FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Easy way to rid some of the not so polite
Easy way to rid some of the not so polite
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Many, most claim to be 'polite' etc etc.
What I do is be abrupt with some via messaging and if they remain polite and nice and not state using words like 'mate' pal what' etc, i know that there is a good chance they are more polite than most here.
another thing is ask them if they've read the profile, clearly most have not as they'd know what we/you are looking for
how do you try to steer clear of those that do not feel right for you?
btw, i've only blocked one member to date out of the dozens of daily contacts
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"Many, most claim to be 'polite' etc etc.
What I do is be abrupt with some via messaging and if they remain polite and nice and not state using words like 'mate' pal what' etc, i know that there is a good chance they are more polite than most here.
another thing is ask them if they've read the profile, clearly most have not as they'd know what we/you are looking for
how do you try to steer clear of those that do not feel right for you?
btw, i've only blocked one member to date out of the dozens of daily contacts
"
Block? |
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"Many, most claim to be 'polite' etc etc.
What I do is be abrupt with some via messaging and if they remain polite and nice and not state using words like 'mate' pal what' etc, i know that there is a good chance they are more polite than most here.
another thing is ask them if they've read the profile, clearly most have not as they'd know what we/you are looking for
how do you try to steer clear of those that do not feel right for you?
btw, i've only blocked one member to date out of the dozens of daily contacts
"
Hey mate.
Really is no issue to be had unless you want to make one. The filters are great and can always block. Good luck pal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being rude or abrupt to people as some sort of test that they have to pass by just taking it and ignoring your own questionable behaviour is, IMHO, pretty poor form. It would make us question how stable your own personality is and whether you yourself might turn nasty during an actual meet.
It's not a strategy we'd adopt but I guess if it works for you then good luck to you buddy |
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I'm open minded and expect the best until someone proves otherwise. When they are clearly not right for you, it makes sense to block them, to prevent either side interacting again by mistake. There's no qualms or shame in using the site tools to make life easier here for everyone.
If you have 1 or 1001 users blocked - and they are the total of the unmatched people, you have used the tools right for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its rare I get messages or send them.
I am polite and speak as I would if meeting someone face to face.
I don't block anyone (unless it is a counter block) as I like to see who they play with, how they play and so on.
Its a good indicator of seeing how people behave towards each other. |
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"Being rude or abrupt to people as some sort of test that they have to pass by just taking it and ignoring your own questionable behaviour is, IMHO, pretty poor form. It would make us question how stable your own personality is and whether you yourself might turn nasty during an actual meet.
It's not a strategy we'd adopt but I guess if it works for you then good luck to you buddy "
Exactly my thoughts. We’d move on if someone did that to us. |
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Whatever you're doing it doesn't appear to be working
"Many, most claim to be 'polite' etc etc.
What I do is be abrupt with some via messaging and if they remain polite and nice and not state using words like 'mate' pal what' etc, i know that there is a good chance they are more polite than most here.
another thing is ask them if they've read the profile, clearly most have not as they'd know what we/you are looking for
how do you try to steer clear of those that do not feel right for you?
btw, i've only blocked one member to date out of the dozens of daily contacts
"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Being rude or abrupt to people as some sort of test that they have to pass by just taking it and ignoring your own questionable behaviour is, IMHO, pretty poor form. It would make us question how stable your own personality is and whether you yourself might turn nasty during an actual meet.
It's not a strategy we'd adopt but I guess if it works for you then good luck to you buddy
Exactly my thoughts. We’d move on if someone did that to us."
Fair point but the reason i did just in case its not clear to you is to check out if their so-called politeness is real-ish or a complete like
take care |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being rude or abrupt to people as some sort of test that they have to pass by just taking it and ignoring your own questionable behaviour is, IMHO, pretty poor form. It would make us question how stable your own personality is and whether you yourself might turn nasty during an actual meet.
It's not a strategy we'd adopt but I guess if it works for you then good luck to you buddy
Exactly my thoughts. We’d move on if someone did that to us.
Fair point but the reason i did just in case its not clear to you is to check out if their so-called politeness is real-ish or a complete like
take care "
So you are rude initially in order to test how polite they are? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Many, most claim to be 'polite' etc etc.
What I do is be abrupt with some via messaging and if they remain polite and nice and not state using words like 'mate' pal what' etc, i know that there is a good chance they are more polite than most here.
another thing is ask them if they've read the profile, clearly most have not as they'd know what we/you are looking for
how do you try to steer clear of those that do not feel right for you?
btw, i've only blocked one member to date out of the dozens of daily contacts
"
I can't see how being abrupt with anyone would show them your better side.
No reply would be a distinct action to show you aren't interested.
It sounds like a waste of time and effort to even reply to any mail or members that haven't read your profile.
Do you read their profiles before replying?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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sometimes and others no. if they keep on coming across as nice, interesting and are what i am hoping for for my wife, then yes and even fab a few pics.
to many time wasters here from what i've read.
the chappy we met last night - he was not 100% spot on but more than 90% there and most of all he was nice, polite, clean, clean home, not phusy and totally obeyed my instructions - so it works for us.
he did have a OH and lied initially he did - i feel sorry for his OH and won't be seeing the chap again because of the lie and we don't want to be seeing a cheat that is just us.
IMO, you do get a more genuine guy if you meet them at their place and they are almost always very nice, non condescending etc, etc
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"sometimes and others no. if they keep on coming across as nice, interesting and are what i am hoping for for my wife, then yes and even fab a few pics.
to many time wasters here from what i've read.
the chappy we met last night - he was not 100% spot on but more than 90% there and most of all he was nice, polite, clean, clean home, not phusy and totally obeyed my instructions - so it works for us.
he did have a OH and lied initially he did - i feel sorry for his OH and won't be seeing the chap again because of the lie and we don't want to be seeing a cheat that is just us.
IMO, you do get a more genuine guy if you meet them at their place and they are almost always very nice, non condescending etc, etc
"
So you knew he had a partner and still carried on with the meet regardless?
It all comes across like double standards and quite selfish on your part.
You expect them to pander to your whims and fancies, yet you treat them with contempt from the first message.
That in itself would raise alarm bells as to the nature of someones personality.
To each their own, but that kind of attitude could lose you the perfect meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being rude or abrupt to people as some sort of test that they have to pass by just taking it and ignoring your own questionable behaviour is, IMHO, pretty poor form. It would make us question how stable your own personality is and whether you yourself might turn nasty during an actual meet.
It's not a strategy we'd adopt but I guess if it works for you then good luck to you buddy
Exactly my thoughts. We’d move on if someone did that to us.
Fair point but the reason i did just in case its not clear to you is to check out if their so-called politeness is real-ish or a complete like
take care "
No, I'm very clear on what your intentions are by doing this. I just think it's shady AF.
But from what you've subsequently said in a recent post it appears what you are actually looking for is a doormat. We try to treat the people we swing with as equals. We don't expect them to jump through hoops, nor will we for them. If I had the slightest whiff that someone was in some way "testing" us then I'd be moving swiftly on.
But, like I said, you do you
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"sometimes and others no. if they keep on coming across as nice, interesting and are what i am hoping for for my wife, then yes and even fab a few pics.
to many time wasters here from what i've read.
the chappy we met last night - he was not 100% spot on but more than 90% there and most of all he was nice, polite, clean, clean home, not phusy and totally obeyed my instructions - so it works for us.
he did have a OH and lied initially he did - i feel sorry for his OH and won't be seeing the chap again because of the lie and we don't want to be seeing a cheat that is just us.
IMO, you do get a more genuine guy if you meet them at their place and they are almost always very nice, non condescending etc, etc
So you knew he had a partner and still carried on with the meet regardless?
It all comes across like double standards and quite selfish on your part.
You expect them to pander to your whims and fancies, yet you treat them with contempt from the first message.
That in itself would raise alarm bells as to the nature of someones personality.
To each their own, but that kind of attitude could lose you the perfect meet."
Id have to agree with you, think it's a very poor attitude towards others but... Their choices I suppose. |
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