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Being forward
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I feel like I’m overthinking but if a girl was quite forward and coming on to you would you find that off putting? I feel like I’m putting people off by being too flirty or too forward and making them unsettled or nervous.
Would I stand a better chance of settling people in better if I didn’t try anything on with them and let them take the lead instead? It’s not in my nature but I don’t know ... lately i just feel like maybe I’m appearing too confident and maybe that’s making people more nervous around me ... I realise I’m talking to myself but it’s so disheartening when people tell you they are scared to do anything with you.
I know you can’t change your character but if anyone has any hints or tips of how to behave around people who are more nervous than you are that would be great  and how you made them feel at ease xx |
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If a girl was forward and coming on to me I would love it !
Several vary naughty fantasies around this idea.
Seriously though you have to be yourself and people with either like it or not; if they like - happy days if not they are probably not for you anyway.
just enjoy xxx |
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There's a difference between confidence & loud & in someone's face, im fine with the first but avoid the latter at all costs
I think with anything in life you shouldn't change your personality, just try and read the room, if the other persons shy they are likely to want a gentler approach |
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"
There's a difference between confidence & loud & in someone's face, im fine with the first but avoid the latter at all costs
I think with anything in life you shouldn't change your personality, just try and read the room, if the other persons shy they are likely to want a gentler approach "
I feel like I need to video myself to see how I come across haha .... I don’t think I’m loud but then who knows what others think.... and if I say nothing people think I’m in a huff or somethings wrong ... so I can’t win. I don’t know ... you are probably right ... maybe I just need to sit back and gauge who I’m talking to better first .... before pouncing hahaha |
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"If a girl was forward and coming on to me I would love it !
Several vary naughty fantasies around this idea.
Seriously though you have to be yourself and people with either like it or not; if they like - happy days if not they are probably not for you anyway.
just enjoy xxx "
Thanks dude ... u sound right up my street haha I’m hoping I don’t have to change who I am to fit in.... hubs says I’m just an overthinking needy bugger who wants everything haha  thanks for your response it really does make me feel better |
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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago
Beyond the shadows. |
I'm one of those shy shrinking violet type's most of the time I don't register when someone's being flirty with me, I just assume they are being friendly. So don't worry about it , you probably are over thinking it. |
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"I always thought men liked confident women 
"
I’m finding more and more nervous people and I’m starting to think it’s me... I could understand if they were new to all this then I wouldn’t take it to heart as much haha x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I feel like I’m overthinking but if a girl was quite forward and coming on to you would you find that off putting? I feel like I’m putting people off by being too flirty or too forward and making them unsettled or nervous.
Would I stand a better chance of settling people in better if I didn’t try anything on with them and let them take the lead instead? It’s not in my nature but I don’t know ... lately i just feel like maybe I’m appearing too confident and maybe that’s making people more nervous around me ... I realise I’m talking to myself but it’s so disheartening when people tell you they are scared to do anything with you.
I know you can’t change your character but if anyone has any hints or tips of how to behave around people who are more nervous than you are that would be great and how you made them feel at ease xx"
If your loud and proud i call it confident I don’t see the problem with it. It might be you threaten them with your presence, I don’t see how though may be just try to soften it down? If all else fails try someone else lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always thought men liked confident women
I’m finding more and more nervous people and I’m starting to think it’s me... I could understand if they were new to all this then I wouldn’t take it to heart as much haha x"
I do |
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"I feel like I’m overthinking but if a girl was quite forward and coming on to you would you find that off putting? I feel like I’m putting people off by being too flirty or too forward and making them unsettled or nervous.
Would I stand a better chance of settling people in better if I didn’t try anything on with them and let them take the lead instead? It’s not in my nature but I don’t know ... lately i just feel like maybe I’m appearing too confident and maybe that’s making people more nervous around me ... I realise I’m talking to myself but it’s so disheartening when people tell you they are scared to do anything with you.
I know you can’t change your character but if anyone has any hints or tips of how to behave around people who are more nervous than you are that would be great and how you made them feel at ease xx"
I play with a lady who's very forward and I love it. In fact, I wish more women had her confidence.
I think maybe some guys are a bit intimidated when a woman takes the lead, but for me it's a real turn on. I suppose it just depends on the people you're playing with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You have lots of sexy spirit and you should not be afraid of putting yourself forward as you really are
If you cannot be yourself in a swingers club or private swingers party, then we may as well go home and read a newspaper!
If your target likes all that you are, great.. if not.. that's a good sign early on to walk away.
You might find it helpful to let your conversation partners speak first and get curious about them, before revealing your true self
From what I see, you would be a beautiful, witty and delightful if I had the honour to meet you.
Stay amazing
X |
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I’m quite confident in that I know what I like and don’t mind going to get it or ask for it!
I’d never be brash, rude or unfriendly but for me, cocky confidence is the biggest turn on.
The most confident guy in the club is absolutely my type but I know those types of characters don’t appeal to everyone.
You do you and if they don’t like it they can keep looking  xx |
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"I feel like I’m overthinking but if a girl was quite forward and coming on to you would you find that off putting? I feel like I’m putting people off by being too flirty or too forward and making them unsettled or nervous.
Would I stand a better chance of settling people in better if I didn’t try anything on with them and let them take the lead instead? It’s not in my nature but I don’t know ... lately i just feel like maybe I’m appearing too confident and maybe that’s making people more nervous around me ... I realise I’m talking to myself but it’s so disheartening when people tell you they are scared to do anything with you.
I know you can’t change your character but if anyone has any hints or tips of how to behave around people who are more nervous than you are that would be great and how you made them feel at ease xx"
In a swingers club, this can only be seen as a good thing by the majority who attend. As long as you’re strong enough to be able to take any rejection and not allow it to hurt your pride too much.
I think women or men that have that confidence are a rare commodity in this country I see it more abroad than in the UK. So you should be encouraged rather than castigated for that attitude, as for me it’s a positive trait.
So carry on as you are as I think you’ll get more positive results than negative  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Always be yourself. If that puts some guys off then they obviously weren't for you x"
Completely agree with this comment. If you'll try to pretend to be who you aren't - neither of you will enjoy it. |
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"If a girl was forward on here I’d be in shock more than anything. I wouldn’t not like it though."
Is a girl being on a swinging site and open about their sexuality not quite forward compared to the “normal” anyway?
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"You have lots of sexy spirit and you should not be afraid of putting yourself forward as you really are
If you cannot be yourself in a swingers club or private swingers party, then we may as well go home and read a newspaper!
If your target likes all that you are, great.. if not.. that's a good sign early on to walk away.
You might find it helpful to let your conversation partners speak first and get curious about them, before revealing your true self
From what I see, you would be a beautiful, witty and delightful if I had the honour to meet you.
Stay amazing
X"
Aw man that’s like the nicest message ever .... so so kind .... I’m my own worst enemy I pick myself apart and worry what people think too much. This has made me more confident about just keep being me and whoever likes me likes me and whoever doesn’t well then maybe I’m just like marmite haha ...
Also you are right I’m going to give others a chance first too... I think I take after me mother and if there are silences I think I need to talk to fill the gaps and then people get used to my mouth going haha ... but maybe I should take a back seat more and see if others are engaging as like you say if they aren’t then maybe they aren’t for me either!
Thanks lovely xx |
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"I feel like I’m overthinking but if a girl was quite forward and coming on to you would you find that off putting? I feel like I’m putting people off by being too flirty or too forward and making them unsettled or nervous.
Would I stand a better chance of settling people in better if I didn’t try anything on with them and let them take the lead instead? It’s not in my nature but I don’t know ... lately i just feel like maybe I’m appearing too confident and maybe that’s making people more nervous around me ... I realise I’m talking to myself but it’s so disheartening when people tell you they are scared to do anything with you.
I know you can’t change your character but if anyone has any hints or tips of how to behave around people who are more nervous than you are that would be great and how you made them feel at ease xx
In a swingers club, this can only be seen as a good thing by the majority who attend. As long as you’re strong enough to be able to take any rejection and not allow it to hurt your pride too much.
I think women or men that have that confidence are a rare commodity in this country I see it more abroad than in the UK. So you should be encouraged rather than castigated for that attitude, as for me it’s a positive trait.
So carry on as you are as I think you’ll get more positive results than negative "
Thank you for the kind words .... I’m hoping to get more positive responses than negative I think just with two recent blows it’s knocked my confidence but these messages have made me think it’s not me and I’ve just had bad luck lately .... x |
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"I’m quite confident in that I know what I like and don’t mind going to get it or ask for it!
I’d never be brash, rude or unfriendly but for me, cocky confidence is the biggest turn on.
The most confident guy in the club is absolutely my type but I know those types of characters don’t appeal to everyone.
You do you and if they don’t like it they can keep looking xx"
Thanks ... you are right you can’t please everyone .... I’ll keep just being myself as I can’t put an act on I was just wondering what people’s take on being forward was but it sounds like I should continue on being like that and maybe I’ve just had a streak of bad luck ...  |
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advice just be who you are. when we at the club we sit back take everything in have a laugh had newbies plonked beside us cause the mrs will talk to anyone, my biggest turn on is dress down walking about the rooms and love it when the mrs goes to ask someone out the blue if they fancy fun, we were away down sheffield social once and had hotel when sat at a table she said to 2 men "howay back to our hotel il take you both on" i was gobsamcked since then love watching her come out her shell, again just be yourself . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I feel like I’m overthinking but if a girl was quite forward and coming on to you would you find that off putting? I feel like I’m putting people off by being too flirty or too forward and making them unsettled or nervous.
Would I stand a better chance of settling people in better if I didn’t try anything on with them and let them take the lead instead? It’s not in my nature but I don’t know ... lately i just feel like maybe I’m appearing too confident and maybe that’s making people more nervous around me ... I realise I’m talking to myself but it’s so disheartening when people tell you they are scared to do anything with you.
I know you can’t change your character but if anyone has any hints or tips of how to behave around people who are more nervous than you are that would be great and how you made them feel at ease xx"
Please don't stop being you, we need more ladies to take the lead rather than less.
Some men would not wish to assume or offend, so ladies taking the lead are most welcome. |
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By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
It's going to depend on the person. We all respond differently. In my case, I am totally blind to signals and flirting, and anything short of dragging me to a room and tearing my clothes off is likely to be missed. It's impossible to be too unsubtle.
You definitely have a presence - there's no ignoring you. But it's the good version. You don't need to turn anything down; you're just a fun person to be around. |
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By *sexyHCouple
over a year ago
Leicester |
"If a girl was forward and coming on to me I would love it !
Several vary naughty fantasies around this idea.
Seriously though you have to be yourself and people with either like it or not; if they like - happy days if not they are probably not for you anyway.
just enjoy xxx "
You are right. My Mrs is always texting and arranging her meets with her FB and then coming home to tell me after she's met him. Of course I know when she's going going and where |
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"I feel like I’m overthinking but if a girl was quite forward and coming on to you would you find that off putting? I feel like I’m putting people off by being too flirty or too forward and making them unsettled or nervous.
Would I stand a better chance of settling people in better if I didn’t try anything on with them and let them take the lead instead? It’s not in my nature but I don’t know ... lately i just feel like maybe I’m appearing too confident and maybe that’s making people more nervous around me ... I realise I’m talking to myself but it’s so disheartening when people tell you they are scared to do anything with you.
I know you can’t change your character but if anyone has any hints or tips of how to behave around people who are more nervous than you are that would be great and how you made them feel at ease xx"
In our experience any really forward females on fab are fake, women don't need to approach and do the chasing.
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Thanks for all the lovely messages. I think the main message from this thread that I’ve taken from it is to just continue on being myself and if people don’t like it well I can’t change my dirty manly male hormone mindset hahaha ....
The positive thing I’m reading is that people like the forward women ... so that’s good... and when I’m talking about being forward by the way I don’t mean on here ... I mean in person... 
I was obvs just feeling emotional when I wrote this thread haha such a needy fecker |
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"If a female is the one to start the dirty talk the chances are it’s a bloke…
Apparently.  "
Def a bloke .... I’m a def a bloke in my mind .... I’ve actually just booked myself in for my first back sack and crack |
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"If a female is the one to start the dirty talk the chances are it’s a bloke…
Apparently.
Def a bloke .... I’m a def a bloke in my mind .... I’ve actually just booked myself in for my first back sack and crack "
You may be a bloke in your mind, but your body is female, so keep your mind to yourself and give me your body to play with ..... |
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"Always be yourself. If that puts some guys off then they obviously weren't for you x"
Agree totally. If they don’t like it then tough. You couldn’t be too forward in my view. You also look incredible by the way. |
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I think a confident woman does scare the bejesus (despite what they say,) out of some people, but that's their problem not yours. Just be you and if they can't handle it then you just aren't a good match. |
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"Always be yourself. If that puts some guys off then they obviously weren't for you x
Agree totally. If they don’t like it then tough. You couldn’t be too forward in my view. You also look incredible by the way."
Thank you ... that’s very kind. It’s funny you can be confident in one way... but Unconfident in another .... I suppose that’s just human nature I’ve already scared someone else off hahahahaha |
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"I think a confident woman does scare the bejesus (despite what they say,) out of some people, but that's their problem not yours. Just be you and if they can't handle it then you just aren't a good match."
True very true .... it’s not getting me anywhere though hahaha xx |
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