FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Wanting a video call to verify
Wanting a video call to verify
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Would like some advice, thanks in advance. So I was chatting to a couple and had agreed to meet but as they were unverified and I'm also unverified I asked for a video call so we all knew who to expect and I was blocked by them. Was this unreasonable? Thanks again |
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"Would like some advice, thanks in advance. So I was chatting to a couple and had agreed to meet but as they were unverified and I'm also unverified I asked for a video call so we all knew who to expect and I was blocked by them. Was this unreasonable? Thanks again "
I wouldn’t say that’s unreasonable, we would do the same. Just a quick “hi I’m not a catfish or fake” brief call. |
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I say not unreasonable to ask, however they may have been reluctant to give out their phone number for a WhatsApp call if that is what you were suggesting. That said, they could have just explained and not blocked you. Certainly I'd want some proof from anyone without verifications on their page as there are too many fake 'couples' on here.
Sounds like you may have spooked a catfish. |
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"Would like some advice, thanks in advance. So I was chatting to a couple and had agreed to meet but as they were unverified and I'm also unverified I asked for a video call so we all knew who to expect and I was blocked by them. Was this unreasonable? Thanks again "
Not unreasonable but they don't have to comply. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Would like some advice, thanks in advance. So I was chatting to a couple and had agreed to meet but as they were unverified and I'm also unverified I asked for a video call so we all knew who to expect and I was blocked by them. Was this unreasonable? Thanks again
I wouldn’t say that’s unreasonable, we would do the same. Just a quick “hi I’m not a catfish or fake” brief call."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I say not unreasonable to ask, however they may have been reluctant to give out their phone number for a WhatsApp call if that is what you were suggesting. That said, they could have just explained and not blocked you. Certainly I'd want some proof from anyone without verifications on their page as there are too many fake 'couples' on here.
Sounds like you may have spooked a catfish."
Yeah I completely get that as I won't hand out my mobile number on here and wouldn't expect anyone else too not when you add a quick picture or use a throwaway snapchat account. Cheers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not unreasonable. It can help as part of the selection process. The fact that they blocked means either you were right to be cautious or they just didn't want to do things the same way. Either way it's no problem and in to the next. For me very few chats on here convert to actual meets for various reasons. That's normal I think. |
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You wanted something they weren't prepared to give. As a single man I think you're right to take any measures you feel you should to feel safe, as a couple I think they were right not to do something they didn't want to. |
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"Would like some advice, thanks in advance. So I was chatting to a couple and had agreed to meet but as they were unverified and I'm also unverified I asked for a video call so we all knew who to expect and I was blocked by them. Was this unreasonable? Thanks again "
Entirely sensible. You could well have dodged the bullet of a fake couple - the sort run either by a single guy or someone married but whose wife isn't interested and probably doesn't even know her pictures are being used. Some folks seem to derive pleasure from wasting other people's time, even as far as arranging meetings which they have no intention of turning up to.
As for phone number privacy. Phones are cheap, disposable PAYG SIMs readily available. Why anyone would use their own private number for this purpose is baffling. We chose not to show our faces in this connection but are quite happy to show we're a real couple by appearing on camera together. If we were looking to meet couples, we'd expect the same or just walk away.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is something that I do with all new people . It’s stated on my profile and I drop it into conversation quote early on. There’s a number of people who get defensive about it and so it stops any further conversations quickly. It’s something I’ve done for a long time, especially with the amount of fake profiles on here - which I personally feel is getting worse.
Also there’s different apps which you can video call on without the need of giving your number out if you don’t feel comfortable. |
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We can understand how women/couples particularly might be reluctant to appear on camera or give their phone number to a stranger but that's where the Fab chatroom comes in. It's easy to go on camera for a few minutes just to show you're a couple. You can pick a room which is virtually empty and there's no need to show faces in order to do that so there's no risk of being identified. In the place of any single guy chatting to a couple here, that's what we'd do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would like some advice, thanks in advance. So I was chatting to a couple and had agreed to meet but as they were unverified and I'm also unverified I asked for a video call so we all knew who to expect and I was blocked by them. Was this unreasonable? Thanks again "
So did they not vid chat? Or did they block you afterwards...? |
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By * Plus ECouple
over a year ago
The South |
"Would like some advice, thanks in advance. So I was chatting to a couple and had agreed to meet but as they were unverified and I'm also unverified I asked for a video call so we all knew who to expect and I was blocked by them. Was this unreasonable? Thanks again "
He'd finished his wank and didn't need you any more.
E |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We can understand how women/couples particularly might be reluctant to appear on camera or give their phone number to a stranger but that's where the Fab chatroom comes in. It's easy to go on camera for a few minutes just to show you're a couple. You can pick a room which is virtually empty and there's no need to show faces in order to do that so there's no risk of being identified. In the place of any single guy chatting to a couple here, that's what we'd do. "
that’s a great idea i’ll try to remember it for the next time
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Would like some advice, thanks in advance. So I was chatting to a couple and had agreed to meet but as they were unverified and I'm also unverified I asked for a video call so we all knew who to expect and I was blocked by them. Was this unreasonable? Thanks again
So did they not vid chat? Or did they block you afterwards...?"
They blocked me after I had asked, so they didn’t video chat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would like some advice, thanks in advance. So I was chatting to a couple and had agreed to meet but as they were unverified and I'm also unverified I asked for a video call so we all knew who to expect and I was blocked by them. Was this unreasonable? Thanks again
So did they not vid chat? Or did they block you afterwards...?
They blocked me after I had asked, so they didn’t video chat "
Oooooooohhh ok thanks for reply...would you not ask for a live Kik pic instead?
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Definitely not unreasonable. If I’m chatting to someone unverified and things are looking to go further then I much prefer to have a social meet first… but if a bit of distance is involved then either talk on the phone (hidden numbers are fine, video chat (many ways to do this anonymously) or swap live pics on kik. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not unreasonable at all.
Take precaution. I actually have a seperate WhatsApp and now I'm starting to use telegram which is great as you can add by number or username. Much safer. Too many untrustworthy ppl. Never give out any private information on the internet like that.
The fact they blocked you immediately seems dodgy. |
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I mean to me that sounds like you called them out... Anyone who has been on Fab any length of time realises veris are important. If a profile is unverified then of course its not unreasonable to request some kind of pic or video to prove you are who you say you are before meeting.
Of course some people don't like video calls for whatever reason and of course that is absolutely fine. They can be somewhat anxiety-provoking especially for people that don't tend to use them in day-to-day life. But in that case the person or people in question should at least be able to produce a photo of themselves holding a bit of paper with today's date or a code word or something on it to prove they're not a catfish or a scammer.
Even as a man, theoretically at less risk from online 'predators' than women I like to be sure I'm meeting with someone legit before I spend time and money going to see someone. One could easily end up going to what one thinks is a casual sex meet but end up getting assaulted, robbed or worse. |
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Not unreasonable at all , but double standard me hates videoing , I look absolutely dreadful and don’t even FaceTime family and friends 
So I’d probably be reluctant if asked …
This said I think you had a lucky escape , not sure why they’d block you if they were genuine, in my opinion they could have explained their reservation and perhaps you could have settled for a phone call with all parties concerned to establish that they are a couple .
I personally wouldn’t meet without exchanging phone numbers anyway . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Would like some advice, thanks in advance. So I was chatting to a couple and had agreed to meet but as they were unverified and I'm also unverified I asked for a video call so we all knew who to expect and I was blocked by them. Was this unreasonable? Thanks again
So did they not vid chat? Or did they block you afterwards...?
They blocked me after I had asked, so they didn’t video chat
Oooooooohhh ok thanks for reply...would you not ask for a live Kik pic instead?
"
I did give ‘’them’’ several options kik was one of them |
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We’d never do a video call as we don’t give out our numbers.
So we’d just arrange a social drink and verify that way.
However it’s their choice and they don’t have to justify any reasons unfortunately.
Chalk up to experience and move on I’m afraid. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you everyone that has responded and for the suggestions. I completely understand that this topic can be a dividing one and is down too what each party is comfortable with. |
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I don't do 'wank videos' so if a bloke asked me to cam with him I would say no and end the conversation right there.
Maybe they felt the op just wanted vid/cam and they are looking for in person meets, who knows.
Block is the universal "end convo" so just find people that are looking for what you are. |
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By *ack-FMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
You are so right to ask …I once agreed to meet a couple who weren’t verified…they gave me an address and when I rang the doorbell a man with 2 kids at his heels answered the door… if onlyI could have found the person who set me up ….they would have been meeting their maker that day…. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't do 'wank videos' so if a bloke asked me to cam with him I would say no and end the conversation right there.
Maybe they felt the op just wanted vid/cam and they are looking for in person meets, who knows.
Block is the universal "end convo" so just find people that are looking for what you are."
This for all they knew OP you might be one of the wanking dead.
Who try to get couples to to watch them wanking on cam. |
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We don’t like giving out either of our numbers. But we would say that to you so you had the choice to say thanks but no thanks or take a chance. I wouldn’t worry about it. Just carry on as you are and ask for a call if and when you feel it’s necessary
Mrs J  x |
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By *urora1912Woman
over a year ago
Norfolk East anglia |
"Would like some advice, thanks in advance. So I was chatting to a couple and had agreed to meet but as they were unverified and I'm also unverified I asked for a video call so we all knew who to expect and I was blocked by them. Was this unreasonable? Thanks again
So did they not vid chat? Or did they block you afterwards...?
They blocked me after I had asked, so they didn’t video chat
Oooooooohhh ok thanks for reply...would you not ask for a live Kik pic instead?
"
If you have modified kik it's not a live picture either so also could not be the person |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have learnt our lesson from being tricked in the past, so now very soon into messaging (if it seems to be going in the direction of a possible meet) we ask for a phone call on speaker at the very least. Then if that goes well, we will suggest a Skype or WhatsApp video call. Basically to reassure them as well as us. Totally understand if they don't really want to do that immediately but it's a definite must, prior to making any further plans etc. Yes.. Often it stops the communication at that point which is OK as we then know not to waste any more time. But the really irritating thing is when they come up with one convincing reason after another which eventually makes us sceptical of everyone. I suppose they either get cold feet or more likely putting off being rumbled for as long as possible. Grrr |
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By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
"Would like some advice, thanks in advance. So I was chatting to a couple and had agreed to meet but as they were unverified and I'm also unverified I asked for a video call so we all knew who to expect and I was blocked by them. Was this unreasonable? Thanks again "
The "unreasonable aspect" may have come about by your use of the term " know who to expect " if this was interpreted as "what to expect". It is possible to come across as someone who is just to much hard work. What I am saying is your request has to be seen in context with the other conversations you were having. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not unreasonable at all.
Take precaution. I actually have a seperate WhatsApp and now I'm starting to use telegram which is great as you can add by number or username. Much safer. Too many untrustworthy ppl. Never give out any private information on the internet like that.
The fact they blocked you immediately seems dodgy."
Quote- "The fact they blocked you immediately seems dodgy"
^^^^^^^ I agree totally... No need to block. They could have explained they don't cam. They do seem "dodgy" as in could be fake. I too experience strange behaviour if I ask for a live Kik pic. Some just refuse point blank to send one. That to me is alarm bells.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I don't do video calls...not my scene..so I would politely decline any such request.
Also I would have to put my make up on and do my hair or I would look like a camels arse....
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"You wanted something they weren't prepared to give. As a single man I think you're right to take any measures you feel you should to feel safe, as a couple I think they were right not to do something they didn't want to. "
If they were a couple?
KM |
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People have different preferences. Most people are not compatible with most other people. When people find you're not compatible, they block you and chat stops. This is the Fab system and in site FAQs.
That's if they were genuine etc |
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You probably spooked a catfish.
Next time you suggest a video call give an alternative means for them to indicate they are genuine...
They could right the date or your username on a price of paper and send you the photo |
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"Personally I don't do video calls...not my scene..so I would politely decline any such request.
Also I would have to put my make up on and do my hair or I would look like a camels arse....
"
It's your prerogative of course but thing is that you don't need to show your face to show you're female and not a single guy posing as one. 
We never show our faces here but certainly don't mind proving we're a real couple on camera. Out of fairness, we don't ask guys to show their faces either. That's partly what the social meetings are for. The root of the problem is ascertaining whether couples are genuine before engaging too much with them. We feel camming here is the best way to do that and there's no concern about sharing phone numbers. It's surprising how many 'couples' whose profiles are full of pics of the female (including their faces sometimes) are unwilling to even just show their clothed bodies on camera. To us this is a good sign of accounts in which the female (if there ever was one) is no longer actively involved but being used as bait.
Fortunately we're not interested in couples so it's not a big issue for us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its just a hunch this so I can't say this with 100% certainty - but - being a veteran of Fab for many years now my semi-pro opinion is that you simply happened upon one of the entities that blight Fab commonly referred to as 'Timewasters' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would like some advice, thanks in advance. So I was chatting to a couple and had agreed to meet but as they were unverified and I'm also unverified I asked for a video call so we all knew who to expect and I was blocked by them. Was this unreasonable? Thanks again
So did they not vid chat? Or did they block you afterwards...?
They blocked me after I had asked, so they didn’t video chat
Oooooooohhh ok thanks for reply...would you not ask for a live Kik pic instead?
"
We just found out a couple of days ago that live kik pics may not be what they seem. We would never trust that again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You probably spooked a catfish.
Next time you suggest a video call give an alternative means for them to indicate they are genuine...
They could right the date or your username on a price of paper and send you the photo"
^^^^^^^ This most def...You can request a certain pose or get them to right something unusual on a body part while taking a live Kik pic |
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Interested to hear more of your experience with Kik live pic as this is our preferred method of verification. An in-app camera pic displays the word “camera” below it to show it was taken with the camera. How I this fake short of photographing a fake photo? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interested to hear more of your experience with Kik live pic as this is our preferred method of verification. An in-app camera pic displays the word “camera” below it to show it was taken with the camera. How I this fake short of photographing a fake photo?"
There are apps out there where you can upload a photo (any photo) and it will display the 'camera' thing on it.
We weren't aware until our friends showed us a few days back. Google 'kik fake live pic' and you'll find it |
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The app “wire “ is ideal - you can use it to speak or video call each other without disclosing phone numbers - phone numbers are dangerous as you can easily find other details which may not protect your anonimity
Looks like the op dodged a bullet
My wire is @ebh by the way - knocks spots off kik which is one dimensional |
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By *urora1912Woman
over a year ago
Norfolk East anglia |
"Interested to hear more of your experience with Kik live pic as this is our preferred method of verification. An in-app camera pic displays the word “camera” below it to show it was taken with the camera. How I this fake short of photographing a fake photo?"
Modified kik says its been taken with a camera when I fact it isn't live
Alot of admins use it now in groups as it alerts you to someone posting a non live picture |
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