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Need for sexual novelty for women
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By *orl1971 OP Couple
over a year ago
Glasgow |
Reading an interesting factual book called ‘Untrue’ which makes the case that women seek sexual novelty and adventure. Rather than being the partner striving for a monogamous relationship it’s saying women really have to fight their instincts to stay faithful and lack of novelty is what lowers women’s libido.
Written by a woman and there’s a lot of research in it by women scientists. Gives an interesting take on why this lifestyle exists and questions monogamy and the traditions surrounding it. A bit like ‘Sex at Dawn’. Possibly makes you feel that we’re not strange for enjoying swinging 
Anyone read it? |
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By *orl1971 OP Couple
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"That destroys the myth women are pushed into this by their man  "
There’s a old saying that men get women into swinging but the women keep them there. Think there is a real old societal pressure that women should seek monogamy and one partner whereas men seek out the opportunity to sleep around. The book suggests biologically it’s the opposite for women. There are now quite a few books with similar findings from proper scientific research. |
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By *orl1971 OP Couple
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"I've read this and Sex at Dawn. Womens sexuality has been controlled for years. "
Yes it’s interesting that society has constrained women’s natural instincts through downright control or by shaming. ‘Slut shaming’ versus ‘bit of a lad’ attitudes toward women and men. |
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Doesn't this make sense from an evolutionary point of view? The male wants to see his sperm perpetuated, so it is in his interest to have a female available at all times in a monogamous relationship. Conversely, for the female, it doesn't matter who the father is. The more partners she has, the more diverse the offspring for natural selection. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That destroys the myth women are pushed into this by their man
There’s a old saying that men get women into swinging but the women keep them there. Think there is a real old societal pressure that women should seek monogamy and one partner whereas men seek out the opportunity to sleep around. The book suggests biologically it’s the opposite for women. There are now quite a few books with similar findings from proper scientific research. "
Yes we've seen this numerous time - the husband talks the wife into it, he wants his own little porn show starring his wife: then she enjoys it too much and he wants to quit. Some of the women put their foot down and carry on alone, with his knowledge, and some carry on behind his back. Be careful what you wish for gentlemen |
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By *orl1971 OP Couple
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"Doesn't this make sense from an evolutionary point of view? The male wants to see his sperm perpetuated, so it is in his interest to have a female available at all times in a monogamous relationship. Conversely, for the female, it doesn't matter who the father is. The more partners she has, the more diverse the offspring for natural selection."
Think it also makes sense that the male would want to spread his sperm as widely as possible to increase his chance of offspring and many men do. It’s always been popular opinion/societal view that women want one man to provide stability and ‘look after’ offspring.
The interesting thing is this is a society view that people in a relationship must be faithful and therefore many are serial monogamists and divorce is high. Sex outside the relationship is rarely accepted. Some cultures the woman has sex with multiple men so paternity cannot be proved and the woman has the advantage of multiple ‘fathers’ to tend for her kids. The fathers do not expect the women to only have sex with them which is so different from the relationship of possession in monogamous societies. It’s good to read something which challenges our traditional views with evidence provided. Makes you think. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Reading an interesting factual book called ‘Untrue’ which makes the case that women seek sexual novelty and adventure. Rather than being the partner striving for a monogamous relationship it’s saying women really have to fight their instincts to stay faithful and lack of novelty is what lowers women’s libido.
Written by a woman and there’s a lot of research in it by women scientists. Gives an interesting take on why this lifestyle exists and questions monogamy and the traditions surrounding it. A bit like ‘Sex at Dawn’. Possibly makes you feel that we’re not strange for enjoying swinging
Anyone read it? "
I wouldn't mind doing - who's it by? |
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Isn't it religion that has held women down for centuries.. Most religions are controlled by men and as women are the bearers of children, men have sought to control that.
Now we live in a time beyond religion for many so women can feel liberated to do what they like..... |
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By *orl1971 OP Couple
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"Reading an interesting factual book called ‘Untrue’ which makes the case that women seek sexual novelty and adventure. Rather than being the partner striving for a monogamous relationship it’s saying women really have to fight their instincts to stay faithful and lack of novelty is what lowers women’s libido.
Written by a woman and there’s a lot of research in it by women scientists. Gives an interesting take on why this lifestyle exists and questions monogamy and the traditions surrounding it. A bit like ‘Sex at Dawn’. Possibly makes you feel that we’re not strange for enjoying swinging
Anyone read it?
I wouldn't mind doing - who's it by?"
By Wednesday Martin. You’ll find some articles online giving a summary of the book and interviews with her. |
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By *orl1971 OP Couple
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"Isn't it religion that has held women down for centuries.. Most religions are controlled by men and as women are the bearers of children, men have sought to control that.
Now we live in a time beyond religion for many so women can feel liberated to do what they like..... "
Yes agree on both points but society seems to still take a more negative view of women with multiple partners than the corresponding men. That is changing but seems only slowly. Look how many people on Fab want to keep this a secret. Having a relationship that is non-monogamous is still taboo and frowned upon although it would seem we are not wired to be monogamous. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven’t read the book but it’s true for me. I’ve lost sexual interest / libido with my partners after 18 months - 2 years all through my life. I managed one 6-year relationship but I wasn’t interested in sex with him for the last year. Hence I’ve sworn off LTRs now and I’m looking for a nice circle of FWBs to keep the novelty alive. Not tried swinging in real life yet but definitely planning to start going to clubs eventually. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Reading an interesting factual book called ‘Untrue’ which makes the case that women seek sexual novelty and adventure. Rather than being the partner striving for a monogamous relationship it’s saying women really have to fight their instincts to stay faithful and lack of novelty is what lowers women’s libido.
Written by a woman and there’s a lot of research in it by women scientists. Gives an interesting take on why this lifestyle exists and questions monogamy and the traditions surrounding it. A bit like ‘Sex at Dawn’. Possibly makes you feel that we’re not strange for enjoying swinging
Anyone read it?
I wouldn't mind doing - who's it by?
By Wednesday Martin. You’ll find some articles online giving a summary of the book and interviews with her. "
Thank you
Appreciate it x |
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By *orl1971 OP Couple
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"I haven’t read the book but it’s true for me. I’ve lost sexual interest / libido with my partners after 18 months - 2 years all through my life. I managed one 6-year relationship but I wasn’t interested in sex with him for the last year. Hence I’ve sworn off LTRs now and I’m looking for a nice circle of FWBs to keep the novelty alive. Not tried swinging in real life yet but definitely planning to start going to clubs eventually. "
Have read multiple accounts of women who lose their libido with their partner. Split up. Then their libido problems disappear with a new partner. Would seem to reinforce what is said in the book.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I haven’t read the book but it’s true for me. I’ve lost sexual interest / libido with my partners after 18 months - 2 years all through my life. I managed one 6-year relationship but I wasn’t interested in sex with him for the last year. Hence I’ve sworn off LTRs now and I’m looking for a nice circle of FWBs to keep the novelty alive. Not tried swinging in real life yet but definitely planning to start going to clubs eventually.
Have read multiple accounts of women who lose their libido with their partner. Split up. Then their libido problems disappear with a new partner. Would seem to reinforce what is said in the book.
"
That’s exactly how it is for me! When I’m in a LTR I feel like I’ll never want sex again. As soon as I end the relationship my libido comes racing back. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven't yet, but I'm going to. I'm so fed up of those common places that women are prey, not interested in sex, monogamous. And on the other side men should be the opposite, it's just not true in my opinion and experience. |
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By *orl1971 OP Couple
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"I haven’t read the book but it’s true for me. I’ve lost sexual interest / libido with my partners after 18 months - 2 years all through my life. I managed one 6-year relationship but I wasn’t interested in sex with him for the last year. Hence I’ve sworn off LTRs now and I’m looking for a nice circle of FWBs to keep the novelty alive. Not tried swinging in real life yet but definitely planning to start going to clubs eventually.
Have read multiple accounts of women who lose their libido with their partner. Split up. Then their libido problems disappear with a new partner. Would seem to reinforce what is said in the book.
That’s exactly how it is for me! When I’m in a LTR I feel like I’ll never want sex again. As soon as I end the relationship my libido comes racing back. "
Spoke to so many single guys who are divorced or playing away on here without wife’s knowledge. They talk about the lack of sex with partner and how the wife is a ‘bad person’ for denying him sex. If more people understood this then something can be done about it. Perhaps the solution in a marriage with low female libido is not for the guy to play away but for the woman to be allowed extra cirricular sex . Controversial |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I haven’t read the book but it’s true for me. I’ve lost sexual interest / libido with my partners after 18 months - 2 years all through my life. I managed one 6-year relationship but I wasn’t interested in sex with him for the last year. Hence I’ve sworn off LTRs now and I’m looking for a nice circle of FWBs to keep the novelty alive. Not tried swinging in real life yet but definitely planning to start going to clubs eventually.
Have read multiple accounts of women who lose their libido with their partner. Split up. Then their libido problems disappear with a new partner. Would seem to reinforce what is said in the book.
That’s exactly how it is for me! When I’m in a LTR I feel like I’ll never want sex again. As soon as I end the relationship my libido comes racing back.
Spoke to so many single guys who are divorced or playing away on here without wife’s knowledge. They talk about the lack of sex with partner and how the wife is a ‘bad person’ for denying him sex. If more people understood this then something can be done about it. Perhaps the solution in a marriage with low female libido is not for the guy to play away but for the woman to be allowed extra cirricular sex . Controversial "
Absolutely! I think a lot of women don’t realise their libido will come back - I know I didn’t, the first time I ended a relationship. I thought I just had no libido or was asexual.
Personally I’m a fan of just ending relationships!! Also controversial  when a married cheating guy messages me on here and I ask why they don’t end the relationship im always told “it’s complicated” but hey, it doesn’t have to be |
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