FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Should I contact them
Should I contact them
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By *rhuges OP Man
over a year ago
Cardiff |
A few weeks ago I got a wink from a couple that I'm sure are are genuine.
We swapped some messages and tenivaly agreed a meet but they said they may have to cancel due to family.
I messaged back saying absolutely understandable and fine. Contact me again when you're free.
They read the message but didn't post anything back at all.
Should I just know leave it or should I contact them again in a week or so if they haven't messaged me back? |
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I would message them but I'd give it a couple of weeks to a month, basically the longer the better so you don't seem pushy
So many times I've said to a guy from our couples profile that we'd be interested but not right now & they end up getting themselves blocked because everytime they see your online or have been online they'll message |
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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago
Whitley Bay |
I think it would be fine to message if you're wondering if they're still interested. It's nice to know sometimes where you stand.
A polite message is fine. If they don't reply, just move on. |
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"I think it would be fine to message if you're wondering if they're still interested. It's nice to know sometimes where you stand.
A polite message is fine. If they don't reply, just move on. "
This  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it would be fine to message if you're wondering if they're still interested. It's nice to know sometimes where you stand.
A polite message is fine. If they don't reply, just move on. "
I'm in agreement.
Or, a simple message stating you hope they are ok could be worth it.
Maybe gauge the response from that. |
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"I think it would be fine to message if you're wondering if they're still interested. It's nice to know sometimes where you stand.
A polite message is fine. If they don't reply, just move on. "
^ what freya said.  |
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By *rhuges OP Man
over a year ago
Cardiff |
I sent a short message asking if they wanted to set up an other meeting.
The message was read but two days later no response.
I'm assuming for some reason they have changed their mind. So why don't they just tell me ?? Rather than leaving me in suspense |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
"I sent a short message asking if they wanted to set up an other meeting.
The message was read but two days later no response.
I'm assuming for some reason they have changed their mind. So why don't they just tell me ?? Rather than leaving me in suspense"
But it’s not really suspense is it. No reply, not interested. Don’t turn it into suspense. Just make a note on their profile so you remember in future and move on.
V x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would message them but I'd give it a couple of weeks to a month, basically the longer the better so you don't seem pushy
So many times I've said to a guy from our couples profile that we'd be interested but not right now & they end up getting themselves blocked because everytime they see your online or have been online they'll message "
I think this is, by far, the best approach.
Messaging again too early makes you look like a pest.
Dropping them a line after about a month or so just to let them know that you're still interested while leaving the ball firmly in their court is fine |
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"I sent a short message asking if they wanted to set up an other meeting.
The message was read but two days later no response.
I'm assuming for some reason they have changed their mind. So why don't they just tell me ?? Rather than leaving me in suspense"
It’s common decency to let someone know if you’ve changed your mind and too many people on here think it’s fine to just ghost someone. Would you talk to someone in a pub then turn round and walk away in the middle of a conversation? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I sent a short message asking if they wanted to set up an other meeting.
The message was read but two days later no response.
I'm assuming for some reason they have changed their mind. So why don't they just tell me ?? Rather than leaving me in suspense
It’s common decency to let someone know if you’ve changed your mind and too many people on here think it’s fine to just ghost someone. Would you talk to someone in a pub then turn round and walk away in the middle of a conversation? "
I take it that you have not familiarised yourself with the site FAQ's and, in particular, what it says about a non-response |
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"I sent a short message asking if they wanted to set up an other meeting.
The message was read but two days later no response.
I'm assuming for some reason they have changed their mind. So why don't they just tell me ?? Rather than leaving me in suspense
It’s common decency to let someone know if you’ve changed your mind and too many people on here think it’s fine to just ghost someone. Would you talk to someone in a pub then turn round and walk away in the middle of a conversation? "
The problem with that is people don't accept a polite no, it's always followed by at least 3 or 4 messages trying to change your mind before they start getting abusive
Which is why it's best to ignore or block
It's a shame but doing the right thing isn't worth the hassle it attracts on here
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
"I sent a short message asking if they wanted to set up an other meeting.
The message was read but two days later no response.
I'm assuming for some reason they have changed their mind. So why don't they just tell me ?? Rather than leaving me in suspense
It’s common decency to let someone know if you’ve changed your mind and too many people on here think it’s fine to just ghost someone. Would you talk to someone in a pub then turn round and walk away in the middle of a conversation? "
I might do if I wasn’t enjoying the conversation. 
V x |
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"I sent a short message asking if they wanted to set up an other meeting.
The message was read but two days later no response.
I'm assuming for some reason they have changed their mind. So why don't they just tell me ?? Rather than leaving me in suspense
It’s common decency to let someone know if you’ve changed your mind and too many people on here think it’s fine to just ghost someone. Would you talk to someone in a pub then turn round and walk away in the middle of a conversation?
The problem with that is people don't accept a polite no, it's always followed by at least 3 or 4 messages trying to change your mind before they start getting abusive
Which is why it's best to ignore or block
It's a shame but doing the right thing isn't worth the hassle it attracts on here
"
Exactly this. If we are interested and talk to someone on here but the conversation goes cold from their side, we just leave it alone. They have their own life and we have no idea what's going on or if they have have changed their mind. They will contact us if they want to and if not, eventually we just take them off our freinds list.
If we are not interested when someone messages us, we just use block now. We used to respond no thanks then just delete the message but more often than not, it was just lead to someone getting the huff or not getting the hint and repeat messaging us.
It's easy to say it's common decency to respond but this is the internet and a lot of people behave like you are not a human being when they talk to you online on here. We are all strangers till we are not so, just dont push it and read the room.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A few weeks ago I got a wink from a couple that I'm sure are are genuine.
We swapped some messages and tenivaly agreed a meet but they said they may have to cancel due to family.
I messaged back saying absolutely understandable and fine. Contact me again when you're free.
They read the message but didn't post anything back at all.
Should I just know leave it or should I contact them again in a week or so if they haven't messaged me back?"
You could message just to say that you hope all is ok and everything worked out. Nothing else. Just be polite. |
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