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Anxiety and Nerves

By *yancaroline OP Couple over a year ago

Falkirk

Hi all,

We love sharing and swapping but I get Anxiety and nerves before meeting a guy. Does anyone else get this and how do they deal with it? I've been pushing through because once I'm there and having sex it all goes away and I love it, but the lead up to it is the worst part. Any suggestions? I'm not even sure why I feel like that when I know I love the whole experience and really enjoy it as it's happening. I think it has a little to do with being told I'm no good at sex even though Ryan tells me he has no complaints at all.

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By *aliceWoman over a year ago

Birmingham

Don't beat yourself up about it. Nerves are a natural and healthy reaction that help keep us safe and aware. As you're managing to overcome them and have enjoyable meets then it sounds to me like you're in control of them and shouldn't worry about them.

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By *opsy RogersWoman over a year ago

London

"Hi all,

It's completely normal, why wouldn't you feel anxious and nervous?

They are both very good emotional responses to an unknown situation and could keep you safe.

Pushing through it is an ace thing to do but listen to your instincts too.

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By *orkshireDrifterMan over a year ago

Nafferton, nr Driffield.

....and looking at your pictures I have no doubt that you are a very exciting woman to meet!

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By *izandpaulCouple over a year ago

merseyside

"Hi all,

The nervousness before any meets is part of the fun.

Without it, we'd pack it in.

That's why we like meeting new people, going to parties, clubs and holidays and not too fussed on multiple meets with the same folks.

Have fun.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

There's no separate guage for nervous/anxiety and excitement, so when we feel both it's typically impossible to tell their blurred boundaries apart.

Having the right partners is important, so that they don't get to push anxiety up. Likewise, how you meet them - make sure it's at a slower pace that's under your control.

More experience can help meets become more usual and less unusual and thus potentially like regular life.

I make a routine to keep myself balanced, in the preparation before the meeting. Again this helps you to feel in control. Add in some extra time, so it never feels rushed. Remove any elements of life that could stress you.

If you do exercise, consider having some at an earlier point. Even just a walk, for your own wellbeing. Notice anything that pushes buttons and remove these in future.

If you have some things that give you great positivity, including music, whatever, consider adding them to your plan. Remember that breathing is a key way for us to reduce our stress, so learn and practice good, healthy breathing. Some yoga stretches could be fantastic for you too.

Remain in control, including having the options to postpone, if you don't feel good to meet.

Recollect your positive meet successes before your new ones.

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By *yancaroline OP Couple over a year ago

Falkirk

What I mean is the anxiety is almost unbearable, like... really don't know how else to describe it other than so bad that at times it makes me want to cancel any meet we have. But as soon as it's happening, I'm absolutely fine. I don't want to stop arranging meets as I love doing them but the whole leading up to it is sometimes just almost too much. I'd rather be a lot more relaxed but not sure how normal how I feel is. Ryan is nervous, but he can talk about it, and tries to help, but I'm on another level sometimes.

Cxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What I mean is the anxiety is almost unbearable, like... really don't know how else to describe it other than so bad that at times it makes me want to cancel any meet we have. But as soon as it's happening, I'm absolutely fine. I don't want to stop arranging meets as I love doing them but the whole leading up to it is sometimes just almost too much. I'd rather be a lot more relaxed but not sure how normal how I feel is. Ryan is nervous, but he can talk about it, and tries to help, but I'm on another level sometimes.

Cxx"

Perhaps agree to not do anything physical on the first meet, just chill out and hang out..& take things further on the next meet.

(i get like this sometimes too.. and would be happy just to take things slowly if the other party agreed aswell)

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By *yancaroline OP Couple over a year ago

Falkirk

I agree with the idea of your advice, but when I'm there, I just want to fuck and have fun. I don't think it's the sex that is the issue, I prefer when I meet people to not talk much and get straight too it. lol I'm weird cxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I get this espically is someone new and more so if I'm going somewhere Ive not been before.

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By *untime40Man over a year ago

"Hi all,

Hi i think everyone gets nervous when meeting for the first time but i think it has to feel right also i suffer from anxiety disorder so nerves are though the roof doing anything but its all about if you feel confident with the person your meeting ive turned up to a meet before we were chatting for a few weeks it was a couple that are no longer on the site i was invited round (miracle) when i arrived i felt uncomfortable straight away the male opened the door naked no hi or anything and just said we are upstairs i thought ok just go with it i went up and the lady was on the bed he came behind me and said ok get on with it i looked at here and round the room it was dirty and the sheets looked like they had never been washed i looked at him he was wanking i saw his cock was unwashed i made my apologies and left you get good and bad on here i think its just having the conviction of self to decline even at the eleventh hour

Nerves can be fun though love the feeling of getting undressed in front of someone new not knowing their reaction

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"I agree with the idea of your advice, but when I'm there, I just want to fuck and have fun. I don't think it's the sex that is the issue, I prefer when I meet people to not talk much and get straight too it. lol I'm weird cxx"

Communicate this beforehand with your potential meets. Be open with them upfront, and say you suffer a little with nerves, so prefer that when they arrive, you get on with the play straight away.

Guys get nervous too, but a face full of pussy usually sorts me out

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi all,

I'd be surprised if everyone doesn't experience this to some extent...

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By *ancs married coupleCouple over a year ago

Silverdale

"Hi all,

Try changing your mindset to 'I feel excited' rather than 'I feel nervous'. The sensations are the same but the feelings are more pleasant when you tell yourself you're excited x

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By *uietbloke67Man over a year ago

outside your bedroom window ;-)

I'm the same but the opposite, I get very nervous thinking about it, emotions run high. To be honest though I think it adds to the tension for me personally and makes it exciting. The first kiss though usually relives the tension.

Have you not tried a little introductory social meet, public place and if it goes well a little flirting and a kiss.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Suffer real bad as well. I have to really push myself through it but oh so glad when i do. Its just part of it for me now however much i wish i didnt suffer. Keep on going!x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi all,

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just a couple of thoughts about anxiety and Mindset.

First thought is that if you are being told "your no good at sex" your probably in the wrong bed and not living up to the expectations of someone who has neither the imagination and/or patience to explore together to where they want to get. Personally, I think "your no good at sex" is a pretty stupid thing to say.

As to pre-meet nerves and mindset. Always caution, but also think of each new meet as a pressie to be unwrapped (usually literally) and enjoyed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Pity you arent closer. I get nerves too and performance anxiety. We could fix eachother.

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By *izandpaulCouple over a year ago

merseyside

Who told you "you are no good at sex".

Maybe they are too shit between the sheets or just plain ugly.

Whatever their twisted reasoning, ignore them.

Best of all, are you having a brilliant time, if yes, carry on.

It's you who are the most important.

I get nervous on initial meets but I've always been a confident woman and swinging has pushed my confidence onto the stratosphere.

Have fun

Liz. X

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By *andy BarSteward73Man over a year ago

Sandwell

I'm going to be in the same 'boat'

If I get a FAB meet, I believe it's probably going to be one off the most nerve-racking experiences.

I've done some club socials which I found easier & think I'll continue with those for the time being.. although I think the next one may get a little more spicy... Which will reset nerves to Max lol.

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By *ove2pleaseseukMan over a year ago

Hastings

"Hi all,

As a guy if I get to much Anxiety and nerves nothing is going to happen anyway so that makes you more nervous next time it's a hard one to call don't think there are meany out there that can preform just like that and if they can what dose that say about the guy.

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By *entle_lover_xMan over a year ago

Great Dunmow

"Hi all,

What does it say about the guy? Are you implying something negative? What's wrong with being turned on and hard quickly?

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By *ootprints1629Couple over a year ago

somewhere in moray

"Hi all,

I'm.so glad we are not the only ones, it's actually gotten so bad for us that we have cancled meets...we have had a few meets good and bad, but of recent we just can't find anyone that we are attracted to or is a match, I think maybe the bad experiences have made us more nervous and we really want to get back into it bit the nerves stop us...thankyou for sharing this...its good to know we aren't alone.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I get what I call butterflies but I wouldn't call it genuine anxiety. I'm always nervous/excited.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sounds like the perfect fab date lol ..xxx

Maybe you have some kind of sensitivity to the endorphins the nerves produce ..

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By *andM13Couple over a year ago

Dyserth

We both get a bit anxious but I (M) get it particularly bad. I get shakey, sweaty, restless etc etc.

I would say what has helped me is to associate those the anxiety with the good stuff that's about to come. Whenever we do actually get into things, it's always great and I feel relaxed. So what I try and do is when I start to get the anxiety, I try and think of it as a positive, as a prelude to the good times that are coming. It's really helped me push through it.

It's part of the fun for me now and if I wasn't anxious, it would be a sign that it's probably not something I'm looking forward to lol

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By *arry monk40Man over a year ago

Telford

Gin and tonic job done

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By *ucka39Man over a year ago

Newcastle

Are some good pod cast session that help I'm sure have nothing in mind as I'm a open book sometimes it naturally occurring and naturally overcome which becomes less of an issue

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I get anxious myself. I think it’s normal but I have met some people and it feels right within mins. I think this is all down to the person you are meeting

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By *ucka39Man over a year ago

Newcastle

"I get anxious myself. I think it’s normal but I have met some people and it feels right within mins. I think this is all down to the person you are meeting "

It is very much normal, but controlling it so it's less of an issue and those whom you meet can change things very quickly up or down

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