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Finding a genuine Mistress
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So have been around here for some time now. Years on and off at stages. I’m forever struggling to meet a real dominant mistress. Is it even possible on here?
I wondered if anyone could help me, or point me in the direction of the best place for me to find someone. Is it clubs? Parties? That sort of thing?
I’m 100% genuine and single and I like to think a pretty good catch, I don’t have problems meeting girls in a regular capacity and am pretty switched on. But the personality I really want to attract completely alludes me… any help much appreciated!
D x |
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By *DW1983Man
over a year ago
Blackpool, Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield |
You'd probably be better joining a site like Fet rather than Fab and going along to some social events. Get yourself known in that scene, treat socials same as swingers clubs, no expectations. There are plenty of dommes out there, but Fab probably isn't the best place to look. Don't expect to walk in an be dommed though. Take time to get to know people, build trust, etc.
(It won't allow me to write the full name but it starts in 'Fet', then 'life', then 'dot com') |
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There are a pletherer of Domina that work in your area so to finding one for sessions is not a problem.
I think your question is more about finding a FLR or Dominant female partner.
That is something completely different and requires two things.
1. Knowledge of bdsm practices and the bdsm scene in your area 2. Social interaction and networking with other individuals who are within the local bdsm scene.
This is the only way you will find a Dominant female partner.
And yes you may randomly meet someone and they turn out to be dominant, it happens but you are leaving that to chance. Your best oportunity is to be apart of the local bdsm scene and meet like minded individuals.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks both for your replies.
I haven’t tried fet as I read reviews which seemed to be pretty damning. Made me question if it’s actually genuine at all..?
I appreciate there is probably mistresses that I can pay for, but that just isn’t the dynamic I’m looking for. I want it to be more personal, not questioning all the time because I’m paying for it.
I don’t really know how to get into a local bdsm scene to be honest. Are any clubs focused towards it?
I would go along and be very considerate, zero expectations, I get that Is not the way to be. 
X |
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By *DW1983Man
over a year ago
Blackpool, Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield |
I'm not sure what Fet reviews you're read or why you'd think it's 'fake', but haven't looked either. I'm going to guess that they'd be the same as many guys would say about Fab - "timewasters, full of fakes, no meets,...". And if you just use it as a site to Love nice pics posted by the popular people, then yeah you might as well look at a porn site. And same as Fab, there are ones on there to publicise their OF accounts etc. BUT... Rather than just look, look for local events. Introduce yourself on the event page, say hi to the organisers. Go along to events ('munches'). Meet people. I've been on the social scene for years. I have a made some close friends (at least two of whom are dommes and seem to have an endless stream of guys fawning over them) as well as lots of acquaintances. Some events are big organised ones, others are just a few of us meeting for coffee.
It's like going to a club in the Fab world. You can sit looking at a screen and not get much from it, or you can be part if the scene. Even if the first few don't get you anywhere in your search directly, you'll be getting to know people, building a reputation, they will be getting to know what you're looking for, you'll meet more people, and on it goes. If you wait for it to come to you, the chances are it won't. |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics |
"I'm not sure what Fet reviews you're read or why you'd think it's 'fake', but haven't looked either. I'm going to guess that they'd be the same as many guys would say about Fab - "timewasters, full of fakes, no meets,...". And if you just use it as a site to Love nice pics posted by the popular people, then yeah you might as well look at a porn site. And same as Fab, there are ones on there to publicise their OF accounts etc. BUT... Rather than just look, look for local events. Introduce yourself on the event page, say hi to the organisers. Go along to events ('munches'). Meet people. I've been on the social scene for years. I have a made some close friends (at least two of whom are dommes and seem to have an endless stream of guys fawning over them) as well as lots of acquaintances. Some events are big organised ones, others are just a few of us meeting for coffee.
It's like going to a club in the Fab world. You can sit looking at a screen and not get much from it, or you can be part if the scene. Even if the first few don't get you anywhere in your search directly, you'll be getting to know people, building a reputation, they will be getting to know what you're looking for, you'll meet more people, and on it goes. If you wait for it to come to you, the chances are it won't."
Very eloquently put and great advice |
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"Brilliant advice JDW thank you.
Can I ask what are munches?
Thank you"
Munches are social events, held in public, just the same as the socials on here. But those that attend are more into the BDSM lifestyle /kinks |
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"So have been around here for some time now. Years on and off at stages. I’m forever struggling to meet a real dominant mistress. Is it even possible on here?
I wondered if anyone could help me, or point me in the direction of the best place for me to find someone. Is it clubs? Parties? That sort of thing?
I’m 100% genuine and single and I like to think a pretty good catch, I don’t have problems meeting girls in a regular capacity and am pretty switched on. But the personality I really want to attract completely alludes me… any help much appreciated!
D x "
As others have stated Fet would be a better place to find what you seek. it offers a wealth of information on the lifestyle.
It is also a good place to find events and socials, meet people in your area.
Unfortunately, unless you are prepared to get out in the community attend socials, and events you are not likely to find what you are looking for.
I hope you do find what you seek as there is a good BDSM community in Yorkshire. |
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"So have been around here for some time now. Years on and off at stages. I’m forever struggling to meet a real dominant mistress. Is it even possible on here?
I wondered if anyone could help me, or point me in the direction of the best place for me to find someone. Is it clubs? Parties? That sort of thing?
I’m 100% genuine and single and I like to think a pretty good catch, I don’t have problems meeting girls in a regular capacity and am pretty switched on. But the personality I really want to attract completely alludes me… any help much appreciated!
D x "
Look in AW   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Munches are your best bet, if you were in the southwest I’d be able to recommend about 5 ladies who Dom guys who might be worth taking too! "
Would be interested in approaching those ladies. |
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"Munches are your best bet, if you were in the southwest I’d be able to recommend about 5 ladies who Dom guys who might be worth taking too!
Would be interested in approaching those ladies. "
You’re a bit too south sorry, get to some of the excellent munches |
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Bad reviews for another place?
It's not a dating site. And people complaining that it isn't, is like complaining about the lack of boot space in a formula one car.
It's a huge forum with every conceivable kink having a sub thread. (And including some threads for meeting up)
Yes lots of fakes and scammers, because they know horny guys don't think clearly. But that's why you should go to munches.
Profiles are as good as people filling them in, but when you list your interests, you can also specify in what way.
E.g. spanking (giving) or spanking (recieving)
Munches are great. Turn up and socialise with kinky people, and it doesn't matter if their kinks / sexual preferences don't align, as it's not about getting a hook up. (But if it happens, even better.) |
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There's loads of fetish /bdsm events and fet is the place to look for those. It's just like any other site where you meet people, there are fakes.. But if you can tolerate here you can tolerate anywhere!
Purple mamba has a kink event on Friday (Nottingham). If you want to chat before you come I'll be there  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Munches are your best bet, if you were in the southwest I’d be able to recommend about 5 ladies who Dom guys who might be worth taking too!
Would be interested in approaching those ladies.
You’re a bit too south sorry, get to some of the excellent munches "
Beautifulnpart of the world but so little happens  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for all the messages so far guys, had some PMs too. Might try a club or two at some stage if I can pluck up the courage.
Appreciate the continued advice. It’s lovely to have helpful and kind people on here amongst all the crap that’s around too |
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"Thanks both for your replies.
I haven’t tried fet as I read reviews which seemed to be pretty damning. Made me question if it’s actually genuine at all..?
I appreciate there is probably mistresses that I can pay for, but that just isn’t the dynamic I’m looking for. I want it to be more personal, not questioning all the time because I’m paying for it.
I don’t really know how to get into a local bdsm scene to be honest. Are any clubs focused towards it?
I would go along and be very considerate, zero expectations, I get that Is not the way to be.
X"
You really would benefit from trying the aforementioned other site that caters towards a kinkier lifestyle, there are genuine people on there and there are some great local groups for you to get info about munches and fetish events, given that you are in yorkshire you are quite blessed in the sense that there are 3 local swingers clubs that all have well equipped dungeons and all run fetish events.
Mr Hayes. |
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I'm on said site and it's hard work.
Join and loom for events in your area, those who are genuine will attend and happily make convo and welcome you.
There are a lot of time wasters and people out there just trying to make money so just be careful.
Happy to answer any questions.
Shaz x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I class myself dominant/role playing...I'd scrutinise all potential subs' profiles. If any of the wording has a wrong connotation, I will not contact or carry on chatting with you.
The right wording, shows you have at least, read up about the scene.
Wording that will put me off: USE or ABUSE.....
hope that helps.
Take care OP |
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