FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Having no success at all
Having no success at all
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By *ITCH99 OP Man
over a year ago
Rusholme |
Hi people, does anyone else find it very difficult to recieve a response from anyone?
I follow rules and peoples bio's and be as respectful as I can be, but I'm not getting anything at all, what could I be doing wrong?
I also understand that there must be a substantial amount of men that are hurling messages left, right and centre so I'm aware of the situation, but what makes a single man stand out? |
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By *panddaCouple
over a year ago
West Mids |
"Mate there are LOADS of threads on this topic. Use the search function and do some reading. "
Totally this.
And there are loads of guys on here looking for the same thing.
People who are looking have lots of choice.
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"It’s not just men who can’t find what they are looking for "
Very true 
OP, follow the previous advice and look at what has already been posted. Most of the advice is generic anyway.
One quick scan of your profile shows that it says your 22, then later it says 24. It might seem minor but it could indicate someone who isn't being wholly truthful and that will put people off really quickly.
As a couple that do meet guys your age we have seen far worse profiles; good luck.  |
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"I think you are another that's joined thinking this is like T1nder etc.
Swinging isn't the same as a Saturday night out on the pull, it's social hobby."
Lots of single people use it like that though.
I don’t see swinging as a social hobby at all.
OP, get to the clubs… even if it’s not your scene you’ll meet genuine people and people know your genuine… good way of meeting people to meet outside of clubs too xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've not met in ages. Not through trying. Even the vanilla sites are shit these days. Too much swiping left or right. I'm at the age of not going out to meet in the pubs or night clubs so that's a minus straight away.
Poor old madam palm is getting a headache now lol |
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My advice is delete your profile and find a more suitable platform thats designed more for single males.
Im single, male and I like fab because I can navigate it to make to make it worth my while being a member. And worth my while includes actually meeting people. I do this while experiencing same things happening to me that you do. Difficult to arrange a meet, getting blanked by people you've engaged with over time it happens, getting blocked even though were Mr charming. This will continue to happen, you can't change any of this and you don't need to because its not personal. Your target audience of who you want to meet will respond im this thread , tell you why you've been unsuccessful and give you helpful tips to change it around so you only need to be concerned by their comments really but I imagine few guys take it on board judging by constant influx of similar threads.
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First of all, make up your mind regarding how old you are.
Secondly, as you say in your profile you want to be involved in swinging community, do get yourself to an organised social or a club. As you live in Manchester, you have the perfect location for either.
Oh, last but not least- would you really like to meet a 99 year old? |
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"My advice is delete your profile and find a more suitable platform thats designed more for single males.
Im single, male and I like fab because I can navigate it to make to make it worth my while being a member. And worth my while includes actually meeting people. I do this while experiencing same things happening to me that you do. Difficult to arrange a meet, getting blanked by people you've engaged with over time it happens, getting blocked even though were Mr charming. This will continue to happen, you can't change any of this and you don't need to because its not personal. Your target audience of who you want to meet will respond im this thread , tell you why you've been unsuccessful and give you helpful tips to change it around so you only need to be concerned by their comments really but I imagine few guys take it on board judging by constant influx of similar threads.
"
P.s the comments you get back will fall anywhere between soft and fluffy to complete annihilation of your profile. If it's the latter is still good advice. If single males rally to your defence, of how unfair and one sides everyone is being remember your straight , your not wanting to fuck them so only take their advice if your wanting your success rate to be the only thing that's going down on something |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I actually think your bio is ok, except for the disparity in your age, which would put me off.
You’re also just so young, a lot of people don’t want to meet someone half their age. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi people, does anyone else find it very difficult to recieve a response from anyone?
I follow rules and peoples bio's and be as respectful as I can be, but I'm not getting anything at all, what could I be doing wrong?
I also understand that there must be a substantial amount of men that are hurling messages left, right and centre so I'm aware of the situation, but what makes a single man stand out? "
No new single man's profile stand out from the rest it's all word of mouth and networking by couples.
My best advice would be go to a swingers club and see what goes on and then think am I going to be OK with other men in the room with me having sex.
You need proof on here that you can perform with one other man at least watching the odds on getting a single fem to meet a unverified profile are very and I mean very low. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Decent pictures, your bio while short isn't bad and has some personality but maybe talk about what you want to get out of swinging and what you would bring to the table.
The biggest red flag is the age discrepancy your stats say 24 your bio says 22. You need to correct that and be honest.
Most swinging clubs are age 21 or 23+. As you live in a big city and one with great swinging clubs close by you have a far greater chance to break into the swinging scene compared to those who live in the sticks, villages and areas devoid of local swinging clubs.
There are also socials held in the Manchester area. Join the clubs, attend the socials as these are the gateways to the swinging community and private parties / events (as long as your respectful, charming and able to perform in front of others).
Good luck OP hopefully (unlike the majority) you will revisit this thread and take onboard some of the great advice.
KJ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi people, does anyone else find it very difficult to recieve a response from anyone?
I follow rules and peoples bio's and be as respectful as I can be, but I'm not getting anything at all, what could I be doing wrong?
I also understand that there must be a substantial amount of men that are hurling messages left, right and centre so I'm aware of the situation, but what makes a single man stand out?
No new single man's profile stand out from the rest it's all word of mouth and networking by couples.
My best advice would be go to a swingers club and see what goes on and then think am I going to be OK with other men in the room with me having sex.
You need proof on here that you can perform with one other man at least watching the odds on getting a single fem to meet a unverified profile are very and I mean very low."
This is so important and often overlooked.
To be a successful guy in swinging you need to be able to sexually perform Infront of other people including guys. There's a reason many guys couldn't be porn stars, performing in from of an audience can be daunting and until you attempt it you won't be able to know if you can or can't.
I take my hat off to all the single guys who can (we have seen many club 1st timers not be able to get / maintain an erection.
As the male half of a couple when the nerves hit me in the packed clubs as I am part of a couple I focus on K who is effectively my sexual muse which ensures I always rise to the occasion.
KJ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi people, does anyone else find it very difficult to recieve a response from anyone?
I follow rules and peoples bio's and be as respectful as I can be, but I'm not getting anything at all, what could I be doing wrong?
I also understand that there must be a substantial amount of men that are hurling messages left, right and centre so I'm aware of the situation, but what makes a single man stand out? "
The wonderful swinging world is just that OP.
Waste of energy getting frustrated about this platform.
Like others have advised, if you have an interest in swinging, that is what happens at clubs.
Go to socialise, no pressure to play and see if this scene is actually for you!
All the best  |
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We are new to this and we have had our share of ignored messages too!
We try and respond to all the polite ones that actually make an effort but there are lots that make no effort at all and are ignored.
We have had messages ignored too and thats their right! We have no expectations, just trying to find people we click with and actually put yourself out there. We have decided to go to a club and planning on attending socials, just sending messages on fab isn't enough we have realised. |
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"It's just very dead atm covid has pretty much killed private swinging at least in our experience"
I have to agree with this. 2019 was a fantastic year for me!  But once lockdown kicked in, the meets dried up, and things haven't improved since. If it wasn't for the friends in the scene I had already, I don't know where I would be right now. Things will pick up all round I'm sure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi people, does anyone else find it very difficult to recieve a response from anyone?
I follow rules and peoples bio's and be as respectful as I can be, but I'm not getting anything at all, what could I be doing wrong?
I also understand that there must be a substantial amount of men that are hurling messages left, right and centre so I'm aware of the situation, but what makes a single man stand out?
No new single man's profile stand out from the rest it's all word of mouth and networking by couples.
My best advice would be go to a swingers club and see what goes on and then think am I going to be OK with other men in the room with me having sex.
You need proof on here that you can perform with one other man at least watching the odds on getting a single fem to meet a unverified profile are very and I mean very low."
Agree.
I'm single and have standards and follow all advice and always respectful, cheeky, nice, relevant, funny, interesting, some of all of the above in my messages yet I've no verifications and no meets. Yet you constantly heart of women complaining about terrible abuse from guys, yet they never chat to me!!! Lol ..
This isn't the place for single guys. I'm still here because I have struck up some nice chat with some lovely ladies whos chat and stories I like and that's that tbh. Expecting women to fall at your fab feet is folly. Get out to the pubs like old times .. this place is for older swinging couples (shouldn't be a surprise).. |
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"I think my problem, and I assume is a problem for a lot of men, is that I'm not meet verified. Which becomes a catch-22 situation."
Being meet verified is not a golden ticket to anything, to be fair. Effort in=results out |
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hardly get any views on my profile and people very rarely read my messages. I’ve had about 2 replies since joining and both been negative replies. I’ve been swinging for about five years with my partner, but both decided to go solo and venture on our own. She gets bombarded with messages and views everyday and I don’t get anything. Very frustrating. |
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I tried a single guy profile for a while and got absolutely nowhere. After 6 months of radio silence I deleted it.
As someone once told me, your only investment here is your time, you have to decide if it’s worth it or not.
Personally if I was genuinely single, I’d be on Tinder. The average single guy on here has very little hope unless they work very hard. Good luck to you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"hardly get any views on my profile and people very rarely read my messages. I’ve had about 2 replies since joining and both been negative replies. I’ve been swinging for about five years with my partner, but both decided to go solo and venture on our own. She gets bombarded with messages and views everyday and I don’t get anything. Very frustrating. "
So is she getting lots of meets whilst you are not since you have both decided to swing solo?
KJ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"hardly get any views on my profile and people very rarely read my messages. I’ve had about 2 replies since joining and both been negative replies. I’ve been swinging for about five years with my partner, but both decided to go solo and venture on our own. She gets bombarded with messages and views everyday and I don’t get anything. Very frustrating. "
No offense..that is normal on fab...purely because single ladies are in the minority. There are loads of single guys in comparison so it's hard for men |
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I think everyone has this problem..speaking from a couples point of veiw we get alot of msgs so answering all of them is just not possible...so we short list...it could also be a location thing..don't be to disheartened..and definitely don't get hot headed about it..thats not attractive at all. |
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