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Club etiquette - single guy...
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By *vrider OP Man
over a year ago
Chester |
Hey all, had a scan through and couldn't immediately see anything that really answered this so apologies if it's an old topic that you're all sick of.
So I've never been to a club. I've always wanted to but have never had anyone to go with me (world's smallest violin). How is it perceived when a single guy goes to a club on his own?
Is it cool? I don't know why but it seems like you should either go with a partner or at least meet someone there.
Before lockdown started I tried so hard to pysc myself up to just go to Liverpool and try it out but I always got cold feet. Now we're being allowed to go out and play again I really want to get past this and just try it.
Should I?? |
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By *vrider OP Man
over a year ago
Chester |
"
Before lockdown started I tried so hard to pysc myself up to just go to Liverpool and try it out but I always got cold feet.
Where in Liverpool were you hoping to go ?"
I've heard of townhouse, mainly thru here but it seems that most people already know each other there so it kinda makes me nervous... |
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"Hey all, had a scan through and couldn't immediately see anything that really answered this so apologies if it's an old topic that you're all sick of.
So I've never been to a club. I've always wanted to but have never had anyone to go with me (world's smallest violin). How is it perceived when a single guy goes to a club on his own?
Is it cool? I don't know why but it seems like you should either go with a partner or at least meet someone there.
Before lockdown started I tried so hard to pysc myself up to just go to Liverpool and try it out but I always got cold feet. Now we're being allowed to go out and play again I really want to get past this and just try it.
Should I??"
Single men are usually always welcomed 
For advice, I’d have a look on the forums, pick the club and event you want and message to be on the guest list. That way, you know there won’t be too many single men for you to be turned away and a good mix of singles and couples.
I’ve attended a fair few clubs in the north west and only look for single men so it definitely goes down well. It’s perceived absolutely fine .
I wouldn’t worry about people knowing each other, I’ve never found anyone to be purposely clicky it is just genuinely people already know each other. Newbies have always been welcomed IMO.
Be confident, outgoing and respectful and you’ll have no problems.
Ps club play is the most open and friendly (staff and attendees) place I’ve been Xx |
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By *vrider OP Man
over a year ago
Chester |
"Hey all, had a scan through and couldn't immediately see anything that really answered this so apologies if it's an old topic that you're all sick of.
So I've never been to a club. I've always wanted to but have never had anyone to go with me (world's smallest violin). How is it perceived when a single guy goes to a club on his own?
Is it cool? I don't know why but it seems like you should either go with a partner or at least meet someone there.
Before lockdown started I tried so hard to pysc myself up to just go to Liverpool and try it out but I always got cold feet. Now we're being allowed to go out and play again I really want to get past this and just try it.
Should I??
Single men are usually always welcomed
For advice, I’d have a look on the forums, pick the club and event you want and message to be on the guest list. That way, you know there won’t be too many single men for you to be turned away and a good mix of singles and couples.
I’ve attended a fair few clubs in the north west and only look for single men so it definitely goes down well. It’s perceived absolutely fine .
I wouldn’t worry about people knowing each other, I’ve never found anyone to be purposely clicky it is just genuinely people already know each other. Newbies have always been welcomed IMO.
Be confident, outgoing and respectful and you’ll have no problems.
Ps club play is the most open and friendly (staff and attendees) place I’ve been Xx "
That's actually really good advice. Thanks! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hey all, had a scan through and couldn't immediately see anything that really answered this so apologies if it's an old topic that you're all sick of.
So I've never been to a club. I've always wanted to but have never had anyone to go with me (world's smallest violin). How is it perceived when a single guy goes to a club on his own?
Is it cool? I don't know why but it seems like you should either go with a partner or at least meet someone there.
Before lockdown started I tried so hard to pysc myself up to just go to Liverpool and try it out but I always got cold feet. Now we're being allowed to go out and play again I really want to get past this and just try it.
Should I??"
Go for it, but ffs put your locker key on your ankle! Nothing worse than the jangling noise when you're putting on a show! Like santa has given his elves wank mags! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
just be polite and respectful, dont be pushy and you will get on fine, dont expect anything to happen but chat to people if you can, just treat it like any pub/club where you want to get to know people, and enjoy |
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I would say be the best happy smiling friendly self you can be. Avoid joining the ranks of the wanking dead at all costs. The key is a good feel for timing and the intentions of the people you look to chat up. Unfortunately this may be something that is natural to you or something that you have to learn. But if your friendly, genuine and yourself what's the worst that can happen? You may not be everyone's cup of tea sexually but people will at least see your a good gent and warm to you (may even point you in the right direction of someone who's cup of tea you would be). Even a friendly knock back is experience, never fear it, learn from it. Often a knock back isn't a bad reflection on you per se if your decent genuine guy. Often they are not looking for a single man or your just not what they are looking for sexually. After all we all have diverse, not generic tastes. You have far more chance finding good company being friendly and respectful than being pushy, arrogant or in the ranks of the wanking dead. Picking the right event or club for you may also help. Not every night or club is the same. And different men thrive in different club atmospheres. |
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By *ty31Man
over a year ago
NW London |
Is it cool? I don't know why but it seems like you should either go with a partner or at least meet someone there.
---
Its just fine to attend by yourself, it's not actually viewed as being awkward or sad because swinging clubs by their nature are very socialable places and it's not too difficult to find people to chat to, especially in the smoking area! |
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The only way to find out is to take the plunge and do it. As a single, I was nervous too and put it off for some time. When I finally went to a club, I loved meeting people with a shared interest in sex! And there will be all sorts, both couples and singles, so you don't need to feel self conscious at all.
The experience can be highly variable. Even at the same club, you can have a great time one day and not so good on your next visit. For many clubs, letting in a fair number of single males is part of their business model. If the ratio of males to females is too high, it can be a negative vibe with the males crowding around and getting pushy. |
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Follow the dress code of the club.
Be nice.
Be clean.
Be respectful.
Chat.
Expect nothing.
Clubs are just buildings where people socialise with each other and everyone knows that somewhere, some folk are shagging.
A bit like a pub really.
There's a huge list of things not to do but they all fall outside that list up there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cheers everyone, I feel better about going alone now.
Just gotta find the next local night.... "
Put it this way; if single guys didn't go to clubs, who would I invite to fuck my gf when she's tied up in the fetish room?  |
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Dont touch without asking - Just because people are playing doesnt mean anyone can join in.
Accept a no thank you gracefully
Be chilled and talk to people
These may seem obvious but you would be amazed how many guys dont follow the basics.
We only meet single guys in clubs and Flower does like to be played with and enjoys returning the favour but its all about a connection and not being pushy.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hey all, had a scan through and couldn't immediately see anything that really answered this so apologies if it's an old topic that you're all sick of.
So I've never been to a club. I've always wanted to but have never had anyone to go with me (world's smallest violin). How is it perceived when a single guy goes to a club on his own?
Is it cool? I don't know why but it seems like you should either go with a partner or at least meet someone there.
Before lockdown started I tried so hard to pysc myself up to just go to Liverpool and try it out but I always got cold feet. Now we're being allowed to go out and play again I really want to get past this and just try it.
Should I??
Single men are usually always welcomed
For advice, I’d have a look on the forums, pick the club and event you want and message to be on the guest list. That way, you know there won’t be too many single men for you to be turned away and a good mix of singles and couples.
I’ve attended a fair few clubs in the north west and only look for single men so it definitely goes down well. It’s perceived absolutely fine .
I wouldn’t worry about people knowing each other, I’ve never found anyone to be purposely clicky it is just genuinely people already know each other. Newbies have always been welcomed IMO.
Be confident, outgoing and respectful and you’ll have no problems.
Ps club play is the most open and friendly (staff and attendees) place I’ve been Xx "
Great advice. Have a look at different swinging club's websites . There's plenty advice for single guys on etiquette and how to behave. Read them and take note . It could be the difference between playing or getting thrown out. Study it well, be polite and respectful. I go to the club's for the social side to swinging and have met some wonderful people on my fab journey. Go with no expectations . Have fun |
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"Hey all, had a scan through and couldn't immediately see anything that really answered this so apologies if it's an old topic that you're all sick of.
So I've never been to a club. I've always wanted to but have never had anyone to go with me (world's smallest violin). How is it perceived when a single guy goes to a club on his own?
Is it cool? I don't know why but it seems like you should either go with a partner or at least meet someone there.
Before lockdown started I tried so hard to pysc myself up to just go to Liverpool and try it out but I always got cold feet. Now we're being allowed to go out and play again I really want to get past this and just try it.
Should I??
Go for it, but ffs put your locker key on your ankle! Nothing worse than the jangling noise when you're putting on a show! Like santa has given his elves wank mags! "
A runner wrist purse works well for condoms and locker key and its waterproof so you can have a swim/hot tub with it as well |
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By *entenTeaCouple
over a year ago
Buckley North Wales |
A few things from a couple's perspective, well our perspective any way. Please don't ask the husband for permission to talk to his wife. Just ask the couple can I join you, be it in the lounge or hot tub?
Be friendly and clean (well groomed).
Some times couples play a longer game and may invite a guy they chatted to earlier to join them in a play room a bit later so being chatty and friendly is never wasted.
To avoid hassel with accessing your mobile phone in a club. Have a pen and post it notes if you share your fab name.
Try to chat about more than just swinging. Turn up the charm with out being pushy or smarmy.
|
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By *vrider OP Man
over a year ago
Chester |
"Hey all, had a scan through and couldn't immediately see anything that really answered this so apologies if it's an old topic that you're all sick of.
So I've never been to a club. I've always wanted to but have never had anyone to go with me (world's smallest violin). How is it perceived when a single guy goes to a club on his own?
Is it cool? I don't know why but it seems like you should either go with a partner or at least meet someone there.
Before lockdown started I tried so hard to pysc myself up to just go to Liverpool and try it out but I always got cold feet. Now we're being allowed to go out and play again I really want to get past this and just try it.
Should I??
Go for it, but ffs put your locker key on your ankle! Nothing worse than the jangling noise when you're putting on a show! Like santa has given his elves wank mags!
A runner wrist purse works well for condoms and locker key and its waterproof so you can have a swim/hot tub with it as well"
You wouldn't recommend a bum bag?
I think it would look quite fetching bopping up and down |
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By *vrider OP Man
over a year ago
Chester |
"A few things from a couple's perspective, well our perspective any way. Please don't ask the husband for permission to talk to his wife. Just ask the couple can I join you, be it in the lounge or hot tub?
Be friendly and clean (well groomed).
Some times couples play a longer game and may invite a guy they chatted to earlier to join them in a play room a bit later so being chatty and friendly is never wasted.
To avoid hassel with accessing your mobile phone in a club. Have a pen and post it notes if you share your fab name.
Try to chat about more than just swinging. Turn up the charm with out being pushy or smarmy.
"
More Great advice. Cheers |
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Ok so I’m no expert in these matters and by god I’ve had more than my fair share of knock backs, but here goes.
Imagine moving to a new place and going into your local where no one knows you. However by going in regularly the bar staff and the regulars get to know you. Clubs are a lot like that.
Also be clean esp your cock.
Respect boundaries
Don’t be part of the wanking zombie crew
Actually speak to people
Accept that as a single fella you have your work cut out for you |
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"Hey all, had a scan through and couldn't immediately see anything that really answered this so apologies if it's an old topic that you're all sick of.
So I've never been to a club. I've always wanted to but have never had anyone to go with me (world's smallest violin). How is it perceived when a single guy goes to a club on his own?
Is it cool? I don't know why but it seems like you should either go with a partner or at least meet someone there.
Before lockdown started I tried so hard to pysc myself up to just go to Liverpool and try it out but I always got cold feet. Now we're being allowed to go out and play again I really want to get past this and just try it.
Should I??"
The club scene for single guys really is hit or miss. Accept the fact you're not what most people are looking for (clubs are essentially for couples to meet other couples), and be prepared to be knocked back. A lot.
Read the club reviews section, and particularly reviews left by other single guys, noting which night/event they attended. Message club owners/hosts directly, and ask when single guys are actively sought.
If you have a female friend who would accompany you, I would always recommend your first visit as part of a couple, as people are more open, friendly, and welcoming to a guy with a female, than they are to a solo guy. That's been my experience in several clubs anyway 
The worst that can happen is; you don't like it and you end up catching Last Orders down your local, with a tale to tell  |
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By *ocothumpaMan
over a year ago
quite close to you |
Copied my own advice to some one asking the (near enough) same:
1. Do your research- find what’s on around were you live; about an hour away is best, that way if it’s not your thing you don’t have a long slog back home or an expensive wank in a hotel.
2. Pick the right night - don’t go to a couples only night with someone you’ve met on here - it’s very likely you’ll be left standing watching over playing.
3. ‘No’ - accept this as a golden rule. Don’t yet and convince and worst don’t get angry or beg.
4. Don’t follow women around the clubs - they hate being stalked.
5. Be clean - honestly have a nice long shower before you go. And dress up don’t just rock up like you’re doing the night shift at a petrol station … clean and cut fingernails (trust me)
6. Don’t assume because you’ve paid, or women are walking around naked or are fucking inches from you you can grope them - ask if you can join in. I’ve seen a guy get punched in the dick.
7. Talk to people - if talking to a couple talk to both of them. I’ve fallen into this trap before talking just to the woman and then the man felt insulted and it was game over.
8. Be that guy that reports wankers - not literal wankers as they’ll be those guys there - but pissed up and up rude abusive and sketchy guys who will spoil it for you (a single guy)
9. Relax and don’t forget your humour.
10. Stay local for a while once you become a regular you are going to see a real change in how others treat you.
11. Sounds weird but don’t drink - if you’re driving don’t bother the police will be on the look out for you - yes they know that club you’ve just come out of is a swingers Club…they know. But it’s easy for that Dutch courage to turn into d*unk.
12. If there’s lockers- bring a towel.
13. Get a little bag you can wear and put your condoms, baby wipes (cleanliness remember) and money into
14. Don’t be the guy who lurks in the background while some other guy is doing the talking - I’ve had a guy ruin my time with a woman by trying to dry hump her while she was kissing me
15. As a single guy this is the horrible truth - you’re going to be seen as a pariah - sorry but clubs and events are more catered towards couples and single women - you’re going to be excluded more, denied more, ignored, charged more to enter, given the smaller spaces, judged more, and like on here couples and women will openly lump you together with a minority of losers & creeps soo it doesn’t matter what you’re like you have to be twice as good as the male partner to be considered decent ( unless you’re black at a Interracial swingers event then you’re the prize at one BMFC party years ago I saw five guys sat alone drinking while their wives/girlfriends were being fucked in another room but that was another time).
16. Don’t eat the finger food! Carb load and drink plenty before you arrive.
17. Don’t expect anything - but if the night is dead then go home, don’t stick around
18. NO REALLY DOES MEAN NO - it just bares repeating.
19. Don’t be surprised at what you see.
20. HAVE FUN!!! Make new acquaintances, connections etc you’ll be more attractive by being more fun and approachable.
Good luck anyway |
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By *vrider OP Man
over a year ago
Chester |
"Copied my own advice to some one asking the (near enough) same:
1. Do your research- find what’s on around were you live; about an hour away is best, that way if it’s not your thing you don’t have a long slog back home or an expensive wank in a hotel.
2. Pick the right night - don’t go to a couples only night with someone you’ve met on here - it’s very likely you’ll be left standing watching over playing.
3. ‘No’ - accept this as a golden rule. Don’t yet and convince and worst don’t get angry or beg.
4. Don’t follow women around the clubs - they hate being stalked.
5. Be clean - honestly have a nice long shower before you go. And dress up don’t just rock up like you’re doing the night shift at a petrol station … clean and cut fingernails (trust me)
6. Don’t assume because you’ve paid, or women are walking around naked or are fucking inches from you you can grope them - ask if you can join in. I’ve seen a guy get punched in the dick.
7. Talk to people - if talking to a couple talk to both of them. I’ve fallen into this trap before talking just to the woman and then the man felt insulted and it was game over.
8. Be that guy that reports wankers - not literal wankers as they’ll be those guys there - but pissed up and up rude abusive and sketchy guys who will spoil it for you (a single guy)
9. Relax and don’t forget your humour.
10. Stay local for a while once you become a regular you are going to see a real change in how others treat you.
11. Sounds weird but don’t drink - if you’re driving don’t bother the police will be on the look out for you - yes they know that club you’ve just come out of is a swingers Club…they know. But it’s easy for that Dutch courage to turn into d*unk.
12. If there’s lockers- bring a towel.
13. Get a little bag you can wear and put your condoms, baby wipes (cleanliness remember) and money into
14. Don’t be the guy who lurks in the background while some other guy is doing the talking - I’ve had a guy ruin my time with a woman by trying to dry hump her while she was kissing me
15. As a single guy this is the horrible truth - you’re going to be seen as a pariah - sorry but clubs and events are more catered towards couples and single women - you’re going to be excluded more, denied more, ignored, charged more to enter, given the smaller spaces, judged more, and like on here couples and women will openly lump you together with a minority of losers & creeps soo it doesn’t matter what you’re like you have to be twice as good as the male partner to be considered decent ( unless you’re black at a Interracial swingers event then you’re the prize at one BMFC party years ago I saw five guys sat alone drinking while their wives/girlfriends were being fucked in another room but that was another time).
16. Don’t eat the finger food! Carb load and drink plenty before you arrive.
17. Don’t expect anything - but if the night is dead then go home, don’t stick around
18. NO REALLY DOES MEAN NO - it just bares repeating.
19. Don’t be surprised at what you see.
20. HAVE FUN!!! Make new acquaintances, connections etc you’ll be more attractive by being more fun and approachable.
Good luck anyway"
Concise, detailed and full of good info. Cheers petal!! |
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By *ocothumpaMan
over a year ago
quite close to you |
"Copied my own advice to some one asking the (near enough) same:
1. Do your research- find what’s on around were you live; about an hour away is best, that way if it’s not your thing you don’t have a long slog back home or an expensive wank in a hotel.
2. Pick the right night - don’t go to a couples only night with someone you’ve met on here - it’s very likely you’ll be left standing watching over playing.
3. ‘No’ - accept this as a golden rule. Don’t yet and convince and worst don’t get angry or beg.
4. Don’t follow women around the clubs - they hate being stalked.
5. Be clean - honestly have a nice long shower before you go. And dress up don’t just rock up like you’re doing the night shift at a petrol station … clean and cut fingernails (trust me)
6. Don’t assume because you’ve paid, or women are walking around naked or are fucking inches from you you can grope them - ask if you can join in. I’ve seen a guy get punched in the dick.
7. Talk to people - if talking to a couple talk to both of them. I’ve fallen into this trap before talking just to the woman and then the man felt insulted and it was game over.
8. Be that guy that reports wankers - not literal wankers as they’ll be those guys there - but pissed up and up rude abusive and sketchy guys who will spoil it for you (a single guy)
9. Relax and don’t forget your humour.
10. Stay local for a while once you become a regular you are going to see a real change in how others treat you.
11. Sounds weird but don’t drink - if you’re driving don’t bother the police will be on the look out for you - yes they know that club you’ve just come out of is a swingers Club…they know. But it’s easy for that Dutch courage to turn into d*unk.
12. If there’s lockers- bring a towel.
13. Get a little bag you can wear and put your condoms, baby wipes (cleanliness remember) and money into
14. Don’t be the guy who lurks in the background while some other guy is doing the talking - I’ve had a guy ruin my time with a woman by trying to dry hump her while she was kissing me
15. As a single guy this is the horrible truth - you’re going to be seen as a pariah - sorry but clubs and events are more catered towards couples and single women - you’re going to be excluded more, denied more, ignored, charged more to enter, given the smaller spaces, judged more, and like on here couples and women will openly lump you together with a minority of losers & creeps soo it doesn’t matter what you’re like you have to be twice as good as the male partner to be considered decent ( unless you’re black at a Interracial swingers event then you’re the prize at one BMFC party years ago I saw five guys sat alone drinking while their wives/girlfriends were being fucked in another room but that was another time).
16. Don’t eat the finger food! Carb load and drink plenty before you arrive.
17. Don’t expect anything - but if the night is dead then go home, don’t stick around
18. NO REALLY DOES MEAN NO - it just bares repeating.
19. Don’t be surprised at what you see.
20. HAVE FUN!!! Make new acquaintances, connections etc you’ll be more attractive by being more fun and approachable.
Good luck anyway
Concise, detailed and full of good info. Cheers petal!!"
Happily done, sugarplum |
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By *atenaWoman
over a year ago
Hyde |
"
Go for it, but ffs put your locker key on your ankle! Nothing worse than the jangling noise when you're putting on a show! Like santa has given his elves wank mags! "
So as a club virgin this has given me such a visual that made me LOL  |
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