FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Getting courage to message
Getting courage to message
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Surely its much easier messaging somebody in terms of courage needed compared to actually meeting? Which going by your veris you have done successfully previously?
What's the worst that can happen? If they block you, then great you won't show up in each others search anymore and you can try to contact someone else who may be interested.
KJ |
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"I don't know, you either have the courage or you don't I think. What worries you?"
I know it sounds really daft when I say this, but I don't want to come across as rude or idiotic. I suppose that's my biggest worry.  |
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"
Surely its much easier messaging somebody in terms of courage needed compared to actually meeting? Which going by your veris you have done successfully previously?
What's the worst that can happen? If they block you, then great you won't show up in each others search anymore and you can try to contact someone else who may be interested.
KJ"
Yes this is true, you are right. Actually didn't consider this until you mentioned that. Thank you.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just dive right in and try and be pleasant, approachable and sound interesting etc (although even that might not work!).
And be prepared for LOTS of knockbacks, non-responses, messages remaining unread etc and don't take it personally. It's easy for your ego to take a battering on here but just remember the huge imbalance between men and women means you get very few positive responses.
Good luck.  |
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By *handsMan
over a year ago
Warrington |
Just bite the bullet, trust me most if they aren’t interested won’t reply, I’ve had 1 rude reply which I didn’t respond to (if there are like that I’m glad they said no!) you are here for a reason so go and enjoy yourself |
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"I don't know, you either have the courage or you don't I think. What worries you?
I know it sounds really daft when I say this, but I don't want to come across as rude or idiotic. I suppose that's my biggest worry. "
Oh ok.
Are you rude or idiotic? I doubt it |
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"I don't know, you either have the courage or you don't I think. What worries you?
I know it sounds really daft when I say this, but I don't want to come across as rude or idiotic. I suppose that's my biggest worry.
Oh ok.
Are you rude or idiotic? I doubt it "
I’d like to think I’m really not either of those thank you for your encouragement.
And thank to you the others as well who’ve replied with some thoughts and ideas. Really appreciated  |
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"Just send the message, chances are they won't even see the message as its such a sauage fest on here and the women pick the men they want to know."
Sausagefest is such an underused word I love it! |
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"Just send the message, chances are they won't even see the message as its such a sauage fest on here and the women pick the men they want to know.
Sausagefest is such an underused word I love it!"
I did laugh at that, it’s a massively underused word.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't know, you either have the courage or you don't I think. What worries you?
I know it sounds really daft when I say this, but I don't want to come across as rude or idiotic. I suppose that's my biggest worry. "
I would find it rude AND idiotic not to message me if you were interested so you can't really lose either way! |
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"I don't know, you either have the courage or you don't I think. What worries you?
I know it sounds really daft when I say this, but I don't want to come across as rude or idiotic. I suppose that's my biggest worry.
I would find it rude AND idiotic not to message me if you were interested so you can't really lose either way! "
Ok, now you put it that way, it does make sense.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What have you got to lose? The very worst that could happen is you get a rude reply, in which case they're not worth fretting over. Or you're ignored. Either way nothing changes in the real world for you.
Throw caution to the wind and see what happens. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dude you've been here over a year, you have 2 verifications already, what you worried about?
Im sure in the time you've been on fab you have dropped a message to a girl or 2.
Anyway dont worry about rejection least it cant get any worse lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your earliest verification was in October 2018 so you’ve been on here for at least 3 years and you’ve never messaged anyone? What do you do when you’re on here then? Why even are you on here if you don’t message anyone.... |
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Just do it confidence is one of the sexiest things you can have just don't send a generic message read the profile comment on pictures that caught your eye and remember the worse thing that can happen is nothing shoot your shot |
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What has the length of time anyone has been on here got to do with anything? Last time I looked there wasn't a best before date on any profile.
If someone is having a crisis of confidence regardless of previous interaction they need to be encouraged rather than told they are a time waster.
Many people are on this site threading water and taking what they need from it at their own pace.
Similar to all the threads about age equalling experience.
Just because someone has reached a certain point in their lives doesn't necessarily mean they have the same experience or self belief as others their age.
Hopefully since this thread started the OP has resumed messaging and is finding his feet again.
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"What has the length of time anyone has been on here got to do with anything? Last time I looked there wasn't a best before date on any profile.
If someone is having a crisis of confidence regardless of previous interaction they need to be encouraged rather than told they are a time waster.
Many people are on this site threading water and taking what they need from it at their own pace.
Similar to all the threads about age equalling experience.
Just because someone has reached a certain point in their lives doesn't necessarily mean they have the same experience or self belief as others their age.
Hopefully since this thread started the OP has resumed messaging and is finding his feet again.
"
Thanks mate, yes I have started messaging again and speaking to people so my confidence is slowly returning.
In answer to the others, I stopped messaging purely because of confidence plus situation outside of here. |
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"Just do it confidence is one of the sexiest things you can have just don't send a generic message read the profile comment on pictures that caught your eye and remember the worse thing that can happen is nothing shoot your shot "
Thank you for your advice, yea that’s what I’m doing first and finding little quirks to open with. Though I am slowly building my confidence back up again & had a few responses already. |
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We (men) are a dime a dozen on this site and texts get lost in the ether and a lot of that is not personal just admin so if you are just looking to either chat or looking for potential partners just get on the forums more so and the games they post .. fancy and photo challenges and then attend a club , just do it ..
we all started somewhere so just get on with it and don’t hold back my friend |
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