FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Dealing with being ghosted
Dealing with being ghosted
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Honestly, the only way you can deal with it is to put time between you and the ghoster.
You will never understand why they did it, and will waste your time trying to ponder it.
At some point you will stop thinking about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Happens quite alot I'm afraid ,it's just extremely rude but don't let.ot get you down it happens and it's just part and parcel with the site, their loss babe |
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The only thing you can do is move on
It's so common place especially on here, so many are just here for the chase, the chat, the w*nk fodder, they get off on what they could do, with no intention of ever actually meeting |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
Sadly this seems common here,
People get what they want and then move on to the next
I know it's easier said than done, but try to forget them if you can,it's a shame people can't be upfront with others though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you deal with being ghosted, when they say they want same as you (regular nsa) and even say they gonna call next day? "
Seriously treat yourself to that doxy. You'll never worry about a let down again 
Oh, don't give your number out, till you've spoke for a bit.
(Don't tell me you had and he still ghosted)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unfortunately getting used to it here
Good chats etc and think getting on and then nothing
Swap numbers in prep for meet and then nothing
Or had meet and then ghost |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How do you deal with being ghosted, when they say they want same as you (regular nsa) and even say they gonna call next day?
Seriously treat yourself to that doxy. You'll never worry about a let down again
Oh, don't give your number out, till you've spoke for a bit.
(Don't tell me you had and he still ghosted) "
Yep but now blocked. Thought it would be ok as we're meeting |
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It's happened to me, I echo what the others say, don't bother trying to think what YOU did I think the issue is solely with them. Funny tho the guy who ghosted me popped back up and viewed my profile a fair few times recently!  I didn't interact, I wanted to but it would have just been a waste of time. Move on, happy swinging! |
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It’s such a shitty thing to do OP. Ghosting is the worst. Nothing you can do but move on.
If you both agreed that you want something regular before you met then it’s either that he didn’t mean it but thought you wouldn’t meet him if he only offered a one off. Or, he didn’t think there was enough chemistry for a regular meet.
Maybe try meet the next guy with different expectations and only discuss regular meets after your had the first one? I think you have to be a cold and ruthless on here to stop your feelings getting hurt. Good luck op. |
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Its more common than folk may think so easy to spot after being on scene a while I sonetime play along and when clear its a bloke pretending to be female i just how big is cock amazingly they vanish  |
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I forget then quite quickly. I put my mind elsewhere. If fab was your only source of partners, I'd recommend looking in public, clubs etc too. It's really no benefit to think of such people ever again |
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"How do you deal with being ghosted, when they say they want same as you (regular nsa) and even say they gonna call next day? "
Truth is that although many join FAB with the intention of joining the lifestyle a lot if people get cold feet when the reality hits them. It's nothing you have done wrong. Look at all the unverified people here. Many join only for the fantasy and will never meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tell the ghosters how lame and cowardly it is to not have the human decency to reply to you then delete and move on...
If this prompts a reply respond by saying 'I'm blocking you as I prefer people with a bit more backbone, good luck' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me and a lady friend got talking to a couple that organised to go to the club. We all spoke for a few weeks before the club night. Every thing was going fine then on the day we all met up for a nice meal and a few drinks before heading to the club. Had a great laugh, chat and had a great foursome at the club, the next day deleted us of fab and ignored our WhatsApp chat.
The lady of the couple was very new to swinging so maybe her partner wasn't comfortable her being with another guy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The only thing you can do is move on
It's so common place especially on here, so many are just here for the chase, the chat, the w*nk fodder, they get off on what they could do, with no intention of ever actually meeting "
Yep...i used to be on here 4 years ago and theres alot of the above going on now which is a shame that theres folk on here wasting other folks time.
This is for the genuine swingers, they could use the many dating apps to get there ego's stroked. |
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"How do you deal with being ghosted, when they say they want same as you (regular nsa) and even say they gonna call next day? "
i'm sorry to say but it happens to so many of us that you're not special. We've been ghosted this week, and will probably be ghosted again soon. There's nothing you can do about it, but it truelly is a them issue, not you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you deal with being ghosted, when they say they want same as you (regular nsa) and even say they gonna call next day? "
Its very painful. I had it happen to me about a year ago. He said everything I wanted to hear, was falling in love with me etc etc. We met up, had sex then that was that. I had maybe 3 messages from him and then never heard from him again. It really cut me up if I'm honest. I found the only way to get him out of my system was to find someone else to concentrate on. I hope you're ok, my inbox is open if you want to talk |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's happened to me, I echo what the others say, don't bother trying to think what YOU did I think the issue is solely with them. Funny tho the guy who ghosted me popped back up and viewed my profile a fair few times recently! I didn't interact, I wanted to but it would have just been a waste of time. Move on, happy swinging! "
Exactly this it’s happened to me, nothing you can do it’s out of your control. It hurts especially if you were friends… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When i was younger, being so-called ghosted by so-called cunt friends did hurt. Now I don't give a mothers fuck to them and they can go an fuck their mouth.
Most ghosters are cunts/shallow bastards
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Way too many do that on here! Men women and couples chat to you wanting to meet etc then either block you for no reason or just ignore your messages after arranging to meet..
I mean how genuine do you have to be these days to get a genuine meet? Met a few lovely people on here but seems like 80% on here are just dreamers or get off on talking dirty to fiddle with themselves then boom gone!
one thing I can’t stand is ignorance when I’m messaged I always reply back either interested or not… most on here don’t bother to reply back!
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I expect it now so I don’t meet anywhere near as much as I have done in the past. The majority at least ghost before the first phone call now so that saves me many wasted evenings.
Move on and trust your gut I guess, any vibes they aren’t looking for the same then quit while ahead |
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By * and BCouple
over a year ago
Durham |
We were Ghosted by a girl a few years ago. She popped back up again on fab a few weeks ago. Messaged us and apologised for her previous behavior. A bit of chat how much she liked us. Then guess what???? Yes ghosted again. Lucky swerve ball for us, do we really want to meet up with someone who is so disrespectful?? We think not. Beware people of the crazy fab people  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm being ghosted by someone who I thought would never do that to me. He came off the site and never told me why. We have known each other a few years and chatted on Kik nearly every day. He was arranging parties for us down south for next year too. I have no idea what's happened. I've sent him a Kik message and two texts and there's nothing from him so I'm absolutely flummoxed as to why he's done this. It's not like him x |
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I'm a genuine person who is too trusting sometimes.Its hard to understand someone who comes across as personable and keen to meet up then inexplicably just stops messaging.Can't see it being anything other than a cheap thrill pissing people off. |
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By *oyRoy06Man
over a year ago
leighton buzzard |
"Get ghosted all the time.
Little chat, seems to go well then boom ignored into oblivion.
Their loss not yours. Chalk it off and keep on moving forward x
What do they get out of doing it?
"
No idea ... just seems a waste of time. Decent thing to do is just be honest and say you're no longer interested.
But unforunately those who ghost don't think the same way |
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What about when it’s someone you’ve known for two and a half years. You’ve spent a lot of time with them. You respected them like no other person you’ve ever met. You’ve had so many honest conversations with them. Then they ghost you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What about when it’s someone you’ve known for two and a half years. You’ve spent a lot of time with them. You respected them like no other person you’ve ever met. You’ve had so many honest conversations with them. Then they ghost you. "
There is most likely a reason for it. Whatever it may be. Sorry to hear that though! |
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Ghosting is cowardly.
Yet I think the zombies are worse, arrogant twats that don’t give a shit about anyone else’s feelings.
It’s the ones that disappear after months of meeting, those are the ones that sting.
It’s probably the number one reason I’m on fab, I’ve got needs I’d like to meet but I will never fully trust someone to settle down. |
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By *aliceWoman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
It's been really common for me the last couple of days. Couples who'll chat and flirt and swap details with me and next thing you know you're ghosted and blocked.
A bit more kindness would go a long way.  |
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"How do you deal with being ghosted, when they say they want same as you (regular nsa) and even say they gonna call next day? "
Move on to the one lol don’t linger plenty of choice to choose from always have a sub on standby should one be flakey |
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It is quite common on here the best thing you can do is move on and find some one else. who is worth your time and effert just see it as there loss. I wish you all the best on finding what your looking for |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been ghosted at so many points in conversations. It's not you, it's them, as corny as that sounds. I have ghosted people myself (I am ashamed to say), and it was often due to a drop in my confidence then. I now make a point of messaging to let people know if I meet someone and want to focus on the that one individual. Similarly If a ghosting occurs to me i thank people for their time and share the love by wishing them the best. Lifes too short. R |
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"It's been really common for me the last couple of days. Couples who'll chat and flirt and swap details with me and next thing you know you're ghosted and blocked.
A bit more kindness would go a long way. "
Kindness and manners seem to be short supply on here these days.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've said it before and say it again, Move on but easier said than done at times.
We are all different and what appears ok/good to me may appear very different to another and possibly misundertood etc or they are more private than you or something made them worrried becuse of past experiences and o matter what you tell them they are not interested - it happens, its not nice but they may have a valid reason but it does not mean you haddone wrong/etc/etc as its their choice |
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"They get one chance. They fuck around, then that’s it. They can fuck off. "
Snap
The funny bit is when they then create a second profile and try and have the same conversation again -block block block my block list is bigger than my friend list |
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Just move on simples part of fab life. I save time if say a couple and are not after quite few message interactions prepared to have quick convo on phone as ice breaker on phone then I just say thanks but no thanks.
Bit of self preservation as we all know some singles esp men known to create other accounts.
I do same with single ladies |
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Normally I say it doesnt matter if someone ghosts you or not.
But I've had it recently from someone that has been in my life for over a quarter of a century. Finding it hard that he has ghosted me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Normally I say it doesnt matter if someone ghosts you or not.
But I've had it recently from someone that has been in my life for over a quarter of a century. Finding it hard that he has ghosted me "
That’s really tough  |
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"Normally I say it doesnt matter if someone ghosts you or not.
But I've had it recently from someone that has been in my life for over a quarter of a century. Finding it hard that he has ghosted me
That’s really tough "
irony... I posted this post and he has rang me this evening   |
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"How do you deal with being ghosted, when they say they want same as you (regular nsa) and even say they gonna call next day? "
There should be 'how to deal list' that this site makes single guys read before joining. Something like
1. Being ghosted will always happen. Reasons are irrelevant and rarely personal
2.you will get blocked numerous times, regardless of how long or amazing a conversation has been.
3. Getting stood up is a possibility even though its considered poor form
4. Number of responses to your initial messages will be so low in comparison to your tinder experience it won't make sense
5. Unlike tinder on here you might feel like an unwelcome guest at a dinner party, it's not personal.
6. The site is managed by volunteer members. You might get a slap on the wrist unfairly and rules are used with no consistency a temporary ban will feel like you've been put on the naughty step. It will wind you up.
If these things don't bother you and you can navigate the site so it's worth it for you you'll have fun... |
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"How do you deal with being ghosted, when they say they want same as you (regular nsa) and even say they gonna call next day?
There should be 'how to deal list' that this site makes single guys read before joining. Something like
1. Being ghosted will always happen. Reasons are irrelevant and rarely personal
2.you will get blocked numerous times, regardless of how long or amazing a conversation has been.
3. Getting stood up is a possibility even though its considered poor form
4. Number of responses to your initial messages will be so low in comparison to your tinder experience it won't make sense
5. Unlike tinder on here you might feel like an unwelcome guest at a dinner party, it's not personal.
6. The site is managed by volunteer members. You might get a slap on the wrist unfairly and rules are used with no consistency a temporary ban will feel like you've been put on the naughty step. It will wind you up.
If these things don't bother you and you can navigate the site so it's worth it for you you'll have fun..."
Well said... Add to no 3
Your meet will cancel you for someone else without asking. But that's ok because a. She's female, b. Swinging is about being free and easy. C. You should be OK with this as you should be grateful.
If you get annoyed at this then that's your fault not theirs. |
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Been ghosted a few times
Arranged a coffee meet with a view to go back to there place to enjoy a bi mmf, chatted for hours and then nothing.
Arranged a guy to come back to mine and again loads of chat and nothing
It is just shite, I realise real life gets in the way but at least say I’m here for the kicks! I can supply those
On the plus side I have had a few meets and they have been good!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Must remind ourselves this is not a dating site and we do have freedom of choice I try to be honest upfront and obviously if they won’t accept it’s easier to ghost and best to move on, swinging is free stress-free at most times  |
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I know this isn't a dating site although it wouldn't matter if it was. The same principle applies.
Of course there's freedom of choice, but when someone makes an arrangement but then changes it without asking, then saying I should understand. That is just bad manners and disrespectful.
Then wonder why people get annoyed!
Then they send me a message saying I'm being aggressive and controlling when quite clearly they don't know me! |
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"Must remind ourselves this is not a dating site and we do have freedom of choice I try to be honest upfront and obviously if they won’t accept it’s easier to ghost and best to move on, swinging is free stress-free at most times
If you have messaged and explained why, that isn't ghosting. You have explained and moved on. If folk continue to message you trying to continue with their directive that it is just rude in our opinion "
And if the said person was supposed to be a friend? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interesting my thoughts a narcissist hates being told no and are used to manipulating and weaselling their way into getting what they want.
So getting a no gets them riled up and confused because they don't see why they are being told no.  |
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"Interesting my thoughts a narcissist hates being told no and are used to manipulating and weaselling their way into getting what they want.
So getting a no gets them riled up and confused because they don't see why they are being told no. "
Takes two people to tango! I'm sure at some point you'll piss someone else off |
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"How do you deal with being ghosted, when they say they want same as you (regular nsa) and even say they gonna call next day? "
Voodoo doll and then Move one
I’ve never had it where I’ve had sex and then been ghosted, it’s always before meeting or they cancel with some excuse and then ghost. Literally no fucks are given. It annoys me as I’m particular with who I give my time of day to but then I just think I was probably lucky |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As mentioned it happens all the time.
It’s tough but try not to let it bother you or dent your confidence.
People come on here usually when they are horny and looking for a bit of fantasy release. Once they’ve climaxed they realise they don’t actually want to play for real.
Be patient, there are genuine people out there. |
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Theres a lot of strange things happenning..is it ghosting? Cars braking down Dogs needing the vets and golf events over running .....I am innto double figures in a row . at this rate I am in danger of closing up . so iam buying a machine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people are impossible to talk to we can chat agree to disagree but all amicable, in normal times there’s no need to discuss further so move on yes !! Yes found this recently so easy to block but then they find other ways to upset you via forum or friends |
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"Some people are impossible to talk to we can chat agree to disagree but all amicable, in normal times there’s no need to discuss further so move on yes !! Yes found this recently so easy to block but then they find other ways to upset you via forum or friends "
We had sorted it out. But you're friend thinks otherwise! By sending messages to my friends. Please tell her to stop and apologise to me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It's after meets that it gets me. Especially when they have said they'll message me or see me next day etc.
I kind of expect it before meets now, but after meets proper upsets me
PS thanks for all the comments |
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"Some people are impossible to talk to we can chat agree to disagree but all amicable, in normal times there’s no need to discuss further so move on yes !! Yes found this recently so easy to block but then they find other ways to upset you via forum or friends "
I need to ask you something? |
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"The only thing you can do is move on
It's so common place especially on here, so many are just here for the chase, the chat, the w*nk fodder, they get off on what they could do, with no intention of ever actually meeting "
Dreamers. |
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Happned to us by 2 females..1st one was great, spoke for a few weeks..planned a social then she had to cancel it and that was that...I couldn't even find her profile.. 2nd one..spoke for about 2 weeks..and bang the msgs just stopped.. she ignored us on here and our WhatsApp messages...worst thing about that was her profile was still active..just no need for being so shit to people... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Happened to me on Friday.
She contacted me first on the Wednesday, gave me her number after a few messages. Talked on WhatsApp all through Thursday and Friday up until 4:30. Supposed to meet at 6 and had planned my evening/night around it. Sent one last messsge at 6 with no reply. Moved on and had a good night out with a friend watching a few bands. I don't take it personally, people have there reason's, haven't contacted her since just left her to it. Not worth getting bitter about just move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve been ghosted so many times I keep wanting to give up with this whole thing. I get talking to women and think it’s going really well for them to never reply and arrange a meet and stand me up at the last minute. Why bother if you have no intention of meeting?! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’ve been ghosted so many times I keep wanting to give up with this whole thing. I get talking to women and think it’s going really well for them to never reply and arrange a meet and stand me up at the last minute. Why bother if you have no intention of meeting?! "
It's being ghosted after a meet thst has nearly made me quit. I just dont get why you would do that |
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Ghosting is a type of behaviour that people who don’t have the courage or decency to tell they changed their minds or you are not exactly what they are looking for! I also believe they literally don’t know how to tell “no” in a kindly way or they simply don’t give a f***, either way, nothing good comes from a ghosting, so I ghost them back and move on to next. |
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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago
Newry Down |
Being ghosted is an adumbration of potential future problems that have been successfully avoided.
The earlier that an individual's erratic, irrational, unpredictable or bizarre behaviour can be manifested the better.
I think the expression-dodged a bullet-is apt.  |
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I’ve been contacted tonight by a lady who ghosted me three years ago. We were FWBs.
Instead of saying “Jay I’ve met someone I’m going to try to make a go of it” she ghosted me.
How shall I play it I wonder lol? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Seems every guy I've met on here wants a regular fwb arrangement. Funnily enough, after a meet, I've never heard from any of them again. Did feel a bit shitty at the time, but at the end of the day, its their loss. I tend not to dwell too long on it and move on. |
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Hey, as a expert in being ghosted (not just on here but in the dating world too) both before and after meeting.
I’m quite amazed of the amount of women who have been ghosted. Didn’t think it would happen to you if there was the possibility of having nsa sex.
I guess you have to understand that although this is a swinging/sex site. You should still be treated with respect and honesty.
So put yourself first! If they were cowardly enough in ghosting you. They clearly weren’t worth your time and effort. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you deal with being ghosted, when they say they want same as you (regular nsa) and even say they gonna call next day? "
Sites full of them type of people trying to meet a sexy curvy lady for oral worship always starts great then ends in ghosting x |
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"Hey, as a expert in being ghosted (not just on here but in the dating world too) both before and after meeting.
I’m quite amazed of the amount of women who have been ghosted. Didn’t think it would happen to you if there was the possibility of having nsa sex.
I guess you have to understand that although this is a swinging/sex site. You should still be treated with respect and honesty.
So put yourself first! If they were cowardly enough in ghosting you. They clearly weren’t worth your time and effort. "
Exactly, you’d think with how difficult it is for single men to get meets that they’d jump at the chance instead of discarding women without a care. Turns out that being a dick covers all genders. |
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