FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Lose erection come meets
Lose erection come meets
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Bit of an odd question for the lads, but does anyone struggle with keeping the big fella up come meets, through nerves?
I've struggled a couple of times probably because of the expectation, or something. I'm absolutely turned on & mentally ready for action, & most meets I've been absolutely fine, How do people overcome this, or am I just not cut out for it?  |
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Nerves have a massive part to play, Rick did struggle the first couple of times but the more the confidence grows the more the soldier stands tall lol.
Try a few socails first to get more comfortable |
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Totally agree with the socials and getting comfortable with the person / people you're playing with.
Just remember pressure to perform is the killer of all fun so try to enjoy the moment rather than psyche yourself out of the game! |
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As has been said, if you're nervous that can cause issues. Try not to put yourself under pressure. For one thing, experienced swingers understand that this can happen to someone new to playing with them and will try to relax you and help you to get back on track.
I had that issue when I attended my first party as an 18 year old. I was so embarrased until a lady older than myself took me to somewhere quiet, relaxed me and I returned to the action standing proud.
Tiredness can also be a killer. After very little sleep over a 48 hour period I went off to play with one of my regular ladies to find I had to work at getting 'him' to stand up. Again, she understood the reason and everything was fine in the end.
Fortunately those are the only two occassions where I've had any problems and I'm sure that the more you immerse yourself in the lifestyle, the more comfortable you will become in that environment, and the less you'll even think about getting an erection. |
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I have witnessed the effect of nerves on even young fit men at gangbangs. Experience does help you relax and in the end it usually ceases to be a problem. However, the first time a guy steps forward to have sex in front of 10+ other watching guys is often a quite daunting and so the wee fellow suddenly wants to hide. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Stage fright is real 
Best to start off gently to get used to fucking strangers before you move onto having spectators or lining up for up for gangbang. Many men like the idea of it but can't perform due to nerves on the day. |
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Don't worry about it..... Unless you have the same issue at other times then its probably, just nerves, and focusing on it will only make it worse..... On your next meet, focus on their pleasure..... lots of kissing, and foreplay and dont be in a hurry to get to the penetration, lots of people also love sucking a soft cock and feeling it slowly harden...... Speak to your gp or pharmacist and get some pills.... even just taking a half tablet will give confidence and remove some of the performance anxiety..... before you know it you'll be rock hard and horny enough to go a couple of rounds at least! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Performing is definitely harder for men (pardon the pun lol).
The 'chain comes off my bike' quite easily when faced with a new scenario or unfamiliar surroundings and people.
Its more a mental than physical thing for me.
I have to be mentally turned on for the physical side to kick in.
Every situation is slightly different, so adapting can be a factor, but I have also found that comfort is the key to making a good meet better. |
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Yes, when it moves much too quickly. Many years ago now, but have had difficulty (despite a great start) part way through as we hadn't really talked about what we’re into etc, went at it hammer and tongs and it all felt a bit awkward.
I prefer a social first, build connection, get to know the other person a bit and let the chemistry flow from there. |
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"Performing is definitely harder for men (pardon the pun lol).
The 'chain comes off my bike' quite easily when faced with a new scenario or unfamiliar surroundings and people.
Its more a mental than physical thing for me.
I have to be mentally turned on for the physical side to kick in.
Every situation is slightly different, so adapting can be a factor, but I have also found that comfort is the key to making a good meet better. "
I really find the same.
The mental side of things has to be in order for the physical side to work! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP, I would not worry to much, like lots have said nerves play their part - although I am a very confident chilled guy, even I used to get "stage fright" on occasions - so now I only meet socially first, chill out over a coffee have a natter etc
But don't stress OP
J x  |
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"Bit of an odd question for the lads, but does anyone struggle with keeping the big fella up come meets, through nerves?
I've struggled a couple of times probably because of the expectation, or something. I'm absolutely turned on & mentally ready for action, & most meets I've been absolutely fine, How do people overcome this, or am I just not cut out for it? "
Errant erections are very common and completely normal. From my point of view, all I require from a man in such a situation is to deal with it in a mature way - not to try and make it my responsibility or make me feel awkward etc but to adapt to the situation and move on to other types of play. Charm, good humour and good manners help a lot in such scenarios. |
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Private play meets not so much but at parties and in clubs yes. Though I’ve found this to be as of late and not so much when I first started out in this lifestyle. Can be difficult to relax and get into the flow of play in a party setting sometimes. It’s annoying as you click with someone, wanna take things further but when it’s time to perform it’s not happening downstairs  |
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We always have 50mg of prescribed viagra as a back up plan (its also available over the counter as Viagra connect). Generally i can keep wood for hours but no one including hardened swingers are immune from occasional stage fright..no matter how rare that is or virile the guy is. Having viagra there 'if its needed' avoids any potential confidence knock or break in play. |
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"We always have 50mg of prescribed viagra as a back up plan (its also available over the counter as Viagra connect). Generally i can keep wood for hours but no one including hardened swingers are immune from occasional stage fright..no matter how rare that is or virile the guy is. Having viagra there 'if its needed' avoids any potential confidence knock or break in play. "
Always worth having a back up !
It’s not the getting it up that worries me, it’s in case my wife thinks I’m not turned on and starts stressing. Which in turn causes me to stress.
I find excusing yourself for two minutes to the toilet and a few deep breathes to calm down helps massively. |
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As others have said. You are your own worst enemy. You are trying to be awesome and that causes you to think you aren't awesome, so your fella effs off!
Yeah,i just relax, if it happens, make a joke about it, grab a drink and focus on the other party for a bit. He will come back!
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