FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > A mini rant…
A mini rant…
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I rarely start threads. And often when I do they are generally without reply. Or I am lambasted myself. My humour is self deprecating so often the point missed.
However, as I have thumbed through the forums of late - One in particular - I have seen some replies that have shocked me how easy people find it easy to shame other people’s appearances and destroy peoples confidence. Why they feel it acceptable is beyond me.
I am confident in my self but not an Adonis by any means. I am lucky I don’t often find myself in this situation and if I do I can generally let it wash over me.
But I want to say this… to all you fabbers who have also come across this - anyone feeling like this applies to them and to the few (and it is very few) that feel it acceptable to be crass, mean and obnoxious, In my time swinging, I have found and continue to find all manner of shapes, sizes, ethnicity and orientation to be incredibly sexy. The moment and the people… that’s the turn on. The freedom this lifestyle allows us all to be ourselves or to each individual an escape from our ourselves and mundanity.
Please leave your narrow views at the gate and the animosity at the door. It’s not welcome. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Everyone finds different things attractive. No one should be judged or made to feel inadequate. Think before you speak or don’t say anything.
Happy Fabbing Folks.
As you were. |
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Well said. It horrifies me how nasty people can be. One of the best things about swinging is that the majority of people are accepting of everyone whatever their age, size, race etc. Unfortunately there will always be those that think they're beautiful and better than the rest of us. I hope, and suspect, they enjoy themselves far less than the rest of us x |
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We always try to keep in mind, Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
By all means have a preference but remember its only your opinion and not FACT. Opinion and fact are two entirely different things.
G&A |
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We recently attended a club for the first time, and found it liberating. People of all ages, shapes and sizes were present, in all areas where such things can be measured, and everyone was welcomed without judgement or prejudice.
I agree that some people here don’t operate in such an open and welcoming way, and that simply helps define who we would and wouldn’t meet from here. Already we’ve met some fantastic people from all walks of life and had some amazing experiences.
Don’t let a few spoil your experience with the many. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Eh, it's like water off a duck's back tbh. I just bear in mind that the people making these kinds of posts are usually really bitter and jealous. It definitely helps  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Providing your nice on the inside, I might not stick my dick in you or lend you MrsN, but we can certainly have a drink, a chat and a laugh. Judgemental fucks can go fuck themselves (and probably no one else!). Rock out with your cock our as far as we are concerned! M and N xx |
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It happens here, but to be honest probably less than in normal society! We love the mix of folks we've met in the lifestyle, and being bigger ourselves love that we can feel comfortable with our bodies in a sexual context outside of just us. |
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What a lovely post, OP!
We are all beautiful in our own right. This is something each and every one of us needs to remember. We are all on our own journey of discovery and learning, each at a different stage in life.
I do wish more people were able to show more compassion and understanding particularly in the world we're living in today!
The virtual world can be even more cruel than the reality. So important to steer clear of that when feeling delicate and surrounding oneself with people who support and love us! |
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Indeed OP indeed!
Unfortunately some people like this but what can we do. We are not all angels
And what I like to say is a imperfection is perfection because simply nobody in this world is perfect. You are you and nothing else but you. And if people don’t like it that is their problem. |
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"I rarely start threads. And often when I do they are generally without reply. Or I am lambasted myself. My humour is self deprecating so often the point missed.
However, as I have thumbed through the forums of late - One in particular - I have seen some replies that have shocked me how easy people find it easy to shame other people’s appearances and destroy peoples confidence. Why they feel it acceptable is beyond me.
I am confident in my self but not an Adonis by any means. I am lucky I don’t often find myself in this situation and if I do I can generally let it wash over me.
But I want to say this… to all you fabbers who have also come across this - anyone feeling like this applies to them and to the few (and it is very few) that feel it acceptable to be crass, mean and obnoxious, In my time swinging, I have found and continue to find all manner of shapes, sizes, ethnicity and orientation to be incredibly sexy. The moment and the people… that’s the turn on. The freedom this lifestyle allows us all to be ourselves or to each individual an escape from our ourselves and mundanity.
Please leave your narrow views at the gate and the animosity at the door. It’s not welcome. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Everyone finds different things attractive. No one should be judged or made to feel inadequate. Think before you speak or don’t say anything.
Happy Fabbing Folks.
As you were. "
Nicely put. Polly xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree, this place seemed to be a lot friendlier about 10 years ago people seemed to just get in touch chat and connect, on many levels!, if they got on instead of throwing up pages of criteria that people need to meet and mocking those who dont.
Just remember we are on here because we like variety/,different and alternative views and looks, keep being you.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I recently had a social with a couple and even though photos had been exchanged and she'd called me "handsome" (bare in mind they where photos taken that day and I'd been on nights too) the look of pure disgust on her face when we met said it all.
I felt small, angry and ashamed of myself as a person.
I wouldn't have minded but she looked nothing and I mean nothing like her photos to the point where they had to wave me over as I didn't recognise either of them.
After that initial look she gave me the ground could have opened up and swallowed me whole.
They then began to bullshit their way out of the social and couldn't get away quick enough.
Horrible, totally horrible.
This place has deffo changed for the worst over the last few years. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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New age.
New attitude.
Too many filters.
Everyone is clambering to be recognised and accepted, be it through social media or sites like this.
The way it is now, people aim for visual attention. Their photos are filtered, airbrushed and manipulated to make them more appealing, which disguises how they really look.
To push themselves forward to be recognised, goes back to schoolyard tactics.
Point out somebody elses flaws and get everyone to join in berating them, to make the shallow person detract their own ugliness and poor behaviour.
Personality, charm and deportment is definitely falling by the wayside in recent times.
What ever happened to accepting people for their character and sense of humour?
We need more compassion and less fashion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"New age.
New attitude.
Too many filters.
Everyone is clambering to be recognised and accepted, be it through social media or sites like this.
The way it is now, people aim for visual attention. Their photos are filtered, airbrushed and manipulated to make them more appealing, which disguises how they really look.
To push themselves forward to be recognised, goes back to schoolyard tactics.
Point out somebody elses flaws and get everyone to join in berating them, to make the shallow person detract their own ugliness and poor behaviour.
Personality, charm and deportment is definitely falling by the wayside in recent times.
What ever happened to accepting people for their character and sense of humour?
We need more compassion and less fashion."
This recent not so social social has really knocked my confidence to the point where I'm considering packing it all in on Fabs.
I'm not soft, it's all just sticks and stones to me but to judge someone who's been honest when you've not been truthfull yourself seems an accepted hypocracy on this site and on principle it's not something I'm prepared to put up with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"New age.
New attitude.
Too many filters.
Everyone is clambering to be recognised and accepted, be it through social media or sites like this.
The way it is now, people aim for visual attention. Their photos are filtered, airbrushed and manipulated to make them more appealing, which disguises how they really look.
To push themselves forward to be recognised, goes back to schoolyard tactics.
Point out somebody elses flaws and get everyone to join in berating them, to make the shallow person detract their own ugliness and poor behaviour.
Personality, charm and deportment is definitely falling by the wayside in recent times.
What ever happened to accepting people for their character and sense of humour?
We need more compassion and less fashion.
This recent not so social social has really knocked my confidence to the point where I'm considering packing it all in on Fabs.
I'm not soft, it's all just sticks and stones to me but to judge someone who's been honest when you've not been truthfull yourself seems an accepted hypocracy on this site and on principle it's not something I'm prepared to put up with."
Ask yourself who was the most genuine out of the situation.
They were the ones who weren't how they portrayed themselves.
Chalk it up to experience, pay it no heed and move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the whole point of this thread is that this sort of shite effects different folks in different ways.
Some find it more difficult to move on after certain scenarios have gone down whether ot be face to face or over the internet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I originally joined this site about five years ago and sad to say the abuse started almost immediately, mostly about my age. At first I was very despondent and wondered if I’d made a terrible mistake. However as time went by I learned to ignore the haters/abusers and treated them with the contempt they deserved.
My view now is they are entitled to spout their bile and I am entitled to ignore them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the whole point of this thread is that this sort of shite effects different folks in different ways.
Some find it more difficult to move on after certain scenarios have gone down whether ot be face to face or over the internet."
The more you hang on to it, the more it will eat away at you.
Cut it loose and be happy in the fact you're not like them. |
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By *uckIslandCouple (FF)
over a year ago
East of England |
"I rarely start threads. And often when I do they are generally without reply. Or I am lambasted myself. My humour is self deprecating so often the point missed.
However, as I have thumbed through the forums of late - One in particular - I have seen some replies that have shocked me how easy people find it easy to shame other people’s appearances and destroy peoples confidence. Why they feel it acceptable is beyond me.
I am confident in my self but not an Adonis by any means. I am lucky I don’t often find myself in this situation and if I do I can generally let it wash over me.
But I want to say this… to all you fabbers who have also come across this - anyone feeling like this applies to them and to the few (and it is very few) that feel it acceptable to be crass, mean and obnoxious, In my time swinging, I have found and continue to find all manner of shapes, sizes, ethnicity and orientation to be incredibly sexy. The moment and the people… that’s the turn on. The freedom this lifestyle allows us all to be ourselves or to each individual an escape from our ourselves and mundanity.
Please leave your narrow views at the gate and the animosity at the door. It’s not welcome. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Everyone finds different things attractive. No one should be judged or made to feel inadequate. Think before you speak or don’t say anything.
Happy Fabbing Folks.
As you were.
Nicely put. Polly xx"
Totally agree and well said. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I rarely start threads. And often when I do they are generally without reply. Or I am lambasted myself. My humour is self deprecating so often the point missed.
However, as I have thumbed through the forums of late - One in particular - I have seen some replies that have shocked me how easy people find it easy to shame other people’s appearances and destroy peoples confidence. Why they feel it acceptable is beyond me.
I am confident in my self but not an Adonis by any means. I am lucky I don’t often find myself in this situation and if I do I can generally let it wash over me.
But I want to say this… to all you fabbers who have also come across this - anyone feeling like this applies to them and to the few (and it is very few) that feel it acceptable to be crass, mean and obnoxious, In my time swinging, I have found and continue to find all manner of shapes, sizes, ethnicity and orientation to be incredibly sexy. The moment and the people… that’s the turn on. The freedom this lifestyle allows us all to be ourselves or to each individual an escape from our ourselves and mundanity.
Please leave your narrow views at the gate and the animosity at the door. It’s not welcome. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Everyone finds different things attractive. No one should be judged or made to feel inadequate. Think before you speak or don’t say anything.
Happy Fabbing Folks.
As you were. "
Well said, I do hope your ok xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I recently had a social with a couple and even though photos had been exchanged and she'd called me "handsome" (bare in mind they where photos taken that day and I'd been on nights too) the look of pure disgust on her face when we met said it all.
I felt small, angry and ashamed of myself as a person.
I wouldn't have minded but she looked nothing and I mean nothing like her photos to the point where they had to wave me over as I didn't recognise either of them.
After that initial look she gave me the ground could have opened up and swallowed me whole.
They then began to bullshit their way out of the social and couldn't get away quick enough.
Horrible, totally horrible.
This place has deffo changed for the worst over the last few years."
This seems to be about you and not the couple. It seems they stayed had a drink ,chatted then left as you weren't for them? That is totally normal and their right, and how many socials will go as not all will lead to sex / compatibility.
The fact your saying stuff like it made you feel angry really isn't good buddy. I hope you find support to manage those types of feelings.
Good luck KJ
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