FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Messaging etiquette advice
Messaging etiquette advice
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all. I’m relatively new here. It’s great to see so many people going out of their way to offer support and advice. Sure everyone in my position is very grateful. Wondered if anyone could offer some guidance on messaging etiquette. Appreciate that a deleted message is a definite ‘no thanks’, but what about when a message is read, but not responded to? Hardly a ringing endorsement, I know, but is it considered OK to make a friend request on that basis? Seems like most woman are pestered to distraction on here and I don’t want to add to the bombardment. Clearly the best way to meet people is at socials, but in the meantime… |
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"Treat all messages that go unanswered, opened, unopened or deleted the same way. As a no thanks. I wouldn't advise sending a friend request on the strength of a message not being deleted. "
I second this! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Treat all messages that go unanswered, opened, unopened or deleted the same way. As a no thanks. I wouldn't advise sending a friend request on the strength of a message not being deleted.
I second this! "
Me too . Don't send a friend request. Wait until you have chatted a while or if they suggest it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi there all, we are a couple who are recently new to this site and the swinging scene. We were wondering is there any advice 4hat would be useful to us? We are new to the forum aswell so come say hello!x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Also welcome to the forum  . "
Thank you . There's a lot to learn, but there seem to be a lot of sound, non-judgemental people on here, which makes a nice change from the rogue sites that blitz you with 'Agnes from Hassocks has just sent you a message, subscribe here to connect with her' type stuff... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Treat all messages that go unanswered, opened, unopened or deleted the same way. As a no thanks. I wouldn't advise sending a friend request on the strength of a message not being deleted.
I second this!
Me too . Don't send a friend request. Wait until you have chatted a while or if they suggest it."
Much appreciated advice. Cheers.  |
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"Hi there all, we are a couple who are recently new to this site and the swinging scene. We were wondering is there any advice 4hat would be useful to us? We are new to the forum aswell so come say hello!x"
Make your own post |
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"...what about when a message is read, but not responded to? Hardly a ringing endorsement, I know, but is it considered OK to make a friend request on that basis? Seems like most woman are pestered to distraction on here and I don’t want to add to the bombardment. "
I'd say that counts as 'pestering to distraction', or at least the beginning of it! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"...what about when a message is read, but not responded to? Hardly a ringing endorsement, I know, but is it considered OK to make a friend request on that basis? Seems like most woman are pestered to distraction on here and I don’t want to add to the bombardment.
I'd say that counts as 'pestering to distraction', or at least the beginning of it!"
Well, I won't be doing that then. Thanks for the advice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Treat all messages that go unanswered, opened, unopened or deleted the same way. As a no thanks. I wouldn't advise sending a friend request on the strength of a message not being deleted.
I second this!
Me too . Don't send a friend request. Wait until you have chatted a while or if they suggest it.
Much appreciated advice. Cheers. "
You are very welcome. Have a look at the bottom of my bio there's a copy and paste link to some great advice for single guys on fab. It's well worth the read
Happy fabbing |
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"Also welcome to the forum .
Thank you . There's a lot to learn, but there seem to be a lot of sound, non-judgemental people on here, which makes a nice change from the rogue sites that blitz you with 'Agnes from Hassocks has just sent you a message, subscribe here to connect with her' type stuff..."
That flaming Agnes! She gets everywhere  |
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"Hi there all, we are a couple who are recently new to this site and the swinging scene. We were wondering is there any advice 4hat would be useful to us? We are new to the forum aswell so come say hello!x"
Welcome.
If you start a thread in the introduction section I'm sure people will be along to answer you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Treat all messages that go unanswered, opened, unopened or deleted the same way. As a no thanks. I wouldn't advise sending a friend request on the strength of a message not being deleted.
I second this!
Me too . Don't send a friend request. Wait until you have chatted a while or if they suggest it.
Much appreciated advice. Cheers.
You are very welcome. Have a look at the bottom of my bio there's a copy and paste link to some great advice for single guys on fab. It's well worth the read
Happy fabbing "
Thank you! |
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"but is it considered OK to make a friend request on that basis"
No way. Would you go up to a stranger in the street and say "would you be my friend?"
It's a as weird on here as out there. Unless one is a Facebook fan and thinks friends are just 'likes' |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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""but is it considered OK to make a friend request on that basis"
No way. Would you go up to a stranger in the street and say "would you be my friend?"
It's a as weird on here as out there. Unless one is a Facebook fan and thinks friends are just 'likes' "
Your mention of social media was what I was driving at, really, where there are varying levels of acceptable engagement. That's sound advice. Thank you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all. I’m relatively new here. It’s great to see so many people going out of their way to offer support and advice. Sure everyone in my position is very grateful. Wondered if anyone could offer some guidance on messaging etiquette. Appreciate that a deleted message is a definite ‘no thanks’, but what about when a message is read, but not responded to? Hardly a ringing endorsement, I know, but is it considered OK to make a friend request on that basis? Seems like most woman are pestered to distraction on here and I don’t want to add to the bombardment. Clearly the best way to meet people is at socials, but in the meantime… "
Once you've sent a message just delete it. That way you won't be sitting there umm'ing and ahh'ing on what to do next |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hi all. I’m relatively new here. It’s great to see so many people going out of their way to offer support and advice. Sure everyone in my position is very grateful. Wondered if anyone could offer some guidance on messaging etiquette. Appreciate that a deleted message is a definite ‘no thanks’, but what about when a message is read, but not responded to? Hardly a ringing endorsement, I know, but is it considered OK to make a friend request on that basis? Seems like most woman are pestered to distraction on here and I don’t want to add to the bombardment. Clearly the best way to meet people is at socials, but in the meantime…
Once you've sent a message just delete it. That way you won't be sitting there umm'ing and ahh'ing on what to do next"
That's really good advice. Thank you. |
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"I kind of agree the unreplied messages the unread ones should be taken as a no but a simple no thanks wouldn't hurt would it "
There are only 75 messages shown per inbox. Any number of unread ones can be on the unseen pages. |
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"That's good to know - thank you "
I'd also add if you do get the sound of silence from someone assume they aren't interested. So avoid messaging them again by blocking them there and then
Sounds a bit extreme but it's a good system I think
Good luck OP |
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Definitely not a good idea to send a request if they haven't responded.
Main tipe we'd say is messaging them as what they are. So address a couple as a couple as so many seem to assume it's one person talking. |
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