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Should I or shouldn't I?
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Hi all,
I'd appreciate any advice you can give me 
So I met a guy at a greedy girls party on Halloween, he's not on fab but from that threesome app (that begins with F and ends in eeld).
We ended up playing and talking for over 4 hours towards the latter half of the party, we really hit it off. After the party we were talking every day, texting, phone calls, voice messages and met a couple of times (he even helped me pack as I moved flat).
We've not seen each other for 2 weeks now and he messages less. Last weekend he was ill and I didn't know he was because he didn't tell me till after I sent him a voice note saying I'd understand of he was seeing other people and I'd appreciate some honesty so I don't have to ignore other guys I'm talking to.
20 minutes later he called and told me he was ill and isn't very good at messaging anyone when he's not well. Also, he told me that he wasn't seeing or talking to anyone else and that he was very keen on me.
He doesn't message as much as he did initially and I know life gets in the way, but I still get messages from guys I was talking to even before I met him and they're asking to meet and part of me does, but I don't know how to say it to him. Am I just feeling this way because I'm not getting the attention from him? I mean, it's not like we're together and he isn't exactly vanilla but I don't want to upset him if I do have play meets.
My last boyfriend we were both on here and had play meets with others separately, but he's not even my boyfriend.
How do I approach this?
Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think he might be playing you, sorry to say but hope I’m wrong for your sake"
i think hes just swinging and having fun i dont think hes looking for the same as you... so until your seeing each other in a different life do as i think he is and carry on swinging ... hes not ill hes is playing you there but at the end of the day hes swinging and so should you ...dont let your heart rule your head .... not yet anyway .... good luck op |
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I have found throughout my life though that in certain situations familiarity breeds contempt. If a guys interest falls off so quickly he's probably not that bothered. I suspect that if you take a step back yourself he will suddenly become more interested, even so who wants to live life game playing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have found throughout my life though that in certain situations familiarity breeds contempt. If a guys interest falls off so quickly he's probably not that bothered. I suspect that if you take a step back yourself he will suddenly become more interested, even so who wants to live life game playing."
This is exactly what happened with now, to the extent where he messaged me constantly and ive had to tell him to leave me alone  |
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"I have found throughout my life though that in certain situations familiarity breeds contempt. If a guys interest falls off so quickly he's probably not that bothered. I suspect that if you take a step back yourself he will suddenly become more interested, even so who wants to live life game playing.
This is exactly what happened with now, to the extent where he messaged me constantly and ive had to tell him to leave me alone "
If anyone is only interested when you appear not to be they aren't worth it. The ones who are worth it remain consistent. |
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You have proper gone and caught 'the feels' for him! Welcome to the club! Everyone does it sooner or later.
Have a call/chat and tell him as Nicecouple561 have said. Doesn't need to be heavy and emotional. Just clear and precise. Honesty is never a wasted effort.
You'll get an answer one way or the other. Even if it is not the answer that you want, it will be the answer that you need.
Best wishes OP and bon chance! |
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"Hi all,
I'd appreciate any advice you can give me
So I met a guy at a greedy girls party on Halloween, he's not on fab but from that threesome app (that begins with F and ends in eeld).
We ended up playing and talking for over 4 hours towards the latter half of the party, we really hit it off. After the party we were talking every day, texting, phone calls, voice messages and met a couple of times (he even helped me pack as I moved flat).
We've not seen each other for 2 weeks now and he messages less. Last weekend he was ill and I didn't know he was because he didn't tell me till after I sent him a voice note saying I'd understand of he was seeing other people and I'd appreciate some honesty so I don't have to ignore other guys I'm talking to.
20 minutes later he called and told me he was ill and isn't very good at messaging anyone when he's not well. Also, he told me that he wasn't seeing or talking to anyone else and that he was very keen on me.
He doesn't message as much as he did initially and I know life gets in the way, but I still get messages from guys I was talking to even before I met him and they're asking to meet and part of me does, but I don't know how to say it to him. Am I just feeling this way because I'm not getting the attention from him? I mean, it's not like we're together and he isn't exactly vanilla but I don't want to upset him if I do have play meets.
My last boyfriend we were both on here and had play meets with others separately, but he's not even my boyfriend.
How do I approach this?
Thank you "
Hm, not to be cynical but men often say things they mean in the moment but it changes afterwards. If the words are not matching the actions then understandable that you are having doubts.
Did he ask you and did you agree to be exclusive? If not then you do not have to stop dating other people at all. He has no right to have unspoken expectations of you. In any case, it is best not to assume that monogamy is an automatic option unless you know for sure and you've had a clear conversation about it.
My advice would be to engage with others until and unless this new person gives you a good reason to consider becoming exclusive and shows consistent interest by actions. No need to put your life on hold in some unspoken expectation as it is not fair on either of you. |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
Unless I am reading this wrong, you met him at a greedy girls event - both you and he are likely single, so do what you want. Meet whoever you want, if he doesn't want to get back fine, if he does he likely knows you've fucked a dozen men inbetween as has he?
(can't spell) |
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It's always a risk that feelings start to intrude and complicate things.
That said, you both started on the right footing at a greedy girl event.
As suggested as above, keep meeting and fucking guys & maybe invite him to be one of those attending?
That may well be his thing?
Organising a group fuck on here is hard enough with all the dreamers, timewasters and last minute nerves merchants that having at least one reliable guys is worth a lot.
That way you may well keep his friendship without being exclusive?
Good luck.
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