FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > No sex and feeling down
No sex and feeling down
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thanks to my arsehole attitude towards diabetes it’s 13+ years and counting without sex but no it doesn’t get me down as there are so many others ways to garner enjoyment between two people but here’s wishing you the best of luck with your dry spell op.
T |
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"Do you find a lack of sex can make you feel low?
Definitely a thing for me but what about you?
"
Absolutely! If I haven’t had sex for a while I get really down. It releases so may good life affirming endorphins |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Is it the lack of sex or the lack of intimacy you find affects you?
I always felt that if the lack of sex affected me that badly there are ways of sorting that out assuming you can afford it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I envy everyone saying it doesn't affect them. Lack of sex and/or intimacy makes me depressed, anxious, angry and affects my ability to focus. Putting it this way probably makes it sound like addiction but it is what it is... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nope, I'm quite content never having sex again. I enjoy the intimacy of either kissing or cuddling more. Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely in the mood for it and love sex but if you told me tonight I couldn't have sex again I'd shrug my shoulders and carry on watching TV. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Sex can have such a hold on you sometimes and the need for it,that it is very liberating to change tour mindset and be celibate for a while."
I really like the idea of it , I fast from food for similar reasons but sex has a grip unlike food, alcohol etc |
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By *oyRoy06Man
over a year ago
leighton buzzard |
Id suggest there may be other reasons for feeling down, with a lack of sex (or concern thereof) being a contributing factor.
Id suggest taking a look at what's really getting you down and if necessary seek the right help to address it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I envy everyone saying it doesn't affect them. Lack of sex and/or intimacy makes me depressed, anxious, angry and affects my ability to focus. Putting it this way probably makes it sound like addiction but it is what it is..."
Yeah I get you. You need to feel wanted and have the intimacy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For a while it didn't bother me as my libido was non existent anyway. Found out why recently due to a health issue but now that's being sorted out, I've started to have those "feelings" again x |
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Depends…
When I wanted it and a partner rejected me all the time, that got me down. It wasn’t the sex especially, it was the rejection and after a while that’s self esteem and can be a slippery slope.
Your feelings may vary but don’t dismiss what you feel as unreasonable or unvalued, that just makes things worse |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do you really give a shit what others are bothered about?"
Of course! I want to know if other people are affected in a similar way and if there are any similar factors to feeling that way.
Thanks for the conversation everyone, it feels like it affects some people more than others.
Maybe it's intimacy over sex that's the issue for me.
Other factors are probably contributing too, so thankyou for all the different perspectives. You're all lovely! |
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Sex and intimacy affected how we experience the world, as can our decisions and behaviour. When I am ready for sex, including if I feel a heavy need, I ensure that I get it. I can live without it but I view it like other essential things in life. Including eating healthily, I ensure I nourish myself and don't get deficits that affect all of my life. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Aw I got this really uplifting and feelgood message:
happy and hopeful SupporterTick
Jason (48)
No I don't find a lack of sex depressing. What I find depressing is cheating fuck dickheads who ultimately ruin lives. Do you really think your wife is happy with you playing away? Whatever she says it's not healthy and deep down she is not happy....nor clearly are you. Do the right thing and get a divorce to release you both from your fake, sham marriage. You are both in denial. Its not healthy whatever you both might say.
Is this really necessary? Don't judge others by your own standards I say. They wouldn't even let me reply, the coward. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just for the record, if you're gonna private message me at least have the courtesy to allow me to message you back.
What's wrong with some people?
Jidgong, assuming and being a massive bellend aren't gonna help anyone. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just for the record, if you're gonna private message me at least have the courtesy to allow me to message you back.
What's wrong with some people?
Jidgong, assuming and being a massive bellend aren't gonna help anyone. "
Even though Jidgong could be a baddie in a bond film, it meant to say judging. |
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Lack of sex doesn’t make me feel low no, as I have a box full of toys! However I miss the touch and connection! If I allowed it to get me down then it would, but I have other areas of my life that need my attention more, so my sexual needs have to stay within my toy box until time allows it |
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"Aw I got this really uplifting and feelgood message:
happy and hopeful SupporterTick
Jason (48)
No I don't find a lack of sex depressing. What I find depressing is cheating fuck dickheads who ultimately ruin lives. Do you really think your wife is happy with you playing away? Whatever she says it's not healthy and deep down she is not happy....nor clearly are you. Do the right thing and get a divorce to release you both from your fake, sham marriage. You are both in denial. Its not healthy whatever you both might say.
Is this really necessary? Don't judge others by your own standards I say. They wouldn't even let me reply, the coward. "
Sorry, some people are just moronic. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find when you want to have sex with your partner and they really don't want to over a long period it does affect you. I always felt down." that is so true, my relationship came to an because of it, it got me down so much I had no fight left in me to try and save it
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do you find a lack of sex can make you feel low?
Definitely a thing for me but what about you?
Why don’t you just have more sex ?
Problem solved?
"
If only it was that simple, eh? You have no idea. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I find when you want to have sex with your partner and they really don't want to over a long period it does affect you. I always felt down. that is so true, my relationship came to an because of it, it got me down so much I had no fight left in me to try and save it"
Do you feel a lot better these days? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Aw I got this really uplifting and feelgood message:
happy and hopeful SupporterTick
Jason (48)
No I don't find a lack of sex depressing. What I find depressing is cheating fuck dickheads who ultimately ruin lives. Do you really think your wife is happy with you playing away? Whatever she says it's not healthy and deep down she is not happy....nor clearly are you. Do the right thing and get a divorce to release you both from your fake, sham marriage. You are both in denial. Its not healthy whatever you both might say.
Is this really necessary? Don't judge others by your own standards I say. They wouldn't even let me reply, the coward.
Sorry, some people are just moronic. "
Truth. I've had another private message from somebody else since then, calling my feelings stupid. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do you find a lack of sex can make you feel low?
Definitely a thing for me but what about you? just have a wank then"
You do know the difference between a wank and sex, don't you? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Lack of sex doesn’t make me feel low no, as I have a box full of toys! However I miss the touch and connection! If I allowed it to get me down then it would, but I have other areas of my life that need my attention more, so my sexual needs have to stay within my toy box until time allows it "
The toybox sounds good. Do you think it's different for men and women, though? I've seen a lot of women managing to not let it bother them (probably because women are awesome creatures anyway). |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I envy everyone saying it doesn't affect them. Lack of sex and/or intimacy makes me depressed, anxious, angry and affects my ability to focus. Putting it this way probably makes it sound like addiction but it is what it is...
Yeah I get you. You need to feel wanted and have the intimacy."
I'm wondering now if it's the intimacy, rather than just the sex. Sweaty skin on sweaty skin. Deep penetration. Breathing in the ear. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Omg yes, lack of sex does make you feel low! If I go longer than 48 hours without hubby's dick the world is not ok haha."
I can understand and relate to that! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Intimacy is what I crave. Doesn't always have to be sex.
And sometimes, no sex is better than bad sex. "
I'm feeling the intimacy vibe, now. Thankyou for bringing some clarity to my emotions, you and a lot of others here. |
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"Do you find a lack of sex can make you feel low?
Definitely a thing for me but what about you? "
I can always have a wank which takes the edge of not having actual sex, but the not feeling wanted is a killer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've found it really bloody liberating. The choice has been mine to not bother with sex. So much less stress not having to worry whether I'm being taken for a mug or lied to."
Absolutely |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you find a lack of sex can make you feel low?
Definitely a thing for me but what about you?
Why don’t you just have more sex ?
Problem solved?
If only it was that simple, eh? You have no idea. "
Unfortunately I do OP !
But hey what ye gonna do !?
Maybe it’s just a slump ?ive been saying that years now and I’m sticking to it makes things less depressing
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do you find a lack of sex can make you feel low?
Definitely a thing for me but what about you?
Why don’t you just have more sex ?
Problem solved?
If only it was that simple, eh? You have no idea.
Unfortunately I do OP !
But hey what ye gonna do !?
Maybe it’s just a slump ?ive been saying that years now and I’m sticking to it makes things less depressing
"
You could be right. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you find a lack of sex can make you feel low?
Definitely a thing for me but what about you?
Why don’t you just have more sex ?
Problem solved?
If only it was that simple, eh? You have no idea.
Unfortunately I do OP !
But hey what ye gonna do !?
Maybe it’s just a slump ?ive been saying that years now and I’m sticking to it makes things less depressing
You could be right. "
That would be a first mate !!ha
It’s Just a perspective !
Anyway I wouldn’t dwell to much |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a combination of things that are getting me down but I have had a considerable dry spell which is frustrating especially silly when the previous encounters weren’t very exciting or enjoyable.
So in short yeah I feel down without good sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you find a lack of sex can make you feel low?
Definitely a thing for me but what about you? "
Yes, definitely. But only if I didn't have it for prolonged periods of time, such as several months. |
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"I envy everyone saying it doesn't affect them. Lack of sex and/or intimacy makes me depressed, anxious, angry and affects my ability to focus. Putting it this way probably makes it sound like addiction but it is what it is..."
Same here mate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I envy everyone saying it doesn't affect them. Lack of sex and/or intimacy makes me depressed, anxious, angry and affects my ability to focus. Putting it this way probably makes it sound like addiction but it is what it is...
Same here mate "
Youd love my mrs massive tits |
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Do you think that would be feeling bad because of rejection not necessarily because of no sex?
"I find when you want to have sex with your partner and they really don't want to over a long period it does affect you. I always felt down."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I envy everyone saying it doesn't affect them. Lack of sex and/or intimacy makes me depressed, anxious, angry and affects my ability to focus. Putting it this way probably makes it sound like addiction but it is what it is...
Same here mate
Youd love my mrs massive tits "
I’ll be the judge mate bang on a pic |
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I hear a lot about these motivational speakers & ones I’ve looked at give you a taster then want the $$$$.
I will take a look at this though as 90 minutes is more than enough to know if it’s going to make a positive impact x |
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"I hear a lot about these motivational speakers & ones I’ve looked at give you a taster then want the $$$$.
I will take a look at this though as 90 minutes is more than enough to know if it’s going to make a positive impact x"
He has lots of content free for all on YouTube not motivational a psychologist. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Everyone feeling down go to youtube and watch Jordan Patterson's 12 rules to Live Your Life lecture it's like 90 minutes but if you're open to change it will change your life.."
I've seen this guy before. Some good stuff! |
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"Everyone feeling down go to youtube and watch Jordan Patterson's 12 rules to Live Your Life lecture it's like 90 minutes but if you're open to change it will change your life..
I've seen this guy before. Some good stuff! "
So you know what to do so why do you not do it!!!!
Genuine question to ask yourself.
So change 1 thing a week to make it better something like one less sugar in your tea snowballs form there.. |
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"Everyone feeling down go to youtube and watch Jordan Patterson's 12 rules to Live Your Life lecture it's like 90 minutes but if you're open to change it will change your life..
I've seen this guy before. Some good stuff! "
You may well have come across him before because he's best known for being a truly gigantic piece of shit.
He's enormously misogynistic for a start. He has some extremely dodgy views on consent, and has argued that if women weren't so "choosy", then "rape would be unnecessary". He's also said that "there is something that isn't quite right" with women whose priority isn't popping out kids before they're thirty.
Then there's his transphobia, his denial the existence of systemic inequality, his denial of global warming, and his claim that you can't quit smoking without divine help.
Especially hilarious, given the site we're on, is his criticism of casual sex.
Reactionaries and the far right love him, of course, so he's leaned into this in pursuit of the grift.
Seriously nasty piece of work. Lends a thin academic veneer to some extremely problematic views, and acts as a gateway to the far right for the "I AM VERY SMART" brigade. Avoid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For someone to think about sex to much have too much time on their hands you need a distraction something that you might enjoy doing.
Doesn't bother me but the amount I need to do does "
This is the right mindset ...
The only person who can have a word with yourself, is you! |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
In life sex is a luxury everything else can still be pleasurably enjoyed.to think about sex to often is unhealthy you need to learn to focus as sex in life is a bonus if you don't have self control it's time to discuss with either your GP or someone from sexual health as it's not good to think about one thing constantly. |
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"Too many people not having sex. And all open about it on a swinging site . Fail somewhere. "
I've often wondered which site all the people who actually enjoy sex and are having lots of it use.
Then it occurred to me they're probably too busy having a great time to be posting on the internet at all. Ho hum! |
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