FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Female safety
Female safety
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" I'm so glad me an K only play together as I don't drink I'm 100% aware and focused on her safety. We recently meet a single guy together at there place but we had played once pre covid in a club and kept in touch since so a lot of trust, rapport has been built up. Even in clubs you need to have your wits about you as some guys don't listen to no, stop the first time its said and a forceful no back off is needed. Sadly a few also try to remove condoms when the woman isn't looking, I've caught a guy taking the condom off before trying to enter another woman in the club bare and pulled him on it. Even if it was something we were into (we are not) there's no way I would agree to K going to a guy off fans house or hotel room its just way to dangerous sadly. The horrors stories from single women friends are just to numerous , from guys not been able to get it up become angry, agressive, guys not allowing the lady to leave and demanding more, no stopping when they are been to rough and causing physical damage to the lady through to incidents where the lady fought their way out to an exit. I'm also aware that going home on a one night stand / hook up will have just as much chance as it going wrong as it would on a swinging meet. Also just my opinion but I do think fab is (especially since covid) attracting many guys with poor social skills, issues and beliefs common in the incel movement, who haven't been able to meet women through normal life means and see fab as a meat market of free prostitutes, they have zero respect for the women and if someone does arrange a quick meet with someone like this then it has a high chance of going wrong. KJ" ^^^ All of this with bells on... Unfortunately the egotistically self entitlement element has made woman even more careful about what they do were the go.. Woman have become prisoners in society... To be taught from an early age that you must look over your shoulder at every turn and fear every man is not a way to live. It is not for women to learn. It is the men of the world that need to learn. Men of the world need to understand that women fear them and that it is not right. Men need to call out bad behaviour. Men need to stand up to those men who are the asshole and dicks to women. A woman should not have to fight and pled her case to be believed that she was assaulted, groped, r.a.p.e.d to another man, another woman, door steward, police, doctor, hospital. They should believe her from the start. She should be supported from the start. Woman should not need to fear the repercussions of wearing what ever the fuck they want. Being individual. Standing out. I could continue and rant on and on about this.... We live in a very fucked up world.... Side note :- woman also need to stop bitching and fighting amongst themselves. It is men that has created the media that has created The envy, the guilt, the jealousy, the brain washing and the in fighting. Woman at stronger than men. Men know this. Men fear this. Men will to anything in their power to belittle and keep women beneath them. I was once a man. I learned the truth. I am now a man and a feminist. And if you are a man looking at all this going. This is all Rubbish. Take a deep in ward look at yourself and the men and woman around you.. If you can not see it. You are blinded by the social conditioning that has made you the person you are... | |||
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"There are plenty of cases of women falsely accusing men of sexual assault or ra-e. It's innocent proven guilty in this country. And women need to think about the mixed messages they expose men and boys to from an early age. My son respected women till he went to university. Boys see porn from a very young age." What changed when he got to uni? | |||
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"One rouge copper. It’s happened. It will happen again. Do you stop walking down the street when it looks like rain, for fear of being struck by lightning? The changes are probably the same. " Rouge? Was he wearing make-up during the attack? Honestly, these cross dressers get worse  | |||
" I'm so glad me an K only play together as I don't drink I'm 100% aware and focused on her safety. We recently meet a single guy together at there place but we had played once pre covid in a club and kept in touch since so a lot of trust, rapport has been built up. Even in clubs you need to have your wits about you as some guys don't listen to no, stop the first time its said and a forceful no back off is needed. Sadly a few also try to remove condoms when the woman isn't looking, I've caught a guy taking the condom off before trying to enter another woman in the club bare and pulled him on it. Even if it was something we were into (we are not) there's no way I would agree to K going to a guy off fans house or hotel room its just way to dangerous sadly. The horrors stories from single women friends are just to numerous , from guys not been able to get it up become angry, agressive, guys not allowing the lady to leave and demanding more, no stopping when they are been to rough and causing physical damage to the lady through to incidents where the lady fought their way out to an exit. I'm also aware that going home on a one night stand / hook up will have just as much chance as it going wrong as it would on a swinging meet. Also just my opinion but I do think fab is (especially since covid) attracting many guys with poor social skills, issues and beliefs common in the incel movement, who haven't been able to meet women through normal life means and see fab as a meat market of free prostitutes, they have zero respect for the women and if someone does arrange a quick meet with someone like this then it has a high chance of going wrong. KJ ^^^ All of this with bells on... Unfortunately the egotistically self entitlement element has made woman even more careful about what they do were the go.. Woman have become prisoners in society... To be taught from an early age that you must look over your shoulder at every turn and fear every man is not a way to live. It is not for women to learn. It is the men of the world that need to learn. Men of the world need to understand that women fear them and that it is not right. Men need to call out bad behaviour. Men need to stand up to those men who are the asshole and dicks to women. A woman should not have to fight and pled her case to be believed that she was assaulted, groped, r.a.p.e.d to another man, another woman, door steward, police, doctor, hospital. They should believe her from the start. She should be supported from the start. Woman should not need to fear the repercussions of wearing what ever the fuck they want. Being individual. Standing out. I could continue and rant on and on about this.... We live in a very fucked up world.... Side note :- woman also need to stop bitching and fighting amongst themselves. It is men that has created the media that has created The envy, the guilt, the jealousy, the brain washing and the in fighting. Woman at stronger than men. Men know this. Men fear this. Men will to anything in their power to belittle and keep women beneath them. I was once a man. I learned the truth. I am now a man and a feminist. And if you are a man looking at all this going. This is all Rubbish. Take a deep in ward look at yourself and the men and woman around you.. If you can not see it. You are blinded by the social conditioning that has made you the person you are..." Thank you. | |||
"There are plenty of cases of women falsely accusing men of sexual assault or ra-e. It's innocent proven guilty in this country. And women need to think about the mixed messages they expose men and boys to from an early age. My son respected women till he went to university. Boys see porn from a very young age." Could you share some sources that show there are “plenty of cases” of false accusations? Because the official statistics from the CPS estimate that false allegations make up 0.62% of cases. Also what are you referring to when you talk about women exposing men and boys to mixed messages? | |||
"There are plenty of cases of women falsely accusing men of sexual assault or ra-e. It's innocent proven guilty in this country. And women need to think about the mixed messages they expose men and boys to from an early age. My son respected women till he went to university. Boys see porn from a very young age. Could you share some sources that show there are “plenty of cases” of false accusations? Because the official statistics from the CPS estimate that false allegations make up 0.62% of cases. Also what are you referring to when you talk about women exposing men and boys to mixed messages?" This 
Also why did he respect women until he went to University??
KJ | |||
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"One rouge copper. It’s happened. It will happen again. Do you stop walking down the street when it looks like rain, for fear of being struck by lightning? The changes are probably the same. " You know what it might be time for? An open and honest conversation with your female friends and relatives where you ask questions about how many times they've been assaulted, or fearful of assault, touched inappropriately etc and actually listen to their answers. You'll soon learn lightening has struck almost every single one of them. | |||
"One rouge copper. It’s happened. It will happen again. Do you stop walking down the street when it looks like rain, for fear of being struck by lightning? The changes are probably the same. You know what it might be time for? An open and honest conversation with your female friends and relatives where you ask questions about how many times they've been assaulted, or fearful of assault, touched inappropriately etc and actually listen to their answers. You'll soon learn lightening has struck almost every single one of them. " | |||
"One rouge copper. It’s happened. It will happen again. Do you stop walking down the street when it looks like rain, for fear of being struck by lightning? The changes are probably the same. You know what it might be time for? An open and honest conversation with your female friends and relatives where you ask questions about how many times they've been assaulted, or fearful of assault, touched inappropriately etc and actually listen to their answers. You'll soon learn lightening has struck almost every single one of them. " Sadly most have been struck by that lightning more than the once as well 
KJ | |||
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"One rouge copper. It’s happened. It will happen again. Do you stop walking down the street when it looks like rain, for fear of being struck by lightning? The changes are probably the same. " It’s not just one rouge copper!! Just because he killed her doesn’t mean that hundreds of women still don’t get attacked!! I’ve had it at least twice on here!! It’s a sad fact that women need to be careful when on this scene! I am with a lot of people here, where they say only meet in a club, have a get out plan or even trust your gut! I know it’s awful, as women we must protect ourselves as there are men out there who can’t control themselves! So keep being safe and only do things that you feel comfortable with! For me, I too only meet in clubs and never drink to excess. I know how I’m getting home and know my surroundings. I have a change of clothes with flat shoes in my bag. On occasional single meets, I check their profile out and the people they have met, do some good research! Make sure I’m comfortable before think I want to play with that person! It’s always unnerving to find new players, and there are some great people out there! If you have a shred of doubt, leave it! | |||
"The biggest indicator of a man’s respect for women is not his relationship with his mother, it’s his peer group in adolescence and his ability to think for himself. Safety? I’m most likely to be harmed by a committed partner who lovee me, every woman on fab is. Two women a week are murdered by their partners and we are most likely to have consent violated by someone we trust. Trust your instincts. If someone ever says or does something that makes you feel uncomfortable, put your clothes on and walk away. Keep your location turned on, and make sure you put your meets in your phone calendar and their addresses in your contacts. Increases the odds of prosecution if an incident like that occurs. But seriously. Never be afraid to walk away. You can try again another day. Do not take your clothes off until you see how they handle disagreement or hearing the word no. If they shout you down or in any way disrespect your right to your own opinion, walk away. No orgasm is worth the risk. IMO it’s worth running a clare’s law check on anyone you’re considering playing privately with, unless you know they have a DBS, " I was thinking about the Clares Law thing the other day. That would only work providing they do give their real name etc. Many think that's too much to ask for and will have concerns you're a bunny boiler. Catch 22, coz we all wanna feel safe, including the men. | |||
"I'm not looking to meet anymore. The physical has been an issue a few times even after making it quite clear it would be social only, reading their veris etc. The mental is more damaging for me though, the lies, attempted manipulation etc. I'm put off sex completely. I may still attend clubs in the future." Good move, this sites full of perverts  | |||
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"No different to at a bar. You might be able to see their face but they could still be the nicest person in the world or a serial killer. It’s the law of averages though… there’s far less rapists and murderers out there than there are normal decent people. You can never know, you just have to keep safe in any way you can and make sure someone knows where you are. That should be the case for any individual." Do feel you’re more likely to toss (excuse pun) a bias die on here compare to a pub, just by the very nature of the site. | |||
"The biggest indicator of a man’s respect for women is not his relationship with his mother, it’s his peer group in adolescence and his ability to think for himself. Safety? I’m most likely to be harmed by a committed partner who lovee me, every woman on fab is. Two women a week are murdered by their partners and we are most likely to have consent violated by someone we trust. Trust your instincts. If someone ever says or does something that makes you feel uncomfortable, put your clothes on and walk away. Keep your location turned on, and make sure you put your meets in your phone calendar and their addresses in your contacts. Increases the odds of prosecution if an incident like that occurs. But seriously. Never be afraid to walk away. You can try again another day. Do not take your clothes off until you see how they handle disagreement or hearing the word no. If they shout you down or in any way disrespect your right to your own opinion, walk away. No orgasm is worth the risk. IMO it’s worth running a clare’s law check on anyone you’re considering playing privately with, unless you know they have a DBS, I was thinking about the Clares Law thing the other day. That would only work providing they do give their real name etc. Many think that's too much to ask for and will have concerns you're a bunny boiler. Catch 22, coz we all wanna feel safe, including the men." Yup. Hence clubs - my local, F, has my back, and was over at Townhouse the other day which also feels safe. Thing is, the world, including the swinging scene, is full of amazing men who are ok with not just one but several socials before play, and building friendships slowly in the club. If someone doesn’t have time for the two of us to build trust, that’s ok, I have a doxy. | |||
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"The biggest indicator of a man’s respect for women is not his relationship with his mother, it’s his peer group in adolescence and his ability to think for himself. Safety? I’m most likely to be harmed by a committed partner who lovee me, every woman on fab is. Two women a week are murdered by their partners and we are most likely to have consent violated by someone we trust. Trust your instincts. If someone ever says or does something that makes you feel uncomfortable, put your clothes on and walk away. Keep your location turned on, and make sure you put your meets in your phone calendar and their addresses in your contacts. Increases the odds of prosecution if an incident like that occurs. But seriously. Never be afraid to walk away. You can try again another day. Do not take your clothes off until you see how they handle disagreement or hearing the word no. If they shout you down or in any way disrespect your right to your own opinion, walk away. No orgasm is worth the risk. IMO it’s worth running a clare’s law check on anyone you’re considering playing privately with, unless you know they have a DBS, " This is so true. If strangers on the street would be the ONLY danger we had to worry about... No, it is far from the case and the public harrassment and violence is just the tip of the iceberg. The most likely person to assault or coerce a woman is someone she knows. Personally, the news did not affect my strategies to keep myself safe - I still use the same ones as usual. The fact that I have to have multiple strategies makes FS fairly ineffective for me to use on my own. I have not been in an intimate situation on my own with anyone I met via FS - except when the scenario involved my play partner and he was my safety assurance and I had a chance to relax and be intimate without any worry. Both of these men were lovely however I needed that extra guarantee that I will be completely safe in order to be in a sexual situation with them. Another option I use is going with the person to one of the clubs I go to after the initial date(s). So yes, all those "fancy a fuck?", " feeling spontaneous?", "I will be staying at a hotel in your area tomorrow" are useless spam to me and not viable options (aside from just being plain stupid). | |||
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"As I've said before...women on here should stop whining and fuck more...same for couples, stop being so up-yourselves and get fucking...clubs...lower your prices, make it easier to gain entry to your wonderful establishments...keep these perverts etc off the streets. You're all doing ok, but could do alot more to help "Hm, I wonder why there is not more "fucking" going on? What could possibly be the reason? | |||
"One rouge copper. It’s happened. It will happen again. Do you stop walking down the street when it looks like rain, for fear of being struck by lightning? The changes are probably the same. You know what it might be time for? An open and honest conversation with your female friends and relatives where you ask questions about how many times they've been assaulted, or fearful of assault, touched inappropriately etc and actually listen to their answers. You'll soon learn lightening has struck almost every single one of them. " I did exactly this (asked every women of my acquaintance) about three years ago and I was shocked by the responses. On the first occasion I was thinking that my friend was overreacting and the instances were isolated. On talking to others I realised that everyone of them had encountered unwelcome advances or touches or had things said to them in their every day lives that went beyond what what us men would have hitherto said was just "harmless flirting in an appropriate setting". Things happen to women because they are women which leave them shaken and vunerable and it is us men collectively who are to blame and it's up to us individually to recognise it and think first.I urge you to speak to women friends and daughters; ask and believe what you are told. | |||
"One rouge copper. It’s happened. It will happen again. Do you stop walking down the street when it looks like rain, for fear of being struck by lightning? The changes are probably the same. You know what it might be time for? An open and honest conversation with your female friends and relatives where you ask questions about how many times they've been assaulted, or fearful of assault, touched inappropriately etc and actually listen to their answers. You'll soon learn lightening has struck almost every single one of them. I did exactly this (asked every women of my acquaintance) about three years ago and I was shocked by the responses. On the first occasion I was thinking that my friend was overreacting and the instances were isolated. On talking to others I realised that everyone of them had encountered unwelcome advances or touches or had things said to them in their every day lives that went beyond what what us men would have hitherto said was just "harmless flirting in an appropriate setting". Things happen to women because they are women which leave them shaken and vunerable and it is us men collectively who are to blame and it's up to us individually to recognise it and think first.I urge you to speak to women friends and daughters; ask and believe what you are told. " Thank you | |||
"As I've said before...women on here should stop whining and fuck more...same for couples, stop being so up-yourselves and get fucking...clubs...lower your prices, make it easier to gain entry to your wonderful establishments...keep these perverts etc off the streets. You're all doing ok, but could do alot more to help "wow. Cant tell if you're telling a dark joke or serious.  | |||
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"As I've said before...women on here should stop whining and fuck more...same for couples, stop being so up-yourselves and get fucking...clubs...lower your prices, make it easier to gain entry to your wonderful establishments...keep these perverts etc off the streets. You're all doing ok, but could do alot more to help "We often fuck a lot, just with the right people. Some men are ever so right not to be getting in on the fun. | |||
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"As I've said before...women on here should stop whining and fuck more...same for couples, stop being so up-yourselves and get fucking...clubs...lower your prices, make it easier to gain entry to your wonderful establishments...keep these perverts etc off the streets. You're all doing ok, but could do alot more to help "And right there is a massive red flag. | |||
"As I've said before...women on here should stop whining and fuck more...same for couples, stop being so up-yourselves and get fucking...clubs...lower your prices, make it easier to gain entry to your wonderful establishments...keep these perverts etc off the streets. You're all doing ok, but could do alot more to help
And right there is a massive red flag."Don't worry sugar, I won't be meeting anybody, never have, never will  | |||
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"As I've said before...women on here should stop whining and fuck more...same for couples, stop being so up-yourselves and get fucking...clubs...lower your prices, make it easier to gain entry to your wonderful establishments...keep these perverts etc off the streets. You're all doing ok, but could do alot more to help "Blocked! Damnnnnn! Was going to start the fucking  | |||
"As I've said before...women on here should stop whining and fuck more...same for couples, stop being so up-yourselves and get fucking...clubs...lower your prices, make it easier to gain entry to your wonderful establishments...keep these perverts etc off the streets. You're all doing ok, but could do alot more to help
Blocked! Damnnnnn!
Was going to start the fucking "Nope, looks like his account has been suspended by admin  | |||
"As I've said before...women on here should stop whining and fuck more...same for couples, stop being so up-yourselves and get fucking...clubs...lower your prices, make it easier to gain entry to your wonderful establishments...keep these perverts etc off the streets. You're all doing ok, but could do alot more to help
Blocked! Damnnnnn!
Was going to start the fucking
Nope, looks like his account has been suspended by admin "Who was it????  | |||
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"In light what's going on in the news about women's safety. How do women feel about meeting strangers online?" When I have played as a single female- before I paired up with my partner in crime, always met for a social in a neutral place away from home life, tell someone you know already in the scene where you are off too for safety and make sure they have decent recent veris. If they keep hiding their veris and/or won’t show their display summary - why - they need to show you they are safe and genuine. SXx | |||
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