FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Is there a formula?

Is there a formula?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I’m a genuine guy and my profile (I think) cuts to the point, I read profiles before messaging and try make each message individual and relevant however I’ve been on here 2 years and I’ve met 2 people. Am I doing something wrong? I don’t think I’m that ugly...?? Does my profile come across desperate? I get it’s a woman’s world on here but...??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m a genuine guy and my profile (I think) cuts to the point, I read profiles before messaging and try make each message individual and relevant however I’ve been on here 2 years and I’ve met 2 people. Am I doing something wrong? I don’t think I’m that ugly...?? Does my profile come across desperate? I get it’s a woman’s world on here but...??"

It’s odd that you’ve been on over a year and no verifications

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

It’s odd that you’ve been on over a year and no verifications"

Not really, covid has been a thing

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I’ve never asked for them, just thought that it was after a few meets people would just post them anyway

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I read profiles OP. I wouldn't respond to a message first without reading it. It's certainly not the worst profile I've seen. Maybe change the dick pics for something a little more interesting?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I get that, I guess I mean just general replies to messages etc, I’m not one who messages “wanna fuck” etc but 90% of the time I get nowt back

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I get that, I guess I mean just general replies to messages etc, I’m not one who messages “wanna fuck” etc but 90% of the time I get nowt back "

All depends who you're messaging doesnt it.

If someone sends me a witty message showing that theyve read my profile Im much more likely to respond. Doesnt have to be war and peace, can be a one liner but it shows interest in me as a person.

You cant have been that bad at messaging if youve had two meets?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Our formula for wanting to reply to a message from someone would be:

Decent quality message that shows the sender matches with us and has actually read our profile.

Decent spread of pics showing who the profile owner is, not just dick pics or an old shag pic.

A profile that tells us something about the owner, not just a shopping list of things they like.

Verifications- so many fakes and fantasist on here that veris are key before even thinking about replying. It takes minutes to get chatting to someone in the cam room and get verified as genuine.

Height and general dimensions- we're both tall so don't consider guys under 6ft or scrawny peeps, just doesn't work for us.

Take a look at some of the profile advice threads, they all have good advice on making profiles more appealing. You haven't asked for advice on your profile so people can't give it in this thread.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There is no magic formula for success on Fab . It’s all about timing and luck...

Answer these questions and you will have your answer...

Are you willing to drive 100 - 300 Kim’s for a meeting?

Are you willing to drop anything you’re doing immediately for a meeting?

Are you willing to go to clubs anywhere in the UK , when they are open?

Are you willing to chat for weeks, months, years months to someone before meeting them?

Are you willing to be friends with people that have no sexual attraction to you?

If you answer no to any of these questions, you will not have success on Fab just sending out messages.....

If you answered yes to all of these questions...

You will have success on Fab , because these are the things successful guys on Fab do.....

They just don’t admit it openly on the forums....

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

The Fab ‘Holy Trinity’ for the skim readers who take that initial look over your profile is;

Under 45

6ft or over

Can accommodate.

If you can tick each of those boxes, then you may catch someone’s attention enough for them to then check out your pics, and actually read your profile.

Convenience is the next biggy, ie; if YOU are able to meet THEIR availability

Hope this helps

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your profile could do with updating eg pictures. I would be put off by some of your interest but others might not

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

Well we ain't been able to meet for a year so if you think about it, you met 2 people in a year then that's not bad going at all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I noticed three things immediately that could potentially put people off.

1) Your solo profile pic is you with a woman

2) You can’t accommodate

3) You’re straight but meet verified by a man.

I know that could well be from a social but it’s the kind of thing that some people will pick up on.

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By *oxy lady40Woman over a year ago

bridgwater

"I noticed three things immediately that could potentially put people off.

1) Your solo profile pic is you with a woman

2) You can’t accommodate

3) You’re straight but meet verified by a man.

I know that could well be from a social but it’s the kind of thing that some people will pick up on.

V"
agree with you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I noticed three things immediately that could potentially put people off.

1) Your solo profile pic is you with a woman

2) You can’t accommodate

3) You’re straight but meet verified by a man.

I know that could well be from a social but it’s the kind of thing that some people will pick up on.

V agree with you "

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By *atnip make me purrWoman over a year ago

Reading

[Removed by poster at 23/04/21 19:32:53]

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By *AABMan over a year ago

Not far

2 meets in 2 years is pretty good. Most men won’t get 2 message replies in 2 years.

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By *obbytupperMan over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

|~¶?÷p±?= fuck

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By *iner69erMan over a year ago

inverness

There doesn't seem to be a formula. If there was,it probably wouldn't work. Being a man,you've got very little chance. If you accept you are unlikely to ever get a meet,then it will be great if you DO get one. If you don't,then at least you expected it.

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By *hatawasteMan over a year ago

stafford

people aren't meeting at the moment are they .. so its just adding more stress to an already stressful life we are all living at the moment if you worry about this sort of thing just keep your powder dry my friend and focus on this sort of stuff when we are allowed to meet again

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By *jonesMan over a year ago

Plymouth

There is no magic formula for success on Fab . It’s all about timing and luck...

Answer these questions and you will have your answer...

Are you willing to drive 100 - 300 Kim’s for a meeting?

Are you willing to drop anything you’re doing immediately for a meeting?

Are you willing to go to clubs anywhere in the UK , when they are open?

Are you willing to chat for weeks, months, years months to someone before meeting them?

Are you willing to be friends with people that have no sexual attraction to you?

If you answer no to any of these questions, you will not have success on Fab just sending out messages.....

If you answered yes to all of these questions...

You will have success on Fab , because these are the things successful guys on Fab do.....

They just don’t admit it openly on the forums...."

I would pretty much answer no to all those ...I appreciate it takes some effort but going to a social was the thing that really worked for me, and that I had some reasonably accessible clubs..

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

There is no magic formula for success on Fab . It’s all about timing and luck...

Answer these questions and you will have your answer...

Are you willing to drive 100 - 300 Kim’s for a meeting?

Are you willing to drop anything you’re doing immediately for a meeting?

Are you willing to go to clubs anywhere in the UK , when they are open?

Are you willing to chat for weeks, months, years months to someone before meeting them?

Are you willing to be friends with people that have no sexual attraction to you?

If you answer no to any of these questions, you will not have success on Fab just sending out messages.....

If you answered yes to all of these questions...

You will have success on Fab , because these are the things successful guys on Fab do.....

They just don’t admit it openly on the forums....

I would pretty much answer no to all those ...I appreciate it takes some effort but going to a social was the thing that really worked for me, and that I had some reasonably accessible clubs..

Honestly, if this guy can get laid, anyone can

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By *jonesMan over a year ago

Plymouth

There is no magic formula for success on Fab . It’s all about timing and luck...

Answer these questions and you will have your answer...

Are you willing to drive 100 - 300 Kim’s for a meeting?

Are you willing to drop anything you’re doing immediately for a meeting?

Are you willing to go to clubs anywhere in the UK , when they are open?

Are you willing to chat for weeks, months, years months to someone before meeting them?

Are you willing to be friends with people that have no sexual attraction to you?

If you answer no to any of these questions, you will not have success on Fab just sending out messages.....

If you answered yes to all of these questions...

You will have success on Fab , because these are the things successful guys on Fab do.....

They just don’t admit it openly on the forums....

I would pretty much answer no to all those ...I appreciate it takes some effort but going to a social was the thing that really worked for me, and that I had some reasonably accessible clubs..

Honestly, if this guy can get laid, anyone can

Lol lol wait till I see you...

I do wonder myself ...

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

There is no magic formula for success on Fab . It’s all about timing and luck...

Answer these questions and you will have your answer...

Are you willing to drive 100 - 300 Kim’s for a meeting?

Are you willing to drop anything you’re doing immediately for a meeting?

Are you willing to go to clubs anywhere in the UK , when they are open?

Are you willing to chat for weeks, months, years months to someone before meeting them?

Are you willing to be friends with people that have no sexual attraction to you?

If you answer no to any of these questions, you will not have success on Fab just sending out messages.....

If you answered yes to all of these questions...

You will have success on Fab , because these are the things successful guys on Fab do.....

They just don’t admit it openly on the forums....

I would pretty much answer no to all those ...I appreciate it takes some effort but going to a social was the thing that really worked for me, and that I had some reasonably accessible clubs..

Honestly, if this guy can get laid, anyone can

Lol lol wait till I see you...

I do wonder myself ...

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By *jonesMan over a year ago

Plymouth

There is no magic formula for success on Fab . It’s all about timing and luck...

Answer these questions and you will have your answer...

Are you willing to drive 100 - 300 Kim’s for a meeting?

Are you willing to drop anything you’re doing immediately for a meeting?

Are you willing to go to clubs anywhere in the UK , when they are open?

Are you willing to chat for weeks, months, years months to someone before meeting them?

Are you willing to be friends with people that have no sexual attraction to you?

If you answer no to any of these questions, you will not have success on Fab just sending out messages.....

If you answered yes to all of these questions...

You will have success on Fab , because these are the things successful guys on Fab do.....

They just don’t admit it openly on the forums....

I would pretty much answer no to all those ...I appreciate it takes some effort but going to a social was the thing that really worked for me, and that I had some reasonably accessible clubs..

Honestly, if this guy can get laid, anyone can

Lol lol wait till I see you...

I do wonder myself ...

I think its care in the community

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

There is no magic formula for success on Fab . It’s all about timing and luck...

Answer these questions and you will have your answer...

Are you willing to drive 100 - 300 Kim’s for a meeting?

Are you willing to drop anything you’re doing immediately for a meeting?

Are you willing to go to clubs anywhere in the UK , when they are open?

Are you willing to chat for weeks, months, years months to someone before meeting them?

Are you willing to be friends with people that have no sexual attraction to you?

If you answer no to any of these questions, you will not have success on Fab just sending out messages.....

If you answered yes to all of these questions...

You will have success on Fab , because these are the things successful guys on Fab do.....

They just don’t admit it openly on the forums....

I would pretty much answer no to all those ...I appreciate it takes some effort but going to a social was the thing that really worked for me, and that I had some reasonably accessible clubs..

Honestly, if this guy can get laid, anyone can

Lol lol wait till I see you...

I do wonder myself ...

I think its care in the community

Charity!

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By *ustustwo.1965Couple over a year ago

"I noticed three things immediately that could potentially put people off.

1) Your solo profile pic is you with a woman

2) You can’t accommodate

3) You’re straight but meet verified by a man.

I know that could well be from a social but it’s the kind of thing that some people will pick up on.

Agree with this totally.

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By *ustustwo.1965Couple over a year ago

Maybe it is us, however we don't think your profile is any good.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There is no magic formula for success on Fab . It’s all about timing and luck...

Answer these questions and you will have your answer...

Are you willing to drive 100 - 300 Kim’s for a meeting?

Are you willing to drop anything you’re doing immediately for a meeting?

Are you willing to go to clubs anywhere in the UK , when they are open?

Are you willing to chat for weeks, months, years months to someone before meeting them?

Are you willing to be friends with people that have no sexual attraction to you?

If you answer no to any of these questions, you will not have success on Fab just sending out messages.....

If you answered yes to all of these questions...

You will have success on Fab , because these are the things successful guys on Fab do.....

They just don’t admit it openly on the forums....

I would pretty much answer no to all those ...I appreciate it takes some effort but going to a social was the thing that really worked for me, and that I had some reasonably accessible clubs..

Honestly, if this guy can get laid, anyone can

Hey , I’m actually good looking..... Surprise Surprise

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

There is no magic formula for success on Fab . It’s all about timing and luck...

Answer these questions and you will have your answer...

Are you willing to drive 100 - 300 Kim’s for a meeting?

Are you willing to drop anything you’re doing immediately for a meeting?

Are you willing to go to clubs anywhere in the UK , when they are open?

Are you willing to chat for weeks, months, years months to someone before meeting them?

Are you willing to be friends with people that have no sexual attraction to you?

If you answer no to any of these questions, you will not have success on Fab just sending out messages.....

If you answered yes to all of these questions...

You will have success on Fab , because these are the things successful guys on Fab do.....

They just don’t admit it openly on the forums....

I would pretty much answer no to all those ...I appreciate it takes some effort but going to a social was the thing that really worked for me, and that I had some reasonably accessible clubs..

Honestly, if this guy can get laid, anyone can

Hey , I’m actually good looking..... Surprise Surprise "

That's what they all say

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There is no magic formula for success on Fab . It’s all about timing and luck...

Answer these questions and you will have your answer...

Are you willing to drive 100 - 300 Kim’s for a meeting?

Are you willing to drop anything you’re doing immediately for a meeting?

Are you willing to go to clubs anywhere in the UK , when they are open?

Are you willing to chat for weeks, months, years months to someone before meeting them?

Are you willing to be friends with people that have no sexual attraction to you?

If you answer no to any of these questions, you will not have success on Fab just sending out messages.....

If you answered yes to all of these questions...

You will have success on Fab , because these are the things successful guys on Fab do.....

They just don’t admit it openly on the forums....

I would pretty much answer no to all those ...I appreciate it takes some effort but going to a social was the thing that really worked for me, and that I had some reasonably accessible clubs..

Honestly, if this guy can get laid, anyone can

Hey , I’m actually good looking..... Surprise Surprise

That's what they all say

You always make me laugh.....

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

There is no magic formula for success on Fab . It’s all about timing and luck...

Answer these questions and you will have your answer...

Are you willing to drive 100 - 300 Kim’s for a meeting?

Are you willing to drop anything you’re doing immediately for a meeting?

Are you willing to go to clubs anywhere in the UK , when they are open?

Are you willing to chat for weeks, months, years months to someone before meeting them?

Are you willing to be friends with people that have no sexual attraction to you?

If you answer no to any of these questions, you will not have success on Fab just sending out messages.....

If you answered yes to all of these questions...

You will have success on Fab , because these are the things successful guys on Fab do.....

They just don’t admit it openly on the forums....

I would pretty much answer no to all those ...I appreciate it takes some effort but going to a social was the thing that really worked for me, and that I had some reasonably accessible clubs..

Honestly, if this guy can get laid, anyone can

Hey , I’m actually good looking..... Surprise Surprise

That's what they all say

You always make me laugh....."

That's also what they all say

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By *stbury DavenportMan over a year ago

Nottingham

Formula for successful swinging:

1. No pandemic.

2. Go to clubs in person.

3. Don't be a knob while you're in the club.

4. Think of Fab as a social network for the people you meet in the clubs, not a dating app.

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"I noticed three things immediately that could potentially put people off.

1) Your solo profile pic is you with a woman

2) You can’t accommodate

3) You’re straight but meet verified by a man.

I know that could well be from a social but it’s the kind of thing that some people will pick up on.

See; I have two meet veris from guys, but they were purely networking veris from other straight guys. It’s annoying I can’t display them on my profile since Fab stopped us all displaying meet veris, but I will show them when that barrier is lifted, so others can see I CAN be social in clubs lol

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"Formula for successful swinging:

1. No pandemic.

This would be more true, although; the pandemic didn’t stop all swinging......

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Anyone with biting on their profile.. puts me off

Photo of another person.. has she consented? Again may put others off.

Just my opinion

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By *heonixRaven 777Woman over a year ago

Guildford

For me the OP profile reads as list of things you like, but it’s unclear in what capacity you clearly enjoy the bdsm side of things which is not necessarily something all swingers wish to engage in.

If you me if you messaged me I wouldn’t have a clue, on which side of the slash you sat . I would honestly just ignore you even though you perhaps share some of my tastes.

Where is the personality of you within your profile, you talk of the darker parts of bdsm those things I certainly wouldn’t engage in with someone on a whim, and certainly not when there is nothing about you as person.

I just reads like a tick box fantasist profile, it doesn’t show or tell me if you are prepared to put the effort in to build whatever trust is required to enable some of those types of experiences you wish to have.

And sorry to break it to you some of those things you have listed will scare people off. Although for others it will tick boxes, we are all different and like different things in a profile.

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By *uenevereWoman over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I think that, contrary to your belief, the vast majority of women do read profiles.

Whilst I like lists, it doesn't work as a profile. There's no personality in a list.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You shouldn’t feel the need to explain yourself but unfortunately people jump to conclusions.

It’s only annoying if “straight” people contact you looking to meet and tell you they won’t admit to being bisexual on their profile. And to add insult to injury inform you that if you do meet them they don’t want a veri from you. How could we resist?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The Fab ‘Holy Trinity’ for the skim readers who take that initial look over your profile is;

Under 45

6ft or over

Can accommodate.

If you can tick each of those boxes, then you may catch someone’s attention enough for them to then check out your pics, and actually read your profile.

Convenience is the next biggy, ie; if YOU are able to meet THEIR availability

Hope this helps

4. On-street parking.

Gotta park far enough away so they don't see me change into my heels, but close enough to actually get to the front door in them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just get yourself to the clubs when they open back up, you will meet loads of nice fun and friendly people there.

I messaged loads of couples and females on fab, they never even checked my nice messages, then seen the same couples and women at the clubs, got taking straight away, had a nice chat, laugh and some fun.

Women and couples get so many messages so 99.9% will not read your message never mind a reply.

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By *iner69erMan over a year ago

inverness

"Just get yourself to the clubs when they open back up, you will meet loads of nice fun and friendly people there.

Women and couples get so many messages so 99.9% will not read your message never mind a reply."
what if there's no clubs in your area? Nearest to me would be 100 miles away.

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By *ark ph0enixWoman over a year ago

Teesside

Purely on a personal note as a single female on here

I dislike profiles with action scenes on. I don't need to see you f*cking another lady. Really doesnt appeal. The odd one is ok but only if I can scroll past to more enticing images.

And while dick pics are all the rage on here, personally I'd be more attracted to a nice ass pic. Or a good set of shoulders. If you are going to put your face public then a dark slightly blurry photo is not going to help much. I dont want to squint to see you.

As for the profile text, type it as if you were talking to me. You wouldn't spout a list at me if we were face to face. Tell me something about you to catch my interest.

Profiles are usually a work in progress but I'd suggest looking at a few belonging to other chaps. Perhaps those with good veris to see what approach worked for them?

It's very much a numbers game and you need to do all you can to catch attention. Although your profile is not offensive it's not attention grabbing either. And feeling 'meh' about a profile wont get you a response when there are many other delicious ones out there.

Hope that helps OP and dont give up

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By *ickdasterdly51Man over a year ago

Lingfield

Maybe have realistic expectations. Two meets in two years when meets have been supposedly banned for over 50% of that time is a pretty good return. Mine has been a big fat zero over the past 18 months and I'm using the pandemic as my excuse!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just get yourself to the clubs when they open back up, you will meet loads of nice fun and friendly people there.

Women and couples get so many messages so 99.9% will not read your message never mind a reply.what if there's no clubs in your area? Nearest to me would be 100 miles away. "

Drive that 100 mile, clubs are definitely worth it. I drove Newcastle too Leeds to go to quest.

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By *luttyLaylaWoman over a year ago

North West

[Removed by poster at 27/04/21 14:05:27]

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By *luttyLaylaWoman over a year ago

North West

"I noticed three things immediately that could potentially put people off.

1) Your solo profile pic is you with a woman

2) You can’t accommodate

3) You’re straight but meet verified by a man.

I know that could well be from a social but it’s the kind of thing that some people will pick up on.

This... and the opening line is so negative. “I know people don’t read this”... well yeah, actually, we do

Agreed with the verifications comment!

Also I’m not a fan of pictures with other women on single men’s profiles. But that’s just purely personal- it’s as though they need to prove they have had sex and the gal half the time won’t even know the pics are online!. X"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

To me they smack of trophy pics. I just don’t like action shots on solo profiles and as you say are the others in the pictures even aware they are on a swingers site?

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