No need to rush. Especially if you are OK with things if she turns out to want a monogamous relationship with you. Just work on getting to know her well and developing the trust and confidence to talk about everything. Then just test the water with your conversations. Has she ever fantasised about having a extra person or too? How does she feel about only having sex with the same person all her life? How would she feel watching others have sex? How would she feel watching you have sex? If the answers are positive then you could let her know there are other options possible in your relationship and your open to exploring them with her. Maybe pick a good club night to get a taste of the wider scene.
However if swinging in a relationship is a must have feature for you then the advice is the same but time scale shorter. Because you need to know if it's going to work for you or not. Because investing in something that's not going to work for you both is just wasting each other time. At the end of the day you don't want to mess anyone around. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"No need to rush. Especially if you are OK with things if she turns out to want a monogamous relationship with you. Just work on getting to know her well and developing the trust and confidence to talk about everything. Then just test the water with your conversations. Has she ever fantasised about having a extra person or too? How does she feel about only having sex with the same person all her life? How would she feel watching others have sex? How would she feel watching you have sex? If the answers are positive then you could let her know there are other options possible in your relationship and your open to exploring them with her. Maybe pick a good club night to get a taste of the wider scene.
However if swinging in a relationship is a must have feature for you then the advice is the same but time scale shorter. Because you need to know if it's going to work for you or not. Because investing in something that's not going to work for you both is just wasting each other time. At the end of the day you don't want to mess anyone around."
thank you for your detailed answers!
shes open about most things so we will see what she says  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"So new GF on the agenda
she isn't the most open sexually yet but has so much love to give im not against her sharing it with others and me sharing mine
Whats a good way to suggest? just ask?"
Yes just ask and if she says no accept it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Sounds like a bit of a gamble to me. My father instilled in me that you should only bet as much as you can afford to lose. Takes some of the fun out of it mind!
You called always try the three C's approach?
Communicate, communicate, communicate.
Best wishes and bon chance! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Pick your moment, when she's in a good mood n had a little drink maybe . Then tell a silly story. Like you over heard two work mates and one was talking about his friend. Who was having a cowboys and Indians party at his house for Couples. And all the Men put their car keys in a hat and the women picked them out and whoever keys they picked out they slept with.
Tell it like a joke n see what her reaction is if you don't get a reaction press her with a question. Like " do you think things like that really happened" n see what she says.
Or when your watching porn together search for videos like please fuck/bang my wife/gf on a regular basis to plant the seed in her head plus see if she says anything.
Another way if you feeling really confident talk about fantasys like you could say something like. For a long time you've always fantasized about whatever girl your going out with getting f***** by two black men with massive cocks but that's all it is a fantasy. Then BEG her NOT to turn up with two big black men the next time she comes to your house because it would freak you out when you opened the door. Make it a joke but see how she takes on these ideas.
I waited 9 months before asking my current girlfriend whether she wanted to do any swinging n I got a solid yes but I'd planted the seed quite a few times in her head before I asked .
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rMs.NeekCouple
over a year ago
Worcestershire |
Tricky one.... some good suggestions about dropping hints to see the reaction. Maybe easier than just coming out with it. I hadn't ever really been involved in swinging but my partner had. When he told me about Fab and the clubs I was quite shocked (I'm generally the more Liberal one in that dept). It did make me wonder for a while wtf I was doing and question or relationship. That was after about 3 months. But we're here as a couple now.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So new GF on the agenda
she isn't the most open sexually yet but has so much love to give im not against her sharing it with others and me sharing mine
Whats a good way to suggest? just ask?"
I would respect you're in a new relationship.
Maybe it's me but I don't understand why somebody in a brand new relationship is thinking about how to bring up swinging. together.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
