FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Safe sex with someone who plays bare
Safe sex with someone who plays bare
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It's a personal decision. Only you can decide what the risk level is likely to be.
But you could ask some questions... Do they appear happy to use protection where requested? How many people do they play with bareback? How many with protection? Do they engage in other sexually risky behaviour? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it too risky to have protected sex with someone who plays bare, play unprotected oral? "
Risky in what sense? That you might get an std you mean? Often the ones playing bare these days take their sexual health even more seriously and are regularly tested and use prep to prevent hiv infection etc. You can't assume the other is riddled just because they play bare and the risk with oral is so low anyway if you're the one recieving and that's assuming the other person has something to pass on.
Ask questions and be open and honest, if the other person shuts down on you or tries to change the subject they might not be your best choice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If unsure weather she’s clean or not then have a taste down there to start with.
If you suspect she’s not as clean as she said she was due to her pussy tasting out of date then that way you know not to put mister todger in there and boom, disaster averted |
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"If unsure weather she’s clean or not then have a taste down there to start with.
If you suspect she’s not as clean as she said she was due to her pussy tasting out of date then that way you know not to put mister todger in there and boom, disaster averted "
I am guessing this is tongue in cheek....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If unsure weather she’s clean or not then have a taste down there to start with.
If you suspect she’s not as clean as she said she was due to her pussy tasting out of date then that way you know not to put mister todger in there and boom, disaster averted "
Lol exactly m8  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If unsure weather she’s clean or not then have a taste down there to start with.
If you suspect she’s not as clean as she said she was due to her pussy tasting out of date then that way you know not to put mister todger in there and boom, disaster averted I am guessing this is tongue in cheek.... "
No….that’s if he wants anal, I’m just presuming here that he’s a gentleman and a gentleman never uses the emergency exit on a first date unless the girl is on fire, there for it would more likely be tounge in lips x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If unsure weather she’s clean or not then have a taste down there to start with.
If you suspect she’s not as clean as she said she was due to her pussy tasting out of date then that way you know not to put mister todger in there and boom, disaster averted
Lol exactly m8 "
Follo my Instagram for more life hacks and ways to lose money fast  |
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By *1bttmMan
over a year ago
Shoreditch east London |
"Is it too risky to have protected sex with someone who plays bare, play unprotected oral? "
Equally if someone is admitting to playing bare they're being honest. Can u guarantee the safety record or trust implicitly the one that plays safe?
Why would playing safe with someone that plays bare be too risky? What would u be doing that is putting u at risk? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If unsure weather she’s clean or not then have a taste down there to start with.
If you suspect she’s not as clean as she said she was due to her pussy tasting out of date then that way you know not to put mister todger in there and boom, disaster averted "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a mine field and part of this lifestyle. Isn't that the point of the condom but it only protects from part of the problem? Besides, some people will tell you whatever they think you want to hear irrespective of what they actually practice. For example, we've found plenty of "straight" guys here, that appear on a sister website to this one.
Take your pick wisely! |
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As someone who only plays bare & it's clear in my profile
I'm shocked by the accounts that show safe sex only as a preference or worse still have it as a preference & then have safe sex only no exceptions in their bios, that message me for meets
When I point out we aren't a good match they without fail say, oh I like bareback occasionally
I personally think a lot more play bare then will ever admit & safe sex in their preferences is just a token gesture or as one guy said to me it means I'll play safe if I'm asked to but otherwise I'll play bare |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As someone who only plays bare & it's clear in my profile
I'm shocked by the accounts that show safe sex only as a preference or worse still have it as a preference & then have safe sex only no exceptions in their bios, that message me for meets
When I point out we aren't a good match they without fail say, oh I like bareback occasionally
I personally think a lot more play bare then will ever admit & safe sex in their preferences is just a token gesture or as one guy said to me it means I'll play safe if I'm asked to but otherwise I'll play bare "
That’s probably because there is no “safe sex only” preference. If people have that selected it simply means safe sex is and option not a necessity.
I’m more concerned about those who say in there profile safe sex only, but at the same time do oral,cim and swallow? Lol |
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If people test frequently and get treatment for any issues, you'll probably find you're in a better position than with people who don't. HIV, for example, is a manageable condition and those with it like that aren't a typical risk that you'd find with others.
Sex and life have always carried risks and it's for each of us to manage them for ourselves. Abstinence is safer than sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't
People who play bare with everyone are selfish so I'd avoid. Prep only stops hiv
Or ask them to take a full std?"
How on earth does a personal choice like that make someone selfish?
Do they think your selfish for only playing safe?…no |
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By *uzzbMan
over a year ago
nr Sherborne |
I can't see the problem. Guys who play bare and are on PrEP and get tested regularly are actually safer than guys who never get tested but use a condom. If a bareback guy , with all the above provisos uses a condom to play safe, then he is a better bet than others .Also, I agree that many guys say they are straight and will only play safe , but do go bareback with men when they can. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I use the iPlaySafe app, it’s the only way to know for sure someone has been tested recently. Texts and pdfs can be faked easily!! There’s a website where you can buy fake STI results even!"
If they have an all clear test from last week but every night since they had a bareback gangbang... does the app declare that? |
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By *ndreaaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"I use the iPlaySafe app, it’s the only way to know for sure someone has been tested recently. Texts and pdfs can be faked easily!! There’s a website where you can buy fake STI results even!
If they have an all clear test from last week but every night since they had a bareback gangbang... does the app declare that? "
Of course not, why would you think that? It just tells you when someone last got tested and what the result was. It lowers the risk, it doesn’t remove it!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't
People who play bare with everyone are selfish so I'd avoid. Prep only stops hiv
Or ask them to take a full std?"
Selfish? How is 2 consenting adults having sex without condoms selfish? Do you see stis as different from other types of infections that are picked up from non sexual activity like UTIs and chest infections etc? If so why? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it too risky to have protected sex with someone who plays bare, play unprotected oral? "
If in doubt, leave it out.
Any first doubts about playing with someone is your instincts kicking in. |
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As a woman who only plays safe (if at all, these days), I avoid people who I know play bare with others. Sucking on a cock that I know has been bare inside 20 people who’ve also been playing bare with 20 people each has no appeal to me. It makes me feel a bit sick actually.
Unfortunately I’ve come to realise that most folk on here are playing bare every chance they get. So it’s pretty much all but stopped me from playing at all.
It all comes down to your risk appetite. I’ve always been fairly risk averse, but Covid has made me even worse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't
People who play bare with everyone are selfish so I'd avoid. Prep only stops hiv
Or ask them to take a full std?"
Ridiculous.
The fact is you have no way of ever knowing who has played bare and with how many people. Unless you're happy to take their word for it! As someone suggested earlier, there are many many people on here who quite simply LIE about such things.
Its your dick. Wear a condom, or not, but just don't expect people to be fully honest. Those that say they play safe on here may very well be having unprotected orgies behind closed doors.
Trust no one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't
People who play bare with everyone are selfish so I'd avoid. Prep only stops hiv
Or ask them to take a full std?
How on earth does a personal choice like that make someone selfish?
Do they think your selfish for only playing safe?…no"
It's selfish to play bare as std rates are all rising. Especiallly on a promiscuous sex site. We all would love to play bare, who wouldn't?
I am safe then with one or two regulars I've known over the years & trust, we are bare. The freedom without the worries. Keeps it special too.
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I played bareback ....stupid I know. Found out I had an sti, treated. All good and clear. He tested negative, how I don't know....he still claims he's negative, I just tested positive again....how is he negative |
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By *exysuzi and Mr.SCouple
over a year ago
CONISTON .Stoke Suburbia. Staffs. BARMOUTH. The Lakes (Monthly) |
"If unsure weather she’s clean or not then have a taste down there to start with.
If you suspect she’s not as clean as she said she was due to her pussy tasting out of date then that way you know not to put mister todger in there and boom, disaster averted "
This has made me giggle |
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"I played bareback ....stupid I know. Found out I had an sti, treated. All good and clear. He tested negative, how I don't know....he still claims he's negative, I just tested positive again....how is he negative"
If he’s the only person you’re having sex with, then he’s lying |
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"I played bare once. With a regular partner. She told me i was only person she was bare with. Till she slipped up and i found not. Now never again. "
That’s the trouble. People are selfish and they lie. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wouldn't
People who play bare with everyone are selfish so I'd avoid. Prep only stops hiv
Or ask them to take a full std?
Selfish? How is 2 consenting adults having sex without condoms selfish? Do you see stis as different from other types of infections that are picked up from non sexual activity like UTIs and chest infections etc? If so why? "
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"If unsure weather she’s clean or not then have a taste down there to start with.
If you suspect she’s not as clean as she said she was due to her pussy tasting out of date then that way you know not to put mister todger in there and boom, disaster averted
This has made me giggle"
Licking pussy is like drinking milk. You hope it tastes good, but you always have to sniff it first. Just to check. Then you don't need to taste is out of date. And if its bad, tip it down the sink and don't forget to rinse ir away else it will co.e back to haunt you again and again ???? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wouldn't
People who play bare with everyone are selfish so I'd avoid. Prep only stops hiv
Or ask them to take a full std?
How on earth does a personal choice like that make someone selfish?
Do they think your selfish for only playing safe?…no
It's selfish to play bare as std rates are all rising. Especiallly on a promiscuous sex site. We all would love to play bare, who wouldn't?
I am safe then with one or two regulars I've known over the years & trust, we are bare. The freedom without the worries. Keeps it special too.
"
If you are playing safe then those who play bare aren't any threat to you and you need not be concerned about rising std rates. I'm getting a whiff of envy here rather than anyone's 'selfishness' causing you or anyone else any harm.
Seriously, you don't make the rules or get to decide what's safe for everyone based on your own preferences either. The only thing you get to decide is who you sleep with and how you take care of your own sexual health. |
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"I wouldn't
People who play bare with everyone are selfish so I'd avoid. Prep only stops hiv
Or ask them to take a full std?
How on earth does a personal choice like that make someone selfish?
Do they think your selfish for only playing safe?…no
It's selfish to play bare as std rates are all rising. Especiallly on a promiscuous sex site. We all would love to play bare, who wouldn't?
I am safe then with one or two regulars I've known over the years & trust, we are bare. The freedom without the worries. Keeps it special too.
If you are playing safe then those who play bare aren't any threat to you and you need not be concerned about rising std rates. I'm getting a whiff of envy here rather than anyone's 'selfishness' causing you or anyone else any harm.
Seriously, you don't make the rules or get to decide what's safe for everyone based on your own preferences either. The only thing you get to decide is who you sleep with and how you take care of your own sexual health. "
Playing safe doesn’t magically mean you can’t catch anything though. You can still catch something with a condom, so people who are engaging in bare sex with others are obviously higher risk. Ridiculous to suggest otherwise.
Of course no one gets to make the rules for anyone else, but we can all have whatever opinion we like. I agree with the poster above. I do think it’s selfish to play bare if you’re active on the scene (unless you wait the required time between meets to be screened and know for certain you’re clean - but I don’t know anyone who does that). If you have multiple partners and so do they it doesn’t take long for things to spread. We’d all be safer if everyone was more careful. That’s just common sense.
I don’t like the risks involved so I don’t play anymore. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wouldn't
People who play bare with everyone are selfish so I'd avoid. Prep only stops hiv
Or ask them to take a full std?
How on earth does a personal choice like that make someone selfish?
Do they think your selfish for only playing safe?…no
It's selfish to play bare as std rates are all rising. Especiallly on a promiscuous sex site. We all would love to play bare, who wouldn't?
I am safe then with one or two regulars I've known over the years & trust, we are bare. The freedom without the worries. Keeps it special too.
If you are playing safe then those who play bare aren't any threat to you and you need not be concerned about rising std rates. I'm getting a whiff of envy here rather than anyone's 'selfishness' causing you or anyone else any harm.
Seriously, you don't make the rules or get to decide what's safe for everyone based on your own preferences either. The only thing you get to decide is who you sleep with and how you take care of your own sexual health.
Playing safe doesn’t magically mean you can’t catch anything though. You can still catch something with a condom, so people who are engaging in bare sex with others are obviously higher risk. Ridiculous to suggest otherwise.
Of course no one gets to make the rules for anyone else, but we can all have whatever opinion we like. I agree with the poster above. I do think it’s selfish to play bare if you’re active on the scene (unless you wait the required time between meets to be screened and know for certain you’re clean - but I don’t know anyone who does that). If you have multiple partners and so do they it doesn’t take long for things to spread. We’d all be safer if everyone was more careful. That’s just common sense.
I don’t like the risks involved so I don’t play anymore. "
Wow, I respect your choices but you've stopped playing because you're afraid of the risks involved even when using condoms? That's insane!
Please don't blame the bareback crew for that though, your choice is based on your own fears, paranoia, distrust in your partners and your perceived risk assessment. |
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"I wouldn't
People who play bare with everyone are selfish so I'd avoid. Prep only stops hiv
Or ask them to take a full std?
How on earth does a personal choice like that make someone selfish?
Do they think your selfish for only playing safe?…no
It's selfish to play bare as std rates are all rising. Especiallly on a promiscuous sex site. We all would love to play bare, who wouldn't?
I am safe then with one or two regulars I've known over the years & trust, we are bare. The freedom without the worries. Keeps it special too.
If you are playing safe then those who play bare aren't any threat to you and you need not be concerned about rising std rates. I'm getting a whiff of envy here rather than anyone's 'selfishness' causing you or anyone else any harm.
Seriously, you don't make the rules or get to decide what's safe for everyone based on your own preferences either. The only thing you get to decide is who you sleep with and how you take care of your own sexual health.
Playing safe doesn’t magically mean you can’t catch anything though. You can still catch something with a condom, so people who are engaging in bare sex with others are obviously higher risk. Ridiculous to suggest otherwise.
Of course no one gets to make the rules for anyone else, but we can all have whatever opinion we like. I agree with the poster above. I do think it’s selfish to play bare if you’re active on the scene (unless you wait the required time between meets to be screened and know for certain you’re clean - but I don’t know anyone who does that). If you have multiple partners and so do they it doesn’t take long for things to spread. We’d all be safer if everyone was more careful. That’s just common sense.
I don’t like the risks involved so I don’t play anymore.
Wow, I respect your choices but you've stopped playing because you're afraid of the risks involved even when using condoms? That's insane!
Please don't blame the bareback crew for that though, your choice is based on your own fears, paranoia, distrust in your partners and your perceived risk assessment. "
It’s not insane. That’s rude. Just because your choices are different to mine doesn’t make it insane.
I’ll my decisions based on whatever I want, and if that includes the ‘bareback crew’ (which I’ve learnt is most of Fab) then that’s up to me. It doesn’t affect anyone else. I’m neither paranoid, nor distrusting of my partner though. |
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By *rFunBoyMan
over a year ago
Longridge |
"If unsure weather she’s clean or not then have a taste down there to start with.
If you suspect she’s not as clean as she said she was due to her pussy tasting out of date then that way you know not to put mister todger in there and boom, disaster averted "
Oh god, no
Sounds like the old "shake n vac, put the freshness back" advert..
Go on YT and search for a song "Dear Penis"
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"If unsure weather she’s clean or not then have a taste down there to start with.
If you suspect she’s not as clean as she said she was due to her pussy tasting out of date then that way you know not to put mister todger in there and boom, disaster averted
"
Perhaps people should take a leaf out of the book of kings in the middle ages who employed disposable servants as food tasters before risking a suspect meal themselves? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wouldn't
People who play bare with everyone are selfish so I'd avoid. Prep only stops hiv
Or ask them to take a full std?
How on earth does a personal choice like that make someone selfish?
Do they think your selfish for only playing safe?…no
It's selfish to play bare as std rates are all rising. Especiallly on a promiscuous sex site. We all would love to play bare, who wouldn't?
I am safe then with one or two regulars I've known over the years & trust, we are bare. The freedom without the worries. Keeps it special too.
If you are playing safe then those who play bare aren't any threat to you and you need not be concerned about rising std rates. I'm getting a whiff of envy here rather than anyone's 'selfishness' causing you or anyone else any harm.
Seriously, you don't make the rules or get to decide what's safe for everyone based on your own preferences either. The only thing you get to decide is who you sleep with and how you take care of your own sexual health.
Playing safe doesn’t magically mean you can’t catch anything though. You can still catch something with a condom, so people who are engaging in bare sex with others are obviously higher risk. Ridiculous to suggest otherwise.
Of course no one gets to make the rules for anyone else, but we can all have whatever opinion we like. I agree with the poster above. I do think it’s selfish to play bare if you’re active on the scene (unless you wait the required time between meets to be screened and know for certain you’re clean - but I don’t know anyone who does that). If you have multiple partners and so do they it doesn’t take long for things to spread. We’d all be safer if everyone was more careful. That’s just common sense.
I don’t like the risks involved so I don’t play anymore.
Wow, I respect your choices but you've stopped playing because you're afraid of the risks involved even when using condoms? That's insane!
Please don't blame the bareback crew for that though, your choice is based on your own fears, paranoia, distrust in your partners and your perceived risk assessment.
It’s not insane. That’s rude. Just because your choices are different to mine doesn’t make it insane.
I’ll my decisions based on whatever I want, and if that includes the ‘bareback crew’ (which I’ve learnt is most of Fab) then that’s up to me. It doesn’t affect anyone else. I’m neither paranoid, nor distrusting of my partner though. "
Appologies misslovely I thought you meant you'd stopped having sex completely because of your fears of stis, I'm guessing it's just fab members you no longer wish to sleep with?
I agree, it's not insane that your choices are different to mine. I guess I just took it personally when you suggested that those who play bare are to blame for your choice not to meet anymore. That as you pointed out is your decision to make the way you see fit. I just won't be called selfish for not playing the way you or anyone else would like me to as that seems rather selfish in itself. |
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"I wouldn't
People who play bare with everyone are selfish so I'd avoid. Prep only stops hiv
Or ask them to take a full std?
How on earth does a personal choice like that make someone selfish?
Do they think your selfish for only playing safe?…no
It's selfish to play bare as std rates are all rising. Especiallly on a promiscuous sex site. We all would love to play bare, who wouldn't?
I am safe then with one or two regulars I've known over the years & trust, we are bare. The freedom without the worries. Keeps it special too.
If you are playing safe then those who play bare aren't any threat to you and you need not be concerned about rising std rates. I'm getting a whiff of envy here rather than anyone's 'selfishness' causing you or anyone else any harm.
Seriously, you don't make the rules or get to decide what's safe for everyone based on your own preferences either. The only thing you get to decide is who you sleep with and how you take care of your own sexual health.
Playing safe doesn’t magically mean you can’t catch anything though. You can still catch something with a condom, so people who are engaging in bare sex with others are obviously higher risk. Ridiculous to suggest otherwise.
Of course no one gets to make the rules for anyone else, but we can all have whatever opinion we like. I agree with the poster above. I do think it’s selfish to play bare if you’re active on the scene (unless you wait the required time between meets to be screened and know for certain you’re clean - but I don’t know anyone who does that). If you have multiple partners and so do they it doesn’t take long for things to spread. We’d all be safer if everyone was more careful. That’s just common sense.
I don’t like the risks involved so I don’t play anymore.
Wow, I respect your choices but you've stopped playing because you're afraid of the risks involved even when using condoms? That's insane!
Please don't blame the bareback crew for that though, your choice is based on your own fears, paranoia, distrust in your partners and your perceived risk assessment.
It’s not insane. That’s rude. Just because your choices are different to mine doesn’t make it insane.
I’ll my decisions based on whatever I want, and if that includes the ‘bareback crew’ (which I’ve learnt is most of Fab) then that’s up to me. It doesn’t affect anyone else. I’m neither paranoid, nor distrusting of my partner though.
Appologies misslovely I thought you meant you'd stopped having sex completely because of your fears of stis, I'm guessing it's just fab members you no longer wish to sleep with?
I agree, it's not insane that your choices are different to mine. I guess I just took it personally when you suggested that those who play bare are to blame for your choice not to meet anymore. That as you pointed out is your decision to make the way you see fit. I just won't be called selfish for not playing the way you or anyone else would like me to as that seems rather selfish in itself. "
No I still have sex, I just don’t ‘play’ anymore. I’m at the very far end of the scale in terms of attitude to bare play, always have been. It’s never been anything that I’ve done as part of Fab. As I’ve spent more time on Fab, especially in the forums, I’ve realised how prevalent bare play is and it’s put me off wanting to be involved anymore. I’m not complaining about it though, and I’m not urging anyone to do anything different for my benefit so I can join back in.
The whole bare play debate is always divisive. What is acceptable to one person is completely unacceptable to another. That’s just the way it is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If unsure weather she’s clean or not then have a taste down there to start with.
If you suspect she’s not as clean as she said she was due to her pussy tasting out of date then that way you know not to put mister todger in there and boom, disaster averted
Perhaps people should take a leaf out of the book of kings in the middle ages who employed disposable servants as food tasters before risking a suspect meal themselves?"
 |
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"I can't see the problem. Guys who play bare and are on PrEP and get tested regularly are actually safer than guys who never get tested but use a condom. If a bareback guy , with all the above provisos uses a condom to play safe, then he is a better bet than others .Also, I agree that many guys say they are straight and will only play safe , but do go bareback with men when they can."
PrEP only reduces the risk of infection with HIV. Someone could be on PrEP and still acquire or pass on countless other infections. So, whether someone is on PrEP or not does not tell you the risk of potentially catching AN STI. Only that the risk of them having and passing on HIV is extremely low. |
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