire way of: standing out from the crowd, hiding your inner demons, displaying your tastes and personality and most importantly the excuse just to say "'Scuse me, I love your outfit". Random genuine and appropriate compliments are always welcome , especially when they have put a lot of effort in.
I said something similar at my last party and ended up getting an extra special cuddle, there and then.
This does wonders for a blokes fragile ego. Confidence is sexy and works wonders.
I love fancy dress! Never lets me down.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Fancy dress. This is a sure fire way of: standing out from the crowd, hiding your inner demons, displaying your tastes and personality and most importantly the excuse just to say "'Scuse me, I love your outfit". Random genuine and appropriate compliments are always welcome , especially when they have put a lot of effort in.
I said something similar at my last party and ended up getting an extra special cuddle, there and then.
This does wonders for a blokes fragile ego. Confidence is sexy and works wonders.
I love fancy dress! Never lets me down.
"
Definitely put effort into your appearance, maybe wear a hat, or braces or a suit? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Most events around here have a very limited number of single guys so like someone else said those events you are going to doesn't sound well organized or maybe they just want to maximise profits. Get in touch with your local organisers, they will help introduce you to folks in the inner circle lol
One tip based on personal experience, do not hang around in groups with other single guys, it is very intimidating and one bad apple can ruin it for all, you will be better off being on your own looking like billy no mates.
Being on my own looking like Billy no mates didn’t help me on Friday night in Club Play, but it wasn’t the busiest of nights either. I take your point about looking intimidating as a group of guys though
I thought it a decent night with good numbers. Did you attempt to talk to anyone?
Yes, I chatted with people, I just didn’t get a decent craic going with anyone. I left at 10:45, after being in since 8 o’clock."
We’ve been to ClubPlay a few times and we don’t usually turn up until after 10pm. Next time wait it out a bit and you might have more fun as more people turn up. If you’re chatting to multiple people and getting nowhere maybe try a different approach. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Fancy dress. This is a sure fire way of: standing out from the crowd, hiding your inner demons, displaying your tastes and personality and most importantly the excuse just to say "'Scuse me, I love your outfit". Random genuine and appropriate compliments are always welcome , especially when they have put a lot of effort in.
I said something similar at my last party and ended up getting an extra special cuddle, there and then.
This does wonders for a blokes fragile ego. Confidence is sexy and works wonders.
I love fancy dress! Never lets me down.
Definitely put effort into your appearance, maybe wear a hat, or braces or a suit? "
I actually chose a red jumper to try to stand out |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Most events around here have a very limited number of single guys so like someone else said those events you are going to doesn't sound well organized or maybe they just want to maximise profits. Get in touch with your local organisers, they will help introduce you to folks in the inner circle lol
One tip based on personal experience, do not hang around in groups with other single guys, it is very intimidating and one bad apple can ruin it for all, you will be better off being on your own looking like billy no mates.
Being on my own looking like Billy no mates didn’t help me on Friday night in Club Play, but it wasn’t the busiest of nights either. I take your point about looking intimidating as a group of guys though
I thought it a decent night with good numbers. Did you attempt to talk to anyone?
Yes, I chatted with people, I just didn’t get a decent craic going with anyone. I left at 10:45, after being in since 8 o’clock.
Thats very eatly to arrive & leave with our last entry at 1am. Think we started the wet Tshirt competition around that time and people were still arriving. On a Friday we find people drip in and some come later than earlier maybe after a drink or meal in Blackpool town centre. Dress down seems to naturally occur around 10.30pm - 11.30pm & most are upstairs by midnight so leaving at 10.30pm ish probably not going to help the situation or your chances.
We are really sorry you didn't click with anyone but like we said our approach is to come to our club to have a good time with no expectations and if anything else happens, great & if not you will still have a cracking night "
I had been advised to get in early on, with it being my first visit there, to get a tour and potentially introduced to some regulars. Although I did chat with some people, it was slow going, and I still felt excluded being on my own, so yes, I left as you were gearing up for the wet t-shirt competition. Perhaps one of your newbies events would have been better for a first time visit? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
"They don't sound like very well organised parties/events if they have a disproportionate number of single males to be honest."
These places always have a high number of single guys.
This is because they let women in for free or for a huge discount and couples are with a huge discount too. They rely on single males paying up to £100 or more to make up the shortfall and keep themselves going.
Unless I arrange to meet someone at a club, even if it is just socially i won't go to them, to avoid the same disappointment.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have been to a few events/parties over the past couple of months, this post isn't about one in particular.
I have found it difficult to break into the scene and make new connections. Most of them have had quite a lot more men than women and couples which I expect anyway but I have still managed to meet a wide range of people from all over from these parties and events.
I don't know if I am expecting too much from these but I end up finding them very awkward further into the night, 90% of interaction (I'm not talking about playing together) is from people who already knew each other which is understandable and 100% okay but then I find left just kind of wondering about along with other single men for the rest of the evening who obviously aren't too interested in talking with one another.
I do not rely on the site directly to meet people as I thought events and parties would be a much better way. I don't attend them with high expectations to avoid disappointment but I don't feel as though as I am getting the most out of them. Does anyone have any advice? "
Have you tried a Greedy Girls night? In my experience, when I was first getting involved in the clubs they were the way to go. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *S2004Man
over a year ago
Bromsgrove |
"They don't sound like very well organised parties/events if they have a disproportionate number of single males to be honest.
Most I have attended have had much more men then women and couples. Part of me just expects it due to supply and demand. But I think if organiser's simply just stopped accepting male bookings after a certain point to keep the ratio balance then they would lead to much more enjoyable experiences.
More enjoyable in what way?
I think it would be a much more relaxed and less competitive atmosphere. Less people left out. That's my opinion anyway.
Oh ok.
We used to go to an organised social that had no limits single men. It (from our point of view) was very successful and anecdotally from the single men's too. We viewed it as a chance to make connections for the future. We used to go to Eurekas in the day and single men were by far in the majority. They tended to become one sort of group, appearing as if by magic at the slightest hint of any sexual activity. I don't think restricting numbers is the answer though, all that does is restrict choice from both sides.
Would you be happy to be refused entry on the grounds that you're a single man in order to make an event nicer for other single guys?"
Absolutely, the success of any event is ensuring all participants have fun, if that means placing limits in place so be it. Much rather not go due to these limits than go and not have a good time |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"They don't sound like very well organised parties/events if they have a disproportionate number of single males to be honest.
These places always have a high number of single guys.
This is because they let women in for free or for a huge discount and couples are with a huge discount too. They rely on single males paying up to £100 or more to make up the shortfall and keep themselves going.
Unless I arrange to meet someone at a club, even if it is just socially i won't go to them, to avoid the same disappointment.
"
To be fair, I paid £25 entry on Friday night, no membership required (unlike the other Blackpool club), couples were £25 also, and £10 for solo females. Probably the fairest priced club I’ve been to |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *lub playCouple
over a year ago
Blackpool, At The Crack Of Dawn!! |
"They don't sound like very well organised parties/events if they have a disproportionate number of single males to be honest.
These places always have a high number of single guys.
This is because they let women in for free or for a huge discount and couples are with a huge discount too. They rely on single males paying up to £100 or more to make up the shortfall and keep themselves going.
Unless I arrange to meet someone at a club, even if it is just socially i won't go to them, to avoid the same disappointment.
To be fair, I paid £25 entry on Friday night, no membership required (unlike the other Blackpool club), couples were £25 also, and £10 for solo females. Probably the fairest priced club I’ve been to "
This is correct we do not charge a membership fee for anyone including single men & price male entrance the same as couples.
Although we do limit single guys numbers on specific events & not on others by using guest lists xxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have been to a few events/parties over the past couple of months, this post isn't about one in particular.
I have found it difficult to break into the scene and make new connections. Most of them have had quite a lot more men than women and couples which I expect anyway but I have still managed to meet a wide range of people from all over from these parties and events.
I don't know if I am expecting too much from these but I end up finding them very awkward further into the night, 90% of interaction (I'm not talking about playing together) is from people who already knew each other which is understandable and 100% okay but then I find left just kind of wondering about along with other single men for the rest of the evening who obviously aren't too interested in talking with one another.
I do not rely on the site directly to meet people as I thought events and parties would be a much better way. I don't attend them with high expectations to avoid disappointment but I don't feel as though as I am getting the most out of them. Does anyone have any advice?
Have you tried a Greedy Girls night? In my experience, when I was first getting involved in the clubs they were the way to go."
I haven't tried a greedy girls club night. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"They don't sound like very well organised parties/events if they have a disproportionate number of single males to be honest.
Most I have attended have had much more men then women and couples. Part of me just expects it due to supply and demand. But I think if organiser's simply just stopped accepting male bookings after a certain point to keep the ratio balance then they would lead to much more enjoyable experiences.
More enjoyable in what way?
I think it would be a much more relaxed and less competitive atmosphere. Less people left out. That's my opinion anyway.
Oh ok.
We used to go to an organised social that had no limits single men. It (from our point of view) was very successful and anecdotally from the single men's too. We viewed it as a chance to make connections for the future. We used to go to Eurekas in the day and single men were by far in the majority. They tended to become one sort of group, appearing as if by magic at the slightest hint of any sexual activity. I don't think restricting numbers is the answer though, all that does is restrict choice from both sides.
Would you be happy to be refused entry on the grounds that you're a single man in order to make an event nicer for other single guys?
Yes I would.
Ok. This is the way I look at it.
Neither of us find having lots of single guys at an event a problem. It's nice to have a lot of different people to interact with regardless of gender. Also I'm not keen on my choice of who I mix with being limited although I do acknowledge
that it's always limited in one way or another even if it's by fire regulations or whatever letter in the Greek alphabet we're on at the time.
I suppose there's no situation where everyone's happy "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"They don't sound like very well organised parties/events if they have a disproportionate number of single males to be honest.
Most I have attended have had much more men then women and couples. Part of me just expects it due to supply and demand. But I think if organiser's simply just stopped accepting male bookings after a certain point to keep the ratio balance then they would lead to much more enjoyable experiences.
More enjoyable in what way?
I think it would be a much more relaxed and less competitive atmosphere. Less people left out. That's my opinion anyway.
Oh ok.
We used to go to an organised social that had no limits single men. It (from our point of view) was very successful and anecdotally from the single men's too. We viewed it as a chance to make connections for the future. We used to go to Eurekas in the day and single men were by far in the majority. They tended to become one sort of group, appearing as if by magic at the slightest hint of any sexual activity. I don't think restricting numbers is the answer though, all that does is restrict choice from both sides.
Would you be happy to be refused entry on the grounds that you're a single man in order to make an event nicer for other single guys?
Yes I would.
Ok. This is the way I look at it.
Neither of us find having lots of single guys at an event a problem. It's nice to have a lot of different people to interact with regardless of gender. Also I'm not keen on my choice of who I mix with being limited although I do acknowledge
that it's always limited in one way or another even if it's by fire regulations or whatever letter in the Greek alphabet we're on at the time.
I suppose there's no situation where everyone's happy "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Just remember any club visit doesn’t guarantee any fun!"
I would argue that with the right attitude there is almost always fun to be had, albeit not always involving any sexual activity. I’ve had many a good time in pubs and clubs without a remote possibility of Percy filth raising his head |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As a couple that enjoy a single male joining us from time to time our advice would be to carry on smiling, having a dance and being as friendly as you can.
We are acutely aware of how difficult it is for the single guys and so we make an effort to chat with anyone.
Sometimes having chatted with someone that we like the look of we then feel that they won’t suit us but that’s life and hopefully no hard feelings.
Many couples enjoy the single guys attention of course and we are in a lucky position so single guys please don’t give up attending events!
Good luck going forward. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
For what it’s worth, I’d suggest simply attending with no expectations. And talk to people, all genders. I see so many guys only talk to females or couples and come up with pure slimy chat! Talking to everyone doesn’t mean your open to everyone. But it’s supposed to be a relaxing atmosphere, where people can chill, and if a female or couple take a direct interest and it’s reciprocal from you, then great.
Don’t be a wanking towel zombie! Or rush from area to area chasing couples or females. Or dive into the hot tub if a females in there! Act as you would normally, be genuine, be yourself. And above all be respectful!
But communication is key to any occasion and a club is by no means an exception.
Go along, enjoy, chill, relax and chat.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think it would be a much more relaxed and less competitive atmosphere. Less people left out. That's my opinion anyway.
In other words you'd have a better chance of sex?
Nothing wrong with that. I hardly think he's there to recite 16th century poetry.
I’d be very interested in that, if he was "
Anytime you'd like to discuss the metaphysical poets or Shakespeare, let me know. Reading the right excerpts from Shakespeare or Homer's Iliad or Odyssey can be a great aphrodisiac for some!!! "What, with my tongue in your tail"!! x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have been to a few events/parties over the past couple of months, this post isn't about one in particular.
I have found it difficult to break into the scene and make new connections. Most of them have had quite a lot more men than women and couples which I expect anyway but I have still managed to meet a wide range of people from all over from these parties and events.
I don't know if I am expecting too much from these but I end up finding them very awkward further into the night, 90% of interaction (I'm not talking about playing together) is from people who already knew each other which is understandable and 100% okay but then I find left just kind of wondering about along with other single men for the rest of the evening who obviously aren't too interested in talking with one another.
I do not rely on the site directly to meet people as I thought events and parties would be a much better way. I don't attend them with high expectations to avoid disappointment but I don't feel as though as I am getting the most out of them. Does anyone have any advice? "
my advice would be to get yourself a girlfriend and stop whining about the woes of being a single man . We are aware its hard for guys because you outnumber the couples by a mile and tbh lots of couples are not in the market for men looking for easy sex . No offence |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have been to a few events/parties over the past couple of months, this post isn't about one in particular.
I have found it difficult to break into the scene and make new connections. Most of them have had quite a lot more men than women and couples which I expect anyway but I have still managed to meet a wide range of people from all over from these parties and events.
I don't know if I am expecting too much from these but I end up finding them very awkward further into the night, 90% of interaction (I'm not talking about playing together) is from people who already knew each other which is understandable and 100% okay but then I find left just kind of wondering about along with other single men for the rest of the evening who obviously aren't too interested in talking with one another.
I do not rely on the site directly to meet people as I thought events and parties would be a much better way. I don't attend them with high expectations to avoid disappointment but I don't feel as though as I am getting the most out of them. Does anyone have any advice? my advice would be to get yourself a girlfriend and stop whining about the woes of being a single man . We are aware its hard for guys because you outnumber the couples by a mile and tbh lots of couples are not in the market for men looking for easy sex . No offence "
I been doing OK on here recently. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
I am.afraid this is the normal for Amy party or event especially clubs.
Single men are there to ensure these places make a profit. Couples and single women are heavily discounted or let in for free. We are charged double to make up the difference.
Couples and single women are there to meet specific people or arrange to meet men they know or invite at a club.
As a single make with no connections your chances are slim to none |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I am.afraid this is the normal for Amy party or event especially clubs.
Single men are there to ensure these places make a profit. Couples and single women are heavily discounted or let in for free. We are charged double to make up the difference.
Couples and single women are there to meet specific people or arrange to meet men they know or invite at a club.
As a single make with no connections your chances are slim to none "
What a load of rubbish lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I am.afraid this is the normal for Amy party or event especially clubs.
Single men are there to ensure these places make a profit. Couples and single women are heavily discounted or let in for free. We are charged double to make up the difference.
Couples and single women are there to meet specific people or arrange to meet men they know or invite at a club.
As a single make with no connections your chances are slim to none
What a load of rubbish lol "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *not69Man
over a year ago
Lancashire |
"I am.afraid this is the normal for Amy party or event especially clubs.
Single men are there to ensure these places make a profit. Couples and single women are heavily discounted or let in for free. We are charged double to make up the difference.
Couples and single women are there to meet specific people or arrange to meet men they know or invite at a club.
As a single make with no connections your chances are slim to none "
Its very very rare I use fab to meet new people. I only use it to keep up with what's happening at clubs and to keep in touch with people I meet there, and I meet lots of new people. I started out 8yrs ago with no connections at all and now I have over 260 veris so it is a load of rubbish that you have no chance with no connections. You make connections by attending regular |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am.afraid this is the normal for Amy party or event especially clubs.
Single men are there to ensure these places make a profit. Couples and single women are heavily discounted or let in for free. We are charged double to make up the difference.
Couples and single women are there to meet specific people or arrange to meet men they know or invite at a club.
As a single make with no connections your chances are slim to none "
We only look for single men and never prearrange any meets. We like to turn up on the night and see what happens. We’ve spoke to plenty of others that do the same so what you’ve said is completely untrue. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I am.afraid this is the normal for Amy party or event especially clubs.
Single men are there to ensure these places make a profit. Couples and single women are heavily discounted or let in for free. We are charged double to make up the difference.
Couples and single women are there to meet specific people or arrange to meet men they know or invite at a club.
As a single make with no connections your chances are slim to none "
I found it gets easier to meet and speak to people the more you go to. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *tew008Man
over a year ago
edinburgh |
"I have been to a few events/parties over the past couple of months, this post isn't about one in particular.
I have found it difficult to break into the scene and make new connections. Most of them have had quite a lot more men than women and couples which I expect anyway but I have still managed to meet a wide range of people from all over from these parties and events.
I don't know if I am expecting too much from these but I end up finding them very awkward further into the night, 90% of interaction (I'm not talking about playing together) is from people who already knew each other which is understandable and 100% okay but then I find left just kind of wondering about along with other single men for the rest of the evening who obviously aren't too interested in talking with one another.
I do not rely on the site directly to meet people as I thought events and parties would be a much better way. I don't attend them with high expectations to avoid disappointment but I don't feel as though as I am getting the most out of them. Does anyone have any advice? my advice would be to get yourself a girlfriend and stop whining about the woes of being a single man . We are aware its hard for guys because you outnumber the couples by a mile and tbh lots of couples are not in the market for men looking for easy sex . No offence "
Not experienced if they expect easy sex here |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
Go on your birthday, wear a birthday badge and pretend it's a "Congratulations/Happy Birthday" here's-a-kiss magnet. No promises, but some clubs even offer a bit of cake for your special day: even if it is a few days away. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"In other words you'd have a better chance of sex?
Nothing wrong with that. I hardly think he's there to recite 16th century poetry. "
I didn't say there was anything wrong with it.
Having sex as the main goal is more likely to end in 'failure'. than just going along to meet new people |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Put on your best smile and chat to as many people (of any sex) as you can as early into the event as you are able. Usually makes for a fun night (not always sexual) every time I pluck up the courage to do it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I am.afraid this is the normal for Amy party or event especially clubs.
Single men are there to ensure these places make a profit. Couples and single women are heavily discounted or let in for free. We are charged double to make up the difference.
Couples and single women are there to meet specific people or arrange to meet men they know or invite at a club.
As a single make with no connections your chances are slim to none
We only look for single men and never prearrange any meets. We like to turn up on the night and see what happens. We’ve spoke to plenty of others that do the same so what you’ve said is completely untrue. "
How exciting, particularly as you are only across the road from me xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am.afraid this is the normal for Amy party or event especially clubs.
Single men are there to ensure these places make a profit. Couples and single women are heavily discounted or let in for free. We are charged double to make up the difference.
Couples and single women are there to meet specific people or arrange to meet men they know or invite at a club.
As a single make with no connections your chances are slim to none
We only look for single men and never prearrange any meets. We like to turn up on the night and see what happens. We’ve spoke to plenty of others that do the same so what you’ve said is completely untrue.
How exciting, particularly as you are only across the road from me xx"
But which house?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
having limited men at parties n clubs wont make things better you are either wanted by someone or not i think its really just that simple many guy who go to clubs never get fun even some of those who go every week that just stand around and watch .... try talking to some one even if it is another guy get used to chatting then see where things lead but even clubs and parties will not guarantee any play ... sadly alot of guys think it will |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I am.afraid this is the normal for Amy party or event especially clubs.
Single men are there to ensure these places make a profit. Couples and single women are heavily discounted or let in for free. We are charged double to make up the difference.
Couples and single women are there to meet specific people or arrange to meet men they know or invite at a club.
As a single make with no connections your chances are slim to none
We only look for single men and never prearrange any meets. We like to turn up on the night and see what happens. We’ve spoke to plenty of others that do the same so what you’ve said is completely untrue.
How exciting, particularly as you are only across the road from me xx
But which house? "
I’ll get knocking, I’m sure to recognise your knockers |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It is really difficult for single guys and I wish clubs would be more open about their policies on how many single guys they let in. Frankly I think most single guys are wasting their time unless they have great chat, great bodies and great manners (2 out of 3 works sometimes). We occasionally approach single guys at clubs and events but 4 times out of 5 there is no chemistry. This is why, if we want group play like mmf or mmff, we approach other couples x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *DW1983Man
over a year ago
Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield |
I'm not always convinced that limiting single guys is the answer - if none of the women/couples there are interested in playing with me, it won't matter whether there are 5 or 50 other guys there.
Keeping at it and getting known is good advice. Just like anywhere, if people see you regularly they minght start saying hello, start chatting,... Even if it doesn't lead to play or they're not your type, it makes you look friendly and sociable - and approachable.
I'm not wholly convinced by the 'cliques' thing either. On the one hand, as a single guy its easy to look at groups of people and label them cliques but I think in many cases the perception is worse than the reality and in fact it's just a group of friends chatting. After all, that's why we're all there, to meet people, and its natural that you'll end up congragating with and chatting to people you know.
Not that that makes it any easier to find an 'in'. I've had nights at both swingers and fetish events where I've ended up chatting fairly easily to people, and others where I've just not been able to find any kind of 'in' and so felt very much like 'the lonely guy in the corner'.
You win some, you lose some. But at the end of the day, even at £30-35 for entry, drinks, etc, if I've enjoyed the sauna and jaccuzzi, been able to at least enjoy the atmosphere and people-watch, many people would spend that on a night out anyway. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Do you put a meet out on your profile and ask if anyone else is attending so you can at least interact beforehand? I've attended events on my own and have felt isolated now I look at the guest list and message potentials I'd like to say hello to and meet there even if its just a social it breaks the ice.
I listed up a ‘Club meet’ on my profile for Club Play from last Monday, for Friday just gone. I only received one message about an hour before the place opened at 8pm, and I did meet them inside, had a chat, but there was no chemistry on either side. As far as being a single guy in a club goes, if you’re not in a clique, you really do have to choose the event you attend, especially if there’s a guest list. Put your name down early if it’s limited single guy numbers, with the option of dropping out last minute if the list isn’t looking ‘favourable’ "
Hi we go to club to play If you what get noticed they have lots of parties, forums running.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I am.afraid this is the normal for Amy party or event especially clubs.
Single men are there to ensure these places make a profit. Couples and single women are heavily discounted or let in for free. We are charged double to make up the difference.
Couples and single women are there to meet specific people or arrange to meet men they know or invite at a club.
As a single make with no connections your chances are slim to none "
Bullshit m8. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Are you attending the same clubs/parties regularly to give people the opportunity to get to know you rather than it just being passing pleasantries
Connections can be spontaneous but can also take time
I probably shouldn't say this as you haven't asked for profile advice but sadly I think your age will put some off too as lots will have children of a similar age, again some will find your age a turn on but I think they'll be in the minority unfortunately
Hope you find what you are looking for soon |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *Booboo-Man
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"Fancy dress. This is a sure fire way of: standing out from the crowd, hiding your inner demons, displaying your tastes and personality and most importantly the excuse just to say "'Scuse me, I love your outfit".
I love fancy dress! Never lets me down.
"
Hmmm
Might wear my kilt to my first one. (True Scotsman of course).
Should start the conversation going. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"Fancy dress. This is a sure fire way of: standing out from the crowd, hiding your inner demons, displaying your tastes and personality and most importantly the excuse just to say "'Scuse me, I love your outfit".
I love fancy dress! Never lets me down.
Hmmm
Might wear my kilt to my first one. (True Scotsman of course).
Should start the conversation going."
It will!
My Mum's mum was Scottish and my mum had a Scottish surname, so technically that's one Scottish clan I have ties with. I also have similar Irish ancestry too on my dad's side, so let's not forget about Irish clan historical rights too.
The New Yorkers don't.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *Booboo-Man
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"Fancy dress. This is a sure fire way of: standing out from the crowd, hiding your inner demons, displaying your tastes and personality and most importantly the excuse just to say "'Scuse me, I love your outfit".
I love fancy dress! Never lets me down.
Hmmm
Might wear my kilt to my first one. (True Scotsman of course).
Should start the conversation going.
It will!
My Mum's mum was Scottish and my mum had a Scottish surname, so technically that's one Scottish clan I have ties with. I also have similar Irish ancestry too on my dad's side, so let's not forget about Irish clan historical rights too.
The New Yorkers don't.
"
Even in Edinburgh a kilt will draw attention from local people so it should do the same in a club. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
There have been varied responses and suggestions to this continued problem, but J can see it from all angles.
I used to be the perpetual wallflower at parties & social gatherings, and I suspect, that for many guys trying to get ahead at clubs and Socials these days, that "how do I mix?" question prevails!!
It makes a heck of a difference if a single Male DOES engage with others in the venue; that enthusiasm does pay dividends with potential interaction later.
But the problem lies with some clubs and venues, where unfortunately some existing club members have their favourites with whom to liaise - yes, a Clique! I've heard Club Management state "we don't have cliques here!" but they do!
That Clique style is very hard to crack open and can be very disheartening for Single Males to make any headway.
Also, some clubs don't balance the number of Lone Males, but go for maximum revenue by allowing entry to multiple numbers. This can become counter-productive and serves no purpose.
But I tend to put up a Meet notice that I'm attending a specific club on a given date, and invite others to introduce themselves either before or once I've arrived at the venue. It does work.
To single guys, it's the same as it is with your profile issues. You have to make the effort to achieve results, whether in the profile or at a venue.
But in some respects too, clubs and existing customers too have a part to play in welcoming others.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Only speaking from personal experience here now. My first visit to a club was instigated by a lady I'd met from a 'normal' dating site.since then I've been a number of times over the years but never had the courage to go alone always preferring to take a lady companion. I did arrange to meet a lady for the first time once but when we actually met we just didn't 'gell' But such is life? I always now much prefer to get to know a prospective playmate now using a slow approach. Mails, text and phone conversation.... This seems to work much better And although I never have any expectations from a first social I've been lucky enough to meet some amazing ladies and had a lot of fun over the years.
Take it all with a pinch of salt and never have any expectations? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"They don't sound like very well organised parties/events if they have a disproportionate number of single males to be honest.
Most I have attended have had much more men then women and couples. Part of me just expects it due to supply and demand. But I think if organiser's simply just stopped accepting male bookings after a certain point to keep the ratio balance then they would lead to much more enjoyable experiences.
More enjoyable in what way?
I think it would be a much more relaxed and less competitive atmosphere. Less people left out. That's my opinion anyway."
It's not a competition people and I don't see why anyone would think it is .People will either want to interact with you or not. And anyone seeing it's as competitive would immediately put me off them.
Less men at it would not necessarily increase your chances anyhow its more about attitude and how you come across. I know I'm shy and I don't like being somewhere where I don't know anyone and it can make me look like I'm unapproachable but it's more I'd be too shy to approach others. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Do you put a meet out on your profile and ask if anyone else is attending so you can at least interact beforehand? I've attended events on my own and have felt isolated now I look at the guest list and message potentials I'd like to say hello to and meet there even if its just a social it breaks the ice.
I listed up a ‘Club meet’ on my profile for Club Play from last Monday, for Friday just gone. I only received one message about an hour before the place opened at 8pm, and I did meet them inside, had a chat, but there was no chemistry on either side. As far as being a single guy in a club goes, if you’re not in a clique, you really do have to choose the event you attend, especially if there’s a guest list. Put your name down early if it’s limited single guy numbers, with the option of dropping out last minute if the list isn’t looking ‘favourable’
Hi we go to club to play If you what get noticed they have lots of parties, forums running.
"
Hi, thanks for that. I did post on the 'Tinsel tits and dicks Part 2' forum thread, but again, wasn't fortunate enough to receive any interest. The club itself is nice, it just wasn't the night for me. I'll go with a female friend next time, as I know people are happy to approach couples, rather than single guys |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
