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Getting a meet
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I know its so hard work as there more men than women on here but what balls it all up is the ones that's rude to women or waste of space ones but then a lot of women are rude and abuse aswell to men as I know iv had a few like it |
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I've not had one yet myself, I think it don't help that many here are too dishonest.
I personally am up front with what I want so that may be a put off to some here I suppose.
But I simply see no point in lying. |
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
One of our meets took a year...we didn't chat all the time (we're rubbish at online chat) but we kept in touch and when we had the opportunity, we got in touch. Have patience...lots of women and couples only have a certain number of "play dates" available and far, far more guys message them than they possibly accommodate. |
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Its just really difficult to get a meet as a single guy on here. I've managed to get a couple of meets but have spent a lot of time tweaking my profile, writing unique intro messages etc.
Unfortunately the more effort you put in the harder it is to take the endless rejections! I can understand why some guys just copy and paste the same message to every single woman - low effort and easier to just not care about the non responses.  |
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I get messages from guys (and I'm looking for ladies and couples) saying "how's yous" or "you ok"?
Honestly, if that's the standard of most guys opening lines then it's no surprise they don't get any/many meets.
I've had a few meets through here over the years, but it takes time and effort to win trust. And so it should! People are inviting you to spend time with then in a very personal way.
I think as single guys we just have to accept that we won't get many meets and t treasure the ones we do have!
Mark |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Get yourself to the socials. Mingle and chat. Tbh for me it’s all about sex as I’m not looking to make lots of Male friends but a lot of guys have more success once they have been seen at the social events. Prior to the virus we were regulars at the Chester social events which hopefully will be restarting soon xx. |
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"I get messages from guys (and I'm looking for ladies and couples) saying "how's yous" or "you ok"?
Honestly, if that's the standard of most guys opening lines then it's no surprise they don't get any/many meets.
I've had a few meets through here over the years, but it takes time and effort to win trust. And so it should! People are inviting you to spend time with then in a very personal way.
I think as single guys we just have to accept that we won't get many meets and t treasure the ones we do have!
Mark"
You can stop them messaging you.
And yes that’s true about the quality of most messages.
Contrary to popular belief, it’s actually easy for a single man to stand out  |
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"Get yourself to the socials. Mingle and chat. Tbh for me it’s all about sex as I’m not looking to make lots of Male friends but a lot of guys have more success once they have been seen at the social events. Prior to the virus we were regulars at the Chester social events which hopefully will be restarting soon xx. "
This is true  |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"I get messages from guys (and I'm looking for ladies and couples) saying "how's yous" or "you ok"?
Honestly, if that's the standard of most guys opening lines then it's no surprise they don't get any/many meets.
I've had a few meets through here over the years, but it takes time and effort to win trust. And so it should! People are inviting you to spend time with then in a very personal way.
I think as single guys we just have to accept that we won't get many meets and t treasure the ones we do have!
Mark"
I think the last part it's down to the individual guy how much effort he puts in to connect with women, ladies in conversation and from this finds chemistry and biology  |
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So essentially what I'm reading here is that it is pointless being a male here.
Short messages, medium, long doesn't seem to make a difference.
This was my first silver membership and is likely to be my last unless something changes fairly quickly for me.
I'd say 99pc of messages are deleted without any reply at all.
It just gets boring after a while, and it is a long while I'm very patient.
Has anyone tried swinger heaven, or adult friend finder with any different results? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So essentially what I'm reading here is that it is pointless being a male here.
Short messages, medium, long doesn't seem to make a difference.
This was my first silver membership and is likely to be my last unless something changes fairly quickly for me.
I'd say 99pc of messages are deleted without any reply at all.
It just gets boring after a while, and it is a long while I'm very patient.
Has anyone tried swinger heaven, or adult friend finder with any different results?"
This place has always been a graft  , i try not to take it too serious so i have no expectations. |
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"Whats the longest that someone has gone without a meet on here "
Ummmm met one randomly in local pub but wasn’t planned and wasn’t going any further as he was a man
2nd is a man who reach out to help us but in a professional way (nothing sexual)
So we have not met anyone from here that’s was planned to what we’re looking for since joining x |
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
"So essentially what I'm reading here is that it is pointless being a male here."
All we can say is that there ARE people meeting on here. We meet single guys from here - they need to be physically attractive to Char, they need to be able to write a first message that shows they've read our profile, and they need to be patient.
Keep trying, be selective on who you approach and be a decent bloke. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So essentially what I'm reading here is that it is pointless being a male here.
Short messages, medium, long doesn't seem to make a difference.
This was my first silver membership and is likely to be my last unless something changes fairly quickly for me.
I'd say 99pc of messages are deleted without any reply at all.
It just gets boring after a while, and it is a long while I'm very patient.
Has anyone tried swinger heaven, or adult friend finder with any different results?"
Longest is 4 mths - it’s not a certain just because you’re female either.
It’s not pointless as SM either. Sometimes it’s profiles, sometimes the message and sometimes it’s attraction - lots of reasons why but it’s not a hooker site which comes across in many messages, statuses and attitudes.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never rely on messaging people for a meet.
Attend social events and clubs. People prefer to see what they are getting rather than someone on a keyboard.
Also you wouldn't believe how many after chat or play, don't realise that you are out of their age range or preferences on their profile once you meet them in person at an event or club. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We’ve had probably 20 or so of the “what you doing now” type messages from utter dipshits today. Some of them not even that eloquent. It’s really not hard to be a decent bloke and then it’s just a case of the right message at the right time because tbh, we don’t want to be spending time every day talking to lots of different people. It’s exhausting. There’s just too many that think this is a free hooker site. |
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Hard as a single male but even harder as a single woman. I think it’s a trust and security issue and quite rightly so. For couples even though there is a man present there is always the chance it could go horribly wrong. Convincing your partner or wife to swing is a big thing, if it goes wrong it could end a relationship.
I have fallen into the trap of expecting too much which is easily done.Listen to the voice of the ladies and couples.
Now they are open again try clubs. Chameleons at Darlaston is brilliant, it’s clean and quite a lot of people go so there’s always some fun happening. The rooms are clean and reasonably priced to stay over, midweek is best to start off with. Don’t prowl or go on a sponsored walk with a hard on….seen blokes doing that and it puts people off. Chat and get to know people that could lead to verifications, good ones are priceless. As long as you go without expectations. Ask if you can attend as a guest to get a feel for it and just chill in there. Even if you don’t have any fun you can watch and walk around with you ass hanging out of a towel for a few hours.
Best of luck
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its just really difficult to get a meet as a single guy on here. I've managed to get a couple of meets but have spent a lot of time tweaking my profile, writing unique intro messages etc.
Unfortunately the more effort you put in the harder it is to take the endless rejections! I can understand why some guys just copy and paste the same message to every single woman - low effort and easier to just not care about the non responses. "
It's a real shame for guys on here. Having to pick yourselves again, over & over.
Shouldn't be that hard! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve not met for four years.
But that’s been my choice "
and im sure have a pic of a woman as your profile pic helps, hope she knows, if not thats just wrong |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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alot of men, not all, but most hink just joining here is going to get them laid. thats not swinging, ive seen a huge increase sice lockdown, althoug there were always far to many single men on here. maybe the site should limit the numbers somehow, not sure how, hrd one.we do someyimes meet single guys, but not often, and on our terms, and weve found most to be lieing about thier status, so we pick and choose, well we have plenty to choose from.
if i was a ingle guy im not sure i would have a profile on here, after all swinging isnt really about singles |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well until earlier this month it had been it had been 21 months since I had met anyone.
We have been in a pandemic, I have many health problems that can make meeting difficult and I'm very fussy.
In all honesty I wish i hasnt met the person I had. There's a reason that even before Covid it had been several months since I'd met anyone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"alot of men, not all, but most hink just joining here is going to get them laid. thats not swinging, ive seen a huge increase sice lockdown, althoug there were always far to many single men on here. maybe the site should limit the numbers somehow, not sure how, hrd one.we do someyimes meet single guys, but not often, and on our terms, and weve found most to be lieing about thier status, so we pick and choose, well we have plenty to choose from.
if i was a ingle guy im not sure i would have a profile on here, after all swinging isnt really about singles"
There are far too many who send "meet now?" type messages without even sending a face and body photo and with a plain profile. They expect instant sex when they likely have nothing special to offer.
I don't agree that swinging is just for couples though. Everyone is entitled to swing, attend clubs and meet couples. Lots of couples look for single bi females. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"alot of men, not all, but most hink just joining here is going to get them laid. thats not swinging, ive seen a huge increase sice lockdown, althoug there were always far to many single men on here. maybe the site should limit the numbers somehow, not sure how, hrd one.we do someyimes meet single guys, but not often, and on our terms, and weve found most to be lieing about thier status, so we pick and choose, well we have plenty to choose from.
if i was a ingle guy im not sure i would have a profile on here, after all swinging isnt really about singles
There are far too many who send "meet now?" type messages without even sending a face and body photo and with a plain profile. They expect instant sex when they likely have nothing special to offer.
I don't agree that swinging is just for couples though. Everyone is entitled to swing, attend clubs and meet couples. Lots of couples look for single bi females."
we dont tend to look for sigle women, although we would love to meet one, weve had more let downs from single women than any other group, so now we dont tend to bother |
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We get messages for meets but they don't read profile or they pay more attention to one part of the couple which is off putting as we get off on both of us playing so we decline the offer as this is not what we're looking for we prefer clubs as we don't really get a feel for a couple texting them |
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Really the best way is clubs , allot of people post they are heading to a club!
For a single guy personality goes a long way , you have to out yourself out there , goto a club and chat .
I have always found it complete escapism and lots of emotions which I enjoy going and I very rarely play when going it’s just exciting. Walking round naked in front of others etc |
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By * Plus ECouple
over a year ago
The South |
I'm often surprised at how some single men are more successful than others.
It must be the effort they put into all aspects of Fab, their profiles, pictures, the messages they send, interactions on the forums, clubs.
M has more than 170 meets on his single male profile and whilst he hasn't been overly "active" during the last 18 months, under normal circumstances he's working his ass off to enjoy everything the swinging scene has to offer.
E |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You get out of it what you put in. So that includes how much thought has gone into your profile/pictures, what messages you send, going to clubs and socials etc |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"alot of men, not all, but most hink just joining here is going to get them laid. thats not swinging, ive seen a huge increase sice lockdown, althoug there were always far to many single men on here. maybe the site should limit the numbers somehow, not sure how, hrd one.we do someyimes meet single guys, but not often, and on our terms, and weve found most to be lieing about thier status, so we pick and choose, well we have plenty to choose from.
if i was a ingle guy im not sure i would have a profile on here, after all swinging isnt really about singles"
You could say the same for women, maybe some couples joining. There's been a huge increase in porny/modely profiles, when they only want people to subscribe to their off-site pages. They're not the least bit interested in swinging or even getting laid.
To say swinging isn't about singles is to exclude a pretty large group and put your wants above all others. |
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"I’ve been on here 4 weeks and haven’t had a meet yet!
I think this site is broken
Were also going through a pandemic or doesn't that bother you do you value your life or another's"
Maybe I should’ve included a lot more emojis to help you realise it was a joke!!!  |
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By *tew008Man
over a year ago
edinburgh |
"I think a lot of men see this site as a sex site rather than a swinging site. When someone writes a sensible well written note, lm likely to respond favourably...."
All the finely delivered eloquent communications doesn’t detract from my encroaching visage |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have been on and off here for ten years. I probably seen over 150 guys but I have had some absolutely ridiculous excuses for no shows once I have given my final message with my home address. I like short notice meets when I get horny but have planned meets weeks in advance only to be let down with 15 mins notice. The worst one was a guy who told me he forgot his car wasn’t taxed or insured with 2 hours notice. And I’d taken a day off work. |
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"We’ve had probably 20 or so of the “what you doing now” type messages from utter dipshits today. Some of them not even that eloquent. It’s really not hard to be a decent bloke and then it’s just a case of the right message at the right time because tbh, we don’t want to be spending time every day talking to lots of different people. It’s exhausting. There’s just too many that think this is a free hooker site."
Must of been one of the dipshits pmsl blocked |
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By *DW1983Man
over a year ago
Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield |
"I know its so hard work as there more men than women on here but what balls it all up is the ones that's rude to women or waste of space ones but then a lot of women are rude and abuse aswell to men as I know iv had a few like it "
I have met people at clubs who are on here, but never met anyone through here. I see the reasoning about some guys spoiling it for the rest, but in reality I'm not convinced. Yes the rude ones spoil it, and yes its tempting to think "I'm not rude, I'm genuine, I'd have turned up" every time I read a woman's status update about yet another timewaster. But actually, if I were her type, she'd have been messaging me not him in the first place. You could take away all the fakes and timewasters, cut the number of men by 50%, but I'd still not be her type no matter how 'genuine' I might be. |
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"I'm closing in on giving up here.
Can't get anywhere myself either."
Your profile reads as a guy looking for photography opportunities, not meets. You should have grasped by now that such profiles don’t find a wide audience here. Smartphones killed the market!
I (C) am an ex adult photographer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wasn't excepting anything as I knew we were in lockdown 3 months ago it's disheartening when shallow people stop replying to your messages in a middle of a conversation |
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We last met a new guy off Fab in March 2020.
As a single guy, you have to accept some hard truths ie unless you’re very good looking, massively well endowed or will f@@k anything, you won’t be getting many meets. You can accept that and give up, try Tinder, or carry on (as the only cost is to your time).
Increase your chances by enhancing your profile and messages. Helps if you can accommodate and travel, be available at short notice, have great pictures and never send cut and paste or “how are you” messages. These are just my observations.
You can also try clubs but you won’t necessarily fare any better there. |
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Last meet and social was last month, we are pretty active apart from the break we took last year for obvious reasons.
Lily
Ps our next play date is tonight but not happened yet so I guess that doesn’t count |
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