FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > one for the couples
one for the couples
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
My wife and i were very new, we've been to bsc twice, nite the wife has told me she's not that into this life style, that the fantasy was better than the reality, she also said she didn't mind me staying on fab, either in our couple profile or as a single male profile to chat to others. It was also mentioned she wouldn't be upset if i went out on my own with others My reply was that we are a couple, so if one is unhappy then both should stop. What point of views do others have? At the end i don't want to lose my wife, she is more important, but we are so fresh in the swinging scene, i was just starting to enjoy it.
Looking forward to your responses
Vid x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Just a personal response, I had similar feelings on and off, we decided to take a break and then came back to it fresh, done that a couple of times and have slowly pushed some boundaries now.
With regard to the fantasy better than reality, in some ways it stil is... but it has enhanced our own love making and added detail to our fantasies.
With regard to playing on your own with your wifes consent, personally it's not something either of us would have done, we're either doing it together or not at all.
Good luck with whatever you decide x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We had a bad experience and it did make us think should we go on. We decided that one bad meet could be put behind us, and have enjoyed some great times since that one experience. The fact that you both wanted to experience things is great, and maybe you should have a break and talk more about what really does turn you on. Some couples only like soft swap, some full swap, some like same room others prefer separate room play, there are so many variables. Perhaps you went in too deep too soon?
The one thing we know for sure is that we are either in this lifestyle together or we are not in it at all. We feel that if only one half of the couple is playing, then that could eventually lead to a relationship breakdown, for that reason we will not play with one half of a couple, whether they have partner's permission to play or not. To us the lifestyle adds to our amazing relationship, we would put that relationship before anything that swinging could give us.
Best wishes whatever choices you make xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Well i think the way forward is to suspend the account (didn't know you could do that) and us talk more about it. We have only done a bit if girl on girl / soft swap, so haven't gone to far to not come back, but I'm def sure that unless we split i will not play alone, that's not swinging. Thanks for your input ladies and gents. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Good luck indeed OP, our opinion has always been, if one isn't happy then we would stop.
We are relatively new to the scene, and wouldn't ever play alone, even with consent, I don't think any marriage is worth the fall out if one is not comfortable swinging.
Have a break and keep on talking to each other and who knows what the future will hold.
You can hide your profile, if you don't want to delete it.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
In your situation I would never play alone as others have said its an extension of both of your sex lives not the individual
I would however continue using this site not as a meeting tool but for discovering more about the lifestyle, peoples motivations towards it and different levels of playing and boundaries etc..
If nothing else this will give you subjects to discuss and maybe you'll find a level to start at which your both comfortable with |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The beauty and problem with swinging is the varity of things it encapsulates.
We both came to swinging with the idea of pushing our boundaries and living out some fantasys and much like yourselves had moments where we questioned if it was for "us" hell we even deleted once.
Women especially can find it hard if they arent super confident in themselves it is a difficult thing to find someone other than the person you "love" attractive and to want to do anything with them in a way its hardcoded into our brains that its wrong and cheating.
As for playing "alone" unless its indulging a fantasy then its a muddy murky area of swinging.
You're both young, give it some time ease into things try some different and better clubs and see how you feel, if its not for you then delete it its just a site and if it compromises your relationship in any way then its time for it go.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
@op
We swing together and can't ever visualise a time that we wouldn't be doing things together either. We've already said that when one of us has to stop due to age or ill health, we'll both stop.
I can understand why you'd feel uncomfortable playing on your own, and to be honest so would I. I just wouldn't do it, because we enjoy doing this so much together - and that's the fun in it for us.
Wolf |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We are a cpl and started swinging about a year ago and enjoying it very much but if either one of us no longer enjoyed it and wanted to stop we have both agreed we would both stop. We started this together and our marriage is a lot more important that this. Your wife might say she is happy for you to go alone but in my opinion (woman) she would be devestated. She has probably told you to do it alone as she thinks that what you want, us women can be strange like that sometimes x lol x. Hope you get it sorted and come to something you both agree on. Swinging is not worth risking your happy marriage for. Good luck!!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Sigh. Always good when your words get taken out of context...
Sx
What's up? "
I'm the Mrs to this couple, I think I was greatly misquoted. I don't think
swinging Is the be all and end all. Our experience didn't move my earth and I'm not bothered if it happens again or not. I suggested the single profile for chatting as V really enjoys that x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" Sigh. Always good when your words get taken out of context...
Sx
What's up?
I'm the Mrs to this couple, I think I was greatly misquoted. I don't think
swinging Is the be all and end all. Our experience didn't move my earth and I'm not bothered if it happens again or not. I suggested the single profile for chatting as V really enjoys that x"
Oh right I see, well you should do whatever you are comfortable with. And keep up the communication between you.
Good luck x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *bend69Couple
over a year ago
twinkletown |
"Just a personal response, I had similar feelings on and off, we decided to take a break and then came back to it fresh, done that a couple of times and have slowly pushed some boundaries now.
With regard to the fantasy better than reality, in some ways it stil is... but it has enhanced our own love making and added detail to our fantasies.
With regard to playing on your own with your wifes consent, personally it's not something either of us would have done, we're either doing it together or not at all.
Good luck with whatever you decide x"
We were same i had alot of mixed feelings and felt like the fantasy was better!! I also gave my hubby the option of goin alone ? But refused as we are a couple and play that way........We also took a 2 year break and came back stronger than ever and would never play alone! Good luck guys xx  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
We've had a minor set back that has put us off a little but for now we're going to enjoy the website and chatting and if the fancy takes us we will meet x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Glad you're being pragmatic about things. Above all, the communication between you is paramount and only with a little time will you understand where you are together and what you want.
Good luck x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Everything seems to have cleared up , as it says your off to a club this week!
Hoping I haven't misunderstood you.
Good luck
"
Not off to a club but thinking about it for next week |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Everything seems to have cleared up , as it says your off to a club this week!
Hoping I haven't misunderstood you.
Good luck
Not off to a club but thinking about it for next week "
Good lucky, take your time |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
