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Looking for advice
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Question for the ladies and female parts of couples of fab.
How can I show my man how hot he is? He says the woman I and he both find attractive he doesn’t stand a change with and I need to lower my expectations of women who would find him attractive. He says he knows his worth and hot women aren’t interested in him as he’s just some fat hairy bloke and won’t talk with a lot of the women because in his mind she’s already rejected him.
This baffles me as obviously I think he's amazing, we all have different tastes and personality plays a huge part, but in the world of fab photos etc I would love to know how to increase his confidence.
Mocha |
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Is he the man in your photos if so he looks pretty good from what I can see?
Not sure how you increase the confidence of someone with low self esteem. How do you think the women he agrees to contact will feel knowing you've lowered your standards to meet them? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is he the man in your photos if so he looks pretty good from what I can see?
Not sure how you increase the confidence of someone with low self esteem. How do you think the women he agrees to contact will feel knowing you've lowered your standards to meet them? "
I see what your saying, I'd never chat to anyone I didn't find attractive, that's a big thing for me, no standards lowering  I just don't understand where he is coming from really to try and help x
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"Is he the man in your photos if so he looks pretty good from what I can see?
Not sure how you increase the confidence of someone with low self esteem. How do you think the women he agrees to contact will feel knowing you've lowered your standards to meet them?
I see what your saying, I'd never chat to anyone I didn't find attractive, that's a big thing for me, no standards lowering I just don't understand where he is coming from really to try and help x
"
My personal opinion is that if someone believes they aren't good enough or don't feel they deserve to meet very attractive people you're not going to change that. There's a lot of people on fab who feel the same way. Does he feel he's not good enough for you? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is he the man in your photos if so he looks pretty good from what I can see?
Not sure how you increase the confidence of someone with low self esteem. How do you think the women he agrees to contact will feel knowing you've lowered your standards to meet them?
I see what your saying, I'd never chat to anyone I didn't find attractive, that's a big thing for me, no standards lowering I just don't understand where he is coming from really to try and help x
My personal opinion is that if someone believes they aren't good enough or don't feel they deserve to meet very attractive people you're not going to change that. There's a lot of people on fab who feel the same way. Does he feel he's not good enough for you?"
He says he's punching above his weight with me and is very lucky to have me, I disagree he's great, but I think your right, I don't think I'm going to be able to change his mind unfortunately.
If only I could have him see what I do.
Thank you for your reply x |
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Wow ,ithink he looks great and a lovely cock ,take it from the female of an older couple who's hubby is an old fat man (his words ) ??your Hubby has nothing to worry about ,mine is bi but does say its me that draws the guys ,but I don't entertain anyone who feels that way ,chosen the right person is key ,good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd say he's nothing to worry about and you should definitely let him see the comments on here.
Unfortunately confidence comes from within. "
Thank you, I will show him x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Wow ,ithink he looks great and a lovely cock ,take it from the female of an older couple who's hubby is an old fat man (his words ) ??your Hubby has nothing to worry about ,mine is bi but does say its me that draws the guys ,but I don't entertain anyone who feels that way ,chosen the right person is key ,good luck x "
Thank you for your reply, I don't think they see what we do at times. X |
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"Not sure how you increase the confidence of someone with low self esteem."
Going to a social or a club just socially would help.
There they find people with better or worse bodies than them, all willing to chat without judgment.
That is a great place to start. Confidence can then begin to grow |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not sure how you increase the confidence of someone with low self esteem.
Going to a social or a club just socially would help.
There they find people with better or worse bodies than them, all willing to chat without judgment.
That is a great place to start. Confidence can then begin to grow "
Actually this makes a lot of sense, I do think it's partly lack of experience and a previous bad relationship that has him doubting himself x |
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"Actually this makes a lot of sense, I do think it's partly lack of experience and a previous bad relationship that has him doubting himself x"
I posted from the wrong profile but thank you for agreeing.
As half of the STP hosting team, I have met a very large number of people who found just socialising with like minded people gave them a confidence boost for sing Fab |
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By *olo_89Couple
over a year ago
Kettering |
In all honesty confidence comes from within and he needs to realise his worth, from the male half here I am bigger than him and its more about his personality and not his looks that landed him with you hence it will work with other women too. Looks not important its all about the person helped me loads when I realised it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not sure how you increase the confidence of someone with low self esteem.
Going to a social or a club just socially would help.
There they find people with better or worse bodies than them, all willing to chat without judgment.
That is a great place to start. Confidence can then begin to grow "
This is fantastic advice going to clubs and seeing that swingers come in all shapes and sizes and it matters not a jot is really helpful in this situation. I the male had a few issues in terms of my own confidence in the past but going to clubs really helped me build my confidence right up.
KJ |
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By * Plus ECouple
over a year ago
The South |
"Question for the ladies and female parts of couples of fab.
How can I show my man how hot he is? He says the woman I and he both find attractive he doesn’t stand a change with and I need to lower my expectations of women who would find him attractive. He says he knows his worth and hot women aren’t interested in him as he’s just some fat hairy bloke and won’t talk with a lot of the women because in his mind she’s already rejected him.
This baffles me as obviously I think he's amazing, we all have different tastes and personality plays a huge part, but in the world of fab photos etc I would love to know how to increase his confidence.
Mocha "
The man in your pictures I gather from the thread...
From what I can see........ he looks 
E |
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"Question for the ladies and female parts of couples of fab.
How can I show my man how hot he is? He says the woman I and he both find attractive he doesn’t stand a change with and I need to lower my expectations of women who would find him attractive. He says he knows his worth and hot women aren’t interested in him as he’s just some fat hairy bloke and won’t talk with a lot of the women because in his mind she’s already rejected him.
This baffles me as obviously I think he's amazing, we all have different tastes and personality plays a huge part, but in the world of fab photos etc I would love to know how to increase his confidence.
Mocha "
I know where he’s coming from. I constantly think I’m not good enough for the people I’m speaking to, yet earlier today I received a message that basically read “You know how honoured I am that you're even interested with a face as pretty as yours”
I was definitely taken aback. This girl is beautiful and I know she’s very popular on the forums and she’s saying that to this little old, fat hairy bastard?!?!?
I still don’t know how to genuinely take a compliment like that. In my head she’s just being nice  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is he the man in your photos if so he looks pretty good from what I can see?
Not sure how you increase the confidence of someone with low self esteem. How do you think the women he agrees to contact will feel knowing you've lowered your standards to meet them?
I see what your saying, I'd never chat to anyone I didn't find attractive, that's a big thing for me, no standards lowering I just don't understand where he is coming from really to try and help x
My personal opinion is that if someone believes they aren't good enough or don't feel they deserve to meet very attractive people you're not going to change that. There's a lot of people on fab who feel the same way. Does he feel he's not good enough for you?
He says he's punching above his weight with me and is very lucky to have me, I disagree he's great, but I think your right, I don't think I'm going to be able to change his mind unfortunately.
If only I could have him see what I do.
Thank you for your reply x"
Worth pointing out that if he's right, and he's punching, he managed to pull someone he thought was out of his league! If he can do it once........
Hopefully he's just modest and not at all arrogant, and that's how it manifests itself.
We have been through phases of thinking we couldn't message or talk to people because they looked too hot, or seemed too experienced. It took a while to realise that the only bit we have control over, is who we find attractive. If you can accept that the people you look at will do the same, and you don't know what they find attractive yet, you'll be a lot more relaxed about it!
Btw, you're on our hotlist! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" . . . I just don't understand where he is coming from really to try and help x
"
This is what a lot of men deal with all the time from us ladies - we criticise our bodies incessantly. Interesting to see it from another angle.
I agree with the others - your husband has a great body! It's not your job (or within your ability) to convince him though. Unfortunately, low self-esteem is a hard battle for anyone that suffers from it. All you can do is affirm him - once you get out more in the scene though he'll be a hot commodity and that'll boost his self-esteem, slowly but surely. |
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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago
Derbyshire village |
Breaking the rule in the OP - Mr. Here.
He looks great! But I get it.
It took Mrs. CC rather a while to convince me, not that anyone would find me attractive, but that SHE DID. I guess I figured that if I thought she was hot, even though I may not have been able to put it into many words, or a sonnet, then I can see how the tables were turned.
It's difficult for guys (as it is for women and however one identifies) what with the media portrayal of "MAN" or whatever. I might suggest counseling or similar but I have no experience in that I'm afrai
I hope he learns to view himself as you view him (or at least blag his brain into believing it)!
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Breaking the rule in the OP - Mr. Here.
He looks great! But I get it.
It took Mrs. CC rather a while to convince me, not that anyone would find me attractive, but that SHE DID. I guess I figured that if I thought she was hot, even though I may not have been able to put it into many words, or a sonnet, then I can see how the tables were turned.
It's difficult for guys (as it is for women and however one identifies) what with the media portrayal of "MAN" or whatever. I might suggest counseling or similar but I have no experience in that I'm afrai
I hope he learns to view himself as you view him (or at least blag his brain into believing it)!
"
Thank you, it's quite good to see it from a male perspective. |
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