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Social chat awkwardness
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Hey, so when going to a club do you like the social aspect or like me dread it! Do you think that the older crowd enjoy the social side and younger ones just want a fuck?
I'm a really sociable person generally and I work in customer service so I'm no stranger to a good chat...but...I just find in the clubs especially before the drinks start flowing people want to come and sit down and start small talk about where we live, what jobs do we do, do we have kids etc etc and I almost think look I'm here for a bit of filth not a date haha!
I don't need to know you're a plumber / accountant and moved to Essex 4 years ago. And then you have that awkward are you interested..do we play or not convo.
I know people say just act like it's a normal nightclub but this does not happen there..people are on the dancefloor all night, up at the bar having a bit of a flirt and then action  unfortunately you then have to leave the club unless you want a ban so that's where swinger clubs win it for me but still..cut the small talk haha xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like the small talk at the club i go to, the regulars there are friends and we enjoy chatting aswell as playing.
I wasn't as keen on small talk at Chams though as i didn't know anyone and, although i liked it there, chatting just didn't happen. |
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By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
I like the social side, but not the small-talk. As you say, it is not very interesting that Fred and Wilma live somewhere unremarkable, work at unremarkable jobs, and have an unremarkable number of children. (On the other hand, if they really are called Fred and Wilma, there's bound to be a story about that, and I want to hear it.)
To find a worthwhile subject of conversation with a stranger, it's necessary to fish around a bit to see what bites for both of you. That's my theory. It's hard, and a lot of people aren't very good at it (I don't think I am).
But I have been involved in some great conversations at the club. I don't know how they happen, but they do. The club I go to was running socials for some of the time that they couldn't open properly. No play, but they were still good nights, purely from the social aspect. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey, so when going to a club do you like the social aspect or like me dread it! Do you think that the older crowd enjoy the social side and younger ones just want a fuck?
I'm a really sociable person generally and I work in customer service so I'm no stranger to a good chat...but...I just find in the clubs especially before the drinks start flowing people want to come and sit down and start small talk about where we live, what jobs do we do, do we have kids etc etc and I almost think look I'm here for a bit of filth not a date haha!
I don't need to know you're a plumber / accountant and moved to Essex 4 years ago. And then you have that awkward are you interested..do we play or not convo.
I know people say just act like it's a normal nightclub but this does not happen there..people are on the dancefloor all night, up at the bar having a bit of a flirt and then action unfortunately you then have to leave the club unless you want a ban so that's where swinger clubs win it for me but still..cut the small talk haha xx"
Yeah I'm not really into talking about myself - or people knowing my business away from swinging. I've chatted to couples about playing moments, what floats their boat and exchanged notes on other venues....
Enjoy your voyeur moments whilst play is ongoing, then see if you can join in when the mood takes you  |
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I'm glad it's not just me! I definitely find that my most memorable experiences have been when we are already playing somewhere and someone comes over and asks to join. I find my most natural random chats are usually when I'm a bit d*unk and in the hot tub at the end of the night x |
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Isn't the freedom to do what your like the beauty of clubs? We're quite social and do a lot of socialising in clubs. But on the other hand we've also had great experiences with strangers we've come across in the throws of the action or who English wasn't their best language but the language of sex was something we could all understood. For us every night is different. But yes we do love the social aspect and getting to know people as well.
Oh and to be fair we've found is quite often the older swingers who dont want to mess around and just want to go and fuck. |
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"I like the social side, but not the small-talk. As you say, it is not very interesting that Fred and Wilma live somewhere unremarkable, work at unremarkable jobs, and have an unremarkable number of children. (On the other hand, if they really are called Fred and Wilma, there's bound to be a story about that, and I want to hear it.)
To find a worthwhile subject of conversation with a stranger, it's necessary to fish around a bit to see what bites for both of you. That's my theory. It's hard, and a lot of people aren't very good at it (I don't think I am).
But I have been involved in some great conversations at the club. I don't know how they happen, but they do. The club I go to was running socials for some of the time that they couldn't open properly. No play, but they were still good nights, purely from the social aspect."
Yes we've met people like this. But we've also met some fascinating people on the scene who are often just as dark, daft and twisted as us. Those we can laugh with till it hurts are always a pleasure to find. Maybe we're not very good swingers but we have some great times in the clubs. |
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I find if I talk to people at clubs you find out more about that person and their preferences. Plus great to meet new people but I have found younger men prefer to get straight into things instead of getting to know the person they are talking to |
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I am here for this!!!! Haha
Everyone thinks I’m crazy for not doing socials and not caring for small talk both on fab and clubs lol!!
I don’t want socials- I have friends to go to the pub with lol
Clubs- I go with the expectation of playing because that’s what I want... if I didn’t, and wanted the small talk I’d go to a nightclub!
I love club nights, and have a great group of friends that go and don’t mind socialising with them because they are genuine friends... but I don’t attend for the social aspect at all xx |
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"I find if I talk to people at clubs you find out more about that person and their preferences. Plus great to meet new people but I have found younger men prefer to get straight into things instead of getting to know the person they are talking to "
This is probably why I prefer younger men  |
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"I am here for this!!!! Haha
Everyone thinks I’m crazy for not doing socials and not caring for small talk both on fab and clubs lol!!
I don’t want socials- I have friends to go to the pub with lol
Clubs- I go with the expectation of playing because that’s what I want... if I didn’t, and wanted the small talk I’d go to a nightclub!
I love club nights, and have a great group of friends that go and don’t mind socialising with them because they are genuine friends... but I don’t attend for the social aspect at all xx"
This is exactly it..you worded it better than me lol!
I have a husband and bestie rolled in to one so I'll have romantic little date nights with him and I have a really close group of girlfriends so socialising is always done with them.
I almost put swinging and my sex life in to it's own box away from everyday life, love and friendships and don't like to mix it up xx |
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By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
On further reflection, I think it's fortunate that I enjoy the social side, as I'm a single man who is unlikely to be beckoned over to join in based on looks alone. That (the beckoning) has happened sometimes, but only with people that I've previously talked with (and presumably left a good impression).
There's no right way and wrong way. Different people looking for different things will find different ways to go about it. A good club will accommodate them all. |
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"I’m sorry. It’s a yes here to small talk. In fact for me it’s vital. "
I think if I was playing as a single woman then yes because that's what I would do in a regular club but I just hate the awkwardness of 2 couples sitting together and firing questions across like they are in a job interview lol |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"I’m sorry. It’s a yes here to small talk. In fact for me it’s vital.
I think if I was playing as a single woman then yes because that's what I would do in a regular club but I just hate the awkwardness of 2 couples sitting together and firing questions across like they are in a job interview lol"
I find socials just as awkward as club meets despite knowing at least a little about them in advance. There's always loud questioning in packed out bars like, 'do you know I have my clit pierced? Why are you on fab, that or random knickerless flashes. I've avoided clubs and socials solely because there's dirty chat in one, but none in the place you'd expect it. |
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By *DW1983Man
over a year ago
Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield |
As a single guy I think the social aspect is important, but I do find it hard. I'm not particularly good at starting small talk, I don't find it easy to go up to a random person and start a conversation. But I'd rather talk to people or be talked to than spend the night sat by myself looking like the loner in toe corner.
I don't have a problem with chatting and being socialble with other single guys, and I think so long as you're not 'hunting in packs' it's just another way to avoid looking like that sad lonely guy who just sits by himself all night.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Isn't the freedom to do what your like the beauty of clubs? We're quite social and do a lot of socialising in clubs. But on the other hand we've also had great experiences with strangers we've come across in the throws of the action or who English wasn't their best language but the language of sex was something we could all understood. For us every night is different. But yes we do love the social aspect and getting to know people as well.
Oh and to be fair we've found is quite often the older swingers who dont want to mess around and just want to go and fuck."
My experience is the opposite  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m sorry. It’s a yes here to small talk. In fact for me it’s vital.
I think if I was playing as a single woman then yes because that's what I would do in a regular club but I just hate the awkwardness of 2 couples sitting together and firing questions across like they are in a job interview lol"
Exactly this! A bit of banter is fine, but we don't want to know the life story, house, jobs etc. We find that takes some of the filth out of it, it becomes more civilised and less primal. We like the dirty, fucking side of swinging, doesn't mean we want to fuck any random in an alley, just that we don't need to be best friend with people before we fuck. If we get on afterwards, grand! |
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