FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > First time club visit
First time club visit
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi I’m looking to go to a swinger club for the first when they re open.
Always wanted to go to one but I’m a single guy and didn’t want to turn up like Billy no mates but now thinking sod it you only live once give it a go...
So I’m hoping someone can recommend one to go to for a first timer.
I live in Essex so Essex , Kent , London I’d appreciate any advice. |
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You have a rare opportunity to get yourself to just a social event at a swingers club. So you can see what it is about and, hopefully, make some friends without any potential added pressure.
There is BBQ at Lux Lounge (on the grounds of VA, near Sandy) on Bank Holiday Monday. Everyone is welcome, no limits on single men (apparently).
Clubs closer to London- Le Boudoir, OurPlaceForFun, AbFabs/Kestrels near Heathrow, Eureka in Kent. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You have a rare opportunity to get yourself to just a social event at a swingers club. So you can see what it is about and, hopefully, make some friends without any potential added pressure.
There is BBQ at Lux Lounge (on the grounds of VA, near Sandy) on Bank Holiday Monday. Everyone is welcome, no limits on single men (apparently).
Clubs closer to London- Le Boudoir, OurPlaceForFun, AbFabs/Kestrels near Heathrow, Eureka in Kent. "
Great thanks for that I’ll take a look
X |
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By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
Do yourself a favour. Find someone to meet there or go with someone.
If you don't you could potentially spend all night being snubbed by those you try to converse with, and end up bored and fed up.
And you will have spent something like 80 quid for this delightful experience.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do yourself a favour. Find someone to meet there or go with someone.
If you don't you could potentially spend all night being snubbed by those you try to converse with, and end up bored and fed up.
And you will have spent something like 80 quid for this delightful experience.
"
Cheers buddy maybe I’ll try and find a partner in crime... |
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"Do yourself a favour. Find someone to meet there or go with someone.
If you don't you could potentially spend all night being snubbed by those you try to converse with, and end up bored and fed up.
And you will have spent something like 80 quid for this delightful experience.
"
Seconded  I would never recommend the club scene to a mate (based on my experiences), but can confirm, you will be better welcomed in the company of a female |
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Definitely find someone to meet there. Be careful about going in with someone, it may seem attractive to go in together as a couple (it's usually cheaper for couples than single guys, and often couples don't have to book in advance). You don't want to be seen to be twisting the rules to suit. Be open about it, book in advance, pay your fee. You'll be respected for it more in the long run. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Definitely find someone to meet there. Be careful about going in with someone, it may seem attractive to go in together as a couple (it's usually cheaper for couples than single guys, and often couples don't have to book in advance). You don't want to be seen to be twisting the rules to suit. Be open about it, book in advance, pay your fee. You'll be respected for it more in the long run."
Ive been with friends as a couple what the issue. Are there rules to say you can’t. If there is I’ve never come across them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The single guys that are most "successful" at clubs are the ones that make an effort and go regularly. You get out what you put in.
Most women do not want to babysit a guy that they do not already know - why would I risk my membership at a club by taking a stranger with me who then might act like a complete dick? I go solo or with people I already know, so I am free to do as I like at the club - I don't want to be stuck with a nervous newbie who is expecting a guaranteed orgy with my friends  Nor am I up for saving someone a few quid so they can get in cheaper.
There are plenty of single women that go to clubs, many with other girlfriends. I've been to nights where there are more women than men! It's not always the cockfest that the regular forum moaners complain about.
Go along, mingle, make some friends, and don't start talking about sex straight away when you are chatting to people.
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"Definitely find someone to meet there. Be careful about going in with someone, it may seem attractive to go in together as a couple (it's usually cheaper for couples than single guys, and often couples don't have to book in advance). You don't want to be seen to be twisting the rules to suit. Be open about it, book in advance, pay your fee. You'll be respected for it more in the long run.
Ive been with friends as a couple what the issue. Are there rules to say you can’t. If there is I’ve never come across them. "
You're not doing yourself any favours as you're lying about being together "as a couple" to beat the system of keeping the number of single guys down in a club, or to try and pay a lower entry fee. If you're going to play with each other or together as a couple then that's cool, but to get in, maybe have a chat then go your separate ways isn't. |
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By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
"Definitely find someone to meet there. Be careful about going in with someone, it may seem attractive to go in together as a couple (it's usually cheaper for couples than single guys, and often couples don't have to book in advance). You don't want to be seen to be twisting the rules to suit. Be open about it, book in advance, pay your fee. You'll be respected for it more in the long run.
Ive been with friends as a couple what the issue. Are there rules to say you can’t. If there is I’ve never come across them. "
.I you are a bloke the rules are strict as a woman pretty much anything goes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Definitely find someone to meet there. Be careful about going in with someone, it may seem attractive to go in together as a couple (it's usually cheaper for couples than single guys, and often couples don't have to book in advance). You don't want to be seen to be twisting the rules to suit. Be open about it, book in advance, pay your fee. You'll be respected for it more in the long run.
Ive been with friends as a couple what the issue. Are there rules to say you can’t. If there is I’ve never come across them.
You're not doing yourself any favours as you're lying about being together "as a couple" to beat the system of keeping the number of single guys down in a club, or to try and pay a lower entry fee. If you're going to play with each other or together as a couple then that's cool, but to get in, maybe have a chat then go your separate ways isn't."
I’ve never done it just to get a man in. |
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By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
"The single guys that are most "successful" at clubs are the ones that make an effort and go regularly. You get out what you put in.
Most women do not want to babysit a guy that they do not already know - why would I risk my membership at a club by taking a stranger with me who then might act like a complete dick? I go solo or with people I already know, so I am free to do as I like at the club - I don't want to be stuck with a nervous newbie who is expecting a guaranteed orgy with my friends Nor am I up for saving someone a few quid so they can get in cheaper.
There are plenty of single women that go to clubs, many with other girlfriends. I've been to nights where there are more women than men! It's not always the cockfest that the regular forum moaners complain about.
Go along, mingle, make some friends, and don't start talking about sex straight away when you are chatting to people.
I don't expect a Cockfest as you elegantly put it.
My advice put so that you have at least someone to talk to. If the person you are with goes off to play that's fine.
I have attended clubs alone as a single man and its always an uphill battle evwn if yiu go regularly which at the single male prices is hard to do, if you don't have a bottomless wallet.
I have chatted to a few people who prefer to meet at a club and it was a better experience. Not because I played but because I had a friendly face there. Going into this lifestyle is a nerve wracking experience. More so as a single whatever gender you are.
My advice is based on experience,not forum moaning as again you eloquently put it.
I attended the old sex maniacs ball back in the early 2000s On invitation of a couple I was with when I was with them people came up and chatted to us. They left early and I stayed on for longer alone. The difference was startling. I instantly became persona non grata wvwn by people I chatted with happily when inwas with my friends.
It's not moaning it's hard earned lessons based on experience.
"
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"The single guys that are most "successful" at clubs are the ones that make an effort and go regularly. You get out what you put in.
Most women do not want to babysit a guy that they do not already know - why would I risk my membership at a club by taking a stranger with me who then might act like a complete dick? I go solo or with people I already know, so I am free to do as I like at the club - I don't want to be stuck with a nervous newbie who is expecting a guaranteed orgy with my friends Nor am I up for saving someone a few quid so they can get in cheaper.
There are plenty of single women that go to clubs, many with other girlfriends. I've been to nights where there are more women than men! It's not always the cockfest that the regular forum moaners complain about.
Go along, mingle, make some friends, and don't start talking about sex straight away when you are chatting to people.
"
This, very much so! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You have a rare opportunity to get yourself to just a social event at a swingers club. So you can see what it is about and, hopefully, make some friends without any potential added pressure.
There is BBQ at Lux Lounge (on the grounds of VA, near Sandy) on Bank Holiday Monday. Everyone is welcome, no limits on single men (apparently).
Clubs closer to London- Le Boudoir, OurPlaceForFun, AbFabs/Kestrels near Heathrow, Eureka in Kent. "
Great, a BBQ where there will be no shortage of sausages  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pleasures is a great club for newbies.. couples and single guys alike.
We'd happily say hello if we saw you
Where is pleasures ?
Thanks"
Just outside maidstone. It's on the club reviews and a great place to go |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Pleasures is a great club for newbies.. couples and single guys alike.
We'd happily say hello if we saw you
Where is pleasures ?
Thanks
Just outside maidstone. It's on the club reviews and a great place to go"
Oh that’s not a million miles away from me I’ll take a look.
I’m not sure when everything opens up again.
Thanks again x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"our place 4 fun is not far from you, just off the a406 near bounds green, "
Oh that’s not far away I’ll take a look.
Go a few to look at now
Now need to try and find a partner in crime or just grow small balls and go for it...
Thanks x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm hoping to get to a club but as a single woman it's pretty nerve wracking. Ive seen some clubs do meet & greet type things where you can be shown around beforehand etc, is this something people would recommend ? Also, and this will sound silly, but what do people wear ?  |
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"I'm hoping to get to a club but as a single woman it's pretty nerve wracking. Ive seen some clubs do meet & greet type things where you can be shown around beforehand etc, is this something people would recommend ? Also, and this will sound silly, but what do people wear ? "
As far as we are aware, all clubs do meet and greet for new members. It's a way of both showing them around the club, but also a way of informing the newcomers about the club rules.
What people wear depends on the club and event. There are 3 main types of club:
1) night-club like- you come in dress as sexy as you dare but you remain fully dressed until you choose to play or use wet facilities
2) spa-based or dress down club- as soon as you get in, you are expected to dress down- wear a towel, sexy lingerie, dressing gown or similar; or just your birthday suit
3) a combination of the 2 above- you have the main area of the club- normally the bar and the dance floor- as dress up (as sexy as you dare). Then, when you proceed to the other part of the club, you dress down to lingerie/towel/nude.
I personally (Devil here) wear things I feel sexy in yet comfortable, too. So for example, I have been known to wear a nice T-shirt and a short skirt with no underwear.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
As far as we are aware, all clubs do meet and greet for new members. It's a way of both showing them around the club, but also a way of informing the newcomers about the club rules.
What people wear depends on the club and event. There are 3 main types of club:
1) night-club like- you come in dress as sexy as you dare but you remain fully dressed until you choose to play or use wet facilities
2) spa-based or dress down club- as soon as you get in, you are expected to dress down- wear a towel, sexy lingerie, dressing gown or similar; or just your birthday suit
3) a combination of the 2 above- you have the main area of the club- normally the bar and the dance floor- as dress up (as sexy as you dare). Then, when you proceed to the other part of the club, you dress down to lingerie/towel/nude.
I personally (Devil here) wear things I feel sexy in yet comfortable, too. So for example, I have been known to wear a nice T-shirt and a short skirt with no underwear.
"
Thank you for all the info. The ones I've seen around here seem to be more towards option 3 with the mix which I think I'd prefer .... for now  |
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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago
Beyond the shadows. |
"Do yourself a favour. Find someone to meet there or go with someone.
If you don't you could potentially spend all night being snubbed by those you try to converse with, and end up bored and fed up.
And you will have spent something like 80 quid for this delightful experience.
"
I've always gone one my own in fact I prefer to go on my own. I've found people to be quite friendly and welcoming. But I mainly go to clubs in the midlands and the north, so maybe its a different experience in the south. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm hoping to get to a club but as a single woman it's pretty nerve wracking. Ive seen some clubs do meet & greet type things where you can be shown around beforehand etc, is this something people would recommend ? Also, and this will sound silly, but what do people wear ? "
A couple kindly messaged me telling me about our place 4fun
I’ve taken a look on the website and it seems very friendly and the reviews look good but again like yourself a bit nerve wracking going as a single and a newbie but I’m looking to take the plunge in a few weeks time...
Good luck xx |
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