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Club or Meet for 1st time
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Hi all..
We are wondering what people think is better, more rewarding or successful shall we say...for the first steps into the physical side of this...
Just going off to a club as a couple...or arranging a meeting with a like minded couple? |
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"Hi all..
We are wondering what people think is better, more rewarding or successful shall we say...for the first steps into the physical side of this...
Just going off to a club as a couple...or arranging a meeting with a like minded couple?"
I always opt for club now and if they end up being a timewasters then I haven't had my time wasted as there is always someone to talk to in the club even if it ends up being the staff can still have a fun evening x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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An organised social is a good way to introduce yourselves to the scene and Coventry has a regular established event.
That said, in hindsight we wished we'd been brave enough to visit a club much earlier than we did...again you have a couple of the best in the country on your doorstep.
Best of luck with your choice and remember you never have to do anything that you don't want to. PDx |
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"Hi all..
We are wondering what people think is better, more rewarding or successful shall we say...for the first steps into the physical side of this...
Just going off to a club as a couple...or arranging a meeting with a like minded couple?
I always opt for club now and if they end up being a timewasters then I haven't had my time wasted as there is always someone to talk to in the club even if it ends up being the staff can still have a fun evening x "
Absolutely agree with this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if you are like us, ie not like having a lot of people around when you arrive or the whole stay, go early during the week, often all clubs are quite. You get a chance to get the feel.
Singly guys, the vast majority eager to talk, etc the single older guys can be more forward and younger ones a bit shy intially.
some will try it on, eg, when you move away from your wife, try to give their phone details or at least test the water to see if your wife will see them behind your back, it made is lol. |
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"if you are like us, ie not like having a lot of people around when you arrive or the whole stay, go early during the week, often all clubs are quite. You get a chance to get the feel.
Singly guys, the vast majority eager to talk, etc the single older guys can be more forward and younger ones a bit shy intially.
some will try it on, eg, when you move away from your wife, try to give their phone details or at least test the water to see if your wife will see them behind your back, it made is lol."
I chuckled reading that... |
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Hi OP,
I think that you'd be better off going to a club. Especially if you're new to the scene. Arranging a meet is a bit of a 'sit down meal for two'. Whereas a club is more like a 'buffet'.
Some really good info in this thread (including my own comments/experience reproduced below):
https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/support/1198192
A few tips from my first time as a couple at a club.
1. We picked somewhere with no dress down time i.e. you could stay fully clothed all night if you wanted to.
2. We went to a couples and single ladies only night.
3. We established and agreed some hard rules before we went which were non-negotiable once at the club. Such as:
a. One of us would remain totally sober and had the last word on any activity/interaction.
b. We had a 'secret signal' (squeeze partners little finger) so that we could immediately signal to each other that one of us was feeling uncomfortable with something.
c. Decided what we wanted to do and did NOT want to do before we went.
d. Didn't separate from partner other than going to the loo. Even then we waited outside for the other one!
I sound like a proper barrel of laughs don't I?
It worked for us and made sure that our first time was enjoyable on our terms.
Like anything, you'll relax or change your rules as you get more comfortable or familiar with something.
Set your rules, stick to them, chat to lots of different people, have fun (but don't get carried away in the moment), review your experience together openly and honestly.
I know that one of the above comments about 'fresh meat' is meant as a joke but we did experience something like this. A couple were very keen on playing together with us which we had agreed before we went that we would not do. They spent ages trying to convince us otherwise, even going so far as to try and separate us in a 'divide and conquer' type approach! Didn't work, we stuck to our rules!
Best wishes. |
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"Hi OP,
I think that you'd be better off going to a club. Especially if you're new to the scene. Arranging a meet is a bit of a 'sit down meal for two'. Whereas a club is more like a 'buffet'.
Some really good info in this thread (including my own comments/experience reproduced below):
https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/support/1198192
A few tips from my first time as a couple at a club.
1. We picked somewhere with no dress down time i.e. you could stay fully clothed all night if you wanted to.
2. We went to a couples and single ladies only night.
3. We established and agreed some hard rules before we went which were non-negotiable once at the club. Such as:
a. One of us would remain totally sober and had the last word on any activity/interaction.
b. We had a 'secret signal' (squeeze partners little finger) so that we could immediately signal to each other that one of us was feeling uncomfortable with something.
c. Decided what we wanted to do and did NOT want to do before we went.
d. Didn't separate from partner other than going to the loo. Even then we waited outside for the other one!
I sound like a proper barrel of laughs don't I?
It worked for us and made sure that our first time was enjoyable on our terms.
Like anything, you'll relax or change your rules as you get more comfortable or familiar with something.
Set your rules, stick to them, chat to lots of different people, have fun (but don't get carried away in the moment), review your experience together openly and honestly.
I know that one of the above comments about 'fresh meat' is meant as a joke but we did experience something like this. A couple were very keen on playing together with us which we had agreed before we went that we would not do. They spent ages trying to convince us otherwise, even going so far as to try and separate us in a 'divide and conquer' type approach! Didn't work, we stuck to our rules!
Best wishes."
We do the same thing, even down to the secret signal. We have also had the divide and conquer approach which also didn't work 
We agree with the 2nd post too in that club meets are better as you can have a good night regardless.
Good luck with whatever choice you make OP xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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hi all
which club would people advise to go to for a newbie and single.
West Yorkshire would be my covered area but also close to South Yorkshire too so if you could point one or some with any other advice would be helpful thanks |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"hi all
which club would people advise to go to for a newbie and single.
West Yorkshire would be my covered area but also close to South Yorkshire too so if you could point one or some with any other advice would be helpful thanks "
Never failed to have a great time at Pandora’s. |
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We don't meet couples anymore but our first meetings are always social only - no exceptions. That way we don't feel pressured to play with someone we haven't connected with and if they don't even show up we just enjoy our evening together. Having met socially with no pressure, it's far easier to proceed to a pleasurable 'fun' meeting. |
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100% clubs. Even better not to arrange anything prior with anyone, just go at a time and venue that is reasonably busy. Because this way you get to meet new people face to face and know pretty instantly if it could work or not. And you do this without any obligation or being trapped in a situation that is difficult to remove yourself from without being rude or ending the night. In a club you can just move on and keep socialising/flirting with others till you find something that works (or a few things that work in the same night which is a bonus). Plus if you want to get physical with anyone you can just find a room/space and do it then and there in a neutral space. No wasted time, no being stood up and loads of opportunities. And if you make freinds and want to continue meeting outside of the club you just exchange details and do it. Plus if you don't find what your looking for you still get to have a great night out together, watch some filth and maybe enjoy the facilities together.
We've as of yet never done a meet of fab. Always been people we've bumped in to in swingers club/events or folk we've seduced on a night out. |
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Personally, we aren't a fan of arranging meets at a club. Part of the fun of a club is not knowing who you may end up meeting.
We have met other couples at clubs before and felt obligated to stay with them rather than go off exploring. |
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"We don't meet couples anymore but our first meetings are always social only - no exceptions. That way we don't feel pressured to play with someone we haven't connected with and if they don't even show up we just enjoy our evening together. Having met socially with no pressure, it's far easier to proceed to a pleasurable 'fun' meeting."
Absolutely this. A social over a coffee needs only 20 minutes if none of you are feeling a connection  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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just my luck.
went to a club and male dominant ??????????.
fair play to staff wouldn't take money said it would be for nothing really.
at least I found the place at least so better luck next time they say.
happy fabbing
???????? |
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Clubs are less daunting than you think, we were very nervous also but there really was no need. 