FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Just a boy, standing in front of a swinging site, asking them to judge him
Just a boy, standing in front of a swinging site, asking them to judge him
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hello, been on and off here quite a while and noticed some conversations stopped when the other person viewed my profile (they had been going fine until they viewed me!). So this got me thinking that either my profile is shit or I'm not attractive to those people.
I've rewritten it and wondered if you kind people may be able to offer some feedback on it? Feedback on photos also welcome. Please be honest, I can take it!
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
It’s quite a funny read, but you should remove the bit demanding responses to your messages - it won’t make anyone adhere to your request who wouldn’t have done so anyway, but it will definitely put people off responding to you. |
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"Demanding responses, saying what you wont stand for, says straight but goes on about being hetro felixible etc..
 "
I don't see a problem with OP discussing being hetro flexible, he being candid and transparent about how his sexuality works for him.
Given the tone of his profile I would be inclined to say it's sarcasm and not demanding a reply actually but I could be wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It’s quite a funny read, but you should remove the bit demanding responses to your messages - it won’t make anyone adhere to your request who wouldn’t have done so anyway, but it will definitely put people off responding to you."
Can see what you mean - thank you, and done!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Demanding responses, saying what you wont stand for, says straight but goes on about being hetro felixible etc..
I don't see a problem with OP discussing being hetro flexible, he being candid and transparent about how his sexuality works for him.
Given the tone of his profile I would be inclined to say it's sarcasm and not demanding a reply actually but I could be wrong. "
Thanks for the feedback - you're right that I wasn't demanding a response for every single message, but can see it being read as that so have changed it.
Hete exible as a term I guess is contentious for a lot of folk, but I find it fits me quite well and hopefully I explain it ok |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just a personal opinion but I don't like your two pics with middle finger raised and photo of rolling eyes made me feel squeamish"
Affirmative with the rolling eyes. I'll get rid of that. Probably the middle finger is a bit childish isn't it? |
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By *ainsb1Man
over a year ago
North Lincs/S.Yorks |
I feel that maybe you should put some different pics up. Try to show your best features and not necessarily a dick pic. Just decent facial expressions and maybe some body pics. It would probably give people a different impression. But, you must do what you are happy with. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I feel that maybe you should put some different pics up. Try to show your best features and not necessarily a dick pic. Just decent facial expressions and maybe some body pics. It would probably give people a different impression. But, you must do what you are happy with."
Thank you! I'll have a think about which photos to put up. Do you mean more pictures smiling and not trying to look silly/whimsical? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just on the heteexible bit after a couple fo comments above. Fab only allows you to be straight, bicurious, bisexual or gay. I think OP explains his sexuality perfectly in his profile and if he feels from among the restrictive labels given to him that straight is more him that bicurious then who are we to argue?! It's dial not a switch no? |
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To be honest, it made for a different read! Some profiles and their owners take themselves a bit seriously and try to sell sex too hard.
Depends what you’re after overall, if it was a quick hookup and never speak to someone again, I wouldn’t say it’s great. On the flip side, it seems like you’re after someone/people with banter, etc. and if that’s the case, your profile is great! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Cute. A bit too long.
And... 'straight' and 'hetexible' don't really go together."
Thank you! I was a bit worried about the length as well.
Cue 'that's what she said' style innuendo |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" It's dial not a switch no?"
I like this a lot! Thank you. Perhaps I do need to explain the constraints of the Fab labels on the profile to make absolutely sure there isn't any confusion |
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"Are you actually 4'8?
I am not, but feel like I might as well be sometimes  . Should I put my actual height?"
Yes. I like to know how tall someone is. I have a min height that I look for because I’m tall and not knowing at all would put me off |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"To be honest, it made for a different read! Some profiles and their owners take themselves a bit seriously and try to sell sex too hard.
Depends what you’re after overall, if it was a quick hookup and never speak to someone again, I wouldn’t say it’s great. On the flip side, it seems like you’re after someone/people with banter, etc. and if that’s the case, your profile is great!"
Thank you for the feedback!
Haha, a quick hookup is fine, but a bit of banter and connection is great! I'm not averse to either I guess. Interestingggg. This profile thing is hard! It seems that no matter what you say you alienate people, which is not what I want to do! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Are you actually 4'8?
I am not, but feel like I might as well be sometimes . Should I put my actual height?
Yes. I like to know how tall someone is. I have a min height that I look for because I’m tall and not knowing at all would put me off"
See, this is why I don't put it! So many people are heightist on here! But I try and elude to being short in the bio itself - perhaps I do need to just say it explicitly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hello, been on and off here quite a while and noticed some conversations stopped when the other person viewed my profile (they had been going fine until they viewed me!). So this got me thinking that either my profile is shit or I'm not attractive to those people.
I've rewritten it and wondered if you kind people may be able to offer some feedback on it? Feedback on photos also welcome. Please be honest, I can take it!
"
Some of your pics really need to go and if you arent 4ft 8 id change that as you aremt being truthful and personally a lot wouldnt meet based on that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hello, been on and off here quite a while and noticed some conversations stopped when the other person viewed my profile (they had been going fine until they viewed me!). So this got me thinking that either my profile is shit or I'm not attractive to those people.
I've rewritten it and wondered if you kind people may be able to offer some feedback on it? Feedback on photos also welcome. Please be honest, I can take it!
Some of your pics really need to go and if you arent 4ft 8 id change that as you aremt being truthful and personally a lot wouldnt meet based on that."
Affirmative. And thank you - I've done the changes. The height one reluctantly, but I understand why |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The won't stand for two word reply bit just makes me want to say, bye then!! "
Haha! Honestly, I'd quite enjoy that! At least you'll have given me a laugh.
Honestly though, sometimes you're messaging someone and it is one or two word responses for message after message - what does that mean? Are they replying out of politeness? Are they shy? Busy? Uninterested?! You know what I mean? |
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"The won't stand for two word reply bit just makes me want to say, bye then!! "
The OP is simply stating a preference, which he is allowed to do. Given the way profile has been written I feel the OP is more interested in actually having a conversation in an hope to learn more about the other person, as they feel it can lead to a more pleasurable experience for all parties. At least that is my interpretation anyway and I could be wrong.
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" It's dial not a switch no?
I like this a lot! Thank you. Perhaps I do need to explain the constraints of the Fab labels on the profile to make absolutely sure there isn't any confusion "
Why? You explain how your sexuality works for you, if people have an issue with how your sexuality works that is their problem, not yours and really do you wish to play with people that question how you chose to identify?
Why would you want others to tell you how to do you? |
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"The won't stand for two word reply bit just makes me want to say, bye then!!
Haha! Honestly, I'd quite enjoy that! At least you'll have given me a laugh.
Honestly though, sometimes you're messaging someone and it is one or two word responses for message after message - what does that mean? Are they replying out of politeness? Are they shy? Busy? Uninterested?! You know what I mean? "
If I reply in one or two words it's most often just out of politeness and I'm uninterested |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
"The won't stand for two word reply bit just makes me want to say, bye then!!
The OP is simply stating a preference, which he is allowed to do. Given the way profile has been written I feel the OP is more interested in actually having a conversation in an hope to learn more about the other person, as they feel it can lead to a more pleasurable experience for all parties. At least that is my interpretation anyway and I could be wrong.
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You’re not wrong, but the OP is asking why conversations stop when people read his profile, and that bit is quite confrontational so it’s one thing that may put people off from further interactions. |
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"The won't stand for two word reply bit just makes me want to say, bye then!!
The OP is simply stating a preference, which he is allowed to do. Given the way profile has been written I feel the OP is more interested in actually having a conversation in an hope to learn more about the other person, as they feel it can lead to a more pleasurable experience for all parties. At least that is my interpretation anyway and I could be wrong.
You’re not wrong, but the OP is asking why conversations stop when people read his profile, and that bit is quite confrontational so it’s one thing that may put people off from further interactions."
Whilst I agree that some may find it confrontational, not everyone will, I certainly don't when taken in the context of the whole profile.
Maybe that says more about the people reading the profile than it does actually about the OP. If they are basing an interaction or lack of one on one sentence in profile. |
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"Hello, been on and off here quite a while and noticed some conversations stopped when the other person viewed my profile (they had been going fine until they viewed me!). So this got me thinking that either my profile is shit or I'm not attractive to those people.
I've rewritten it and wondered if you kind people may be able to offer some feedback on it? Feedback on photos also welcome. Please be honest, I can take it!
"
The bdsm test is right up there with Sydney University for us lol |
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