FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Is there a guide to hosting social events?
Is there a guide to hosting social events?
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We have always been guests to these events rather than hosts but are thinking we could arrange a social event for our area later this year (distance easing allowing).
Are there any guides to make sure we dont mess things up? |
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"If you've been to plenty of events, then why not message the host, whose event you really enjoyed, as they will have plenty of questions and answers for you.
Flattery gets you everywhere,"
The very last one (pre lockdown) was at a club and some 50 miles from us. Prior to that just a couple of local social events in 2019. As far as we can tell, the person who organised them is no longer on fab.
Ergo, thinking of stepping up and arranging it ourselves rather than hoping someone else will.
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By *_Yeah19Couple
over a year ago
Lincoln |
Be selective with the venue, do you want to be amongst ‘normal’ punters or do you want a private hire scenario?
Decide if you are going to have filters/restrictions like age, single guys or not, verified only etc.
Do you want to organise any games/events or anything at it or just a basic social? All that will need planning too.
Ultimately be prepared to have to filter through a lot of messages, including some abusive ones  and to spend a lot of time on it. It’s not just book a venue, send a few messages then turn up and roll in the money as some people seem to think it is!
But once you’ve done all that, you can end up with a really fun night and it’s great to see people having a good time and even better if they meet people they like 
TB |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I orgasm the local social... I set a date, choose a random pub, get the interested to say hi on a forum thread (makes keeping track a bit easier), only send out info to whoever has confirmed, after being invited. All are told that if anyone gives out that info to randoms or just doesn't show up, without letting me know, won't get another invite... I think that's pretty much it... We meet up, have a drink, a laugh and the occasional boogie, done!  |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
Orgasm the local social? What would Freud say Ariel?
We were at the Northampton, social and we made good friends with another couple there.
It was you I was thinking of, when I said contact a host. |
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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago
Newry Down |
The biggest problem will be getting the MF balance correct; I think you should permit a situation that obtains in many US lifestyle parties whereby a couple, who are not actually in a permenent relationship to attend together, to assist the organiser to achieve a balance .
In American parlance, I think it is called, "taking sand to the beach...".
You don't want to end up with a ratio, similar to that which obtains on this site; mostly males.
Some of the best parties ask couples to make application and those chosen are only told, at the last minute, of the actual venue, in order to deter gatecrashers.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Orgasm the local social? What would Freud say Ariel?
We were at the Northampton, social and we made good friends with another couple there.
It was you I was thinking of, when I said contact a host."
Ohhh hahaha I didn't spot that! The orgasms are usually saved for afterwards!  *organise... Orgy came up that time but I caught it |
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By *jonesMan
over a year ago
Plymouth |
"The biggest problem will be getting the MF balance correct; I think you should permit a situation that obtains in many US lifestyle parties whereby a couple, who are not actually in a permenent relationship to attend together, to assist the organiser to achieve a balance .
In American parlance, I think it is called, "taking sand to the beach...".
You don't want to end up with a ratio, similar to that which obtains on this site; mostly males.
Some of the best parties ask couples to make application and those chosen are only told, at the last minute, of the actual venue, in order to deter gatecrashers.
"
I have organised some large socials in Birmingham. I found some classy venues, public but we had our own area, free, I left a deposit which was refunded if we made a certain headcount.
Managing the guest list and keeping it private were the biggest challenges. We (I have a couples profile as well with a lady that helps me) found we had loads of couples and single ladies (100 plus attendees ) and whilst a lot of single guys expressed interest...the fall out rate was high...so keep a big reserve list.
In fact keeping a good reserve list is important in general as people couples etc fall away, keep it as an option and then change their mind ...be strict on that no shows dont get a second chance..
Maintain a strict guest list and welcome people as they arrive, the venues were such that guests had to pass thro a barrier, to get in so could control random walk ins or gate crashes.
Area for music and area to chat...
It's exhausting hosting but good fun. So much better than trying to meet people via messaging.
Good luck |
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By *jonesMan
over a year ago
Plymouth |
"Don’t forget as organisers of events you should have insurance "
If it's a gathering in a public bar/pub, I don't think there is a 'duty of care' to the extent that you as a host would need to worry about insurance ...the venue..yes for sure...not something that ever crossed my mind to be honest .. |
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By *likat50Woman
over a year ago
london /bracklesham bay |
Agree with a lot of what’s been said here. Balance is key and have two or three reliable people who can act as bouncers so if people are out of order you can get rid of them. Fall out rate with guys is high. Have a list but by the end of the day of the social it’s hard to maintain it.
I write down everyone’s name who attends for verifications. They are really important x |
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Well, thank you all for the feedback.
We have an idea of what to expect and some does and donts. We shall sit on this till the 21st and decide what direction we want to go in coupled with what we are capable of hosting. A big bash might be more than we can handle but we will work it out. |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"Don’t forget as organisers of events you should have insurance
If it's a gathering in a public bar/pub, I don't think there is a 'duty of care' to the extent that you as a host would need to worry about insurance ...the venue..yes for sure...not something that ever crossed my mind to be honest .."
You would need public liability insurance if running an organised event. A meet up as friends in a bar is different but hiring a venue you would. I’ve been running events (not swinging) for years |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"Orgasm the local social? What would Freud say Ariel?
We were at the Northampton, social and we made good friends with another couple there.
It was you I was thinking of, when I said contact a host.
Ohhh hahaha I didn't spot that! The orgasms are usually saved for afterwards! *organise... Orgy came up that time but I caught it "
You can have as many orgasms as you like. We're all adults here, not necessarily grown up though.
 |
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Hi, we ran our first ever social last September. Worked really well, unfortunately covid then stopped our plans for the next. Currently in the process of planning again. Feel free to message us with any questions you may have x |
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"We have always been guests to these events rather than hosts but are thinking we could arrange a social event for our area later this year (distance easing allowing).
Are there any guides to make sure we dont mess things up?"
Rule 1 is you have to invite NYCSausage. This is none negotiable. And there has to be at least one female there for him.
I don’t make the rules, I copied it verbatim from the “dummies guide to hosting a party” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Orgasm the local social? What would Freud say Ariel?
We were at the Northampton, social and we made good friends with another couple there.
It was you I was thinking of, when I said contact a host.
Ohhh hahaha I didn't spot that! The orgasms are usually saved for afterwards! *organise... Orgy came up that time but I caught it
You can have as many orgasms as you like. We're all adults here, not necessarily grown up though.
"
God no! Who needs that trap!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi, we ran our first ever social last September. Worked really well, unfortunately covid then stopped our plans for the next. Currently in the process of planning again. Feel free to message us with any questions you may have x"
My last one was meant to happen the first weekend of feckin lockdown... Was gutted cause it looked like it was going to be better tgan the one before and that was bloody packed and great! |
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I see the advice above is to find a venue first but we did it the other way round. Gauge interest and then find a venue. That way you can pick the right venue for the number you expect to attend.
Don't forget that out of 100 single guys that say they want to attend you'll be lucky if 10 turn up. The number for single women is a lot better though, as is the figure for couples.
The big problem is contacting people to let them know what is happening. Fab doesn't allow you to message more than one person at once, for understandable reasons, so you could end up sending a lot of messages. We set up this profile to keep track of who was interested, if they are on our friends list here then we know it's about the social.
Not everyone uses the forums, some will show interest from a message on your status, some from the forums and some from word of mouth so a Forum thread might reach 75% of those interested but you need a way to contact the rest.
Oh, and don't release the venue info until just before if it is in a public place or all sorts of weirdos will turn up |
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Oh and I should have said, you can't please everybody. People will tell you that the date you have picked clashes with their work, a football match, their cats appointment at the vets etc. etc. Just stick to the date |
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Would any other social organisers be interested in making a kik or whatsapp group to keep one another updated of dates (so we try not to clash!) or important updates (ie. anyone you’ve had to Chuck out) etc? Or tips etc.
Please give us a nudge if you do xx
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"Would any other social organisers be interested in making a kik or whatsapp group to keep one another updated of dates (so we try not to clash!) or important updates (ie. anyone you’ve had to Chuck out) etc? Or tips etc.
Please give us a nudge if you do xx
"
We would be interested in a Whatsapp group.
(oops wrong profile we are Norwich Social) |
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"The biggest problem will be getting the MF balance correct; I think you should permit a situation that obtains in many US lifestyle parties whereby a couple, who are not actually in a permenent relationship to attend together, to assist the organiser to achieve a balance .
In American parlance, I think it is called, "taking sand to the beach...".
You don't want to end up with a ratio, similar to that which obtains on this site; mostly males.
Some of the best parties ask couples to make application and those chosen are only told, at the last minute, of the actual venue, in order to deter gatecrashers.
I have organised some large socials in Birmingham. I found some classy venues, public but we had our own area, free, I left a deposit which was refunded if we made a certain headcount.
Managing the guest list and keeping it private were the biggest challenges. We (I have a couples profile as well with a lady that helps me) found we had loads of couples and single ladies (100 plus attendees ) and whilst a lot of single guys expressed interest...the fall out rate was high...so keep a big reserve list.
In fact keeping a good reserve list is important in general as people couples etc fall away, keep it as an option and then change their mind ...be strict on that no shows dont get a second chance..
Maintain a strict guest list and welcome people as they arrive, the venues were such that guests had to pass thro a barrier, to get in so could control random walk ins or gate crashes.
Area for music and area to chat...
It's exhausting hosting but good fun. So much better than trying to meet people via messaging.
Good luck "
We loved the social you arranged & can’t wait for the next one
J x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Agree with a lot of what’s been said here. Balance is key and have two or three reliable people who can act as bouncers so if people are out of order you can get rid of them. Fall out rate with guys is high. Have a list but by the end of the day of the social it’s hard to maintain it.
I write down everyone’s name who attends for verifications. They are really important x"
Ali runs a very good social with the right mix of males couples and single ladies  |
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