FabSwingers.com
 

FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Struggle for couples

Struggle for couples

Jump to: Newest in thread

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton

Hi all. I’m finding fab a real struggle recently for replies, let alone meets. For context I’ve been on the site for years and pre covid had plenty of chat. I’m wondering if it’s also couples struggling? ………obviously it could just be me!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It’s not just you , my personal opinion is since lockdown I found people used it as a game to mess people around or send abusive messages, so a lot just keep to our regular friends, so I don’t think it’s a specific group who are getting targeted it’s just general on the site now

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton

I’m sorry to hear that. Though I echo your sentiments. 2 years ago the site was great with good profiles, real people and a great return when you put effort into a message. Now it’s full of fakes and time waster’s sadly

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *exy4youxxWoman  over a year ago

Pontefract

[Removed by poster at 12/12/21 03:46:25]

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *exy4youxxWoman  over a year ago

Pontefract


"I’m sorry to hear that. Though I echo your sentiments. 2 years ago the site was great with good profiles, real people and a great return when you put effort into a message. Now it’s full of fakes and time waster’s sadly "

This is why we all seem to use clubs and social events to meet now no time wasters or fakes there x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *exysuzi and Mr.SCouple  over a year ago

CONISTON .Stoke Suburbia. Staffs. BARMOUTH. The Lakes (Monthly)


"Hi all. I’m finding fab a real struggle recently for replies, let alone meets. For context I’ve been on the site for years and pre covid had plenty of chat. I’m wondering if it’s also couples struggling? ………obviously it could just be me! "

It's not just you OP. Over the last 12 months the site has gone really downbank. We struggle too getting meets, so much so that we have given up trying on here now. We just rock up at clubs and go with the flow. We have joined another site to compare and do actually find that suits our needs better.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ewCoupleHXCouple  over a year ago

Halifax

Well we only joined a few months ago so have nothing to compare it to. We will say it has been mostly positive, talked to a lot of genuine folks and met a handful, yes plenty of time wasters too. We have kind of got a little network we see regularly and find word of mouth reference for anyone new works better. Finding a dynamic where all 4 or 6 or 8 like each other is the tricky bit.

The timewasters are usually the meet now, one liner sort of people, very easy to spot now.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *inja 636Man  over a year ago

Grays

To be fair single guys are way down the list i find being patient, polite and losing the bag of expectation a real winner if you feel OK attending a club I'd suggest that hope you find what your looking for enjoy mate

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don't know if it's covid related but I find there's more people looking for online/phone/picture swap than actually meeting in person these days.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ickedwillyCouple  over a year ago

Bangor

Yes we think everyone is nervous

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *toC Thats MeWoman  over a year ago

Sheffield


"

This is why we all seem to use clubs and social events to meet now no time wasters or fakes there x"

Same for me x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *blasiansCouple  over a year ago

Wakefield

Certainly much more challenging and than before not that it was every easy. We feel uncomfortable going to clubs locally so that option eludes us.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *sBlueWoman  over a year ago

Up North

It’s not easy for women either so for me it’s clubs

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *t8880Couple  over a year ago

Staffs

We are hoping to get back into clubs. We only get messages from single males on here.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *aucymessCouple  over a year ago

gorey

Went to a social lately and had males openly saying to us I had her and her and her. It was abit of turn off for us, did not expect that. We are into sharing experiences with other people not putting a notch in the bed post.

We have been told before we need permission from other people to play within their sex circle.

The scene has changed for us it seems to be different now.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton

I agree and I do love the club scene. Though I want this to be a good swinging site again. I love to look at who’s around and what they’re all about, meet for socials, and of course play once in a while. I suppose I’m just living in the past a little as things sadly sometimes change

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton

It’s really sad that it’s come to that as I truely thought this site was fantastic for swinging. Kind of a kinky Facebook. I’m looking at other sites myself but as yet I’ve not found one for me

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton

I’m really glad it’s working out for you on here. As you say you have nothing to compare it against, which is really good as you can’t be cynical like myself. Lol. It gives me hope that people are still having a positive time here

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton

Believe me I’m a very patient man. I agree with you on the clubs as I have a great time there and regularly attend. I’m glad you’re having a positive experience on here as well

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton

You could be right. I’ve definitely had an influx of pic show requests on kik. Which is great and all but I love the banter and build up of talking to people. I would like to say that I’m not a negative guy at all, though I feel that some of my comments here have portrayed me that way

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton

I’d not thought about people been nervous? You may well be right. I’ve personally been confident the last few years swinging. Though I was most definitely nervous initially

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton

Again I’m glad you’re finding what you’re looking for at clubs. I just would love this site to become less of a minefield, and more of a great social platform for all again

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton

That’s a shame that you cannot attend clubs locally. I personally tend to travel around a lot for meets or clubs. As I believe it’s worth the extra effort for the quality

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ewCoupleHXCouple  over a year ago

Halifax


"Went to a social lately and had males openly saying to us I had her and her and her. It was abit of turn off for us, did not expect that. We are into sharing experiences with other people not putting a notch in the bed post.

We have been told before we need permission from other people to play within their sex circle.

The scene has changed for us it seems to be different now."

Permission to share intimate details yes 100%, anyone who kisses and tell without consent puts us off but permission to play within sex circle...lol what's that all about. Unless you are running some kind of an exclusive circle, it doesn't make a lot of sense, all being adults here and all that but then again we are new so maybe no one told us lol

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton

Clubs are great and I love them. I just want this to be better again and not the minefield it is now

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton

That’s sad that you’re not getting messages from couples as well. You look a great couple so I’m amazed you’re only hearing from single guys…… I checked I wasn’t one of them! Lol

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton

I’ve been to loads of socials and to be fair most of the time you hear single guys saying that. I think a lot of it is bravado as I’m betting they’ve not done half of what they say they have. Either way though it doesn’t sound great if they’re openly talking about people as conquests.

That’s definitely not the social most would be looking for

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton

Permission to play within a circle sounds like a clique I wouldn’t want to be part of. I think respect is important though as a lot don’t want the kiss and tell heard. At the end of the day swinging is far better when there’s respect involved from all parties. Or at least that’s my opinion. I certainly don’t kiss and tell out of respect to others…… and so I don’t look a dickhead as well

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *aucymessCouple  over a year ago

gorey


"Permission to play within a circle sounds like a clique I wouldn’t want to be part of. I think respect is important though as a lot don’t want the kiss and tell heard. At the end of the day swinging is far better when there’s respect involved from all parties. Or at least that’s my opinion. I certainly don’t kiss and tell out of respect to others…… and so I don’t look a dickhead as well"

Well said!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *icentiousCouple  over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Why we only meet in clubs.

Once we develop a relationship, then we look at other options. (We have some great friends from the clubs).

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ewCoupleHXCouple  over a year ago

Halifax

Anyone who feels the need to brag is basically telling you they don't get any lol

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton

Lol. Agreed! It’s definitely all about bravado and look at me. It is funny though as them trying so hard to convince everyone else, just makes it all the more implausible

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *icentiousCouple  over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"Anyone who feels the need to brag is basically telling you they don't get any lol

"

That’s an odd projection lol.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *rit-gentMan  over a year ago

cannock

Oh fab used to be good it’s a waste off time now… it’s only any good to chatting to people you have met in clubs..

Such a shame

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I really hope the only way forward for meets will be visiting clubs, the nearest is 1.5 hours away and it's not practical for me to visit!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *imi_RougeWoman  over a year ago

Portsmouth

Maybe revamp your profile? Could possibly be the reason for not getting the response you want.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *revaunanceCouple  over a year ago

Exeter

Don't worry OP, you're not alone. Many people have found it harder to get meets from their online presence only, and COVID hasn't helped in any way shape or form.

All you can do is keep plugging away.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *he one 23Man  over a year ago

Sheffield

There comes a time when you get feed up with plugging away and i think i will not renew my subscription .

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *aucymessCouple  over a year ago

gorey


"There comes a time when you get feed up with plugging away and i think i will not renew my subscription . "

We are also considering not renewing our subscription.

Where we live you are considered privileged if you live on one side of the river.

So when someone local chats to us it is one of the first things that is asked.

What side of the river do you live on.

We did not realize we live on the 'privileged' side as we are not originally from the area.

So yes we are astonished that there is classism in this day and age.

Everything seems to be clicks and agreements it is all so difficult to navigate it is exhausting.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *itenDaysCouple  over a year ago

Vale of Glamorgan


"

This is why we all seem to use clubs and social events to meet now no time wasters or fakes there x "

Same for us as we just find the site hard work, we find that club visits and social events are the way forward now. x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton

I’m with you on that mate!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton

I feel for you. I’m lucky that I have several clubs nearby so can get to one easily enough

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton


"Maybe revamp your profile? Could possibly be the reason for not getting the response you want."

You could well be right. I’m certainly open to advice on how I can improve it

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton


"Don't worry OP, you're not alone. Many people have found it harder to get meets from their online presence only, and COVID hasn't helped in any way shape or form.

All you can do is keep plugging away."

I will certainly keep plugging away. It’s just a shame it doesn’t seem so positive on here anymore

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton


"There comes a time when you get feed up with plugging away and i think i will not renew my subscription . "

I can’t blame you and I do echo the sentiment. I’m actively looking at different options site wise, though have to admit I’ve not found anything as yet

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton


"

This is why we all seem to use clubs and social events to meet now no time wasters or fakes there x

Same for us as we just find the site hard work, we find that club visits and social events are the way forward now. x"

It’s sad isn’t it as this site used to be fantastic. I really do hope it comes good again but I’m not sure it will in the near future

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *implynaughty1Couple  over a year ago

stockport

We are all in the same boat not easy at the moment x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We really struggle for sure . Okay we haven’t been on the site so long but trying to get together with another couple is proving to be very difficult for a multitude of different reasons. The trait we see most often is a couple being as keen as you like one day and then the next day all interest has cooled for some reason . So whilst not giving up on that and still being optimistic we are tending to favour the club scene a little more at the moment. Turn up . Pay your entrance fee and have a great night ……well usually

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton


"We are all in the same boat not easy at the moment x "

It’s pretty sad isn’t it. I’m hoping you can at least get out to clubs to meet people. I have to say that during this thread I’ve spoken to more genuine people than I have in months on here

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton


"We really struggle for sure . Okay we haven’t been on the site so long but trying to get together with another couple is proving to be very difficult for a multitude of different reasons. The trait we see most often is a couple being as keen as you like one day and then the next day all interest has cooled for some reason . So whilst not giving up on that and still being optimistic we are tending to favour the club scene a little more at the moment. Turn up . Pay your entrance fee and have a great night ……well usually "

That’s a shame that people are hot one day and then not the next. I mean readings great but not that kind. It’s good you can get out to clubs though to socialise and connect with others

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *den-Valley-coupleCouple  over a year ago

Cumbria


"I’m sorry to hear that. Though I echo your sentiments. 2 years ago the site was great with good profiles, real people and a great return when you put effort into a message. Now it’s full of fakes and time waster’s sadly "

Not sure where you get your information from but it exactly the same.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton


"I’m sorry to hear that. Though I echo your sentiments. 2 years ago the site was great with good profiles, real people and a great return when you put effort into a message. Now it’s full of fakes and time waster’s sadly

Not sure where you get your information from but it exactly the same."

Everyone has different experiences and those are mine.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *den-Valley-coupleCouple  over a year ago

Cumbria


"I’m sorry to hear that. Though I echo your sentiments. 2 years ago the site was great with good profiles, real people and a great return when you put effort into a message. Now it’s full of fakes and time waster’s sadly

Not sure where you get your information from but it exactly the same.

Everyone has different experiences and those are mine. "

So protection not fact.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton


"I’m sorry to hear that. Though I echo your sentiments. 2 years ago the site was great with good profiles, real people and a great return when you put effort into a message. Now it’s full of fakes and time waster’s sadly

Not sure where you get your information from but it exactly the same.

Everyone has different experiences and those are mine.

So protection not fact. "

Protection not fact?? Think you need to check your grammar!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *aomilatteCouple  over a year ago

Midlands

We don't "struggle", we're very choosy who we reply to though so don't have too many message exchanges. We go to clubs and meet real people. Even then some say "we'll come say hi in the club", but actually they don't.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *uckslut and MCouple  over a year ago

Poole

We're finding it challenging. We put a meet up for 'meet at yours, for a set time on a set day'.

We had offers for, car meets, clubs, differant days, times ect.

Surly if we're offering a set day/time/place. Why would we accept something totally differant?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *appytoadsCouple  over a year ago

West Dublin

We are on the site years and swinging a few years also. but we totally agree its extremely difficult to get a chance to play or meet up with any couple since covid started. Hopefully maybe 2022 people will begin to relax and let the good times begin again.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton


"We're finding it challenging. We put a meet up for 'meet at yours, for a set time on a set day'.

We had offers for, car meets, clubs, differant days, times ect.

Surly if we're offering a set day/time/place. Why would we accept something totally differant?

"

It’s tough as a lot of people just want it their own way. I’m hoping you find some genuine people to play with though who can meet as and when you wish them too.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton


"We don't "struggle", we're very choosy who we reply to though so don't have too many message exchanges. We go to clubs and meet real people. Even then some say "we'll come say hi in the club", but actually they don't."

I’m glad it’s working well for you both on here. I agree real people in clubs is great for meets and I do that myself. Though I also enjoy meeting people outside of clubs socially or more. It just seems rather more difficult now than it used to be. Though I’m very aware that could be just me

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *orl1971Couple  over a year ago

Glasgow

We struggled a lot before lockdowns. We don’t do clubs for discretion reasons.

We have found recently that we have met more good, like minded, couples recently than ever before. Maybe we’ve just got lucky but it’s been a pleasant surprise.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *hris 62Man  over a year ago

HEREFORD


"Hi all. I’m finding fab a real struggle recently for replies, let alone meets. For context I’ve been on the site for years and pre covid had plenty of chat. I’m wondering if it’s also couples struggling? ………obviously it could just be me! "

As older age ranger been on and off for years single and couple, it's very hard to find meet lit of chat, now going to club

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *rcadian110Couple  over a year ago

Barnsley

The problem is that the idiots outnumber the decent guys and make it really hard for the good ones to stand out. We have had to block single guys as we we bombarded with crass and rude messages from pillocks who treat women like walking flashlights and wet wanks and definitely didn't read the profile. We have met some wonderful single guys that prove not everyone is like that but unfortunately the bad ones ruin it for the good guys. Wish there was a way to vet them, like a sort by positive feedback but I think that would be too complex to implement and would still have the same issue for new guys

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We've been on and off this site for the last 2-3 years, obviously not just on this profile.

Personally i think covid has enticed way more single guys to sign up here than before. Guys have always massively outnumbered couples and females, now even more so.

So disappointment is part

and parcel I'm afraid.

I think this should be a paid membership only site. Hopefully thst would help out alot of the time wasters. And photo verification should be mandatory.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton


"We struggled a lot before lockdowns. We don’t do clubs for discretion reasons.

We have found recently that we have met more good, like minded, couples recently than ever before. Maybe we’ve just got lucky but it’s been a pleasant surprise. "

I’m glad you’ve got your pleasant surprise. It’s good to hear the sites working for people

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton


"We've been on and off this site for the last 2-3 years, obviously not just on this profile.

Personally i think covid has enticed way more single guys to sign up here than before. Guys have always massively outnumbered couples and females, now even more so.

So disappointment is part

and parcel I'm afraid.

I think this should be a paid membership only site. Hopefully thst would help out alot of the time wasters. And photo verification should be mandatory. "

I like that idea! Proper paid membership would definitely get rid of a good number of dreamers, and time wasters.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton


"The problem is that the idiots outnumber the decent guys and make it really hard for the good ones to stand out. We have had to block single guys as we we bombarded with crass and rude messages from pillocks who treat women like walking flashlights and wet wanks and definitely didn't read the profile. We have met some wonderful single guys that prove not everyone is like that but unfortunately the bad ones ruin it for the good guys. Wish there was a way to vet them, like a sort by positive feedback but I think that would be too complex to implement and would still have the same issue for new guys "

It’s not the first time I’ve heard that said. I agree that the bad ones ruin it for us genuine ones. The problem is I don’t see a way around the problem. It starts with the genuine single guys leaving as they’re fed up. Then couples looking for singles will leave. I know people can find what they want at clubs, but it would be sad to see the site decline further

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *iberatedduoCouple  over a year ago

Ashbourne


"We've been on and off this site for the last 2-3 years, obviously not just on this profile.

Personally i think covid has enticed way more single guys to sign up here than before. Guys have always massively outnumbered couples and females, now even more so.

So disappointment is part

and parcel I'm afraid.

I think this should be a paid membership only site. Hopefully thst would help out alot of the time wasters. And photo verification should be mandatory. "

We were only having this conversation recently. One would think a paid site is the way to go.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *uicypeaches77Couple  over a year ago

Torquay


"The problem is that the idiots outnumber the decent guys and make it really hard for the good ones to stand out. We have had to block single guys as we we bombarded with crass and rude messages from pillocks who treat women like walking flashlights and wet wanks and definitely didn't read the profile. We have met some wonderful single guys that prove not everyone is like that but unfortunately the bad ones ruin it for the good guys. Wish there was a way to vet them, like a sort by positive feedback but I think that would be too complex to implement and would still have the same issue for new guys "

It's interesting , we have had no cock pics or rude messaged since we set up our profile , a few daft one liners, and winks from single guys.

I would say from being a single guy on here in the past, the online idiots exist to a far lesser extent in real life. Ie if you go to an organised social or a decent club most of the guys are really pleasant and sociable.

Harry

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

  

By *erynaughtyman1979 OP   Man  over a year ago

Northampton


"The problem is that the idiots outnumber the decent guys and make it really hard for the good ones to stand out. We have had to block single guys as we we bombarded with crass and rude messages from pillocks who treat women like walking flashlights and wet wanks and definitely didn't read the profile. We have met some wonderful single guys that prove not everyone is like that but unfortunately the bad ones ruin it for the good guys. Wish there was a way to vet them, like a sort by positive feedback but I think that would be too complex to implement and would still have the same issue for new guys

It's interesting , we have had no cock pics or rude messaged since we set up our profile , a few daft one liners, and winks from single guys.

I would say from being a single guy on here in the past, the online idiots exist to a far lesser extent in real life. Ie if you go to an organised social or a decent club most of the guys are really pleasant and sociable.

Harry "

That’s certainly true. I think the problem is it’s easier to be a dreamer online behind a phone or computer screen. People like that would never venture to a club as they may have to actually speak to real Juan beings. The main thing though is I’m glad you’re having a good experience on here and that you’re getting mainly positive messages.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic

0.0937

0