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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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ive chatted loads on site and ive narrowed it down too a few decent gies but im afraid to take it further as a girl has to be safe any advice from u expriuenced swingers xx |
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By *ewboy01Man
over a year ago
Barrow in Furness |
Whilst I'm not overly experienced I'd still recommend having a social meet first, somewhere very public where you can weigh each other up.
Next time, a hotel maybe. Still keeps it relatively "public". Wouldn't invite to your house or go to theirs till you know them.
Don't know if every one else agrees though |
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The 1st meet doesnt have to end up in bed-meet in a public place for coffee and a chat, so you can guage what a guy is like. The decent ones will understand.
Always have a friend who can call you 10 -20 minutes into this meet,or the next one when you decide to take things further, just so youre safe.
Make sure they know where you are if not at yours,and what to do in an emergency |
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If you take it further on the first meet, or indeed any meet, I always try to take a mental note of the number plate if they are driving, and text it to a friend, who knows what I am doing.
I always safe text my nominated friend.
But most importantly I always meet for a social drink first, if any of my instincts shout at me, then I stay well away, I rely on my gut feelings, and they've only steered me wrong once, in almost 8 years of doing this.
You will get more confident the more you meet, but still use your natural instincts. |
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"yep i think its a matter of letting someone know where i am"
Definitely. Always do this. If you don't have someone you feel you can trust with sharing this then at least leave a note on your kitchen table detailing who you're meeting, their phone number, etc... so that when the police kick your doors down they'll find it but you can bin it assuming everything went fine. |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
I have a friend who I text profile name and where I'm going and I leave my laptop logged on on the person's profile with a yellow sticky on the screen saying "It was him/her/them" (well the post it's a joke, but I do leave my lappie on the profile) while I'm out/away......I have had hotel meets as a first meet which have led to play and I've invited guys to mine also.....only ever had one problem at home and that was years ago off another site and my selection criteria and wanker radar has improved significantly since then.....go with a social in a public place and let a friend know where you are is the best advice you'll get I reckon....either before or when you meet the person, ask them if they mind you texting their car reg to your safety friend.....if they say no, then think carefully about staying.....
Good luck and let us know how you get on  |
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I always ask for a face pic - so I'll recognise my meet.
Then I arrange to meet in a cafe (not a pub as alcohol can be tricky). I have a small selection of preferred places that are easy enough for me to reach - so if I get let down I haven't gone far. They are busy places with quiet corners where we can chat and not be overheard, but where there are plenty of people in case it goes a bit pear shaped - a cafe at a shopping centre can be good as you can disappear into the crowds fairly easily.
If I do decide to take things further on the first meet then I have a safety friend who I can text details of user name, address etc. I would never get into their car.
Also arrange a time by which your friend should hear from you before they need to dig out the baseball bat.
If you don't have a friend to do this with you can always call your own answerphone and leave the details on there - step away a little, but make it clear that you are doing this, most swingers are deeply trustworthy but it only takes one...
If you choose to invite people home, make sure their details are somewhere - an email to your own account if you don't have a safety friend.
And the note on the kitchen table/fridge is great when going to theirs.
Oh, and don't be afraid to be straightforward if you don't wish to take things further then a coffee. Don't be mean or cruel, a simple "I've enjoyed meeting you but I don't think we'll be playing" and if asked why "I'm just not feeling the spark". It's always best face to face, that way you can make sure that there are no hard feelings and that you part on good terms.
Offer to verify anyone who you feel that someone else would get on with, but don't feel obliged to - but if they were nice, on time and had good hygiene and manners then they will suit someone and it will take the sting out of a refusal.
And don't be afraid to make it clear that you have safety procedures - it can be what discourages someone from taking a step down a bad path if they know this.
Take the opportunity of the coffee meet to set out any no-nos for a play meet. eg condoms, anal, kissing.
But above all, remember to enjoy yourself! |
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That's true... I would never object to someone saying they had to make a quick phone call or send a text message to confirm they weren't in any danger. Somebody that would be offended by this clearly has issues. |
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Oh and I also don't give my number out until I've met someone.
When I say I'll be there then that's where I am. I have a smartphone so I can check for last minute messages.
If someone is not OK with that then I don't meet them and move on to the next.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Joking aside the thingssome people do on here is nuts, just inviting randoms to their hourse, it's teh kinda thing you'd be screaming at the TV during a horror movie "what are you a f**king moron"  |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"Whilst I'm not overly experienced I'd still recommend having a social meet first, somewhere very public where you can weigh each other up.
Next time, a hotel maybe. Still keeps it relatively "public". Wouldn't invite to your house or go to theirs till you know them.
Don't know if every one else agrees though"
good advice
welcome both of you
have fun |
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