FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Non displayed verification
Non displayed verification
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Would like to ask some advice as I’m not sure if we are being a bit over sensitive or just over thinking it. We recently met a single guy and played with him. We later left a veri and he said “thanks but I won’t be displaying it at the moment as I’ve told other people I’m not meeting at the moment so would make me look bad if I do” I found that quite rude and made me feel a tad cheap like some dirty secret he was happy to meet just as long as his other friends didn’t find out. Maybe because we are not up to his Usual standard I’m not sure. Sounds a bit like he wants to have his cake and eat it. Maybe I’m being a bit over sensitive as at the end of the day it’s his profile and his choice ? How would others feel ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would like to ask some advice as I’m not sure if we are being a bit over sensitive or just over thinking it. We recently met a single guy and played with him. We later left a veri and he said “thanks but I won’t be displaying it at the moment as I’ve told other people I’m not meeting at the moment so would make me look bad if I do” I found that quite rude and made me feel a tad cheap like some dirty secret he was happy to meet just as long as his other friends didn’t find out. Maybe because we are not up to his Usual standard I’m not sure. Sounds a bit like he wants to have his cake and eat it. Maybe I’m being a bit over sensitive as at the end of the day it’s his profile and his choice ? How would others feel ? "
I think you need to take his reason for not displaying it at face value and not take it personally.
X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Think about it another way OP. Taking it at face value he isn't meeting atm but made an exception for you as likes you so much just doesn't want to meet others so not advertising he's met someone  "
I did think that  |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
"Think about it another way OP. Taking it at face value he isn't meeting atm but made an exception for you as likes you so much just doesn't want to meet others so not advertising he's met someone "
This  |
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I've had it before where someone wanted a veri but said they couldn't do one in return & wouldn't display the one I gave just yet, as they were developing a FWB relationship with someone & had told them they wasn't meeting anyone else outside of their club meets
I didn't veri him (just said I forgot, he had plenty of others do it wasn't like he needed one from me) & I wasn't offended, it's the others he's misleading not you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think about it another way OP. Taking it at face value he isn't meeting atm but made an exception for you as likes you so much just doesn't want to meet others so not advertising he's met someone "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would like to ask some advice as I’m not sure if we are being a bit over sensitive or just over thinking it. We recently met a single guy and played with him. We later left a veri and he said “thanks but I won’t be displaying it at the moment as I’ve told other people I’m not meeting at the moment so would make me look bad if I do” I found that quite rude and made me feel a tad cheap like some dirty secret he was happy to meet just as long as his other friends didn’t find out. Maybe because we are not up to his Usual standard I’m not sure. Sounds a bit like he wants to have his cake and eat it. Maybe I’m being a bit over sensitive as at the end of the day it’s his profile and his choice ? How would others feel ? "
I’ve met people and not left veris and also choose not to display them either. It’s a personal choice , simply Becuase I don’t like to air my private life in public. I’m sure he didn’t mean to offend tou
That being said, when we meet, I will happily Leave you an amazing veri to say what an amazing time we had together! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We always ask people to never leave a verification and we never leave one either.
Why do we want to tell everyone "who, why when, what we did". All that is missing is a star review to say how good they were and if breakfast was included.
What we do stays with us... not everyone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've met.. dont do veris ( except the ones to pass the test)
No one needs to know who I meet and when..
So I'd respect his wishes op... or I'd get hassles |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We always ask people to never leave a verification and we never leave one either.
Why do we want to tell everyone "who, why when, what we did". All that is missing is a star review to say how good they were and if breakfast was included.
What we do stays with us... not everyone else. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think about it another way OP. Taking it at face value he isn't meeting atm but made an exception for you as likes you so much just doesn't want to meet others so not advertising he's met someone "
I thought this too, I'd see it as a compliment.
Mrs |
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"We always ask people to never leave a verification and we never leave one either.
Why do we want to tell everyone "who, why when, what we did". All that is missing is a star review to say how good they were and if breakfast was included.
What we do stays with us... not everyone else. "
But it's up to you whether you display your verification summary or individuals verifications.
As it stands with you not having received any verifications and been on over a year, your profile looks like it could be another guy hiding behind a couples profile. |
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I wouldn't take that personally at all. You have a meet showing, I'm guessing as without details it's the one your referring to? I've had many more meets where neither left veris. No particular reason for that. My profile only shows 7 veris. None of those have the details published. 3 of them I could if I wanted but the others go into graphic detail of what occurred and I don't feel the need for everyone else to know it all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Swinging is about friendship and having fun, not racking up verifications
I don't display any and rarely give them, generally only if I am asked to like if it's a newbie who "needs" his precious first one.
You had a nice meet so just leave it at that, don't worry about the veri. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would like to ask some advice as I’m not sure if we are being a bit over sensitive or just over thinking it. We recently met a single guy and played with him. We later left a veri and he said “thanks but I won’t be displaying it at the moment as I’ve told other people I’m not meeting at the moment so would make me look bad if I do” I found that quite rude and made me feel a tad cheap like some dirty secret he was happy to meet just as long as his other friends didn’t find out. Maybe because we are not up to his Usual standard I’m not sure. Sounds a bit like he wants to have his cake and eat it. Maybe I’m being a bit over sensitive as at the end of the day it’s his profile and his choice ? How would others feel ?
I’ve met people and not left veris and also choose not to display them either. It’s a personal choice , simply Becuase I don’t like to air my private life in public. I’m sure he didn’t mean to offend tou
That being said, when we meet, I will happily Leave you an amazing veri to say what an amazing time we had together! "
Oooh, very smooth |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We always ask people to never leave a verification and we never leave one either.
Why do we want to tell everyone "who, why when, what we did". All that is missing is a star review to say how good they were and if breakfast was included.
What we do stays with us... not everyone else. "
I am the same now. I don't display them and I can't bring myself to write one again. I just think they are cringy.. |
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By *ediMan
over a year ago
Leeds |
"Think about it another way OP. Taking it at face value he isn't meeting atm but made an exception for you as likes you so much just doesn't want to meet others so not advertising he's met someone "
I agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think about it another way OP. Taking it at face value he isn't meeting atm but made an exception for you as likes you so much just doesn't want to meet others so not advertising he's met someone "
^^^ |
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We've met a lot of people who haven't displayed our verification. We only ever say they're who they claim to be, they turned up and possibly mention that they were friendly etc. We never mention things like how good they were at blow jobs or anything.
We've also met people and neither of us have verified each other.
We don't display any verifications at all.
Don't read anything into it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Like others have said. I’d see it as a compliment that he’s kind of broken a rule he’s set himself to meet you. You must have really made an impression on him if he wasn’t planning on meeting people. |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
"Think about it another way OP. Taking it at face value he isn't meeting atm but made an exception for you as likes you so much just doesn't want to meet others so not advertising he's met someone
I did think that "
You might be his best ever secret and doesn’t want other people to see you/meet you...
Verifications from some of my absolute best meets/FWBs are well hidden in my profile... don’t want other people to tap into my treasure! lol xx   |
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Personally I think it should be taken as neither a compliment or an insult. In my opinion it's not a good idea to ascribe motive to people's action on fab good or bad, just accept that a good meet was had, a verification was given freely and with good intent and the person chose to use the option not to show it. It's not a bad reflection on the op, just a choice he's made.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would like to ask some advice as I’m not sure if we are being a bit over sensitive or just over thinking it. We recently met a single guy and played with him. We later left a veri and he said “thanks but I won’t be displaying it at the moment as I’ve told other people I’m not meeting at the moment so would make me look bad if I do” I found that quite rude and made me feel a tad cheap like some dirty secret he was happy to meet just as long as his other friends didn’t find out. Maybe because we are not up to his Usual standard I’m not sure. Sounds a bit like he wants to have his cake and eat it. Maybe I’m being a bit over sensitive as at the end of the day it’s his profile and his choice ? How would others feel ? "
Tbh I don't see anything wrong with him not displaying at min...His reason is totally understandable...He's just avoiding unnecessary grief from other peeps...Look on it that ye were quite special...the fact he made an exception for ye  |
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It's always because of them, not you. If you are generous and provide a veri, I think you have to let go of any interpretations on what they do with it, as we'll not know them well enough to really understand. I'd just accept what they say, possibly decide whether you would or would not meet them again and then put it behind you. Someone may have responsibilities for others just now, needing to help to protect their health, and thus wants to lessen their guilt over this, or something else. Only they will know. |
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I can see why he's not wanting to show a veri, if he's said to others he's not meeting at the moment, and it's not something personal against the OP.
I get some might feel a bit cringe writing a veri, it doesn't have to be minute by minute details of the action, just a we met them, they were friendly, they're genuine etc. This can really help us poor single males out there. |
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We tend to remove verifications from public view as they get older.
Our main reason is to show are
we are genuine
Recently active as a couple (so not one meet 10years ago)
We might like some of the people we have had fun with to share with other people they have met.
Other than that there is not much reason to show them.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't display any, because who I meet is my business alone.
However there could be lots of reasons why he didn't want to display yours, unfortunately you will never know the real reason so put it behind you. |
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Op to be fair verifications can be a bit misleading or over the top and his request wasn't unreasonable ,u had a good meet I take it so just put a note next to his name and when your all looking for a meet again you at least know he's genuine and it will be a pleasant meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My first veri came from a guy who didn't really want to give me one as he thought it was like "Trip Advisor" but for sex. So I agreed to hide it and have kept this up since. |
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"Think about it another way OP. Taking it at face value he isn't meeting atm but made an exception for you as likes you so much just doesn't want to meet others so not advertising he's met someone "
Exactly this |
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I do not display verifications because i like to think that ladies or couples who would like to meet should take the time to get to know me and me them. Im an adult and don't play games with people of they done see that in are conversations then they aren't right for me or me them. I do get alot of messages asking why im not verified?? Everybody is different. |
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