FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Potential meet issue
Potential meet issue
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I have been chatting to a person on here for a while we seem to be getting along. We became friends on here. We have not met yet but we are planning to in the near future but the person started telling me there problems, seems like there going through some self esteem issues, kinda feeling sorry for themself. I don't really want to be a shoulder to cry on but at the same time I don't want to be a dick even though I sound like one, any advice would be great, my gut is telling me to block and forget about it but again that's kind of a shitty thing to do.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I don’t think a block is needed - just be honest about your concerns."
Thanks for the advice, I guess I'm just worried about said person keep messaging me and giving in, that sounds nasty but you are right, I don't want to take on said persons problem. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If it was me I would have that open conversation and then see what happens. It might all be fine. If it turns out differently then you can always block as a last resort."
Basically we were talking about meeting, what we were going to do to each other you know just basic dirty talk, nothing about our personal lives, then it turned to I'm having a bad day kinda things and I'm starting to think, do I really want to do this kinda thing? It was great when it was just flirtatious chat but now I'm kinda having second thoughts as things are getting a bit more personal, does that make me a bad person? All I wanted was a bit of fun. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago
'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks |
No it doesnt. Just have a frank conversation with her. I can assure you that women appreciate that way more than just being cut off suddenly without explanation. We might not enjoy hearing it, but at least we know |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"No it doesnt. Just have a frank conversation with her. I can assure you that women appreciate that way more than just being cut off suddenly without explanation. We might not enjoy hearing it, but at least we know"
Thank you, think I'm going to cut my losses, explain that I don't want to get into whatever issues there may or may not be there. Better to do that than go meet and have a potentially ugly situation, I think its for the best. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If she reads the forums you might already be blocked anyway 
True, sorry it seems like a bit of a dick move."
lol yea probably, anyway hope you get it sorted regardless |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have been chatting to a person on here for a while we seem to be getting along. We became friends on here. We have not met yet but we are planning to in the near future but the person started telling me there problems, seems like there going through some self esteem issues, kinda feeling sorry for themself. I don't really want to be a shoulder to cry on but at the same time I don't want to be a dick even though I sound like one, any advice would be great, my gut is telling me to block and forget about it but again that's kind of a shitty thing to do. "
I'd suggest you have a conversation with your friend very soon, before they read this thread and it all blows up. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
I'd suggest you have a conversation with your friend very soon, before they read this thread and it all blows up."
It's been resolved, it's gonna be a very long time before I plan any meet again, just stick to the forums and the chat rooms for while. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Glad it has been sorted but don’t let this hold you back from fabs. Forums are fine but meets are good too and as long as you face into them (as you did) then these situations are actually pretty rare. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Just for the posters a few of you assumed it was a she and advised from a woman's pov"
That is a really interesting observation. I have just reread what I said in the light of that (I had assumed it was a female) and actually I don’t think I would change anything but great insight. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Just sounds like she trusts you and thinks you are the kind of guy she can open up to. Some people aren't just looking for a quick shag so perhaps you should think long term and not just a hookup. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just sounds like she trusts you and thinks you are the kind of guy she can open up to. Some people aren't just looking for a quick shag so perhaps you should think long term and not just a hookup. "
Or he! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"No it doesnt. Just have a frank conversation with her. I can assure you that women appreciate that way more than just being cut off suddenly without explanation. We might not enjoy hearing it, but at least we know"
This guys. Nothing gets you more respect from a woman than honesty. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Many people want NSA fun because it's often devoid of much other than the positive aspects of interaction with others. You're friendly but not probably best friends, relied upon for life crisis support.
Actions can speak louder than words. You could curtail discussions that stray into areas that you're not comfortable with, each and every time it happens. It wouldn't have to be done callously. You could keep chats shorter too, bringing things to a close, when you've 'got to get on', or something similar.
It will indicate a change in your involvement and they may or may not be happy with that - you may lose your appeal as a sexual partner. But it's right that our engagement with others should only be consensual and if you're not comfortable, I'd stop engagement that I don't want.
You can also use other times to remind and reinforce what it is that you are wanting and offering. Emphasis on these things could make it very clear to someone if they are not matched with you.
They may not be able to progress to the next stage, if they are going to have demands that they will insist on, from a partner. Few of us are uncaring and lacking in empathy but we are also going to want relationships that work for and are right for us. If they are in distress, we can point them towards other support, without being rescuers. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have been chatting to a person on here for a while we seem to be getting along. We became friends on here. We have not met yet but we are planning to in the near future but the person started telling me there problems, seems like there going through some self esteem issues, kinda feeling sorry for themself. I don't really want to be a shoulder to cry on but at the same time I don't want to be a dick even though I sound like one, any advice would be great, my gut is telling me to block and forget about it but again that's kind of a shitty thing to do. "
Absolutely just be honest.
I’m totally the same in the sense that I’m not interested in getting to know people and their personal lives and would do the exact same.
It’s a compliment that they feel they can talk to you about it, but that doesn’t mean it’s appropriate for you to take it on.
It’s not being a dick being honest, just don’t be rude about it and it’s fine x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
