FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Hiya new and not having any luck??
Hiya new and not having any luck??
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Make sure your profile presents you in the best possible light. Have a variety of good photos and have some interesting text that shows you are somebody worth meeting.
Make sure your messages are worth replying to (not "Hi, how are you" sort of thing). You need to engage people in conversation and show you are respectful. There aren't many who would invite somebody into their bed if they can't chat with with them.
This is generic advice for anybody. Single men need patience and perseverance. The number of men on this site hugely outnumber the number if women. You have to stand out or you will just get lost in the crowd.
Don't forget that in much of the time you have been here many Fabbers have not been meeting at all due to the pandemic, so it's not at all surprising you haven't met anybody in that time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Stop following the crowd with dick pics.....
Follow the others who have better quality and subject photographs.
Those are the profiles you need to look through - plus their verifications, on why they are popular...
Once you've cracked that - at least you'll stand a chance of a reply.
Oh and guys who are reading!!!
Minimise the age restrictions...
I mean really - 18-99
You'd fuck those age groups?
Tells me, it's a type of unpleasant perversion that shouldn't be on here.......
 |
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By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
"Stop following the crowd with dick pics.....
Follow the others who have better quality and subject photographs.
Those are the profiles you need to look through - plus their verifications, on why they are popular...
Once you've cracked that - at least you'll stand a chance of a reply.
Oh and guys who are reading!!!
Minimise the age restrictions...
I mean really - 18-99
You'd fuck those age groups?
Tells me, it's a type of unpleasant perversion that shouldn't be on here.......
"
That assumption is appalling. It's not a perversion to engage with older people in some way . It is unlikely that anyone is on the site at 90 years old but leaving the age range unchanged from the default is not indicative of anything other than one is happy to chat to people of any age. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Stop following the crowd with dick pics.....
Follow the others who have better quality and subject photographs.
Those are the profiles you need to look through - plus their verifications, on why they are popular...
Once you've cracked that - at least you'll stand a chance of a reply.
Oh and guys who are reading!!!
Minimise the age restrictions...
I mean really - 18-99
You'd fuck those age groups?
Tells me, it's a type of unpleasant perversion that shouldn't be on here.......
That assumption is appalling. It's not a perversion to engage with older people in some way . It is unlikely that anyone is on the site at 90 years old but leaving the age range unchanged from the default is not indicative of anything other than one is happy to chat to people of any age. "
If it's unlikely they why put it. To me, it looks desperate at least and what I mentioned above at worse..
Why 'edge your bets' to look desperate ... Be realistic, like you would be in the real world. |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"Stop following the crowd with dick pics.....
Follow the others who have better quality and subject photographs.
Those are the profiles you need to look through - plus their verifications, on why they are popular...
Once you've cracked that - at least you'll stand a chance of a reply.
Oh and guys who are reading!!!
Minimise the age restrictions...
I mean really - 18-99
You'd fuck those age groups?
Tells me, it's a type of unpleasant perversion that shouldn't be on here.......
That assumption is appalling. It's not a perversion to engage with older people in some way . It is unlikely that anyone is on the site at 90 years old but leaving the age range unchanged from the default is not indicative of anything other than one is happy to chat to people of any age. "
No it means they have not thought about their profile and put no effort in to make it the best it can be |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Ive spoke to a lot of ladies and most say they wouldn't converse with a guy who's age restrictions, 18-99 haven't been altered.
The reason they've given, is the one I first mentioned.
It's rare this is ever spoke about on the forums for obvious reasons.
I'll take my punishment for doing so.  |
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"Any advise
"
It's crystal clear to me why you can't get laid but I'm not telling you what to do.
If you think your profile will attract those you want to swing with, don't change it.
If you want a wet cock, consider something else, swinging is more than that, way more. |
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
"Any advise
"
Actually make a profile. Get rid of the dick pic as your profile pic, take some proper pics (one or two tasteful dick pics are fine if mixed in with some body/clothed pics), and write something that gives us an idea of who you are and what you're like. |
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Yes, get rid of the cock pic, _ased on that avatar id delete any message from you.
Take some new pics, they can be clothed, of your bum,torso etc, leave something to the imagination.
Write a profile, what are you offering and why should someone choose you.
Miss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Your profile is not great. No bio and photo isn’t great. You get out what you put in on this site"
This really irks me because it's always women and couples who say this. Most have no idea what it's like as a single man on fab.
As a man it's more like a lottery. The odds aren't in your favour on here  |
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"Your profile is not great. No bio and photo isn’t great. You get out what you put in on this site
This really irks me because it's always women and couples who say this. Most have no idea what it's like as a single man on fab.
As a man it's more like a lottery. The odds aren't in your favour on here "
And to a woman your reply irks us as you have no idea how many times we hear that poor excuse x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Your profile is not great. No bio and photo isn’t great. You get out what you put in on this site
This really irks me because it's always women and couples who say this. Most have no idea what it's like as a single man on fab.
As a man it's more like a lottery. The odds aren't in your favour on here
And to a woman your reply irks us as you have no idea how many times we hear that poor excuse x "
Let's be honest, most women do not put effort into their profiles but have success. I'll be the first to admit my profile is pretty bad yet I recieve dozens of messages a day.
I think most men have good profiles yet never meet anyone. The fact is most on fab are seeking women and couples. Men are just lucky if they even just get a message.
Fab is bad for men unless they fulfil a fetish such as BBC, bull, etc or if they provide free "stuff". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Your profile is not great. No bio and photo isn’t great. You get out what you put in on this site
This really irks me because it's always women and couples who say this. Most have no idea what it's like as a single man on fab.
As a man it's more like a lottery. The odds aren't in your favour on here "
why not just have a crap profile, and constantly moan about not getting meets then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Your profile is not great. No bio and photo isn’t great. You get out what you put in on this site
This really irks me because it's always women and couples who say this. Most have no idea what it's like as a single man on fab.
As a man it's more like a lottery. The odds aren't in your favour on here
why not just have a crap profile, and constantly moan about not getting meets then"
I was referring to "you get out what you put in".
Yes a good profile is a must, doesn't mean you'll get anything out of it though. Just because someone has little success doesn't mean they haven't made the effort. There are other factors at play. |
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"Your profile is not great. No bio and photo isn’t great. You get out what you put in on this site
This really irks me because it's always women and couples who say this. Most have no idea what it's like as a single man on fab.
As a man it's more like a lottery. The odds aren't in your favour on here
And to a woman your reply irks us as you have no idea how many times we hear that poor excuse x
Let's be honest, most women do not put effort into their profiles but have success. I'll be the first to admit my profile is pretty bad yet I recieve dozens of messages a day.
I think most men have good profiles yet never meet anyone. The fact is most on fab are seeking women and couples. Men are just lucky if they even just get a message.
Fab is bad for men unless they fulfil a fetish such as BBC, bull, etc or if they provide free "stuff"."
Most wemon DO put effort in but get fed up of men not reading they end up deleting it like i did lol x  |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Your profile is not great. No bio and photo isn’t great. You get out what you put in on this site
This really irks me because it's always women and couples who say this. Most have no idea what it's like as a single man on fab.
As a man it's more like a lottery. The odds aren't in your favour on here "
But it's true pal a person never succeeded without making an effort and understanding what works and what doesn't.but also realization that it doesn't work for everyone, which some think it should. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Your profile is not great. No bio and photo isn’t great. You get out what you put in on this site
This really irks me because it's always women and couples who say this. Most have no idea what it's like as a single man on fab.
As a man it's more like a lottery. The odds aren't in your favour on here
But it's true pal a person never succeeded without making an effort and understanding what works and what doesn't.but also realization that it doesn't work for everyone, which some think it should."
The men who put the effort in, talk to us like actual people, and who are decent (not aimed at anyone in particular), they do well. |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Your profile is not great. No bio and photo isn’t great. You get out what you put in on this site
This really irks me because it's always women and couples who say this. Most have no idea what it's like as a single man on fab.
As a man it's more like a lottery. The odds aren't in your favour on here
But it's true pal a person never succeeded without making an effort and understanding what works and what doesn't.but also realization that it doesn't work for everyone, which some think it should.
The men who put the effort in, talk to us like actual people, and who are decent (not aimed at anyone in particular), they do well. "
I totally agree with you many forget, how to treat people as human beings. |
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"Your profile is not great. No bio and photo isn’t great. You get out what you put in on this site
This really irks me because it's always women and couples who say this. Most have no idea what it's like as a single man on fab.
As a man it's more like a lottery. The odds aren't in your favour on here
why not just have a crap profile, and constantly moan about not getting meets then
I was referring to "you get out what you put in".
Yes a good profile is a must, doesn't mean you'll get anything out of it though. Just because someone has little success doesn't mean they haven't made the effort. There are other factors at play."
One factor is the sheer number of single guys on here who think that this site is instantshag.
A few weeks with no luck then they moan on the Forum. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Your profile is not great. No bio and photo isn’t great. You get out what you put in on this site
This really irks me because it's always women and couples who say this. Most have no idea what it's like as a single man on fab.
As a man it's more like a lottery. The odds aren't in your favour on here
And to a woman your reply irks us as you have no idea how many times we hear that poor excuse x
Let's be honest, most women do not put effort into their profiles but have success. I'll be the first to admit my profile is pretty bad yet I recieve dozens of messages a day.
I think most men have good profiles yet never meet anyone. The fact is most on fab are seeking women and couples. Men are just lucky if they even just get a message.
Fab is bad for men unless they fulfil a fetish such as BBC, bull, etc or if they provide free "stuff"."
So true! 
If we're being honest. Being an average bloke on here is basically a massive waste of time. I like reading the forum, but that's about it.
OP hasn't a chance in hell and will end up deleting it once he realises. |
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Your verified by meet 2 months ago, which meant you joined during a pandemic and have already met someone.
Lots are only starting to be out and about meeting now so I’m not sure what your expecting.
I know so many single guys that do very well on here. Get out to the clubs, get known and make an effort  . |
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By *rad670Man
over a year ago
South Lakes |
I've been on almost a year and only just recently started to get decent chats going with people and a couple of meets but that's only after people getting to know you through forum posts, detailed and reasonably written profile and of course dozens and dozens of false starts, abrupt messages and people who seem to enjoy wasting your time. You have to work at it, be pleasant and be very patient. You would have to have something very special to just join and have an inbox full of offers within a month or two. |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"Your profile is not great. No bio and photo isn’t great. You get out what you put in on this site
This really irks me because it's always women and couples who say this. Most have no idea what it's like as a single man on fab.
As a man it's more like a lottery. The odds aren't in your favour on here
And to a woman your reply irks us as you have no idea how many times we hear that poor excuse x "
|
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"Your profile is not great. No bio and photo isn’t great. You get out what you put in on this site
This really irks me because it's always women and couples who say this. Most have no idea what it's like as a single man on fab.
As a man it's more like a lottery. The odds aren't in your favour on here
And to a woman your reply irks us as you have no idea how many times we hear that poor excuse x
Let's be honest, most women do not put effort into their profiles but have success. I'll be the first to admit my profile is pretty bad yet I recieve dozens of messages a day.
I think most men have good profiles yet never meet anyone. The fact is most on fab are seeking women and couples. Men are just lucky if they even just get a message.
Fab is bad for men unless they fulfil a fetish such as BBC, bull, etc or if they provide free "stuff".
So true!
If we're being honest. Being an average bloke on here is basically a massive waste of time. I like reading the forum, but that's about it.
OP hasn't a chance in hell and will end up deleting it once he realises. "
I know a fair few average blokes on fab, over 50, no six pack, they do great on here, women actually seek them out. All because they put in effort and know how to behave in a swinging community, it's more than a lottery, you can put the odds in your favour, just a lot can't be arsed to do the work that it takes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Oh, don't get me wrong. A lot of guys do the bare minimum and OPs profile isn't great. But does it really make that much difference? Unless you're referring to putting effort into actual meets at swinging clubs etc. Then I agree with you. |
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"Oh, don't get me wrong. A lot of guys do the bare minimum and OPs profile isn't great. But does it really make that much difference? Unless you're referring to putting effort into actual meets at swinging clubs etc. Then I agree with you. "
To a lot of wemon on here yes making an effort on your profile does make a difference most are like me they read the profile first before the message and if no effort is put into it makes us wonder how much effort would they give us ... so it's instant delete.
 |
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"Stop following the crowd with dick pics.....
Follow the others who have better quality and subject photographs.
Those are the profiles you need to look through - plus their verifications, on why they are popular...
Once you've cracked that - at least you'll stand a chance of a reply.
Oh and guys who are reading!!!
Minimise the age restrictions...
I mean really - 18-99
You'd fuck those age groups?
Tells me, it's a type of unpleasant perversion that shouldn't be on here.......
That assumption is appalling. It's not a perversion to engage with older people in some way . It is unlikely that anyone is on the site at 90 years old but leaving the age range unchanged from the default is not indicative of anything other than one is happy to chat to people of any age.
If it's unlikely they why put it. To me, it looks desperate at least and what I mentioned above at worse..
Why 'edge your bets' to look desperate ... Be realistic, like you would be in the real world. "
Reframe the experience…
There are lots of was of looking at the unadjusted age range. One is to specifically narrow down the people you wish to engage with. Another is they are open to all… On the basis of age alone Brad Pitt is out of a lot ladies interested in range, but many probably still would. So excluded purely on age alone? For others they never bothered to change it.
Everything is open to interpretation and we all use fab differently. It helps if you don’t assume your own choices are or should be made on the same basis by others. |
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You've met one person which with the current climate and many not still meeting is fantastic by fab standards
Add some visible photos, the don't have to be nude or face pics just something to give people an idea of who you are
Add more to your bio, what do you have to offer that the other thousands of guys on here don't, saying your a newbie is kind of like saying your a virgin, people want a good night not to hold someone's hand
Your page is your shop window & at the moment it's doing a poor job of selling you but that can be easily rectified with a bit of thought & time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Your profile is not great. No bio and photo isn’t great. You get out what you put in on this site
This really irks me because it's always women and couples who say this. Most have no idea what it's like as a single man on fab.
As a man it's more like a lottery. The odds aren't in your favour on here
And to a woman your reply irks us as you have no idea how many times we hear that poor excuse x
Let's be honest, most women do not put effort into their profiles but have success. I'll be the first to admit my profile is pretty bad yet I recieve dozens of messages a day.
I think most men have good profiles yet never meet anyone. The fact is most on fab are seeking women and couples. Men are just lucky if they even just get a message.
Fab is bad for men unless they fulfil a fetish such as BBC, bull, etc or if they provide free "stuff".
So true!
If we're being honest. Being an average bloke on here is basically a massive waste of time. I like reading the forum, but that's about it.
OP hasn't a chance in hell and will end up deleting it once he realises.
I know a fair few average blokes on fab, over 50, no six pack, they do great on here, women actually seek them out. All because they put in effort and know how to behave in a swinging community, it's more than a lottery, you can put the odds in your favour, just a lot can't be arsed to do the work that it takes."
Totally agree with you Pablo xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Isn't it rather strange how it's only women and couples that say success is determined by effort? Apparently they know more about the male fab experience than men!
As someone who has dated a man from fab I think I know what it's like _ased on what he has told me.
I only met him after speaking in the chatrooms! Otherwise I would have missed his message in the 100s of terrible messages I get every week. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Success in life is about effort...
No matter what it is....
Don't think it makes any difference about the sexes and who has the better experience on here.
It's all about your own expectations and what you desire.
I do think it's tough for all at the moment though. |
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Just repeating what I mentioned on a similar thread:
The odds on this site are as harder as winning the lottery Too many single men per couple/single females. Go to socials, clubs, get to know people and understand what couples are looking for. I dare to say I am one of the single guys who does fine here but those days I use the site only to be in touch with people I met on socials, private parties or clubs. I almost forgot patience, patience and patience... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In short, it's not about luck, it's about effort.
Your profile is your CV, use it wisely.
Look at the profiles that catch your eye, does your profile measure up?
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