FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Any advice for a young lad?
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"Im a 18 year old fella who has had trouble finding meets on here. I cant work out whether its just me who has that problem or whether its every other guy as well. Id also love any advice to help me get some more meets Thanks in advance for any help H.S x" Read the thread under yours might help mate ! Or the ten others that will pop up No doubt over the next few days ! Not been smart but they be worth a look | |||
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"Im a 18 year old fella who has had trouble finding meets on here. I cant work out whether its just me who has that problem or whether its every other guy as well. Id also love any advice to help me get some more meets Thanks in advance for any help H.S x" You're 18 and you're in Exeter home of some of the hottest University students in the country and some amazing nightlife and you're on here What a waste You should be out there on the pull - work on your banter and how to chat up. How to cope with rejection. | |||
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"You can accommodate / you can't accommodate, which is it ? You don't drive & you can travel ? You have no idea what you want. You have no idea what to do & want lessons. You are only 18 You have little chance of anyone bothering as you are too much work" I actually think this reply is quite rude and unnecessary It would be quite easy to politely tell the OP of the host/travel mistake. As usual older Fab members are bashing a young lad who has just as much right to be on Fab as them. His profile is not bad as they go, he's got just as much chance of meeting as the rest of you. | |||
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"Im a 18 year old fella who has had trouble finding meets on here. I cant work out whether its just me who has that problem or whether its every other guy as well. Id also love any advice to help me get some more meets Thanks in advance for any help H.S x You're 18 and you're in Exeter home of some of the hottest University students in the country and some amazing nightlife and you're on here What a waste You should be out there on the pull - work on your banter and how to chat up. How to cope with rejection. " I guess you haven't noticed the nightlife is currently closed. | |||
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"Im a 18 year old fella who has had trouble finding meets on here. I cant work out whether its just me who has that problem or whether its every other guy as well. Id also love any advice to help me get some more meets Thanks in advance for any help H.S x You're 18 and you're in Exeter home of some of the hottest University students in the country and some amazing nightlife and you're on here What a waste You should be out there on the pull - work on your banter and how to chat up. How to cope with rejection. I guess you haven't noticed the nightlife is currently closed. " Ok- if you want to be pedantic - You're 18 and you're in Exeter home of some of the hottest University students in the country and some amazing pubs, bars, restaurants, cafes and ice cream parlours and you're on here | |||
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"You can accommodate / you can't accommodate, which is it ? You don't drive & you can travel ? You have no idea what you want. You have no idea what to do & want lessons. You are only 18 You have little chance of anyone bothering as you are too much work I actually think this reply is quite rude and unnecessary It would be quite easy to politely tell the OP of the host/travel mistake. As usual older Fab members are bashing a young lad who has just as much right to be on Fab as them. His profile is not bad as they go, he's got just as much chance of meeting as the rest of you. " Us "older" Fab members have the benefit of hindsight and given our life experiences know what we would do again at 18 and it isn't being on a website looking for sex. | |||
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"You can accommodate / you can't accommodate, which is it ? You don't drive & you can travel ? You have no idea what you want. You have no idea what to do & want lessons. You are only 18 You have little chance of anyone bothering as you are too much work I actually think this reply is quite rude and unnecessary It would be quite easy to politely tell the OP of the host/travel mistake. As usual older Fab members are bashing a young lad who has just as much right to be on Fab as them. His profile is not bad as they go, he's got just as much chance of meeting as the rest of you. " Thanks for your help. This has really helped me a lot and i wish the rest of fab was more like you. Have a good day x | |||
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"Should be out pulling birds in pubs ,think your a bit too young for the swinging lark ,most couples on here would dread to be playing with people younger than their own children ,I would say go out and start experiencing life with girls around your own age , you may even find the older woman who wants one offs with young lads , like I did before I settled down , leave swinging till you hit the 30 mark , you would have learnt so much more ,and bring so much more to the table " Thank you for that good advice. Ive plans to go to pubs and clubs when everything is back to normal. Thanks for your help and insight. Have a good day x | |||
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"In my opinion you are far too young to be on here. Should be 21 i think. You are practically still a child and very few people will want to meet a guy so young. At your age you dont need to be on the internet begging for sex. Go enjoy life and get some life experience. Sorry to be blunt but dont waste your life cos it goes so quick. All the best" Thanks mate. Im planning to get out in the real world when things begin to get back to normal, thanks for the advice | |||
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"The only advice I would give, is don't get older. It's Hell on the knees." Brilliant !!!!! | |||
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"Some of the comments on here are disgusting poor lad is asking for advice not to have people get nasty with them, fully grown adults as well. My advice is wait till your 21, you just need to experience behind you and explore for yourself before trying a site like this, then you'll have women interested. This site isn't full of horrible people there are some extremely nice people as well. Women prefer a guy that knows what he's doing as well. You just need to get out there and experiment first Hope this helps " Thank you. That helps a lot. Im looking to meet people in pubs and clubs when everything is more normal | |||
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"This is the advice section, not a tear a new member apart section A lot of the answers are dismissive and patronising, the man is an adult and is allowed on here like the rest of us To the OP, there will be someone about who wants to meet a younger man and even to show them the ropes, if you have any luck then stick around on the forum or use chat and it may get you noticed that way for now." Thanks for your help. Would you advise posting another post asking if there are people who are willing to teach me? | |||
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"Some of the comments on here are disgusting poor lad is asking for advice not to have people get nasty with them, fully grown adults as well. My advice is wait till your 21, you just need to experience behind you and explore for yourself before trying a site like this, then you'll have women interested. This site isn't full of horrible people there are some extremely nice people as well. Women prefer a guy that knows what he's doing as well. You just need to get out there and experiment first Hope this helps Thank you. That helps a lot. Im looking to meet people in pubs and clubs when everything is more normal " Reading the forums and talking to people on here will help as well, you learn from others | |||
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" This site is populated by many educated, discerning, experienced and intelligent people; it is not dial a shag for teenagers! " Really? I’ve read some pompous replies in my time on the forums and this is up there with the best of them. The OP has asked for advice in a polite and honest way. Was it necessary to reply in such a condescending manner? | |||
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"You can accommodate / you can't accommodate, which is it ? You don't drive & you can travel ? You have no idea what you want. You have no idea what to do & want lessons. You are only 18 You have little chance of anyone bothering as you are too much work" Wow. Give him a break. He's 18. Do you have a son? He asked for advice not a lecture | |||
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"Shock tactics. Designed to provide a short, sharp shock to bring the OP to the realisation that this is an alternative lifestyle site, not a sex site. " The comments were blunt, but they were however true. A lot of people come to this site with a totally different idea of what it is all about. They get blinded by all the possible sex about, and they want some. Nothing wrong in that, but it isn't the free for all sexfest that they think it is! | |||
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"Im a 18 year old fella who has had trouble finding meets on here. I cant work out whether its just me who has that problem or whether its every other guy as well. Id also love any advice to help me get some more meets Thanks in advance for any help H.S x" I’m in good shape and chat well to others but it’s very rare for a guy on here to get a meet .. it’s hard work I’m afraid | |||
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"Shock tactics. Designed to provide a short, sharp shock to bring the OP to the realisation that this is an alternative lifestyle site, not a sex site. The comments were blunt, but they were however true. A lot of people come to this site with a totally different idea of what it is all about. They get blinded by all the possible sex about, and they want some. Nothing wrong in that, but it isn't the free for all sexfest that they think it is!" Also are people only allowed to dish out "nice advice"? What if someone comes on and wrote "i got into swinging at 18 and it messed up my concepts of sex and relationships which led to years of therapy and the fact I'm warped at the age of 40" | |||
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"This is the advice section, not a tear a new member apart section A lot of the answers are dismissive and patronising, the man is an adult and is allowed on here like the rest of us To the OP, there will be someone about who wants to meet a younger man and even to show them the ropes, if you have any luck then stick around on the forum or use chat and it may get you noticed that way for now.Thanks for your help. Would you advise posting another post asking if there are people who are willing to teach me?" You could do but to be honest, only about 1% of the site use the forum so you would be limiting who will see the post I would keep it on your profile or status and post a meet on your profile , more people may see that, then stick around here, even if you don't get a meet from people on the forum it will keep you amused. Good luck | |||
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"Hello OP Firstly, you will need to accept some facts. Some people on here will have zero interest in meeting with you simply because of your age. Others will be rude to you because they are dismissive of your right to meet your way. Don't get into arguements over it; the world has changed and how people meet today is different to how it was 10 years ago, let alone 30 or 40. There is nothing you can do about your age, so don't fret. You shouldn't look on it as a negative, because for some potential meets your age is a selling point. Concentrate on finding the people that would like to meet a young man like you. Refine your search by ticking the "I must match their age requirements too" box. Also refine your search by age, distance etc. There is no point contacting people hundreds of miles away given your travel restrictions. Once you have those search results READ their profiles. It's such basic advice but so few follow it. Don't bother messaging those whose profile you don't meet. If it says they are looking for something that doesn't match who you are then that's not you so don't waste your time or theirs. Consider how you approach people, don't just write 'Hi', 'Fancy a chat' or any other generic one liner, It WILL get you ignored. Messaging like that doesn't work on Fab like it does with instant messaging services. Can you imagine writing Hi, waiting three days and then getting a msg back saying hi, to which you reply how are you and have to wait another three or four days for a reply? If you followed the advice above and read the persons profile then there should be some common ground to write about. Never be so crude as to send messages like 'Hey im free monday. Wanna come to my place and let me use that pussy?' You wouldn't say that sort of thing in person, so don't say it online. Now, providing you have sent a message that will entice them to look further they will 99% of the time look at your profile before responding. So now you have to sell yourself. Quite frankly you have had ten months to fill out your profile, but it still doesn't leap out of the screen at prospective meets. Your profile could be summed up as 'I don't know what I want, with whom, or what I offer'. It says nothing about you, and could be interpreted as 'I have nothing to say so you need to contact me', which I'm sure is not the impression you intended to make. We are a couple that do meet guys of your age, and one look at your profile would put us off from looking any further. Sadly, it is bland and doesn't stand out. It shows that you have taken no time whatsoever to use your profile to make a positive impression. Nobody knows you as well as you know you, and if you have nothing to say about yourself it could be interpreted as there is nothing worth saying about you. That's probably not true, but would you start a conversation in person with someone if you thought you would only get single word answers because they have nothing to say? Write something about you, what you have to offer, what your limits are etc. Basically - make people interested in you. As a single guy you are already fighting an uphill battle; as a young guy too your battle isn't uphill, its practically up a cliff! That doesn't mean you won't have any luck, but you really need to look at your profile, so as to ensure you make the best possible first impression. Dick pics are not the way to promote yourself, especially not as a profile pic if your trying to show your maturity. Everyone knows what a dick looks like, and believe it or not very few people actually want to look at row upon row of cocks when they look at a profile page. Your probably better off to leave your dick pics in your private file, if someone really wants to see it they will ask. Smiling face pics are invaluable. Next time it's a lovely day, get out and take some selfies somewhere nice, down on the Quay, in a park, the Cathedral etc. However your profile is not everything. Getting involved with the forums and the chatroom are both great ways of getting to know people with no pressure and no first time nerves. Rather than relying on a message, show your maturity and join in conversations, you never know someone might take an interest. When it's safe to do so... get off the site and meet people socially or try a club. You could always sign up to an organised social, where you may meet many people from the area, and perhaps make a better impression face to face than via the Internet. It might be a little nerve wracking the first time, but what harm can having a coffee or a pint with a stranger really do? Some will give you a chance, some won't, but we wish you luck " I joined fabs at 18. It was very very difficult for me..I agree with everything you said. I wish this advice was available to me then | |||
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"Should be out pulling birds in pubs ... " Maybe he wants to avoid years wasted on that usually fruitless pastime! | |||
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"Should be out pulling birds in pubs ... Maybe he wants to avoid years wasted on that usually fruitless pastime!" lol fab meets dont generally turn into years of misery and tortue called marriage to which you spend rest of your life paying for the biggest mistake you are ever likely to make | |||
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"Op fact is you won't be what most people are looking for, so my top tip is read profiles and don't waste your time on the profiles who aren't specifically looking for young guys as you are very unlikely to change their mind. There are people who will meet your age range so put your energy in to getting to know them as you are very unlikely to convert others." Thanks this is a great help. I will try to target my search a bit more | |||
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"Can you imagine the responses of the OP said she was an 18 year old female???? " Great point ! But I forget sometimes these are new people on here but I’ve no patience for people on here for a long period ! | |||
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"Can you imagine the responses of the OP said she was an 18 year old female???? " Agree totally. But he isn't. When have you last seen an 18 year old female post something like this?? | |||
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"Can you imagine the responses of the OP said she was an 18 year old female???? Agree totally. But he isn't. When have you last seen an 18 year old female post something like this??" Bebo | |||
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"Can you imagine the responses of the OP said she was an 18 year old female???? Agree totally. But he isn't. When have you last seen an 18 year old female post something like this?? Bebo " ? | |||
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"1. At 18 you're likely to struggle as many on here have children older than you and so that's just a no go area for them. 2. You can't accommodate and you don't drive. Have you heard of public transport? Furthermore you've basically admitted that you've got no idea what you're doing, what you're looking fir and so you'll certainly have no idea what you can offer. Seems to me that you think that being a Rugby type and posting a picture of your dick is going to have you fighting women off with a big stick. Newsflash. People are on here for their own pleasure. They're not here to show you the ropes or teach you things. Sorry to be so harsh but it seems to me that you've come to fab with expectations that will never be met. At your age you'd be far better off getting out and about and mixing with people your own age and getting some life experience under your belt" It does sound harsh but that last point is on point… | |||
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"Can you imagine the responses of the OP said she was an 18 year old female???? Agree totally. But he isn't. When have you last seen an 18 year old female post something like this?? Bebo ?" Kinda like Facebook before Facebook was big | |||
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"All I can say is the best of luck to you. The people saying you should be out pulling in clubs clearly haven't considered that you might be here to understand swinging and get involved. Yeah your profile has a few inconsistencies but so do most people of here (mine included). Once things open up try hitting a club and speaking to people face to face. After your first visit you'll have a better understanding on how this little world works and go from there. As a fellow single guy on here beleive me when I say; be prepared for months of disappointment and many unopened messages. It's just the way things are on here. The numbers are not even close " Thanks mate. That is my plan. Just waiting for things to open up again. I would love to learn about this little world more though. Maybe in the future | |||
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"Thanks mate. That is my plan. Just waiting for things to open up again. I would love to learn about this little world more though. Maybe in the future" What brought you to this site in first place? | |||
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"Im a 18 year old fella who has had trouble finding meets on here. I cant work out whether its just me who has that problem or whether its every other guy as well. Id also love any advice to help me get some more meets Thanks in advance for any help H.S x" Yes, why not try doing what young folks always used to do and date girls in a normal way. By the time you get old there will be nothing new to explore and you won’t have a clue how normal relationships work. Just a thought lol | |||
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"Yes, why not try doing what young folks always used to do and date girls in a normal way. By the time you get old there will be nothing new to explore and you won’t have a clue how normal relationships work. Just a thought lol " In fairness to the OP, the way people meet at 18 today is vastly different to the way it was when you were 18. | |||
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"Yes, why not try doing what young folks always used to do and date girls in a normal way. By the time you get old there will be nothing new to explore and you won’t have a clue how normal relationships work. Just a thought lol In fairness to the OP, the way people meet at 18 today is vastly different to the way it was when you were 18. " We still had bebo ! Not all that different ! Throw a heart someone’s direction and your already in the good graces | |||
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"Hello OP Firstly, you will need to accept some facts. Some people on here will have zero interest in meeting with you simply because of your age. Others will be rude to you because they are dismissive of your right to meet your way. Don't get into arguements over it; the world has changed and how people meet today is different to how it was 10 years ago, let alone 30 or 40. There is nothing you can do about your age, so don't fret. You shouldn't look on it as a negative, because for some potential meets your age is a selling point. Concentrate on finding the people that would like to meet a young man like you. Refine your search by ticking the "I must match their age requirements too" box. Also refine your search by age, distance etc. There is no point contacting people hundreds of miles away given your travel restrictions. Once you have those search results READ their profiles. It's such basic advice but so few follow it. Don't bother messaging those whose profile you don't meet. If it says they are looking for something that doesn't match who you are then that's not you so don't waste your time or theirs. Consider how you approach people, don't just write 'Hi', 'Fancy a chat' or any other generic one liner, It WILL get you ignored. Messaging like that doesn't work on Fab like it does with instant messaging services. Can you imagine writing Hi, waiting three days and then getting a msg back saying hi, to which you reply how are you and have to wait another three or four days for a reply? If you followed the advice above and read the persons profile then there should be some common ground to write about. Never be so crude as to send messages like 'Hey im free monday. Wanna come to my place and let me use that pussy?' You wouldn't say that sort of thing in person, so don't say it online. Now, providing you have sent a message that will entice them to look further they will 99% of the time look at your profile before responding. So now you have to sell yourself. Quite frankly you have had ten months to fill out your profile, but it still doesn't leap out of the screen at prospective meets. Your profile could be summed up as 'I don't know what I want, with whom, or what I offer'. It says nothing about you, and could be interpreted as 'I have nothing to say so you need to contact me', which I'm sure is not the impression you intended to make. We are a couple that do meet guys of your age, and one look at your profile would put us off from looking any further. Sadly, it is bland and doesn't stand out. It shows that you have taken no time whatsoever to use your profile to make a positive impression. Nobody knows you as well as you know you, and if you have nothing to say about yourself it could be interpreted as there is nothing worth saying about you. That's probably not true, but would you start a conversation in person with someone if you thought you would only get single word answers because they have nothing to say? Write something about you, what you have to offer, what your limits are etc. Basically - make people interested in you. As a single guy you are already fighting an uphill battle; as a young guy too your battle isn't uphill, its practically up a cliff! That doesn't mean you won't have any luck, but you really need to look at your profile, so as to ensure you make the best possible first impression. Dick pics are not the way to promote yourself, especially not as a profile pic if your trying to show your maturity. Everyone knows what a dick looks like, and believe it or not very few people actually want to look at row upon row of cocks when they look at a profile page. Your probably better off to leave your dick pics in your private file, if someone really wants to see it they will ask. Smiling face pics are invaluable. Next time it's a lovely day, get out and take some selfies somewhere nice, down on the Quay, in a park, the Cathedral etc. However your profile is not everything. Getting involved with the forums and the chatroom are both great ways of getting to know people with no pressure and no first time nerves. Rather than relying on a message, show your maturity and join in conversations, you never know someone might take an interest. When it's safe to do so... get off the site and meet people socially or try a club. You could always sign up to an organised social, where you may meet many people from the area, and perhaps make a better impression face to face than via the Internet. It might be a little nerve wracking the first time, but what harm can having a coffee or a pint with a stranger really do? Some will give you a chance, some won't, but we wish you luck " Perfect advice. It is hard for single guys. Getting a verification or 2 from social meets or in a club even if you don't get to play can work wonders. As has been said meeting in person can leave a completely different impression. I had a message deleted by someone I later met in a club & things went so well we actually ended up dating so when it's possible & safe get your self out there. | |||
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"Im a 18 year old fella who has had trouble finding meets on here. I cant work out whether its just me who has that problem or whether its every other guy as well. Id also love any advice to help me get some more meets Thanks in advance for any help H.S x" Some of the responses are harsh, but kind of true too. I'd change the pics, a dick shown from many angles won't get you anywhere show more of yourself, there's plenty of dicks to see on fab. Take out the I don't know what I'm doing, that's really off putting. Talk about your likes etc away from fab too, what kind of person are you, what are you looking for and what do you have to offer. Hope that's of some help, unfortunately with your age I think this site maybe hard for you to meet. | |||
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"Hello OP. I feel embarrassed by the harsh , rude and imo unnecessary comments directed at you.. I am delighted to see you have had a meet and got yourself a verification. Nothing more than you deserve after making yourself vulnerable by simply asking for guidance. Be yourself, make your own mistakes and find your way around this site, it is difficult not to take things personally and looking back at some of the comments, made by people old enough to know better.. Stick around if this is what you want, and I guarantee it will get better and easier for you. All the best " Agreed mate and you can look on my comments I wasn’t having a dig at this young man ! But some of the comments I feel weren’t directed at him just this scenario we see day in day out ! Yeah people should pay attention and this kid seems genuine but he’s one out of probably 10 we seen in 2 weeks and most of them are for attention off women ! Great advice by the way I ain’t knocking you but I also see where some of the negative comments came from ! pink gin waffles | |||
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"Im a 18 year old fella who has had trouble finding meets on here. I cant work out whether its just me who has that problem or whether its every other guy as well. Id also love any advice to help me get some more meets Thanks in advance for any help H.S x" Probably already been said but you've been a member for 11 months. So aside from all the usual supply and demand issues for single men, there has been a global pandemic. What were your expectations? | |||
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"You can accommodate / you can't accommodate, which is it ? You don't drive & you can travel ? You have no idea what you want. You have no idea what to do & want lessons. You are only 18 You have little chance of anyone bothering as you are too much work" Needlessly harsh. Maybe don’t be so mean to the lad. | |||
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"You can accommodate / you can't accommodate, which is it ? You don't drive & you can travel ? You have no idea what you want. You have no idea what to do & want lessons. You are only 18 You have little chance of anyone bothering as you are too much work" I'm sure he would not be interested in grafting for you fine specimens. Delusional to think so. Good look OP, just be you | |||
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