FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Are social meets important to you?
Are social meets important to you?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Morning all
I’ve been having a difficult week trying to make contact with people and introduce myself. Perhaps I’m old fashioned, but my ideal path to a future meet is to message people first and ideally have a social meet to see if they are genuine, and we enjoy each other’s company enough to want to take it further.
I’ve found recently that people seem less interested in this; it’s bad with the men in my area, and absolutely awful on Fab's sister site Fabguys. On that site, casual meets with total strangers is the norm, usually within short timeframes and at odd hours of the day.
On both sites with my not agreeing to meet with someone within the exchange of a few messages and conforming to the ‘MEET NOW’ culture, I’ve been blocked by more than one person, and also called a fantasist that doesn’t really want to meet.
That actually couldn’t be further from the truth and I’m very clear in my head as to what I’m looking for, I just have no wish to meet someone for quick fuck and go meets when I could hopefully be building up a relationship/friendship with people I could meet more than once.
Fortunately there is less of the ‘meet now!’ attitude on FabSwingers and there are some genuinely lovely people that are prepared to hold a conversation, and hopefully meet out for a drink to follow it up.
It got me thinking though. My wife and I started swinging five-six years back and we always met people for a social beforehand, typically arranging a meet off the back of it. It feels right to continue doing so, but is that perhaps not what others expect now?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Some people want casual sex with no strings and others will need a connection before hand. Outside of a club, we always want a social first because we like to meet people we can have a laugh with. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
100% agree on your points as we always do a "Social" meet 1st with anyone and so we get labelled as various things and we do make it pretty easy to understand that MRS4 likes to get to know people and it has to be a metal as well as a physical attraction for things to develop further ? and you have to have the ability to stimulate our brains before ...but sadly most now think of these sites as a purely sex sites or are led to believe they are and hence the people leaving and we have no objections at all if that is your thing but don't assume everyone is after "Ferry sex" or likes a "Panda" ...  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *renzMan
over a year ago
Between Chichester and Havant |
I've been swinging for 20+ years and meeting for a social I would say would be normal for meeting couples and females. I have met for a social and played straight after and I have been invited to play straight away, but a social is by far the most accepted.
I can't talk for men as I don't meet them, but I could imagine it being different. Not all think with their brain. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yes, they are important to us, the social meet may turn into a sex meet, but meeting a total stranger for sex without preamble isn't for us. As a couple, we need to get a feel for the other person /people and whether there is a good dynamic.
Everyone should do fab as they wish and not feel pressured into meeting at a pace with which they are not comfortable. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Morning all
I’ve been having a difficult week trying to make contact with people and introduce myself. Perhaps I’m old fashioned, but my ideal path to a future meet is to message people first and ideally have a social meet to see if they are genuine, and we enjoy each other’s company enough to want to take it further.
I’ve found recently that people seem less interested in this; it’s bad with the men in my area, and absolutely awful on Fab's sister site Fabguys. On that site, casual meets with total strangers is the norm, usually within short timeframes and at odd hours of the day.
On both sites with my not agreeing to meet with someone within the exchange of a few messages and conforming to the ‘MEET NOW’ culture, I’ve been blocked by more than one person, and also called a fantasist that doesn’t really want to meet.
That actually couldn’t be further from the truth and I’m very clear in my head as to what I’m looking for, I just have no wish to meet someone for quick fuck and go meets when I could hopefully be building up a relationship/friendship with people I could meet more than once.
Fortunately there is less of the ‘meet now!’ attitude on FabSwingers and there are some genuinely lovely people that are prepared to hold a conversation, and hopefully meet out for a drink to follow it up.
It got me thinking though. My wife and I started swinging five-six years back and we always met people for a social beforehand, typically arranging a meet off the back of it. It feels right to continue doing so, but is that perhaps not what others expect now?
"
We're not here to make more friends but it is vital that any guy we choose as a fun partner is a 'friend' first. Social only meetings are therefore a part of that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Outside of club I don’t introduce wife to single guys unless I meet them first , will always be that way unless wife will tell me she has met someone she likes , we have been let down in n the past, club completely different as the guys there seem to be more trustworthy and actually bother to turn up , |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think as we move to an "always on, always connected" lifestyle, this will naturally follow to all areas of life.
You can order stuff online for next day delivery, food is 2 clicks and 30 minutes away, so people assume that sex is available with the same ease.
We aren't living in Logan's Run though, so teleporting a sexpot in for instant gratification can't happen, no matter what people might think.
I personally prefer a social first, it saves embarrassment and allows the lady an escape route so if she doesn't like me, she can reject me later. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Interesting replies, and honestly what I was expecting to see. Maybe the 'Meet now' culture is only to be found between men; but I wouldn't dream of contacting someone and demanding that from anyone.
I won't be changing my approach to contacting people, but a few of you have mentioned clubs and that could perhaps be the way forward for me on my own, or perhaps even local Munch's as I enjoy bdsm. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If we choose to meet with someone we will have sent messages back and forth and seen them on cam before meeting in person.
When we meet in person we prefer to meet for a while, then head to the bedroom/hayloft/wherever shortly afterwards. I don't think we have ever had a social with someone, then met them at a later date to play, but each to their own.
What I will say is that you are doing what's right for you, and if the expectations or demands of others don't match with your own then it's probably best to look elsewhere. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don’t do socials at all.
Send a few messages, like what we see, like the same things sexually- meet and done.
I’m not here to get to know single men, or for socials. I believe if I wanted socials I’d date.
I have friends in the “vanilla” world and on here who I’ve met at clubs. But I’m not looking for fuck buddy of FWB people on here so socials aren’t needed xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"From a single womans perspective its the sane thing to do then there is no pressure to play...and for your own safety x"
I don’t actually believe it makes it any safer (I don’t meet in houses).
All it shows is that they can behave in public. You never know who how they will behave next time round.
If you have took the time to verify them before you get there what’s the difference? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I like to chat online with them first and see if there's a connection. We've only met with single men so far and have had sex on first meeting but a lot of online chat first not sure how comfortable I'd be with someone I'd not spoken to a fair bit before.
From the couples we've talked to it seems more social first but I do think it's harder as more people need to have that attraction.
I imagine once restrictions lift most of our couple meets will be in clubs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"From a single womans perspective its the sane thing to do then there is no pressure to play...and for your own safety x"
I agree with this. The thought of going straight to someone's house without meeting in public first seems crazy to me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I always meet socially first, if someone doesn't want to I find they're either just after a quick shag with no effort, or they have something to hide so can't be seen out in public.
Either way I just tell them we're not compatible and move on. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I always meet socially first, if someone doesn't want to I find they're either just after a quick shag with no effort, or they have something to hide so can't be seen out in public.
Either way I just tell them we're not compatible and move on. "
Quick shag, hotel for the night and lots of effort here lol!
I just don’t wanna get to know them or be friends haha!
Definitely nothing to hide i just don’t wanna sit in the pub with someone I never plan to see again  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"I always meet socially first, if someone doesn't want to I find they're either just after a quick shag with no effort, or they have something to hide so can't be seen out in public.
Either way I just tell them we're not compatible and move on.
Quick shag, hotel for the night and lots of effort here lol!
I just don’t wanna get to know them or be friends haha!
Definitely nothing to hide i just don’t wanna sit in the pub with someone I never plan to see again "
That works for you so that's great, when I was single though so many just wanted to come straight to mine, which wasn't happening and made me suspicious lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I always meet socially first, if someone doesn't want to I find they're either just after a quick shag with no effort, or they have something to hide so can't be seen out in public.
Either way I just tell them we're not compatible and move on.
Quick shag, hotel for the night and lots of effort here lol!
I just don’t wanna get to know them or be friends haha!
Definitely nothing to hide i just don’t wanna sit in the pub with someone I never plan to see again
That works for you so that's great, when I was single though so many just wanted to come straight to mine, which wasn't happening and made me suspicious lol"
Oh yeah, I love the whole “meet now” guys that want your address on the first message lol! Avoid!! Xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"I always meet socially first, if someone doesn't want to I find they're either just after a quick shag with no effort, or they have something to hide so can't be seen out in public.
Either way I just tell them we're not compatible and move on.
Quick shag, hotel for the night and lots of effort here lol!
I just don’t wanna get to know them or be friends haha!
Definitely nothing to hide i just don’t wanna sit in the pub with someone I never plan to see again
That works for you so that's great, when I was single though so many just wanted to come straight to mine, which wasn't happening and made me suspicious lol
Oh yeah, I love the whole “meet now” guys that want your address on the first message lol! Avoid!! Xx"
yeah as if they're gonna get that, had a message a couple of weeks ago at half ten asking for my postcode! Xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I always meet socially first, if someone doesn't want to I find they're either just after a quick shag with no effort, or they have something to hide so can't be seen out in public.
Either way I just tell them we're not compatible and move on.
Quick shag, hotel for the night and lots of effort here lol!
I just don’t wanna get to know them or be friends haha!
Definitely nothing to hide i just don’t wanna sit in the pub with someone I never plan to see again
That works for you so that's great, when I was single though so many just wanted to come straight to mine, which wasn't happening and made me suspicious lol
Oh yeah, I love the whole “meet now” guys that want your address on the first message lol! Avoid!! Xxyeah as if they're gonna get that, had a message a couple of weeks ago at half ten asking for my postcode! Xx"
I’m always genuinely intrigued if it’s ever worked for them lol. Like do they expect me to say yes? Ha xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don’t do socials before a meet. For me it’s about the sex, as long as a guy is reasonably good looking I’m happy to meet, say hello and get down to fucking Me and Bob enjoy the big social events where we can mingle with like minded adults though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rsPricklePantsWoman
over a year ago
Room 237 at The Overlook Hotel, Suffolk |
I don't do meets without the first being a no promises social, it's important for me to feel comfortable with who I'm meeting for fun and the best way for me to judge that is by having a social first if people don't do socials they don't meet me simple as that |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
100% yes - they are vital
Went on a couple over the years without social and deeply regretted both occasions
Nothing wrong in meeting up for a coffee and chat, that way chemistry can by gauged
Don't get me wrong, there have been odd times I have gone to a meet without a social and fucked, but they are rare times
Meet first that way if you dont "click" no harm done
J xx  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I prefer a social first, I like to meet without there being any pressure to play and I like to know there's a bit of chemistry there.
I'm not looking for one-offs though, so I guess it's different for those that are.
The joy of a site like this is that I can be absolutely explicit about what I want and if someone else's views differ then it's not an issue - I can just keep looking until I find someone more compatible with what I want. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Morning all
I’ve been having a difficult week trying to make contact with people and introduce myself. Perhaps I’m old fashioned, but my ideal path to a future meet is to message people first and ideally have a social meet to see if they are genuine, and we enjoy each other’s company enough to want to take it further.
I’ve found recently that people seem less interested in this; it’s bad with the men in my area, and absolutely awful on Fab's sister site Fabguys. On that site, casual meets with total strangers is the norm, usually within short timeframes and at odd hours of the day.
On both sites with my not agreeing to meet with someone within the exchange of a few messages and conforming to the ‘MEET NOW’ culture, I’ve been blocked by more than one person, and also called a fantasist that doesn’t really want to meet.
That actually couldn’t be further from the truth and I’m very clear in my head as to what I’m looking for, I just have no wish to meet someone for quick fuck and go meets when I could hopefully be building up a relationship/friendship with people I could meet more than once.
Fortunately there is less of the ‘meet now!’ attitude on FabSwingers and there are some genuinely lovely people that are prepared to hold a conversation, and hopefully meet out for a drink to follow it up.
It got me thinking though. My wife and I started swinging five-six years back and we always met people for a social beforehand, typically arranging a meet off the back of it. It feels right to continue doing so, but is that perhaps not what others expect now?
"
Everyone is different and great if they can find what they are looking for but personally I cannot comprehend even considering doing anything intimate with a few photos and some written lines on a screen - because this is all it is until I meet the person(s) for a coffee with no obligations. Only this way I will know that they are real, not a robot or worse.
Another crucial aspect is my safety - I cannot afford the risk (yes, of course I am angry about the fact that I am not safe to move through the world as a man can).
It differs for people and maybe some have strong imaginations or there are some other factors that enhance virtual interactions for them. To me, the idea of having sex with some anonymous person surfing the internet is like being asked to quote for double glazing - it feels absurd. I actually think that there is a much bigger chance for someone who is asking this to not show up. I might mistaken and perhaps people meet like this all time and good for them.
My own vetting process works very well so I'm happy with my approach, people might still not show up so I always have a plan B to make sure that they don't impose on my time at least but it happens very rarely.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I always ask for a social meet first, to check the person matches the profile and pics, and also to see if we make a connection face to face. I always say “No expectations, no disappointments, if we don’t get on, we just go our separate ways, no harm done”. This has worked well for me over the years, so I see no reason to change  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You come to know about a person through social meets only .
We never ever jump into bed with strangers without knowing them well.
Socials can be used to discuss boundaries . A person can be different in bed sometimes . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We would almost certainly never have sex with anybody we don't get on with socially. It's a must-have for us. We can socialise with people we don't have sex with but not have sex with people we don't socialise with. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've been swinging for 20+ years and meeting for a social I would say would be normal for meeting couples and females. I have met for a social and played straight after and I have been invited to play straight away, but a social is by far the most accepted.
I can't talk for men as I don't meet them, but I could imagine it being different. Not all think with their brain."
I'm like this. I've made that mistake in the past. I don't meet men so can't comment on that . A social is important to establish a mutual attraction and chemistry. I've usually played after a social and do prefer this when not meeting in a club |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We would almost certainly never have sex with anybody we don't get on with socially. It's a must-have for us. We can socialise with people we don't have sex with but not have sex with people we don't socialise with. "
Same here |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes, they are important to us, the social meet may turn into a sex meet, but meeting a total stranger for sex without preamble isn't for us. As a couple, we need to get a feel for the other person /people and whether there is a good dynamic.
Everyone should do fab as they wish and not feel pressured into meeting at a pace with which they are not comfortable. "
This |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I needn't say that it hasn't happened that I've met without a social, usually on spontaneous late night meets, and those have involved telephone contact first. In every case that I met in a pub beforehand, be it for coffee or a drink, the people have invariably had a contingency plan in place whereby, if the chemistry is good, we will be going straight on to play either at their place, my place, or mine, and that social has even happened when I've been recommended by a mutual acquaintance.
From a guys point of view, I prefer a quick social because, contrary to popular belief, not all guys are walking, talking sex machines. If I don't actually fancy someone, they have more chance of raising The Titanic, than what makes me feel proud, as I dry myself down, whilst looking in the mirror, after taking a shower. A social eliminates that occasional possibility of non starters. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We’ve never really got into having socials. We have found that we enjoy going to Clubs, partly because of the opportunities they offer  We do arrange to meet people at Clubs, sometimes we click, sometimes not. We do find that just being in a Club allows us to find someone we might like and if not we tend to have fun on our own. After we have met people at Clubs, then we are happy to be social, or repeat at a hotel |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"big social events where we can mingle with like minded adults though. "
This for sure. We don't do the email ping pong thing so organised socials are the way forward for us. We generally meet single guys and them just turning up at a social s out the fantasists. It also means you never get no shows |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We prefer the social side because that's how it's always been for us..
We've been swinging for 25 years. When where where younger it was just with friends and then a bit later through an early swinger site on the web. it was always a social thing until it wasn't. Then we started a family and took a long break but came back to it discovered fab.
For us it's usually a bit of chat and introduction on here then meet somewhere for a drink and see how it goes. On a few occasions we've invited people to ours our gone to theirs. Even gone to a few house party's but it's always been a few hours of banter at least before anything happened.
Started exploring larger social events and clubs in the last couple of years (when we had the free time) as you can have a bit of banter and go from there as well but I think we've been a bit to shy at those. Unfortunately right as we where feeling more confident and learning to navigate them covid struck and put an end to it.
But fingers crossed, when things get better, we will be able to hop back in when these events start up again.
On the flip side, we've never even considered the whole stranger thing. It's not our style or thing but never say never and all that.
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't do socials. I used to when I first started put on fab but after discovering the club scene and also having a series of disastrous socials with weirdos, liars and cheaters, it's been club meets only for years now.
I have zero interest in "connecting" with anyone on a deeper level or making ongoing relationships. For me the scene is about fucking hot guys at clubs mainly - it's a safe environment, I have fun, and I leave it all there when I go home. I don't want issues with wives or nutty girlfriends by going out for dinner or drinks, and I certainly don't have the time for spending weeks messaging and texting.
I appreciate this is quite a different approach to the majority of women here who are looking for a connection or relationship. I get my kicks from fucking someone new and sexy - I very rarely meet someone someone again and in all honesty rarely chat on fab afterwards either with guys I meet at clubs. I can't bear seeing girlfriends I have in the scene throwing themselves at guys that they shagged once in a club, thinking its more.... sex is sex, I'm not after more so let's leave it there....
The only socials I am interested in are organised group socials, but have found over the last few years that very few single guys turn up to them. "Too scared" apparantly..... of you are too gutless to walk into a pub and buy a drink and have a chat with people, how on earth are you going to fuck a stranger?! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *c69funCouple
over a year ago
chesterfield |
If it's a single guy we're meeting, it's always a social at a swingers club first, if they aren't of interest or don't turn up we haven't wasted our night and can find others at the club. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yes we always require a social 1st (at the very least with me, ideally all 3 of us). Want to make sure we all get along and there is attraction between the guy and I.
But yeah a lot of guys just want to come over... erm no
Dee |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I always meet for a social/coffee first, I didnt used to, but some men/people use old/false photos on here and I've been stung a couple of times.
There has to be an attraction for me  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago
Derbyshire village |
Not sure I forsee us ever 'meeting' anyone without meeting them first (I know what I mean).
Building a rapport of some kind would surely help to smooth over the cracks when one of us inevitably gets a cramp, or makes an interesting noise (think the noise you sometimes catch yourself making as you get up from your chair). |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
We swing almost entirely in clubs, or at least we did before Covid. Other than with a couple of guys who have become friends we're not particularly interested in socialising when swinging. We have our vanilla friends for that. A big turn on for me is anonymous spontaneous sex with a guy or guys that I find reasonably attractive, and hopefully find me attractive. No names, no small talk, just good sex. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
"I don't do socials. I used to when I first started put on fab but after discovering the club scene and also having a series of disastrous socials with weirdos, liars and cheaters, it's been club meets only for years now.
I have zero interest in "connecting" with anyone on a deeper level or making ongoing relationships. For me the scene is about fucking hot guys at clubs mainly - it's a safe environment, I have fun, and I leave it all there when I go home. I don't want issues with wives or nutty girlfriends by going out for dinner or drinks, and I certainly don't have the time for spending weeks messaging and texting.
I appreciate this is quite a different approach to the majority of women here who are looking for a connection or relationship. I get my kicks from fucking someone new and sexy - I very rarely meet someone someone again and in all honesty rarely chat on fab afterwards either with guys I meet at clubs. I can't bear seeing girlfriends I have in the scene throwing themselves at guys that they shagged once in a club, thinking its more.... sex is sex, I'm not after more so let's leave it there....
The only socials I am interested in are organised group socials, but have found over the last few years that very few single guys turn up to them. "Too scared" apparantly..... of you are too gutless to walk into a pub and buy a drink and have a chat with people, how on earth are you going to fuck a stranger?! "
Exactly how I feel. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Club fun, fine, single males half way house social meets at hotel lobby no guarantee they get to the room. Couples always socials. Harder to find balance in a 4 sum if its going to work everyone needs to be on the same page. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
In all honesty by the time I’ve committed to meeting someone/people I’ve probably already made that connection through other means and I don’t get an awful lot of playtime with work and family life so a separate social isn’t important to me.
For that reason my meets normally proceed on the basis of booking a room somewhere meeting in the hotel bar or something and as long as everyone’s happy, going straight up for playtime |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I always meet for a social. It's part of my risk assessment.
100% this"
we prefer a social first, always good to know more about the people you might be getting up close and personal with in the future |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Always social meet first for us. Too many especially with what’s happened with Covid etc are just looking to meet up for quick fuck to satisfy themselves. So basically just using women as cheaper than going to a pro! Also we all no guys will agree with anything you say just to get a meet, then hope to get a fuck just because we’ve all turned up. Just the same as never agree to a guy paying for a hotel room to meet, as that immediately puts you under pressure to give them what they want. Definitely social meet first!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *irldnCouple
over a year ago
Brighton |
Late to this but we prefer a social first as no pressure or expectations. Saying that the majority of our supposedly only going to be a social have ended up turning into a play night if we have clicked with people. Just don’t want expectations. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
For us it's no social then no meet,if you can't turn up for a social over a coffee or something how can we expect a person to turn up for an actual meet...plus a social goes some way to ensuring they are what they are claiming to be on the site. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Always social meet first for us. Too many especially with what’s happened with Covid etc are just looking to meet up for quick fuck to satisfy themselves. So basically just using women as cheaper than going to a pro! Also we all no guys will agree with anything you say just to get a meet, then hope to get a fuck just because we’ve all turned up. Just the same as never agree to a guy paying for a hotel room to meet, as that immediately puts you under pressure to give them what they want. Definitely social meet first!!"
I’ve accepted ‘socials’ in the past, on two occasions, from single women in their homes. Both turned out to be MUCH older than they stated in their profiles, and had used pics very much out of date. Neither had made any effort to ‘present’ themselves on the day, as it was clear they expected sex, and let’s be honest, men will just fuck anything, when it’s there on a plate, right? Not this guy......! That was in my early days of Fab, and I only do socials on neutral territory ever since. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
I enjoy socials with single women. It's an opportunity to chat about life in general and find common ground in a safe environment in which a woman can be as open and as honest as she wants. Her body language and enthusiasm will indicate how likely she might want to meet subsequently for playtimes but it's enjoyable as a stand alone event. However a man has to be light on his feet and the club scene is different and requires a different approach as it can be more immediate. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I always do a social first sometimes they have turned into more but usually we meet see if we get on and then if we do arrange another meet later on .It's always handy I find especially if you aren't feeling any chemistry then there is no awkwardness in leaving it as just a social. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Each to there own but i find socials are a waste of time when looking for fun. I would rather just get down to what we are here for rather than the circus and jumping through hoops some do just get a sniff. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Not particularly, we know instantly if we like a couple of not.
But are happy to have one, just our meet time is very limited, so we like to make the most of it."
Finally a truthful answer ! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We always do socials first has to be some form of attraction to go any further but we have found it does put alot of people off "
THIS 100% need to meet even only quickly in person as some are not the same as their pics ,also some sort of connection is needed for me (wife) for me to be intimate with a guy ,sad but true I must be old fashioned
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Much prefer a social rather than going straight to a play meet and with our couples profile it's an absolute requirement.
Though, covid and lockdown has also led to some very close social contacts remotely so chances of meeting socially and then it progressing on the same day I'd say are higher than normal for most. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Thanks for all the replies to my original post, everyone has their own ideas on this, but it's encouraging to see I'm not alone in enjoying a social still |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Everyone has their circumstances and what works for them. I love the flirting and teasing in the build up (and of course there's also the benefit of the added personal verification step). Having said that, I haven't said no, when asked to jump straight in, in the past. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
In my view social meets are very important. I recently met up with someone after we'd been messaging for a while. For me, I thought it went well and he implied it had as well but he then kept coming up with excuses as to why he couldn't meet again. He came across as well mannered etc but this has proved otherwise. I just think if you're not to someone's taste then just say instead of stringing them along. We're all adults but thankfully I'd not met him with no social beforehand.
We live and learn |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We are after a regular long term buddy and will always meet strictly social first of all.
The trouble here is that 90% plus of the men are married and are meeting without their wife's knowledge. They want a shag, they want it quick and they are not particularly bothered who they shag. They then disappear in to the ether trying to find their next victim whilst remaining deceitful to their wife! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A social is very important for me, I won’t meet or play with someone without a social first. As a married woman who meets in her own, it is paramount that I feel safe in their company, that there is a high level of sexual attraction and I’m a very tactile person so I need to see and speak to them to build that attraction.
We also use it as a way to gauge how genuine a guy is. As it’s always local to me and on my terms but after that I am happy to travel and do it on both terms.
I’ve been an a lot of socials and always enjoyed them as it’s great swapping stories and meeting new people but I haven’t gone in to play with many as in person they just haven’t given me that urge. And I won’t play if I’m not totally into them x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A social is very important for me, I won’t meet or play with someone without a social first. As a married woman who meets in her own, it is paramount that I feel safe in their company, that there is a high level of sexual attraction and I’m a very tactile person so I need to see and speak to them to build that attraction.
We also use it as a way to gauge how genuine a guy is. As it’s always local to me and on my terms but after that I am happy to travel and do it on both terms.
I’ve been an a lot of socials and always enjoyed them as it’s great swapping stories and meeting new people but I haven’t gone in to play with many as in person they just haven’t given me that urge. And I won’t play if I’m not totally into them x "
Agreed - someone's personality is such a big part of building a good friendship - scores massive pints for me every time xx  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We are after a regular long term buddy and will always meet strictly social first of all.
The trouble here is that 90% plus of the men are married and are meeting without their wife's knowledge. They want a shag, they want it quick and they are not particularly bothered who they shag. They then disappear in to the ether trying to find their next victim whilst remaining deceitful to their wife! "
Thankfully not all of us but its hard to find a great couple to play with long term. Wish you were closer. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
My free time is limited so I prefer to not use it for a social. I find lots of chatting online beforehand and sharing of current face pics, sexting etc works well to filter the guys. Physical socials make me anxious, everything flows so much better once we're naked!  so when I have the chance to meet it is 95% of the time to play. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
I think socials are important but it's also how each individual person are open minded laid back and able to just get down to it like you've known them forever these are the spontaneous meets |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Generally I prefer a social first but with different people the dynamic can be different. We all have our standards and preferences. We shouldn't change them for anyone.
It's unfortunate that many don't respect that |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yes i have got naked with people only shortly after having met them. But really my preference is to get to know people, to have some connection. The downside is that I do seem to end up friendzone with many, sexy action with few. Is that good or is that bad? No idea. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Sometimes you just want to meet someone, fuck for a few hours and then leave. The majority of the time though we like to hang out, have a laugh and the odd drink beforehand |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sometimes you just want to meet someone, fuck for a few hours and then leave. The majority of the time though we like to hang out, have a laugh and the odd drink beforehand"
" for a few hours" someones been watching to much porn i think.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sometimes you just want to meet someone, fuck for a few hours and then leave. The majority of the time though we like to hang out, have a laugh and the odd drink beforehand
" for a few hours" someones been watching to much porn i think. "
Speak for yourself |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Sometimes you just want to meet someone, fuck for a few hours and then leave. The majority of the time though we like to hang out, have a laugh and the odd drink beforehand
" for a few hours" someones been watching to much porn i think.
Speak for yourself "
My thoughts exactly! I have had plenty of long sessions, 2-4 hours are the best though 13 has been known |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Unless we meet in a club, We always say social meet and take it from there, that way there is no pressure if we don't want to play x"
If you dont to play why be on a sex site? Each to his own but cant understand the circus of socials with all its fake politness when most folk just want nsa fun. Personelly i dont have enough free time to waste on socials when im here for nsa sex so would rather meet someone who is after the same thing. Also the fact that there are far too many timewasters on here to risk what free time i have on a fruitless "social" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Unless we meet in a club, We always say social meet and take it from there, that way there is no pressure if we don't want to play x
If you dont to play why be on a sex site? Each to his own but cant understand the circus of socials with all its fake politness when most folk just want nsa fun. Personelly i dont have enough free time to waste on socials when im here for nsa sex so would rather meet someone who is after the same thing. Also the fact that there are far too many timewasters on here to risk what free time i have on a fruitless "social""
Were not here to fuck anyone and everyone!! So if you didn't 'have the time' for us all to get to know each other then you certainly wouldn't be getting our time for a meet! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
"Unless we meet in a club, We always say social meet and take it from there, that way there is no pressure if we don't want to play x
If you dont to play why be on a sex site? Each to his own but cant understand the circus of socials with all its fake politness when most folk just want nsa fun. Personelly i dont have enough free time to waste on socials when im here for nsa sex so would rather meet someone who is after the same thing. Also the fact that there are far too many timewasters on here to risk what free time i have on a fruitless "social""
Personally I won’t have fun with just anyone because we’re all on Fab. If someone can’t spend half an hour for a coffee then sorry I don’t want to meet them. It’s personal taste and there is no right or wrong way for people to use Fab. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"Unless we meet in a club, We always say social meet and take it from there, that way there is no pressure if we don't want to play x
If you dont to play why be on a sex site? Each to his own but cant understand the circus of socials with all its fake politness when most folk just want nsa fun. Personelly i dont have enough free time to waste on socials when im here for nsa sex so would rather meet someone who is after the same thing. Also the fact that there are far too many timewasters on here to risk what free time i have on a fruitless "social"
Personally I won’t have fun with just anyone because we’re all on Fab. If someone can’t spend half an hour for a coffee then sorry I don’t want to meet them. It’s personal taste and there is no right or wrong way for people to use Fab. "
Exactly this |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Unless we meet in a club, We always say social meet and take it from there, that way there is no pressure if we don't want to play x
If you dont to play why be on a sex site? Each to his own but cant understand the circus of socials with all its fake politness when most folk just want nsa fun. Personelly i dont have enough free time to waste on socials when im here for nsa sex so would rather meet someone who is after the same thing. Also the fact that there are far too many timewasters on here to risk what free time i have on a fruitless "social"
Personally I won’t have fun with just anyone because we’re all on Fab. If someone can’t spend half an hour for a coffee then sorry I don’t want to meet them. It’s personal taste and there is no right or wrong way for people to use Fab. "
Exactly!
I'm not on a brothel website offering sexual services, were here to make friends and have some fun along the way |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Unless we meet in a club, We always say social meet and take it from there, that way there is no pressure if we don't want to play x
If you dont to play why be on a sex site? Each to his own but cant understand the circus of socials with all its fake politness when most folk just want nsa fun. Personelly i dont have enough free time to waste on socials when im here for nsa sex so would rather meet someone who is after the same thing. Also the fact that there are far too many timewasters on here to risk what free time i have on a fruitless "social"
Personally I won’t have fun with just anyone because we’re all on Fab. If someone can’t spend half an hour for a coffee then sorry I don’t want to meet them. It’s personal taste and there is no right or wrong way for people to use Fab.
Exactly!
I'm not on a brothel website offering sexual services, were here to make friends and have some fun along the way "
Indeed, just because casual sex happens doesn't mean it's there for everyone to get. You're not guaranteed a fuck if you're single and go to a swingers club just because you paid to get in, the same goes with a private meet |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Unless we meet in a club, We always say social meet and take it from there, that way there is no pressure if we don't want to play x
If you dont to play why be on a sex site? Each to his own but cant understand the circus of socials with all its fake politness when most folk just want nsa fun. Personelly i dont have enough free time to waste on socials when im here for nsa sex so would rather meet someone who is after the same thing. Also the fact that there are far too many timewasters on here to risk what free time i have on a fruitless "social"
Personally I won’t have fun with just anyone because we’re all on Fab. If someone can’t spend half an hour for a coffee then sorry I don’t want to meet them. It’s personal taste and there is no right or wrong way for people to use Fab. "
Only half an hour? Can we make it an hour and have a slice of cake with the coffee? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I prefer a social first and make it very clear there's no expectations. This works both ways and gives you time to see if there's a mutual attraction and chemistry. If the social goes well I'm happy to play if we are all in the same mind set . I prefer the club's for this as it's a nicer environment to get to know people and see how we connect. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Unless we meet in a club, We always say social meet and take it from there, that way there is no pressure if we don't want to play x
If you dont to play why be on a sex site? Each to his own but cant understand the circus of socials with all its fake politness when most folk just want nsa fun. Personelly i dont have enough free time to waste on socials when im here for nsa sex so would rather meet someone who is after the same thing. Also the fact that there are far too many timewasters on here to risk what free time i have on a fruitless "social"
Personally I won’t have fun with just anyone because we’re all on Fab. If someone can’t spend half an hour for a coffee then sorry I don’t want to meet them. It’s personal taste and there is no right or wrong way for people to use Fab.
Exactly!
I'm not on a brothel website offering sexual services, were here to make friends and have some fun along the way "
100% a social is all part of the build up. Not everyone is looking to shag anything with a pulse or the first offer they get. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
we prefer to have a social first, after all how do you know you all want to play together, we arent here just for sex, we like to make friends with people we play with. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Unless we meet in a club, We always say social meet and take it from there, that way there is no pressure if we don't want to play x
If you dont to play why be on a sex site? Each to his own but cant understand the circus of socials with all its fake politness when most folk just want nsa fun. Personelly i dont have enough free time to waste on socials when im here for nsa sex so would rather meet someone who is after the same thing. Also the fact that there are far too many timewasters on here to risk what free time i have on a fruitless "social"
Personally I won’t have fun with just anyone because we’re all on Fab. If someone can’t spend half an hour for a coffee then sorry I don’t want to meet them. It’s personal taste and there is no right or wrong way for people to use Fab.
Exactly!
I'm not on a brothel website offering sexual services, were here to make friends and have some fun along the way
100% a social is all part of the build up. Not everyone is looking to shag anything with a pulse or the first offer they get. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Sometimes you just want to meet someone, fuck for a few hours and then leave. The majority of the time though we like to hang out, have a laugh and the odd drink beforehand
" for a few hours" someones been watching to much porn i think. "
We once spent 9 hours having sex. Cant say we would want to these days but a few hours is the norm for us. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I prefer a social first to gauge whether there's chemistry and attraction on both sides. It's so much easier to chat over a coffee then leave it at that if there isn't than it is to turn someone away when they have come expecting sex.
It works for me
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Sometimes you just want to meet someone, fuck for a few hours and then leave. The majority of the time though we like to hang out, have a laugh and the odd drink beforehand
" for a few hours" someones been watching to much porn i think.
We once spent 9 hours having sex. Cant say we would want to these days but a few hours is the norm for us."
Were the same a few hours at least for us too!! In our prime when we were younger and fitter lol we would go for days haha x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
