FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Want to go to a club but
Want to go to a club but
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I’ve been on here for just over a year now, and I’ve been told that the best place to meet and get to know people is in clubs, however I feel uncomfortable going on my own like a Larry no mates lol, any advice |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
My advice is just do it. Lots of people (including me) go on their own and have a fabulous time. As long as you are approachable and know how to say "hello" to people you are likely to be just one of many people by themselves there, it's a very friendly environment.
Let the club management team know you are visiting for the first time, ask for a tour and to possibly to be introduced to some friendly regulars.
Check the website so you know dress code and and etiquette etc
Imagine if it's amazing fantastic experience and you've waited a year already |
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Bunny went on her own 2 weeks ago. Had a great time.
In the end what is the worst that happens, you go see some sexy people, who will not mind you looking and no one talks to you.
Its not intimidating just might no be a sexathon.
Expectations are key. The more you expect the more you are likely to be disappointed. But generally most people are decent and pleasant to talk to even if they are not into you sexually. Just know when to pick up on vibes if they are not into you.
We tend to chat for 5 to 10 minutes but then let people move on if we are not clicking. Saves them having to ask you to go, or if they leave don't follow unless invited.
If we are not sure we will leave it open, such as
"We are going to have a look in the playrooms, feel free to join us if you like." |
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I went on my own for the first time last weekend. I had picked and couples and singles women’s event. I had a ball. I just started chatting to people and they introduced me to other people.
I think it is about picking the right event |
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Yes, I can understand that. I don’t know where you are based, but my closest club is Townhouse. I think if I was a single guy then Milf Monday, sexploits or newbies and notsos would be good first events |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes, I can understand that. I don’t know where you are based, but my closest club is Townhouse. I think if I was a single guy then Milf Monday, sexploits or newbies and notsos would be good first events"
I’m in Essex Waltham abbey I need to get on google and have a look at what’s out there |
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"Yes, I can understand that. I don’t know where you are based, but my closest club is Townhouse. I think if I was a single guy then Milf Monday, sexploits or newbies and notsos would be good first events
I’m in Essex Waltham abbey I need to get on google and have a look at what’s out there "
Ah, yes. Probably a bit too far from Townhouse for my post to be useful. I’m sure they would have similar events in lots of clubs |
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By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
The best way to not look like a creep is to not be a creep. Be friendly and sociable, and don't make it all about sex. And of course always respect other people and their boundaries.
I usually go on my own, and I usually enjoy it. There's nothing unusual about a single man at a club, unless you get your dates mixed up and accidentally turn up on a couples night. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve been on here for just over a year now, and I’ve been told that the best place to meet and get to know people is in clubs, however I feel uncomfortable going on my own like a Larry no mates lol, any advice "
I heard some groups meet up before going to a swinging club. Just a little social first & they all go together then 
Maybe look into that OP & best of luck X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’ve been on here for just over a year now, and I’ve been told that the best place to meet and get to know people is in clubs, however I feel uncomfortable going on my own like a Larry no mates lol, any advice
I heard some groups meet up before going to a swinging club. Just a little social first & they all go together then
Maybe look into that OP & best of luck X"
Sounds good I’ll look that up |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Smile, socialise and be open to chatting and you’ll be fine.
Don’t follow women or couples around unless they’ve asked you. Don’t be one of the wanking dead. "
lol I wouldn’t do that at all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I cheated ,to break the ice at the old kestrals , i took a tray full of homemade belgium chocolates and shared them out, soon had some good friends made, |
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I went in guy mode within 2 weeks of joining fab to a club on my own best thing i ever did. Dont sit in corner looking like a rabbit in car headlights all night make effort chat to people they will chat back |
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If you decide which club you want to go to have a look in the forum to see if there’s a party or event happening. Often a forum thread about an event is good way to see who’s going and if anyone is getting together for predrinks or anything. You might end up not having to go alone. There might be other single guys or a group you could join. |
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Don’t be scared to go to a club there bascially just like going to a pub. Treat it the same chat to people and take it from there. Just don’t go expecting sex. What I would say is definitely don’t dress down into towel and start walking round the playrooms like lots of single guys do straight away. Just get chatting to couples and single women and sure you’ll have a amazing time. Be warned tho club life is addictive at times  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The best way to do it is to go and treat it just like you'd treat any other event - imagine going to a.. I dunno, a car boot sale, and just chatting to people about what they've got, or what they're doing.. be interested in them, not just in their bodies. Make conversation. Be honest - say you've never been to a club before and you're not sure what to expect. Everyone has their own 'First Time' story, and you might get to hear some of them. Relax, expect nothing, and enjoy each moment. This advice goes for everything in life, not just clubs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Clubs is a great way to go but also chatting in here and using Kik (for example) is a great way to meet people, you get to chat and know them and then build up to a group social and go from there.
Not as though doughnut and I have been very active with actual swinging we have met a great set of friends this way, had some amazing socials and got a few good meets out of them. Good luck
Danish x |
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Only creeps and people with the wrong attitude will put people off. Just treat it like a pub, which it is mostly similar to, if you spend time around the bar. Have a plan to just get to know the place and the vibe and chat to a few people, spending an hour or two just getting that first trip experience |
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I don't want to be brutal here but what do you think will happen when you go to a club?
Going to a club is no different from going to a pub or club. Make sure you are well presented, sociable and respectful. Don't assume just because you paid for a membership and entrance fee you are entitled to sex.
If you are not the confident type and have difficulties to socialise you will certainly be eaten by the Alpha types. Grow a pair and like most guys I know, go alone and as long as you choose the right club to visit just relax and enjoy the experience. |
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Clubs are very much like going to pubs, be yourself.
Trust me as long as you are respectful to the ladies, they are likely to invite you to play and to join in.
Just don't assume they will allow you join in a group scene certainly don't touch unless invited too.
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I've been clubs as a couple & single. Both different experiences but I loved both.
As most have said as long as you are friendly, approachable & respectful you will have an amazing time.
I've never looked back since my first club. |
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By *rMrsRichCouple
over a year ago
Bournemouh |
While we’re on the club discussion, the fella and I are desperate to go to a club night but haven’t done it before and ever so slightly terrified haha.
One question I have is how do you get across not being interested without feeling like a shit? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"While we’re on the club discussion, the fella and I are desperate to go to a club night but haven’t done it before and ever so slightly terrified haha.
One question I have is how do you get across not being interested without feeling like a shit? "
No matter what you do you will never please everyone, I have learnt that the hard way
So no matter how you say it you will upset or not upset someone it’s just life |
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By *he LsCouple
over a year ago
East Midlands |
"While we’re on the club discussion, the fella and I are desperate to go to a club night but haven’t done it before and ever so slightly terrified haha.
One question I have is how do you get across not being interested without feeling like a shit? "
Generally a polite "you are not my type" or "no thanks" is fine, we happily chat to people in clubs but not everyone we speak to we want to play with and that goes both ways.
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By *he LsCouple
over a year ago
East Midlands |
"I don't want to be brutal here but what do you think will happen when you go to a club?
Going to a club is no different from going to a pub or club. Make sure you are well presented, sociable and respectful. Don't assume just because you paid for a membership and entrance fee you are entitled to sex.
If you are not the confident type and have difficulties to socialise you will certainly be eaten by the Alpha types. Grow a pair and like most guys I know, go alone and as long as you choose the right club to visit just relax and enjoy the experience. "
Good advice there, making an effort is important.
Solid frogstand by the way |
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"I don't want to be brutal here but what do you think will happen when you go to a club?
Going to a club is no different from going to a pub or club. Make sure you are well presented, sociable and respectful. Don't assume just because you paid for a membership and entrance fee you are entitled to sex.
If you are not the confident type and have difficulties to socialise you will certainly be eaten by the Alpha types. Grow a pair and like most guys I know, go alone and as long as you choose the right club to visit just relax and enjoy the experience.
Good advice there, making an effort is important.
Solid frogstand by the way "
Thanks it did take me few sessions to get it right  |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
I would say it’s fine to go on own. I go on my own often. Don’t get me wrong if it’s one of my regular clubs, I am guaranteed to always know someone even if it is just the bar staff, who often are swingers themselves and will introduce you to others.
I would say avoid a large party night at first as normally lot of people, who know each other. Like others have said, mention to club it’s first time on arrival. They will often show you around, or ask a regular to. Useful to know where the toilets are and where you can freshen up if needed, also what areas are couples only.
If I go to another club, I actually say it’s either my first time or I haven’t been here for a long time with the staff. That breaks the ice as well. Though I did have a walk around at another club as I was new they had to do it and I joked that I have given club tours at other clubs before and it again broke the ice
For me also, I went last weekend to club and watch a few people play. Was I lucky to have any full play no. Was it a good opportunity to meet new people - yes it was. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I often go alone, though my preference would be to go as a couple or with a meet arranged at the club.
It’s like going to the pub alone, if you’re outgoing and engaging people will talk to you; if you stand in a corner looking awkward and nursing a drink then they won’t! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As per the film 'the intern' i always carry a neatly clean ironed hanky, ,,, for the ladies , several times had it on hand to give to a lady trying to wipe her eyes clear of errrrr stuff |
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So first time back at a club since the pandemic hit and had a lovely night.
My observations, people are genuinely very polite and will talk if you engage them.
But equally if you go as a group ie 2 couples or even a 3 some, people tend to be polite and not try to enter your circle of discussion.
The club tour is a great way to say hi and discuss different room types and expand from there.
In the end you have to be confident enough to approach someone and say hi. |
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