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The Club Scene
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've been in this scene for years now, so I've experienced quite a lot.
I was wondering if going to a club without playing, is exceptable or would those there to play look at it as weird...
(I know you're free to do as you please and all that)
I just have a niche for something different, not shagging till I drop (I have been there and done that)
Social and voyuer side I love  |
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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago
Beyond the shadows. |
"I've been in this scene for years now, so I've experienced quite a lot.
I was wondering if going to a club without playing, is exceptable or would those there to play look at it as weird...
(I know you're free to do as you please and all that)
I just have a niche for something different, not shagging till I drop (I have been there and done that)
Social and voyuer side I love "
Yes it is I often go just to socialise. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Only asking because I remember a guy back in 2019 saying to me - you're at a swinging club aren't you fucking?
Lol at the time, I was socialising with the owner and having a few laughs..... |
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"I've been in this scene for years now, so I've experienced quite a lot.
I was wondering if going to a club without playing, is exceptable or would those there to play look at it as weird...
(I know you're free to do as you please and all that)
I just have a niche for something different, not shagging till I drop (I have been there and done that)
Social and voyuer side I love "
I go often and dont play xx |
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13 visits out of 15, I've not played. I never expected to make a connection every time I went, but going in as a single guy, if you're not part of a click, you're pretty much invisible. Still worth a look though, as you never know what might happen  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Haven't been to any myself yet, but when I do I'd only be going to get a feel for the place and hopefully just socialise.
No one should be putting any pressure on you to take part in anything you're not comfortable with. (Though I'm sure with anything there's people that will) If they do and are persistent after making your feelings clear bringing it to a staff members attention would probably be your best bet.
Though as I said at the start, I've not been, so the idea I have in my head may be completely wrong... |
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"I've been in this scene for years now, so I've experienced quite a lot.
I was wondering if going to a club without playing, is exceptable or would those there to play look at it as weird...
(I know you're free to do as you please and all that)
I just have a niche for something different, not shagging till I drop (I have been there and done that)
Social and voyuer side I love "
Wow, we happy not play would never compromise our fun with people or person we are not attraction to.. |
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"13 visits out of 15, I've not played. I never expected to make a connection every time I went, but going in as a single guy, if you're not part of a click, you're pretty much invisible. Still worth a look though, as you never know what might happen "
I know plenty of single guys who aren't part of any cliques that exist, who are known to be good fun and sound. It's just a case of going, talking to people, listening, etc. The more you go, the better it is. And yes, not playing is absolutely fine. Going in with the mentality that you must play or the night is wasted sets you up for a lot of disappointment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"13 visits out of 15, I've not played. I never expected to make a connection every time I went, but going in as a single guy, if you're not part of a click, you're pretty much invisible. Still worth a look though, as you never know what might happen "
Comments like this daunt me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been in this scene for years now, so I've experienced quite a lot.
I was wondering if going to a club without playing, is exceptable or would those there to play look at it as weird...
(I know you're free to do as you please and all that)
I just have a niche for something different, not shagging till I drop (I have been there and done that)
Social and voyuer side I love "
I used to go just too socialise tbh.
Dont think it's weird at all |
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Course. I've been whilst on my period before now so knew before I even left the house my body was a play free zone.
Yeah I've heard comments but I think "get a life cuntface" coz to me that says they'll shag for the sake of a shag, purely because they're there which is up to them but don't expect everyone to do the same ..... or truth of the matter, they're likely peeved that you're getting attention off someone they wanna bang when you ain't gonna bone them anyway. |
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By *eachy123Woman
over a year ago
Rochdale/Manchester/Blackpool and were ever the mood takes me |
"I've been in this scene for years now, so I've experienced quite a lot.
I was wondering if going to a club without playing, is exceptable or would those there to play look at it as weird...
(I know you're free to do as you please and all that)
I just have a niche for something different, not shagging till I drop (I have been there and done that)
Social and voyuer side I love "
It isnt weird I've found within the club community people do form actual friendships while out, seeing as no one really says anything in the real world so to speak most just enjoy the socializing side and catching up the play is just a bonus  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been in this scene for years now, so I've experienced quite a lot.
I was wondering if going to a club without playing, is exceptable or would those there to play look at it as weird...
(I know you're free to do as you please and all that)
I just have a niche for something different, not shagging till I drop (I have been there and done that)
Social and voyuer side I love
It isnt weird I've found within the club community people do form actual friendships while out, seeing as no one really says anything in the real world so to speak most just enjoy the socializing side and catching up the play is just a bonus "
I just see it as place you can be a bit more liberated and yourself. Even if you are just socialising. Obviously that may depend on the club. But I feel less anxious that if I go to a Nightclub or something.
But that just maybe me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been in this scene for years now, so I've experienced quite a lot.
I was wondering if going to a club without playing, is exceptable or would those there to play look at it as weird...
(I know you're free to do as you please and all that)
I just have a niche for something different, not shagging till I drop (I have been there and done that)
Social and voyuer side I love "
Nope not wierd at all... I've gone to a club plenty of times now and not played... (to date i've been to the attic 7 times i think and not played there as of yet)....
I enjoy the social side and also as a female i prefer a night out to a swinging club then to a "vanilla" nightclub....
Twisted  |
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Sometimes we just go to clubs to unwind, have a drink and escape the kids. Sometimes we just go to our local Club Amigos for one of their Aberdeen Angus burgers, use the spa facilities and take it from there. We don't go with a plan or an objective. We've had some awesome flithly club times, we've also had some great times where we've just had a few drinks, laughs and socialised and sometimes some great times just making our own filth. The only plan is to have a good time however we feel and whoever we find (or don't find). |
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
I attend regularly and don't play. Hosted a large party last week and didn't play then either!
The guy who commented was probably either pissed that you didn't want him to bang your brains out or trying to 'guilt' you into it 
But 100% go and just enjoy yourself how YOU want to - within the rules of course |
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"I've been in this scene for years now, so I've experienced quite a lot.
I was wondering if going to a club without playing, is exceptable or would those there to play look at it as weird...
(I know you're free to do as you please and all that)
I just have a niche for something different, not shagging till I drop (I have been there and done that)
Social and voyuer side I love "
Totally acceptable. Most have my club visits have been just social |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And yes, not playing is absolutely fine. Going in with the mentality that you must play or the night is wasted sets you up for a lot of disappointment. "
This is possibly the most sound advice for anyone going to a club.
Many times I’ve been to a club just to socialise and build a rapport with others, which can then open up more opportunities for play at a later date.
For single guys it makes perfect sense to go without an agenda rather that attempt to fill up your scorecard, otherwise you could end up being one of them desperate pests who give genuinely well behaved guys a bad name. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
I think of a swinging club as a social club but with benefits if you decide to take them up….
Some of my best nights at clubs have been those where I have just been chatting the shit and shooting the breeze |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Some often go and don't play as far as we're aware. We had 2 club nights in the summer where we've chatted to people, had a laugh and a dance, and just had a play with each other. "
It's a great night when it happens so easily. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Absolutely yes! I’ve been a few times and not played. I like to chat, and be a voyeur also "
I only see the guys voyeuring haha
Play can sometimes be sexy enough to get me in the mood  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Haven't been to any myself yet, but when I do I'd only be going to get a feel for the place and hopefully just socialise.
No one should be putting any pressure on you to take part in anything you're not comfortable with. (Though I'm sure with anything there's people that will) If they do and are persistent after making your feelings clear bringing it to a staff members attention would probably be your best bet.
Though as I said at the start, I've not been, so the idea I have in my head may be completely wrong..."
Oh I was sat in the hot tub when he tried the control trick on me again.
I just said, "Make yourself useful and rub my shoulders will ya"
Bless, he soon shut up! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think it’s perfectly ok to that. I often go to a club with only socialising in mind. I enjoy the clientele, freedom and fun that can be had. Enjoy your fun times in the club! "
Hiya lovely
Too true  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Totally acceptable. I just treat a swingers club as a social club to get to know other people. Social side is just as important if not more than just having random sex for me anyways. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Course. I've been whilst on my period before now so knew before I even left the house my body was a play free zone.
Yeah I've heard comments but I think "get a life cuntface" coz to me that says they'll shag for the sake of a shag, purely because they're there which is up to them but don't expect everyone to do the same ..... or truth of the matter, they're likely peeved that you're getting attention off someone they wanna bang when you ain't gonna bone them anyway."
Hahaha sooo funny you XXX
Love your input and that pretty much covers it! I can't even elaborate  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've been in this scene for years now, so I've experienced quite a lot.
I was wondering if going to a club without playing, is exceptable or would those there to play look at it as weird...
(I know you're free to do as you please and all that)
I just have a niche for something different, not shagging till I drop (I have been there and done that)
Social and voyuer side I love
It isnt weird I've found within the club community people do form actual friendships while out, seeing as no one really says anything in the real world so to speak most just enjoy the socializing side and catching up the play is just a bonus "
Hiya gorgeous
Thank you very much for that X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I attend regularly and don't play. Hosted a large party last week and didn't play then either!
The guy who commented was probably either pissed that you didn't want him to bang your brains out or trying to 'guilt' you into it
But 100% go and just enjoy yourself how YOU want to - within the rules of course "
Pinky
That's surprised me, no pinky play  what's going on haha!
Hope your weekend went well lovely xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think of a swinging club as a social club but with benefits if you decide to take them up….
Some of my best nights at clubs have been those where I have just been chatting the shit and shooting the breeze "
No problem and why not, you're a nice guy |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I want to go on a female only day just for a drink, chat and get a feel for the club. So much happier about it after these comments."
Female only....
Do any clubs anywhere do those?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Totally acceptable. I just treat a swingers club as a social club to get to know other people. Social side is just as important if not more than just having random sex for me anyways. "
Good attitude |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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***thank you everybody***
Glad to see people do the same as me!
I've took a bag of tricks to a club before now - but after asking a couple of guys if they'd like to be my sub for a bit. I watched for the very first time, how fast men could run wearing a towel.....
Best I just voyeur |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think I’ve only ever had sex twice in a club, I like clubs, but I’m really not into sex in clubs. Most of the people I see in clubs aren’t having sex "
Are you leaving early?
Haha |
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"Absolutely yes! I’ve been a few times and not played. I like to chat, and be a voyeur also
I only see the guys voyeuring haha
Play can sometimes be sexy enough to get me in the mood "
Yes is mostly the case but there are us women too. X |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
"I've been in this scene for years now, so I've experienced quite a lot.
I was wondering if going to a club without playing, is exceptable or would those there to play look at it as weird...
(I know you're free to do as you please and all that)
I just have a niche for something different, not shagging till I drop (I have been there and done that)
Social and voyuer side I love "
I haven’t read all the replies but as a solo woman that (used to) go to lots of club nights I rarely do much in the way of shagging. I’m a born voyeur and often a trouble maker in that I may encourage others. I love the social, the drinks, the attention, the naughty atmosphere, the decadence but only sometimes do I find something or someone that will lead me into temptation .
V x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've been in this scene for years now, so I've experienced quite a lot.
I was wondering if going to a club without playing, is exceptable or would those there to play look at it as weird...
(I know you're free to do as you please and all that)
I just have a niche for something different, not shagging till I drop (I have been there and done that)
Social and voyuer side I love
I haven’t read all the replies but as a solo woman that (used to) go to lots of club nights I rarely do much in the way of shagging. I’m a born voyeur and often a trouble maker in that I may encourage others. I love the social, the drinks, the attention, the naughty atmosphere, the decadence but only sometimes do I find something or someone that will lead me into temptation .
V x "
Love your naughty mindset
keep encouraging |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been in this scene for years now, so I've experienced quite a lot.
I was wondering if going to a club without playing, is exceptable or would those there to play look at it as weird...
(I know you're free to do as you please and all that)
I just have a niche for something different, not shagging till I drop (I have been there and done that)
I have only been to a club once. However, I know in all clubs if you do not want to play and just socialise that is your choice. You do not have to play.
Social and voyuer side I love "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Only asking because I remember a guy back in 2019 saying to me - you're at a swinging club aren't you fucking?
Lol at the time, I was socialising with the owner and having a few laughs....."
He was a dickhead. Just because you are at a swingers club does not mean you have to play. If you play or who you play with is 100% your choice.
I bet you that guy wouldn't have gone to a couple and said the same. |
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
"I attend regularly and don't play. Hosted a large party last week and didn't play then either!
The guy who commented was probably either pissed that you didn't want him to bang your brains out or trying to 'guilt' you into it
But 100% go and just enjoy yourself how YOU want to - within the rules of course
Pinky
That's surprised me, no pinky play what's going on haha!
Hope your weekend went well lovely xxx"
Honestly I regularly don't play! More than happy to just have a crackin laugh with friends old n new |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
We regularly go to clubs and don't play. If we don't meet anybody who takes our fancy we are not going to shag for the sake of it. Occasionally we might play on our on but quite often we will just stay in the bar chatting and then have fun when we get home. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was at a club last weekend and upset the apple cart because I wasn't ever going to play that specific night.
It was quiet and I was one of the only 'single type' of girls present until after 1am so it was expected for me to drop my clothes and be free rein.
I just like the social side, having a dance and a play should I choose.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When we visit a club, we don't go with the intention of playing. We just enjoy being there, relaxing and having a laugh with each other and socialising.
If we do play its just an added bonus to a good evening.
Its not about how many people you can fuck, its about having a good time and enjoying what you want to do, not what you're expected to do.
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By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
I was just saying in another thread: clubs are about a lot more than just sex. A club is a place to be you. You can have conversations there that you'd never have in the outside world. And of course for a voyeur it's paradise.
You will get interest from people, and people will assume that you're there to have sex. Give them a gentle 'sorry, but no', and that should be enough. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was at a club last weekend and upset the apple cart because I wasn't ever going to play that specific night.
It was quiet and I was one of the only 'single type' of girls present until after 1am so it was expected for me to drop my clothes and be free rein.
I just like the social side, having a dance and a play should I choose.
"
Was that the feeling you got or was it actually said to you - because that's really uncomfortable for you and bang out of order, you are made to feel that way! |
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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago
Durham |
"I was at a club last weekend and upset the apple cart because I wasn't ever going to play that specific night.
It was quiet and I was one of the only 'single type' of girls present until after 1am so it was expected for me to drop my clothes and be free rein.
I just like the social side, having a dance and a play should I choose.
Was that the feeling you got or was it actually said to you - because that's really uncomfortable for you and bang out of order, you are made to feel that way!"
At quiet events (most often daytime ones) I’ve had comments when I wasn’t playing. I’ve also found blokes using their body language to make it difficult for me - crowded room, so I literally felt like the only space available to me was on the bed. And I’ve noticed I tend to get more unwanted touches on nights when I’m not playing.
People don’t tend to use words for situations like this. They don’t need to. Body language in swinging counts a lot for invitation and welcoming, but it can go the other way too. |
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I really want to go to one and see and get a feel for what it's like etc. I'd be going with a friend first who's been before. I don't intend to play straight off the bat. I'd like to socialise and maybe play with my friend, who knows.
I've been looking at clubs Web pages and everyone of them has stated on there that there's no pressure to play and no means no |
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I’d say half the time I’m at a clubs I’m not playing with anyone. I’ve even been to gay saunas on TV days and not played. I’m often happy enough to just get dressed up and socialise with people, besides sex messes up my makeup.
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We love the social side as much as the play side, so totally acceptable to us! I recently visited a ladies only night at a club, and didn’t play, I love to watch as it’s a huge turn on for me. Love it when you get a cheeky wink or smile from someone whilst they’re playing too! Miss pc |
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When weve been, aside from the odd bi fem snog, weve pretty much gone to socialise. Have to say some really lovely people in the scene. Weirdly we dont think its sexy at all in the play rooms. Not intimate enough for us x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Everybody has had something interesting to say, with their outlook and experience.
Really great to read, thank you for your input.
I'll feel less conscious not playing now  |
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Im really glad u read all these messages! Its made me feel better about going to a club.
Im currently single and i dont think id go alone. Does anyone go to townhouse, liverpool so i can tag along? |
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By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
"Does anyone go to townhouse, liverpool so i can tag along? "
I've been a couple of times now, and will be going again (as a couple) in a few weeks. It'll be an excellent first club for you. They have regular "newbies" nights, so maybe try one of those first.
You're going to get a lot of men offering to take you. I would not recommend going with a man that you don't know. Go with a friend, or another woman. Or if you get brave enough, go on your own - you'll be well looked after once you're there. |
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From our experience with club visits.
We play around 25% of the time, for many reasons.
Still enjoy our night.
Best just ignore any of the children dressed in men's bodies who make comments previously quoted.
Do what makes you happy, not other people.
Sometimes, far more sexual chemistry at a social gathering than a party or club.
Have fun. |
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"Im really glad u read all these messages! Its made me feel better about going to a club.
Im currently single and i dont think id go alone. Does anyone go to townhouse, liverpool so i can tag along? "
Townhouse will be fine for you to go alone, they have newbie nights and social nights.
Maybe meet up initially with any single or couple you intend to tag along, maybe just for a chat and coffee at first.
Stay safe. |
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"Im really glad u read all these messages! Its made me feel better about going to a club.
Im currently single and i dont think id go alone. Does anyone go to townhouse, liverpool so i can tag along?
Townhouse will be fine for you to go alone, they have newbie nights and social nights.
Maybe meet up initially with any single or couple you intend to tag along, maybe just for a chat and coffee at first.
Stay safe. "
thanks, i might go on my own xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We’ve been going to clubs for a few years now and more often than not only play with each other. Maybe we’ve been lucky but there’s never been an expectation for us to play with others at any of the clubs we’ve visited. |
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