FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Stood up..again!
Stood up..again!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Is it such a big deal to ask for a social first. If you read our veris, it's supposedly worth it in the long run  .
Yet again...supposed to be meeting at 2pm.. sat here at 2.50pm still alone  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Really is rubbish. I can speak from both sides having initially been a stereotype timewaster and from having plenty of my own time wasted.
Why was I a timewaster? Ah that'd be me realising I wasn't ready, that I'd exaggerated my experiences & realised if I went through with it I'd be over my head. And nerves.
But guess what after a while word got round the chatrooms I was using & I got royally shown the error of my ways.
Do I get nervous before a meet still? God yes. Do I communicate a lot better now? Hell yes. Do I always go through with a meet? Hmmmmnope but I always give plenty of notice if not my reasons.
Try not to let it get you down. I had one from here on an old account cancel, uncancel, cancel then uncancel again the very same morning. In the end I'd have been better off leaving it cancelled  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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See this is what’s wrong with fab. Time wasters and no shows literally cause the reaction that people become untrusting and it makes it harder for the genuine ones out there.
Sorry they didn’t show up. That sucks |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"See this is what’s wrong with fab. Time wasters and no shows literally cause the reaction that people become untrusting and it makes it harder for the genuine ones out there.
Sorry they didn’t show up. That sucks "
We have been swinging for 15 years and on here since 2015. Have met some lovely guys and so am trying not to lose faith |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"See this is what’s wrong with fab. Time wasters and no shows literally cause the reaction that people become untrusting and it makes it harder for the genuine ones out there.
Sorry they didn’t show up. That sucks
We have been swinging for 15 years and on here since 2015. Have met some lovely guys and so am trying not to lose faith "
That’s a good attitude to have! Especially if you’ve been swinging for 15 years, you’ve probably had a few experiences of no shows. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"See this is what’s wrong with fab. Time wasters and no shows literally cause the reaction that people become untrusting and it makes it harder for the genuine ones out there.
Sorry they didn’t show up. That sucks "
We all start out trusting everyone. Oooh promising messages, then get diaries lined up... Then get ghosted suddenly. Rinse & repeat that a few times & you can quickly become so jaded you just give up.
It's a big reason I set out to try clubs. Or at least arranging to meet at a club. Get a no show at a club ... There might just be a fine plan B waiting |
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"Is it such a big deal to ask for a social first. If you read our veris, it's supposedly worth it in the long run .
Yet again...supposed to be meeting at 2pm.. sat here at 2.50pm still alone "
Totally vexing and unfortunately just part and parcel of arranging meets in our experience. Last minute nerves or unforeseen circumstances do not justify a no show. ANYONE with a remote sense of decency can drop a sorry text. Only way we view it is that this would not be a person who has the qualities we value. Lucky escape OP |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Shouldn't be an issue asking for a social, but yes sadly lots of time wasters. Please don't say it was a single guy who was lucky enough to get a response and then messed you about  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Shouldn't be an issue asking for a social, but yes sadly lots of time wasters. Please don't say it was a single guy who was lucky enough to get a response and then messed you about "
Yep |
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Never once stood anyone up. Had to cancel or re-arranage with advance notice but never left anyone hanging.
On the flip side we only been officially stood up once (in 23 years) when it was just us. Quite a few last moment cancellations though (best one being "I forgot the football was on"). Had plenty of no shows at social events weve hosted though.
That said theres been a significant rise in cancellations on us these last few months.
Sign of the times or fab just getting a bit worse with time wasting? |
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By *jonesMan
over a year ago
Plymouth |
I never understand this..its mind boggling...
I would love to know how these people dupe people..
Was he verified ?
Could you have a call before to reassure they are genuine, I did that recently with a lady that I was nervous (you get a bit paranoid)about.
What's app face call for a chat ..?
Anyway my commiserations...its horrible I've had it done to me a couple of times...
H |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I never understand this..its mind boggling...
I would love to know how these people dupe people..
Was he verified ?
Could you have a call before to reassure they are genuine, I did that recently with a lady that I was nervous (you get a bit paranoid)about.
What's app face call for a chat ..?
Anyway my commiserations...its horrible I've had it done to me a couple of times...
H"
Yes he was verified. He's now blocked me  |
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By *jonesMan
over a year ago
Plymouth |
"Never once stood anyone up. Had to cancel or re-arranage with advance notice but never left anyone hanging.
On the flip side we only been officially stood up once (in 23 years) when it was just us. Quite a few last moment cancellations though (best one being "I forgot the football was on"). Had plenty of no shows at social events weve hosted though.
That said theres been a significant rise in cancellations on us these last few months.
Sign of the times or fab just getting a bit worse with time wasting?"
Its interesting, I was on swinging heaven for a while and went to a great social that was posted on here as well ...chatting to the organiser they get almost full attendance from SH members and a massive no show rate from fab members .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Shouldn't be an issue asking for a social, but yes sadly lots of time wasters. Please don't say it was a single guy who was lucky enough to get a response and then messed you about
Yep"
Literal wankers, hope his cock falls off from playing with it too much. Its embarrassing to be in the single males demographic with people like this about. |
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Only meet in clubs now, every message I get I tell them and not one will want to take it any further.
If I really am all of the nice compliments I get, surely being seen in public (swingers club on a bi night) wouldn’t be an issue.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it such a big deal to ask for a social first. If you read our veris, it's supposedly worth it in the long run .
Yet again...supposed to be meeting at 2pm.. sat here at 2.50pm still alone
Totally vexing and unfortunately just part and parcel of arranging meets in our experience. Last minute nerves or unforeseen circumstances do not justify a no show. ANYONE with a remote sense of decency can drop a sorry text. Only way we view it is that this would not be a person who has the qualities we value. Lucky escape OP "
Good point…if they can’t communicate via text/call/email then what is the communication going to be like if it makes it to the bedroom! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never understand this..its mind boggling...
I would love to know how these people dupe people..
Was he verified ?
Could you have a call before to reassure they are genuine, I did that recently with a lady that I was nervous (you get a bit paranoid)about.
What's app face call for a chat ..?
Anyway my commiserations...its horrible I've had it done to me a couple of times...
H
Yes he was verified. He's now blocked me "
Dodged a bullet I reckon |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"One very good reason to pursue the club route .... you really meet real people .... makes a huge difference - keep in touch on fab afterwards "
We have been going to pleasures for 9 years |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Is it such a big deal to ask for a social first. If you read our veris, it's supposedly worth it in the long run .
Yet again...supposed to be meeting at 2pm.. sat here at 2.50pm still alone "
Always good to have a social first to see if both connect and have chemistry as this continues sexually.
Sorry to hear about being stood up just remember that you are worthy and their loss  |
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In 11 or more years swimming, like everyone I've had the losers now and again.
I now agree a messaging schedule in advance, so that early warning signs can alert me. If they don't do what they have agreed to do, that's a fair sign that they won't be a respectful, responsive partner anyway.
Some people are just not very honest, so don't share their truthful situation and thus highlight potential complications etc |
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A lot of guys here are just after drity chat etc. and have no intention of ever meeting. We don't engage with that or swap private pics. Our first meetings are always social only and we always factor in being let down so if it happens it doesn't spoil the event. I think the fakes and timewasters avoid us because we don't feed their habit. |
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"Never once stood anyone up. Had to cancel or re-arranage with advance notice but never left anyone hanging.
On the flip side we only been officially stood up once (in 23 years) when it was just us. Quite a few last moment cancellations though (best one being "I forgot the football was on"). Had plenty of no shows at social events weve hosted though.
That said theres been a significant rise in cancellations on us these last few months.
Sign of the times or fab just getting a bit worse with time wasting?
Its interesting, I was on swinging heaven for a while and went to a great social that was posted on here as well ...chatting to the organiser they get almost full attendance from SH members and a massive no show rate from fab members ...."
That's because Fab is free. The lack of subscription fees is what attracts a lot of dreamers, wanna be's and just general ner do wells who like to ruin other peoples days.
That said, with some common sense you can usually spot those types early on. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A lot of guys here are just after drity chat etc. and have no intention of ever meeting. We don't engage with that or swap private pics. Our first meetings are always social only and we always factor in being let down so if it happens it doesn't spoil the event. I think the fakes and timewasters avoid us because we don't feed their habit."
I don't do naughty chat or any pictures other than public. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it such a big deal to ask for a social first. If you read our veris, it's supposedly worth it in the long run .
Yet again...supposed to be meeting at 2pm.. sat here at 2.50pm still alone "
Never change how you do things to suit other people. Stick to how you both prefer to do things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It might not be entirely on topic, but still close I think:
Who here has the same impression as me, which is that things have fundamentally changed as a result of Covid.
Less meetups taking place and in general especially people in my age range (50 and thereabouts) have become much more cautious.
From a personal perspective, I must admit that having been isolated socially for this long has had a devastating effect on my openness and candid approach to meeting. It scares me no end these days.
I'm curious and eager to learn what others are experiencing? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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alot of people like the idea of swinging, but bottle out when the reality kicks in, weve had it a few times, men, women and couples, altho couples tend ,in our view, to be more reliable, women the worse, maybe because most arent women lol |
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"See this is what’s wrong with fab. Time wasters and no shows literally cause the reaction that people become untrusting and it makes it harder for the genuine ones out there.
Sorry they didn’t show up. That sucks "
Spot on! |
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"See this is what’s wrong with fab. Time wasters and no shows literally cause the reaction that people become untrusting and it makes it harder for the genuine ones out there.
Sorry they didn’t show up. That sucks
We have been swinging for 15 years and on here since 2015. Have met some lovely guys and so am trying not to lose faith "
Definitely don't! There are lots of really great people on here. They often get lost in the s. |
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We get this too unfortunately a lot of the men on here are just in it for a wank while they chat to a couple
Then there are those who expect the world from my wife. This is swinging not porn
The good ones are hard to find but worth it in the end |
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"We get this too unfortunately a lot of the men on here are just in it for a wank while they chat to a couple
Then there are those who expect the world from my wife. This is swinging not porn
The good ones are hard to find but worth it in the end "
This is true, but we often get lost in the numbers as a result. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"alot of people like the idea of swinging, but bottle out when the reality kicks in, weve had it a few times, men, women and couples, altho couples tend ,in our view, to be more reliable, women the worse, maybe because most arent women lol"
Yep. We've stopped meeting couples outside of clubs. |
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"I never understand this..its mind boggling...
I would love to know how these people dupe people..
Was he verified ?
Could you have a call before to reassure they are genuine, I did that recently with a lady that I was nervous (you get a bit paranoid)about.
What's app face call for a chat ..?
Anyway my commiserations...its horrible I've had it done to me a couple of times...
H
Yes he was verified. He's now blocked me "
I’d report him on here, I think there’s an option for it. How annoying, people are so rude aren’t they? |
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"Is it such a big deal to ask for a social first. If you read our veris, it's supposedly worth it in the long run .
Yet again...supposed to be meeting at 2pm.. sat here at
2.50pm still alone :-
("
Just happened to us just now. They turn up apparently but an hour late is just not acceptable |
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"Really is rubbish. I can speak from both sides having initially been a stereotype timewaster and from having plenty of my own time wasted.
Why was I a timewaster? Ah that'd be me realising I wasn't ready, that I'd exaggerated my experiences & realised if I went through with it I'd be over my head. And nerves.
But guess what after a while word got round the chatrooms I was using & I got royally shown the error of my ways.
Do I get nervous before a meet still? God yes. Do I communicate a lot better now? Hell yes. Do I always go through with a meet? Hmmmmnope but I always give plenty of notice if not my reasons.
Try not to let it get you down. I had one from here on an old account cancel, uncancel, cancel then uncancel again the very same morning. In the end I'd have been better off leaving it cancelled "
ambition exceeding ability ! An everyday occurrence on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it such a big deal to ask for a social first. If you read our veris, it's supposedly worth it in the long run .
Yet again...supposed to be meeting at 2pm.. sat here at
2.50pm still alone :-
(
Just happened to us just now. They turn up apparently but an hour late is just not acceptable"
Well judging by your pics and profile someone has missed out on an amazing night. I know you haven't had the night you planned either but you have each other to enjoy tonight where as he will be alone. Small consolation I know but it's something x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Gutted it happened to You .. It's not fair getting stood up no matter what the reason for the meet. Been stood up loads of times in the past.
I haven't been invited for a Social Anything (on here) as yet but barring Work,My Kids,My Very good friend visiting (she'd probably come along tbh) or illness I'd be there!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just go to clubs. That's what I do. meet so many lovely people, don't have to waste your time ping pong messaging random people for ages and meet loads of different kinds of people.
|
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"Just go to clubs. That's what I do. meet so many lovely people, don't have to waste your time ping pong messaging random people for ages and meet loads of different kinds of people.
"
Spot on! Fab itself has been pretty universally unsuccessful for me over the 7 - 8 years I've been on here, BUT it's pointed me to organised socials and clubs where I've had some awesome times and met some great people, some of whom are now real friends who I'd go out of my way for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I will never understand people who don’t go to meets or just block and vanish knowing how hard it is to get a meet with a woman/couple on here. It baffles and frustrates in equal measure I can pride myself on not letting anyone down so far and long may that continue x |
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By *ev_1Couple
over a year ago
Bickliegh |
We still stand by having a social first and will continue and we find it calls out the time wasters and we find its getting worse and find orginised socai events are the way to go x |
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We have been let down the past two weeks on the trot for a social meet with single men!!!
We are serious thinking about club only meets, as at least if we go the trouble to arrange our family to enable us to go out we can still have a nice evening |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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or worse still for me personally i arranged to meet a guy a while back.gave him details as to where to pick me up.time and so on. He even messaged he was on way.i waited and waited.no show. I found out round about two hours after we were due to meet he had in fact met up with a gay guy who lives a stones throw from me. He got a blow job.i saw the veri. |
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Honestly why is everyone complaining, who cares if someone doesn’t turn up their loss, there are plenty of clubs to go to. And meet new people.
I’m not trying to sound harsh, but I have been dealing with the same thing for months now. And no it’s not “single” men it’s everyone on the site who just want to wank off and Fulfilled their fantasies.
I’m not trying to sound rude but my suggestion is just go to clubs and whatever |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly why is everyone complaining, who cares if someone doesn’t turn up their loss, there are plenty of clubs to go to. And meet new people.
I’m not trying to sound harsh, but I have been dealing with the same thing for months now. And no it’s not “single” men it’s everyone on the site who just want to wank off and Fulfilled their fantasies.
I’m not trying to sound rude but my suggestion is just go to clubs and whatever"
Actually, I do care. If I've taken time out of my already busy day to meet a guy or couple and they don't show. Then I've wasted my time. I understand things pop up, but give prior notice or let them know. Don't just "not turn up".
Also, clubs aren't for everyone. Not everyone is a Voyeur or exhibitionist. Some like to have more personal and intimate meets. Or child arrangements/carer responsibilities so they can't go to clubs in the evenings.
I agree with OP, it's rude if someone just "doesn't show up" in my opinion. |
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"Honestly why is everyone complaining, who cares if someone doesn’t turn up their loss, there are plenty of clubs to go to. And meet new people.
I’m not trying to sound harsh, but I have been dealing with the same thing for months now. And no it’s not “single” men it’s everyone on the site who just want to wank off and Fulfilled their fantasies.
I’m not trying to sound rude but my suggestion is just go to clubs and whatever"
clubs ain't for everyone tho  |
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"or worse still for me personally i arranged to meet a guy a while back.gave him details as to where to pick me up.time and so on. He even messaged he was on way.i waited and waited.no show. I found out round about two hours after we were due to meet he had in fact met up with a gay guy who lives a stones throw from me. He got a blow job.i saw the veri."
Ahhh it’s like a death in the family or my pets died, then the veri appears.
Been where you have a couple of times |
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"Honestly why is everyone complaining, who cares if someone doesn’t turn up their loss, there are plenty of clubs to go to. And meet new people.
I’m not trying to sound harsh, but I have been dealing with the same thing for months now. And no it’s not “single” men it’s everyone on the site who just want to wank off and Fulfilled their fantasies.
I’m not trying to sound rude but my suggestion is just go to clubs and whatever
Actually, I do care. If I've taken time out of my already busy day to meet a guy or couple and they don't show. Then I've wasted my time. I understand things pop up, but give prior notice or let them know. Don't just "not turn up".
Also, clubs aren't for everyone. Not everyone is a Voyeur or exhibitionist. Some like to have more personal and intimate meets. Or child arrangements/carer responsibilities so they can't go to clubs in the evenings.
I agree with OP, it's rude if someone just "doesn't show up" in my opinion."
Honestly I’m not trying to sound rude but I’ve had the same thing happen to me over and over again, and get no shows or the couple says he can come though. Like wtf,
I understand clubs are not for everyone but I think that’s the best option right now especially with all the time wasters, honestly I’ve been in the same boat, got dressed cleaned up. Then bang no show. When I “complain” on the forums, like OP then I get sent oh you are doing this wrong, look at your profile, this that and everything else...... |
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"Honestly why is everyone complaining, who cares if someone doesn’t turn up their loss, there are plenty of clubs to go to. And meet new people.
I’m not trying to sound harsh, but I have been dealing with the same thing for months now. And no it’s not “single” men it’s everyone on the site who just want to wank off and Fulfilled their fantasies.
I’m not trying to sound rude but my suggestion is just go to clubs and whateverclubs ain't for everyone tho "
Just saying what everyone tells me |
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"Honestly why is everyone complaining, who cares if someone doesn’t turn up their loss, there are plenty of clubs to go to. And meet new people.
I’m not trying to sound harsh, but I have been dealing with the same thing for months now. And no it’s not “single” men it’s everyone on the site who just want to wank off and Fulfilled their fantasies.
I’m not trying to sound rude but my suggestion is just go to clubs and whateverclubs ain't for everyone tho
Just saying what everyone tells me "
I know but still clubs are not for everyone for different reasons.
I must be very lucky as I joined this site a few days after it was set up and only been stood up once and that was way back when I first joined. |
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"Honestly why is everyone complaining, who cares if someone doesn’t turn up their loss, there are plenty of clubs to go to. And meet new people.
I’m not trying to sound harsh, but I have been dealing with the same thing for months now. And no it’s not “single” men it’s everyone on the site who just want to wank off and Fulfilled their fantasies.
I’m not trying to sound rude but my suggestion is just go to clubs and whateverclubs ain't for everyone tho
Just saying what everyone tells me I know but still clubs are not for everyone for different reasons.
I must be very lucky as I joined this site a few days after it was set up and only been stood up once and that was way back when I first joined."
And you are happy to meet men, some of us are different. Just saying.
And I personally didn’t want to go to any clubs
But I have no other option |
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"Honestly why is everyone complaining, who cares if someone doesn’t turn up their loss, there are plenty of clubs to go to. And meet new people.
I’m not trying to sound harsh, but I have been dealing with the same thing for months now. And no it’s not “single” men it’s everyone on the site who just want to wank off and Fulfilled their fantasies.
I’m not trying to sound rude but my suggestion is just go to clubs and whatever
Actually, I do care. If I've taken time out of my already busy day to meet a guy or couple and they don't show. Then I've wasted my time. I understand things pop up, but give prior notice or let them know. Don't just "not turn up".
Also, clubs aren't for everyone. Not everyone is a Voyeur or exhibitionist. Some like to have more personal and intimate meets. Or child arrangements/carer responsibilities so they can't go to clubs in the evenings.
I agree with OP, it's rude if someone just "doesn't show up" in my opinion."
100%
It shows a complete lack of class. It's not hard to do and totally disrespects the other person, who may have made a big effort or travelled some distance and who could have done something better with their day. Barring genuine disasters there are no excuses and no need for it. |
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"Honestly why is everyone complaining, who cares if someone doesn’t turn up their loss, there are plenty of clubs to go to. And meet new people.
I’m not trying to sound harsh, but I have been dealing with the same thing for months now. And no it’s not “single” men it’s everyone on the site who just want to wank off and Fulfilled their fantasies.
I’m not trying to sound rude but my suggestion is just go to clubs and whatever"
You dont want to sound harsh or rude? Maybe try seeing the bigger picture.
Not everyone has access to clubs. Nearest one to use is 55 miles away and we dont drive.
Not everyone has all the free time in the world.
We have to arrange our free time around around work and child care, might not be an issue for you but it is for others.
We also book hotel rooms out of our own pocket I will add. So you might be able to shrug off the cost of a hotel room. It others cant.
So if someone stood us up, we would have wasted a lot of effort and be out of pocket. We would have every right to be pretty pissed off.
Everyone has different circumstances. Yours will be different from everyone else but it does not change the fact that standing somone up is rude, selfish and a shitty thing to do to other human beings.
So please...dont treat standing people up.as such a trivial thing. People should at least have the decency to tell other people they've changed their mind about meeting.
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"Honestly why is everyone complaining, who cares if someone doesn’t turn up their loss, there are plenty of clubs to go to. And meet new people.
I’m not trying to sound harsh, but I have been dealing with the same thing for months now. And no it’s not “single” men it’s everyone on the site who just want to wank off and Fulfilled their fantasies.
I’m not trying to sound rude but my suggestion is just go to clubs and whatever
You dont want to sound harsh or rude? Maybe try seeing the bigger picture.
Not everyone has access to clubs. Nearest one to use is 55 miles away and we dont drive.
Not everyone has all the free time in the world.
We have to arrange our free time around around work and child care, might not be an issue for you but it is for others.
We also book hotel rooms out of our own pocket I will add. So you might be able to shrug off the cost of a hotel room. It others cant.
So if someone stood us up, we would have wasted a lot of effort and be out of pocket. We would have every right to be pretty pissed off.
Everyone has different circumstances. Yours will be different from everyone else but it does not change the fact that standing somone up is rude, selfish and a shitty thing to do to other human beings.
So please...dont treat standing people up.as such a trivial thing. People should at least have the decency to tell other people they've changed their mind about meeting.
"
Okay okay I understand what you are saying, I understand people can’t go to clubs at the drop of a hat, but I couldn’t either, I can’t drive, I haven’t got money for a hotel and a train ticket on top of that. But I still have to suck it up and try and do things differently, honestly when I went on the forums to vent i got told by loads of people go to clubs do this do that, when I say my reason for not going to clubs, it’s always oh you won’t get any meets then or I met loads of people though clubs. So I was only making a suggestion that others have always said to me.
I’ve been stood up more than once, and I’ve also had the Male half of the couple say only he’s turning up |
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"Is it such a big deal to ask for a social first. If you read our veris, it's supposedly worth it in the long run .
Yet again...supposed to be meeting at 2pm.. sat here at 2.50pm still alone "
You waited that long? |
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By *ola81Woman
over a year ago
pond |
There was a time few years ago I had 30 arranged social meets. 30 in a row no shows, ghosted, cancelled last second. It put me right off.
OP go to clubs or big organized fab socials where you can meet genuine people, you will have great time out out and your time will never be wasted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There was a time few years ago I had 30 arranged social meets. 30 in a row no shows, ghosted, cancelled last second. It put me right off.
OP go to clubs or big organized fab socials where you can meet genuine people, you will have great time out out and your time will never be wasted "
That's either exceptionally bad luck or some faulty due diligence |
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By *ola81Woman
over a year ago
pond |
"
That's either exceptionally bad luck or some faulty due diligence "
I have heard all possible and delusional excuses that can exist. I don't do second chances and clubs or big organized social is the way forward for me. Always good time, good laugh and great real people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"go to clubs or big organized fab socials where you can meet genuine people, you will have great time out out and your time will never be wasted "
Can't afford the Big clubs and waiting on finding out where socials are advertised so I can apply to come along |
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By *ola81Woman
over a year ago
pond |
"go to clubs or big organized fab socials where you can meet genuine people, you will have great time out out and your time will never be wasted
Can't afford the Big clubs and waiting on finding out where socials are advertised so I can apply to come along "
In a forum plenty of socials all over the country |
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"Is it such a big deal to ask for a social first. If you read our veris, it's supposedly worth it in the long run .
Yet again...supposed to be meeting at 2pm.. sat here at 2.50pm still alone "
That's just rude |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The Gloucester social is excellent and not far away if you're in Brum. I've been many a time. Great people."
Think I found the Social Section, not much showing for up here yet and I'll keep an eye out for Glos, as You say, it isn't too far away (& I have family out by Ross) |
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"The Gloucester social is excellent and not far away if you're in Brum. I've been many a time. Great people.
Think I found the Social Section, not much showing for up here yet and I'll keep an eye out for Glos, as You say, it isn't too far away (& I have family out by Ross)"
|
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"Is it such a big deal to ask for a social first. If you read our veris, it's supposedly worth it in the long run .
Yet again...supposed to be meeting at 2pm.. sat here at 2.50pm still alone "
Aww I'm sorry to read this its bloody horrible and has happened to me a fair few times. That and being ghosted.
I hope the genuine people begin to show up for you xx |
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"Is it such a big deal to ask for a social first. If you read our veris, it's supposedly worth it in the long run .
Yet again...supposed to be meeting at 2pm.. sat here at 2.50pm still alone "
Meet at clubs only! |
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"Is it such a big deal to ask for a social first. If you read our veris, it's supposedly worth it in the long run .
Yet again...supposed to be meeting at 2pm.. sat here at 2.50pm still alone "
It is simply awful and also discourages from meeting people. I have been stood up twice in the past year and that was twice too many - now it is very unlikely that I will agree to meet someone individually (I might take a chance now and then but that is rare). Oh, well. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Is it such a big deal to ask for a social first. If you read our veris, it's supposedly worth it in the long run .
Yet again...supposed to be meeting at 2pm.. sat here at 2.50pm still alone
It is simply awful and also discourages from meeting people. I have been stood up twice in the past year and that was twice too many - now it is very unlikely that I will agree to meet someone individually (I might take a chance now and then but that is rare). Oh, well."
Why would anyone stand you up...you are stunning. |
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The famous no show after plenty of promising messages and final arrange the social spen time getting ready to then be ghosted frustrating to say the least. These days im thinking clubs are the way forward |
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"The famous no show after plenty of promising messages and final arrange the social spen time getting ready to then be ghosted frustrating to say the least. These days im thinking clubs are the way forward "
Same here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Honestly why is everyone complaining, who cares if someone doesn’t turn up their loss, there are plenty of clubs to go to. And meet new people.
I’m not trying to sound harsh, but I have been dealing with the same thing for months now. And no it’s not “single” men it’s everyone on the site who just want to wank off and Fulfilled their fantasies.
I’m not trying to sound rude but my suggestion is just go to clubs and whatever"
problem for us is, we dont have any clubs near, so that meens a long trip and a hotel, so it gets hard for childcare and costs alot, so like to meet localy, we will try a club someday, but it will take alot of planning etc, so not so easy |
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"Honestly why is everyone complaining, who cares if someone doesn’t turn up their loss, there are plenty of clubs to go to. And meet new people.
I’m not trying to sound harsh, but I have been dealing with the same thing for months now. And no it’s not “single” men it’s everyone on the site who just want to wank off and Fulfilled their fantasies.
I’m not trying to sound rude but my suggestion is just go to clubs and whatever
problem for us is, we dont have any clubs near, so that meens a long trip and a hotel, so it gets hard for childcare and costs alot, so like to meet localy, we will try a club someday, but it will take alot of planning etc, so not so easy"
I totally understand that, I’m in the same boat.
Like the nearest club to me, is like two hours away by train (because I don’t drive) and even then I would have to take a taxi to the location, then as you said hotels, it’s a lot of money that I personally don’t have. I totally understand. The reason why I brought it up is because when I complained that’s what I got told to do.
And trust me it was hard. |
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"Is it such a big deal to ask for a social first. If you read our veris, it's supposedly worth it in the long run .
Yet again...supposed to be meeting at 2pm.. sat here at 2.50pm still alone
It is simply awful and also discourages from meeting people. I have been stood up twice in the past year and that was twice too many - now it is very unlikely that I will agree to meet someone individually (I might take a chance now and then but that is rare). Oh, well.
Why would anyone stand you up...you are stunning. "
Why indeed? Regardless how anyone looks, I guess those who stand people up do not see us as we matter, as if we are human or real. By selfish and thoughtless actions they also make it worse for everyone else... |
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"The Gloucester social is excellent and not far away if you're in Brum. I've been many a time. Great people.
Think I found the Social Section, not much showing for up here yet and I'll keep an eye out for Glos, as You say, it isn't too far away (& I have family out by Ross)"
London is easy enough to get to surely? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it such a big deal to ask for a social first. If you read our veris, it's supposedly worth it in the long run .
Yet again...supposed to be meeting at 2pm.. sat here at 2.50pm still alone "
It’s sad to see something like that happen, I think a little honesty makes a world of difference, if you can’t make it or you want to back out it’s the decent thing I would say. |
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"Get used to it , happens all the time or last minute cancellations
I know. Been swinging for 15 years. It's still annoying tho"
yes it's infuriating , I'm on 12 year's on here and it has got worse with no shows etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can tell you how to never good stood up, it will never fail.
I have never been stood up, so what you do is, never arrange to meet anyone, I know it sounds a bit drastic but it has 100% success rate  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I thought most people would like a social before anything else. Surley they waste their own time to after all that talking and making arrangements "
Very true |
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"Get used to it , happens all the time or last minute cancellations
I know. Been swinging for 15 years. It's still annoying tho"
Yes so annoying and upsetting. I try to flip things to make them positive and I do think ultimately it's a blessing that they didn't show. If they can behave this selfishly and thoughtlessly from the outset, they would not to have been worth any amount of your time and this behaviour might have come at an even more upsetting moment.
It boils down to people jumping in without thinking, which is why I've gone for a long profile on here. Communication is everything. I think putting it all out there whittles down the people to those who are genuinely interested in meeting and sharing a great time, which makes for a better chance for connection and chemistry. If it becomes obvious in their messages that they haven't bothered to read any of it, or they are making it all about themselves, it is a red flag early on.
Hope you keep the faith. It's true, there is an awful lot of this unthinking selfishness around, it's everywhere, but not everyone's the same. |
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By *reykiwi500Man
over a year ago
West Kent (near Tonbridge) |
"Get used to it , happens all the time or last minute cancellations
I know. Been swinging for 15 years. It's still annoying tho
Yes so annoying and upsetting. I try to flip things to make them positive and I do think ultimately it's a blessing that they didn't show. If they can behave this selfishly and thoughtlessly from the outset, they would not to have been worth any amount of your time and this behaviour might have come at an even more upsetting moment.
It boils down to people jumping in without thinking, which is why I've gone for a long profile on here. Communication is everything. I think putting it all out there whittles down the people to those who are genuinely interested in meeting and sharing a great time, which makes for a better chance for connection and chemistry. If it becomes obvious in their messages that they haven't bothered to read any of it, or they are making it all about themselves, it is a red flag early on.
Hope you keep the faith. It's true, there is an awful lot of this unthinking selfishness around, it's everywhere, but not everyone's the same."
Well said! |
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So fed up with time wasters when in Fuerte that we will now only meet on naturist beach that we frequent. Seems to cut out most of the dreamers, guys pretending to be a couple etc and it also doesn't waste our day.
To be recommended! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Get used to it , happens all the time or last minute cancellations
I know. Been swinging for 15 years. It's still annoying tho
Yes so annoying and upsetting. I try to flip things to make them positive and I do think ultimately it's a blessing that they didn't show. If they can behave this selfishly and thoughtlessly from the outset, they would not to have been worth any amount of your time and this behaviour might have come at an even more upsetting moment.
It boils down to people jumping in without thinking, which is why I've gone for a long profile on here. Communication is everything. I think putting it all out there whittles down the people to those who are genuinely interested in meeting and sharing a great time, which makes for a better chance for connection and chemistry. If it becomes obvious in their messages that they haven't bothered to read any of it, or they are making it all about themselves, it is a red flag early on.
Hope you keep the faith. It's true, there is an awful lot of this unthinking selfishness around, it's everywhere, but not everyone's the same."
Seems to be sound advice.
Whilst we do read a long profile we don’t believe people read ours often so we won’t lengthen it.
We’re now thinking that verifications are everything. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had 1 not turn up this week & 3 last minute cancel in the last 2 weeks. So annoying & losing faith in it now.
Should be able to mark people as potential time wasters."
People are mad, you look gorgeous, profile sounds spot on too x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This site does confuse me alot as we are all here for kind of the same reasons,I have so many people mess me about its hard enough sorting meets as it is... I'm not here to waste anyone's time I just want some hot sweaty fun  |
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"There was a time few years ago I had 30 arranged social meets. 30 in a row no shows, ghosted, cancelled last second. It put me right off.
OP go to clubs or big organized fab socials where you can meet genuine people, you will have great time out out and your time will never be wasted
That's either exceptionally bad luck or some faulty due diligence "
....or it never happened. Not even in same planetary system as plausible. Should of kept to single figures, or 5 -7 consecutive cancellations but over period of time. |
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"This site does confuse me alot as we are all here for kind of the same reasons,I have so many people mess me about its hard enough sorting meets as it is... I'm not here to waste anyone's time I just want some hot sweaty fun "
But it seems we're not. Lots of guys here just want to see pictures or videos with no intention of meeting and lots and lots of couples who are looking for that elusive single female. There are some lovely genuine guys on who we've met and played with but they are very much in the minority Lxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we've stopped looking for couples or women on here years ago when we realised most we men acting up ... so we only meet guys on here most we know from clubs that are on here ... but over the years we've learnt how to sniff the messers out and can say we cant remember the lastr time we were let down ...
the number of men on here pretending to be something else is very high |
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By *reykiwi500Man
over a year ago
West Kent (near Tonbridge) |
"Get used to it , happens all the time or last minute cancellations
I know. Been swinging for 15 years. It's still annoying tho
Yes so annoying and upsetting. I try to flip things to make them positive and I do think ultimately it's a blessing that they didn't show. If they can behave this selfishly and thoughtlessly from the outset, they would not to have been worth any amount of your time and this behaviour might have come at an even more upsetting moment.
It boils down to people jumping in without thinking, which is why I've gone for a long profile on here. Communication is everything. I think putting it all out there whittles down the people to those who are genuinely interested in meeting and sharing a great time, which makes for a better chance for connection and chemistry. If it becomes obvious in their messages that they haven't bothered to read any of it, or they are making it all about themselves, it is a red flag early on.
Hope you keep the faith. It's true, there is an awful lot of this unthinking selfishness around, it's everywhere, but not everyone's the same.
Seems to be sound advice.
Whilst we do read a long profile we don’t believe people read ours often so we won’t lengthen it.
We’re now thinking that verifications are everything. "
I do agree verifications are very important, but a decent length profile is also very helpful in my opinion. Helps those of us who are genuine determine whether interests align.
Having said that, mine might be a bit lengthy. Probably leaves little for initial conversation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Welcome to my world pretty much every meet  "
if its happening all the time then you need to step back and change your approch
we know a guy on here who was getting no where we had a social with him and everything he sent or was full on thinking was sexual so hubs said to him when he used to meet every message sent was no sexual ie thinking with your brain and not your balls ..he went away and tried it now about 7 years on he has well over 5- meets some regular ... its about approach |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never ever stood anybody up in life, 100pc honest yet can't get a meet .. and yet it seems so many women go for the unreliable guys who muck them about.. funny old world. I'm obviously on the wrong ferry ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it such a big deal to ask for a social first. If you read our veris, it's supposedly worth it in the long run .
Yet again...supposed to be meeting at 2pm.. sat here at 2.50pm still alone "
At least you gave them the chance to meet, speaking on behalf of all the guys here I know how hard that part is lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it such a big deal to ask for a social first. If you read our veris, it's supposedly worth it in the long run .
Yet again...supposed to be meeting at 2pm.. sat here at 2.50pm still alone "
Time wasters everywhere |
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It happens a lot. Often from people you wouldn't expect to be flaky. That's why we don't arrange meets on here. Either hook up at clubs or opportunistically hit on people when we are out and about (that often works surprisingly well and is good old school fun). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Got to say don't give up there are nice people out there and can tell the time waste ones
I had some time waste people
So what I do say a social near my town so if no show just go shopping instead and call I friend wink wink. |
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