Hi,
Not sure if this is the right area or not but need some help with my current situation.
Firstly, I am married with children. I love my wife very much and not looking really to damage our relationship.
However, I am increasingly wanting to unlock my inner slut and meet guys whilst dressed. Obviously my wife wouldn’t approve of this.
Does anyone else do this? How does it affect your conscience and how do you ensure it’s safe? Should I talk it out with my wife (not wanting to, she’s very vanilla and would be shocked at the idea)
I get the impression it’s sort of more common the. I think.
Thanks. |
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Not something I've any experience of and I hope you've had some useful private replies.
All I will say is do you want to live your life hiding a part of it from someone you love? I know you don't want to talk to her but what would damage your relationship more, you being honest with her or her finding out some other way somewhere down the line? |
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By *panddaCouple
over a year ago
West Mids |
"Not something I've any experience of and I hope you've had some useful private replies.
All I will say is do you want to live your life hiding a part of it from someone you love? I know you don't want to talk to her but what would damage your relationship more, you being honest with her or her finding out some other way somewhere down the line?"
What a nice way to put it.
We find it hard to understand when someone says that they really love their wife, yet they hide major life-changing things from her.
Isn't love about honesty, respect, trust??
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She might be very shocked, but she deserves the right to know.
You say you love her, then don’t take her choices away from her.
She might surprise you, she might not.... but at least you’ll not have to spend the rest of your life hiding things and she can consensually decide for herself if it’s something she’s happy with or wants to be part of.
A friend was in a similar situation (the female) and whilst she wasn’t happy for him to meet, she was fine with the cross dressing and cam type fun.
You never know until you ask  |
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I have no experience of this, but my understanding is that your desire to dress will be a huge part of who you are. Very difficult to suppress. Could you not try to discuss that part alone with your wife? Would it be enough to be able to dress more often?
The wanting to cheat on your wife is a different thing. If you’re a bi/gay man in a straight relationship then that will be incredibly hard for you.
Your wife will find out eventually, they always do and it will devastate her. Finding out your husband is cheating is hard enough. Finding out that your husband is cheating with other men, dressed as a woman will be even harder. My advice would be to not do that to her. Either make your choice to stay and be faithful, get her permission to meet men, or leave her and start your new life. The only unacceptable option is doing it behind her back. You can’t possibly do that and have and have any respect for her.
If your wife if c |
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"obviously" your wife wouldn't approve..... have you asked her?
Count me among those who can't understand hiding something that important from someone you say you love. And if you start having sexual contact with other people without her knowing, and continue to have sex with her, you are exposing her to risks without her consent and which she cannot weigh up.
Talk. Communicate. And if it's a deal breaker then sadly, it's a deal breaker. |
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People can grow to accept most things but not when they come as a nasty surprise. Or if they’ve been happening behind one’s back for years.
Honesty is key! Telling her will be the hardest thing you’ve ever done. But if this is a big enough part of you that you cannot suppress it, you owe it to your life partner, and equally yourself, to be totally upfront.
Take it from someone who’s been on both sides, a life free from lies is wonderfully liberating. Deceit eats people up.
Best of luck, OP. |
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