FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Here's some advice to some men..

Here's some advice to some men..

By *ydia_Lovegood OP Woman over a year ago

St. Ives

If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.

Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?

I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.

Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?

I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...

Be kind.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

your not on your own with this

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By *oncupiscence73Woman over a year ago

South

"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.

Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?

I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.

Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?

I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...

Be kind.

Need a round of applause emoji for this post.

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By *renzMan over a year ago

Between Chichester and Havant

Unfortunately many can't take rejection. I wouldn't take it too personally, I'm sure he has probably said the same to many others.

Isn't it ironic that there are many threads from men asking why they never get a reply! I think they should be guided to this thread.

It won't be long before you get all the replies saying 'I'm not like that or spoiling it for everyone else'! As pointed out, you only spoil it for yourselves by the way you treat others.

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By *oxy lady40Woman over a year ago

bridgwater

Happens every day , a lot of man can’t handle rejection so block and forget

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By *ucka39Man over a year ago

Newcastle

"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.

Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?

I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.

Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?

I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...

Be kind.

I never do if ever happens and truthful only happened once, because we can't always be compatible and it's doesn't give anyone any right, just because aren't, or even question it or act unreasonably

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

Happens more than people think it does. Hell, some opening messages start with abuse and name calling telling you what you're gonna do.

It does get you down. Well, it does me anyway. Do I care what 1 disgruntled person says? No, I don't. But, when it becomes a regular thing, it goes from being words on a screen to a sense that I don't wanna engage with new people. That people as a whole are more capable than I realised of turning nasty.

Coz this is, as much as we may want to admit it, a reflection of society. Saddening.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I reckon it's a reactionary thing, obviously,they cant take the rejection,but by being nasty they hope for a reaction,a response.

It's sad

It's pathetic

And fortunately it's not all guys.

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple over a year ago

Bexley

and this is why so many women and couples just block guys they're not interested in rather than trying to explain.

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By *irty PrettyWoman over a year ago

Cardiff

Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?

Some of them definitely would, or worse.

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By *irty PrettyWoman over a year ago

Cardiff

"Happens more than people think it does. Hell, some opening messages start with abuse and name calling telling you what you're gonna do.

Coz this is, as much as we may want to admit it, a reflection of society. Saddening."

I never reply to say I’m not interested, so I don’t get abuse for rejecting them (though I sometimes do for not replying). I just get abuse out of the blue because my profile is too long or something. So I totally get what you mean. And anyway, we shouldn’t have to grow a thicker skin because a stranger decided to go out of their way to abuse us, they just shouldn’t do it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wish I got a message from a woman... Even if its a no lol

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By *uvs2likMan over a year ago

wakefield

A simple no thanks us enough for me , can't understand why you'd abuse someone

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If a lady or couple sent me a polite no thank you I’d respond with a thanks for at least replying, it’s shocking the things I read on here regarding the disrespect people show and I wonder how many are actually like it when they aren’t hidden behind a keyboard !! You should report any name calling or disrespectful members, Fab will be better off without them all !!!

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

"Happens more than people think it does. Hell, some opening messages start with abuse and name calling telling you what you're gonna do.

Coz this is, as much as we may want to admit it, a reflection of society. Saddening.

Exactly. Mine is mainly for not reading or replying. I state it on my sodding profile I rarely read them ffs

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By *irty PrettyWoman over a year ago

Cardiff

"Happens more than people think it does. Hell, some opening messages start with abuse and name calling telling you what you're gonna do.

Coz this is, as much as we may want to admit it, a reflection of society. Saddening.

Exactly. Mine is mainly for not reading or replying. I state it on my sodding profile I rarely read them ffs

As if they’ve got the time to “read all that”!

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

"Happens more than people think it does. Hell, some opening messages start with abuse and name calling telling you what you're gonna do.

Coz this is, as much as we may want to admit it, a reflection of society. Saddening.

Exactly. Mine is mainly for not reading or replying. I state it on my sodding profile I rarely read them ffs

As if they’ve got the time to “read all that”!"

Cringe! That ole chestnut

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hope u told them where to go this is where it messes up this site some ppl can’t be bloody nice.

They spend most of the time slagging ppls off ffs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Abuse of any sort is not acceptable, don’t care who you are what you look like we’re all human & have feelings, I hate bullies & verbal abuse is a form of bullying in my book!!

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By *ydia_Lovegood OP Woman over a year ago

St. Ives

Thank you for all your lovely replies xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Btw! Your very sexy & don’t let anyone tell you otherwise

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By *heekyflickWoman over a year ago

LINCOLN

Will just say it's not just men...I've had some vile messages from women who I've sent thanks but no thanks to and the language was shocking in the replies...all human...need to just accept move on and find someone who does say yes...happy swinging

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Try moving away from the young "studs" to a more mature man who knows how to treat a lady. Nowadays the younger end just expect to get what they want.

I was going to message you to ask you to politely decline me so I could show you how a gentleman would act. But I am outside your age range.

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By *moothGrooveWoman over a year ago

Durham

I'm so glad it's not just me experiencing this, especially these past few weeks.

So far this week (baring in mind it's only Wednesday!) I've been told they're glad it is a no because I'm probably riddled, I'm a dirty cock tease, I shouldn't be on fab if I'm not putting out, my photos are all fake and I'm a fat middle aged man, they pity my husband......

On the plus side it validates why you turned them down!

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By *rincess peachWoman over a year ago

shits creek

"Try moving away from the young "studs" to a more mature man who knows how to treat a lady. Nowadays the younger end just expect to get what they want.

I was going to message you to ask you to politely decline me so I could show you how a gentleman would act. But I am outside your age range."

It isn't just the young uns.

I'm pretty sure a fair few of the supposedly mature folks log on to pick a fight when they're not quite sober.

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By *ad Bod AdonisMan over a year ago

Birmingham

"If a lady or couple sent me a polite no thank you I’d respond with a thanks for at least replying, it’s shocking the things I read on here regarding the disrespect people show and I wonder how many are actually like it when they aren’t hidden behind a keyboard !! You should report any name calling or disrespectful members, Fab will be better off without them all !!! "

I totally agree. If someone has taken the trouble to reply I always thank them for doing so even when it's a "no".

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’d rather a message be deleted so I know immediately there is no interest. I assume unread or read no reply is a no also so I accept all those scenarios and move on. Can’t understand those guys who persist with abusive messages. GROW UP! My advice would be block anyone you’re not interested in so they can’t message abusively.

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By *irty PrettyWoman over a year ago

Cardiff

"Try moving away from the young "studs" to a more mature man who knows how to treat a lady. Nowadays the younger end just expect to get what they want.

I was going to message you to ask you to politely decline me so I could show you how a gentleman would act. But I am outside your age range."

Some of the worst abuse I’ve had came from men over 50 before I blocked them all. The most vile one was 75. So it’s not just the youngsters.

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By *-man24Man over a year ago

northwest

"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.

Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?

I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.

Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?

I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...

Be kind.

No I wouldn’t do it either here or in real world and please I hate the f word your beautiful hence Bbw it’s not bfw them dicks Gives us a bad name

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By *dwalu2Couple over a year ago

Bristol

Sadly the people who need this advice don’t care - and the people who care don’t need it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I prefer a woman to say " no thanks " , I don't take it personally everyone has different tastes but I will reply back thanking them for the reply and wishing them a happy fabbing it's only the polite thing to do

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By *-man24Man over a year ago

northwest

I put that on my 1st message maybe that’s a defensive mechanism of me

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By *lla_eastWoman over a year ago

Manchester

I feel you. It’s boyish behaviour and really says so much more about them than you, it’s great you can rise above if and not retaliate (I rarely can). I no longer politely decline, just ignore, block the repeat dm’ers. It feels somewhat cold but better than opening yourself to the hassle or the “but I can change your mind”ers.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Over 500 blocked

When I politely decline i get told I'm stuck up.

Well I'm glad I got standards thats all I can say.

#love my ranty arsey profile..an ode to the delectables off here..lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Isn't it funny when older fellas say it's the young 'uns and then others say it's the over 50s!!

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By *itty Kat ABWoman over a year ago

North Somerset

Here, here.

Although getting the message across to the majority is nigh on impossible. I just see it as a filter now of those I clearly wouldn't want to chat, meet or do anything intimate with.

But you are right, we shouldn't have to receive unpleasant messages and no we don't have thick skins.

Block them and don't look back would be my advice x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I prefer a woman to say " no thanks " , I don't take it personally everyone has different tastes but I will reply back thanking them for the reply and wishing them a happy fabbing it's only the polite thing to do"

But how long would it take to reply to all the emails and then receive more back saying 'thanks' and blocking the inbox?!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Loved reading through this forum.So many omgs...

My fav line is 'have you any pics"

please read profile b4 sending messages.. then i hit the BLOCK button

Very Effective

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By *-man24Man over a year ago

northwest

Just arseholes if there like that in here what are they like out there bigger arseholes

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By *on a MangerMan over a year ago

somerset/Bristol

Cant understand why it needs to get to the abuse stage if they are not what you are looking for having read their message and looked at the profile just block them... saves a lot of time

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By *lymDrewMan over a year ago

plymouth

Whilst it's easy to say it's men being pathetic and take no notice, it's not nice to receive, the best thing to do in my view would be mark it as unread and leave it there, the fact they can see it unread will make it appear they have just wasted their time and effort with the message, deleting and blocking whilst getting rid of the offensive message, is an acknowledgement that it has been read and might have effected you.

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By *azpiz1Man over a year ago

Camberley

"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.

Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?

I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.

Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?

I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...

Be kind.

I've only ever responded with something like "ok, thanks for responding, I really appreciate it"

Why be abusive? This isn't instashag, it's a swingers site.

We aren't here to fuck everything at a moments notice, but to meet like minded people that understand and appreciate the lifestyle we have chosen.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think most of the abusers start all the “ Why won’t women respond to me “ threads....

I find it funny that in the year 2021 , people are shocked/angry someone doesn’t answer their messages online....

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By *avrick180Man over a year ago

Pontypool

"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.

Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?

I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.

Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?

I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...

Be kind.

I've only ever responded with something like "ok, thanks for responding, I really appreciate it"

Why be abusive? This isn't instashag, it's a swingers site.

We aren't here to fuck everything at a moments notice, but to meet like minded people that understand and appreciate the lifestyle we have chosen."
what about when a man sends a nice message to a woman but gets a load of abuse back work both ways I say only saying that's all

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.

Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?

I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.

Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?

I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...

Be kind.

I've only ever responded with something like "ok, thanks for responding, I really appreciate it"

Why be abusive? This isn't instashag, it's a swingers site.

We aren't here to fuck everything at a moments notice, but to meet like minded people that understand and appreciate the lifestyle we have chosen.what about when a man sends a nice message to a woman but gets a load of abuse back work both ways I say only saying that's all "

Yes it's also some women. But at a ratio of 1 to 500 if not more. I know the ladies by far worse than us men. They also receive far more messages. Sometimes they don't have the time or inclination to read them all. A no should be graciously accepted, whatever the reason.

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By *ueenieHWoman over a year ago

leeds

I know this all too well over past year ,they get really abusive because I wouldn't break lockdown guidance. All you can do is report them and block them

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By *ooo wet tight hornyWoman over a year ago

lancashire

"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.

Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?

I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.

Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?

I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...

Be kind.

Well said...Good for you!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.

Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?

I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.

Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?

I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...

Be kind.

Sorry you had to experience that some people are just c***S nothing but and I hope this stops for you. Try not take it personal and just think they messaged you before you rejected them that says it all

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've actually stopped replying if they're not my type... If I say I'm not meeting I'll be plaqued as to why etc... So I've learned the best option is just not to reply...

As you said OP if the name calling happened in a pub...

Some 1st msgs I receive are extremely sexually graphically explicit in extreme essay type detail...imagine a guy approaching you in a pub with his Dick out saying such...it's actually grounds for an arrest

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By *arl17Man over a year ago

Central Portugal

There are idiots / nutters everywhere in this internet who will respond in different ways. Sadly, this site opens you up to some people you would not meet in everyday pubs and clubs (when they are open) but are keyboard warriors on the Net. Best ignore imho but if it makes you uncomfortable report to the site and the police. If your not happy to do that you can take a break or delete your profile. Sadly, like a lot of things these days the idiots can win and the good guys can suffer through no fault of their own. Just my opinion and be lucky and happy

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By *arma guyMan over a year ago

here and there

That's disgusting, boys calling themselves men ffs

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By *litterbabeWoman over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

"I've actually stopped replying if they're not my type... If I say I'm not meeting I'll be plaqued as to why etc... So I've learned the best option is just not to reply...

As you said OP if the name calling happened in a pub...

I totally agree.

I have had some very strange messages, one I've had very recently (first message) literally all it was was a rant about how some women ( not be) use the site.

That of course is very tame compared to some styles, but a strange approach for a first message

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"and this is why so many women and couples just block guys they're not interested in rather than trying to explain."

When I was part of a couple we had single males blocked for this reason. They can be so rude . Absolutely disgusting tbh. That's not the case with a select few single males on here. I'm back single and know how hard it is on here for single guys. However there's no excuse for been rude. I have a fair few single female friends and lots of couples on here. We are all frustrated with the dreamers and wannabies. I would hate to be a single lady on FAB. I feel for you trawling through all those messages for the elusive needle in a haystack. If I get a rejection I simply say thank you for your polite reply. Than I put a note next to their profile saying I'm not for them. Next time I see the profile I read my notes and leave them alone.

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By *arte_Blanche_NECouple over a year ago

Northern

"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.

Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?

I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.

Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?

I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...

Be kind.

The ones that insist they are our type really get to us, we’ve stopped replying if we aren’t interested and just block to stop the arguments and insults x

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

"Isn't it funny when older fellas say it's the young 'uns and then others say it's the over 50s!! "

Never had an abusive message from a young guy. Had plenty from guys over 50, 55 ish.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its worrying that this many males are that abusive,like an above post mentioned,most on here can't take rejection.

I know it doesn't make a girl feel good at all,but at the end of the day,you're not the issue,they are.

They want you,you reject them,then they call you names about your body etc...yet you were adequate enough before you rejected them....teenage mindset.

Not real men.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The OP’s post is spot on, there should be no place for any kind of abuse on here.

Unfortunately there are nasty entitled people out there who think they can and do behave like this and think they are Gods gift.

That 1 nasty message can really hurt some one, especially on a site like this.

If someone deletes a message you sent then move on, it’s not personal

If you get a thanks but no thanks then send a thanks for the reply, there really is no need for abuse

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I honestly don’t understanding who give abuse after being rejected, god knows how many times I’ve dropped someone a message and been ignored and yes it’s not nice but there’s a million variants as to why. The women and couples I have clicked with we’ve had loads of fun and as frustrating as it is I see it as their loss x just keep being you xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Been on the receiving end of some pretty vile messages on and off over the years. That's why I don't send out polite no thank yous anymore. Its a straight delete message and block. I can appreciate it may not make the guy feel good but self preservation is more important to me.

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By *irty PrettyWoman over a year ago

Cardiff

"There are idiots / nutters everywhere in this internet who will respond in different ways. Sadly, this site opens you up to some people you would not meet in everyday pubs and clubs (when they are open) but are keyboard warriors on the Net. Best ignore imho but if it makes you uncomfortable report to the site and the police. If your not happy to do that you can take a break or delete your profile. Sadly, like a lot of things these days the idiots can win and the good guys can suffer through no fault of their own. Just my opinion and be lucky and happy

I don’t think “if you don’t like it delete your profile” is helpful.

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By *ablo minibar123Woman over a year ago

"Try moving away from the young "studs" to a more mature man who knows how to treat a lady. Nowadays the younger end just expect to get what they want.

I was going to message you to ask you to politely decline me so I could show you how a gentleman would act. But I am outside your age range."

I get more abuse from the apparently mature over 40 yr olds than I do younger guys

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By *ocknockerMan over a year ago

Sheffield

Come on guys get a grip of yourselves ( maybe you’re doing that too much during lockdown lol )

But if the lady politely declines your offer take it on the chin thank them for taking the time to reply ( after all it would be easier to just ignore you ) and move on we can’t all be everyone’s cup of tea

STOP ACTING LIKE SPOILT CHILDREN

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.

Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?

I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.

Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?

I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...

Be kind.

What an absolute thunder c..t for resorting to name calling just because you said thanks but no thanks.

I'm hoping that it doesn't knock your confidence and that you understand that he has the issues and not you.

Fingers crossed that you find a good guy who makes you smile

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By *ueenieHWoman over a year ago

leeds

"Its worrying that this many males are that abusive,like an above post mentioned,most on here can't take rejection.

I know it doesn't make a girl feel good at all,but at the end of the day,you're not the issue,they are.

They want you,you reject them,then they call you names about your body etc...yet you were adequate enough before you rejected them....teenage mindset.

Not real men.

It definitely is worrying this is why I won't meet anyone unless it's in a swingers club where I feel safe because of all the abusive messages I've recieved

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By *ad Bod AdonisMan over a year ago

Birmingham

"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.

Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?

I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.

Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?

I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...

Be kind.

Well said Lydia,

Like most men I rarely get a reply, but when I do and it's a "no" - as it always has been so far- I always thank the lady for replying. There's never any need for abuse.

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By *sm265Woman over a year ago

Shangri-la

I hear you OP. Happens all too regularly on here unfortunately. Sadly some people can't take a polite rejection gracefully. It really is tiresome.

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By *antingmore72Woman over a year ago

Hastings

Have to admit I've been close to quitting the site recently for the same reason! So much abuse and usually from older guys! I've even made most of my photos private again, I may be a big girl but that doesn't entitle someone to abuse me the way some 'men' (and I use the term loosely) do on here!

One guy called me a fat whore. He didn't like it when I fought back either!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Try moving away from the young "studs" to a more mature man who knows how to treat a lady. Nowadays the younger end just expect to get what they want.

I was going to message you to ask you to politely decline me so I could show you how a gentleman would act. But I am outside your age range.

I get more abuse from the apparently mature over 40 yr olds than I do younger guys"

Same... The "young studs" have been extremely well behaved compared to the men closer to my own age, via messages and conversation

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its just all about 'some/most' *delete as applicable* mens sense of entitlement.

Their thought process is on seeing a woman on FAB is

1. clearly she wants fucking, today would be good.

2. Im obviously the best fuck on here, ill do her the honour of my magnificent pole and my quicker than flick of a snake tongue.

3. She's knocked me back? ... does not compute ... obvs a cock teaser/slag/fatty/minger *delete as appropriate*

4. Hurl abuse, rinse and repeat for the next one.

Fortunately not all are like that but Covid has certainly drawn the worms out of the woodwork.

My partner in crime happens to be a paraplegic guy and Ive had the 'cripple shagging minger' chucked at me recently for giving a thanks but no thanks. The thing is they are begging to get what I give to him freely and that really does not compute ... something hot about tyre marks on the thighs

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

"Its just all about 'some/most' *delete as applicable* mens sense of entitlement.

Their thought process is on seeing a woman on FAB is

1. clearly she wants fucking, today would be good.

2. Im obviously the best fuck on here, ill do her the honour of my magnificent pole and my quicker than flick of a snake tongue.

3. She's knocked me back? ... does not compute ... obvs a cock teaser/slag/fatty/minger *delete as appropriate*

4. Hurl abuse, rinse and repeat for the next one.

Fortunately not all are like that but Covid has certainly drawn the worms out of the woodwork.

Mr KC has had similar abuse from guys about my status as a wheelchair user too. Eejits

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its just all about 'some/most' *delete as applicable* mens sense of entitlement.

Their thought process is on seeing a woman on FAB is

1. clearly she wants fucking, today would be good.

2. Im obviously the best fuck on here, ill do her the honour of my magnificent pole and my quicker than flick of a snake tongue.

3. She's knocked me back? ... does not compute ... obvs a cock teaser/slag/fatty/minger *delete as appropriate*

4. Hurl abuse, rinse and repeat for the next one.

Fortunately not all are like that but Covid has certainly drawn the worms out of the woodwork.

Mr KC has had similar abuse from guys about my status as a wheelchair user too. Eejits

narrowminded Eejits! I might be a tad biased but I love what can be done with hands, lips, fingers and lots of intimacy ... dont need the meat and two veg, well unless we are playing and we fancy having an optional extra

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By *ornUnderStoneMan over a year ago

Dorchester

"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.

Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?

I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.

Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?

I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...

Be kind.

I know that some people are that horrible, but I can't understand how and why x

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By *he Knight is YoungMan over a year ago

22 Acacia Ave, Preston-for now

Caveman syndrome

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By *ydia_Lovegood OP Woman over a year ago

St. Ives

Seems things are going from bad to worse.... I occasionally hide my profile for some much needed time out!!

After a polite reply on my part, to decline a request to do various things to various parts of my body I received an abusive reply... You're a granny, old hag.. Before I could respond to the charming fella I was blocked... Bullet dodged I feel...my favourite response recently, to a polite no thank you was, "did you think I meant to message you!"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I get loads of knock backs but I always reply back nicely I can’t see the point of being rude and abusive just because someone’s not interested in you , just shows some guys have no class or respect for women

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some people are dicks- more so on here, bet they aren’t that brave in real life

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By *jonesMan over a year ago

Plymouth

Sorry to hear..its just outrageous.I wish that fab would do more to police this ...I really dont know why they dont.

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By *uy4swingingMan over a year ago

Gloucestershire

This social media site is open to abuse from those who believe they can get away with it. You can report abuse from any email received. Unfortunately it’s a small word with a triangle below the reply button. This should be made clearer with its own box by administration.

Where sending an email there administrator should make a clear statement regarding rudeness-abuse that can be reported

It’s wise to ignore rudeness and abuse and if it’s persistent or indeed threatening block them and report them.

This a fun site let’s keep it that way. .

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By *andare63Man over a year ago

oldham

"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.

Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?

I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.

Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?

I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...

Be kind.

Goes without saying for me. Its all to do with your upbringing and instilled values

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By *reatformeatWoman over a year ago

my own bubble

I just don’t get these threads . All my time in here iv had abuse just twice . I’m sure some woman dish out some abuse to and are probably quite ignorant toward single guys . I’m not saying people deserve it but let’s be fair and give single guys a break there is always a bigger picture and these threads tend to tar them all with the same brush.

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By *ydia_Lovegood OP Woman over a year ago

St. Ives

"I just don’t get these threads . All my time in here iv had abuse just twice . I’m sure some woman dish out some abuse to and are probably quite ignorant toward single guys . I’m not saying people deserve it but let’s be fair and give single guys a break there is always a bigger picture and these threads tend to tar them all with the same brush."

Yes, I'm sure there are some women who are abusive and I'm certainly not tarring all men. That would be ridiculous.

My point in posting this, and of course it's from my pov, was just to say politeness costs nothing. I've never, ever been rude to anyone and I don't see why I shouldn't expect that in return.

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By *reatformeatWoman over a year ago

my own bubble

Yes, I'm sure there are some women who are abusive and I'm certainly not tarring all men. That would be ridiculous.

My point in posting this, and of course it's from my pov, was just to say politeness costs nothing. I've never, ever been rude to anyone and I don't see why I shouldn't expect that in return. "

Everyone should be polite then the world would be a better place I do know where your coming from as like I said I have experienced it myself however I do find it very rare . I do feel for the nice guys on here through because there is plenty of them as well and I don’t feel these threads help their cause . I don’t think abusive messages are as common as some people make out and in reality it’s not really a massive problem. It probably comes from both sexes in equal measures .

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By *issChief 200Woman over a year ago

South West

I get the same. I send a polite reply to say sorry its a no from me but Happy Fabbing, most people are fine & polite back but then some just call you cruel nasty names. Totally not acceptable

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By *ebjonnsonMan over a year ago

Maldon

I have met a handful of women in my five years on Fab. The stories they tell of abusive messages is truly shocking and makes me despair of my fellow man. No wonder so many women leave or hide their profile. I also met many lovely women when dating on POF, they told similar stories, I guess it’s that dangerous mix of a keyboard and anonymity. I don’t pretend to know the answer and of course it’s all social media, hence the boycott going on just now. A thick skin is needed .

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By *he Knight is YoungMan over a year ago

22 Acacia Ave, Preston-for now

As my Nan used to say...

"It costs nothing to be nice".

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By *ilfMan over a year ago

GLOUCESTER

Just had a load of abuse to our couples profile, and my girlfriend got a bizarre rant about how it's cheating to swing and be in a relationship with me... a lot of men need a lot therapy.

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By *ilfMan over a year ago

GLOUCESTER

[Removed by poster at 28/04/21 10:38:36]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There is nothing more fragile than a bruised ego...

I don't understand how anyone can't just accept a rejection with good grace and move on.

There again, I don't message for meets, I play the long game and hope that morbid curiosity drives women to suggest getting together at some point

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By *aby girl32Woman over a year ago

Leigh lancs

"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.

Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?

I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.

Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?

I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...

Be kind.

And then after the abusive message you get blocked before I can reply.

Cant tell you how many times I've been called a fat desperate slag because of a message I deleted.

Yeah I dont hide my face or my body so you see what you see before they message me. If I was desperate I would shag anything. Im very picky thats my choice.

They don't know how to handle rejection.

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By *ostonJoeMan over a year ago

Boston

I wonder what happened in their life that led them to believe they are so deserved of special consideration and if such a response is appropriate if they feel under appreciated? I hope they would not behave that way in normal circumstances, but it might be a symptom of why they are here looking for their imaginary sexual soul mate in the first place.

Someone posted above how she has had some foul responses from the ladies of the fab world too, which I have also seen too many times. In the past I have seen vicious rivalries erupt between fab ladies, but that's another story. Nothing in the scale of male bruised egos, however.

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By *lym4realCouple over a year ago

plymouth

The question we ask ourselves is do they actually talk or have that attitude in their real life regarding females ?? and we all have "Bad" days and say and do things we really shouldn't ?? and can't beat a good "Vent" but on here mostly you are talking to or messaging what are basically total strangers ?? and mostly it is down to perceptions of what the "Swinging" life style is about ?? and they are mostly wrong ? as a polite approach to most people on here is welcome and taking time to read the profile would go along way to crossed wires ??

BUT abuse is wrong in any setting and seems most think because for whatever reason they are "Entitled" to a response and if it is a negative one ?? and they most look like Robert De Niro in the famous Taxi Driver scene or they might think they do and mr4 has raised this before but it's the "Toxic Masculinity " that does lead to this all and rather depressing to say the least ...

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By *ebjonnsonMan over a year ago

Maldon

Sadly though, some men are just cunts!

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By *onlywishiMan over a year ago

Newcastle

From a guy that’s seen it from a couple side but now single it always amazes me as to why some guys truly believe that by just messaging anyone on site that they will drop everything they are doing and run to them for some sex ?

I don’t know if they understand that as a single guy you don’t really have a lot to offer as there are so many on site ? Most who have spent time on here can spot that type of guy a mile off and will decline with respect

Getting one of those messages is a let down but also a boost because that means that there are nice people on site who do let you know that your not for them

Yes it gets you down when your message is just deleted but I do understand that most ladies and couples here will get massive amounts of mail

So guys treat everyone with respect and don’t give us all a bad name

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By *heEvilWithinWoman over a year ago

Barnsley

Do you know what's worse than people not being able to handle rejection and then sending you abuse?

People trying to pick women up on a thread that's complaining how men act. If that doesn't tell you why you don't get a reply then.. I'm not sure what would?

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By *ornyharry39Man over a year ago

Sheffield

Respect and manners go a long way x

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By *acavityMan over a year ago

Redditch

Simple solution for the ladies.

Block all single males from contacting you (with filters)

Then when you see someone who might be suitable, send them a message. Once you have done that, they can reply, as they're no longer blocked.

If he turns out to be a git, you can still block him.

This will stop you getting hundreds of emails, and will encourage males to work on their profile, to encourage women to contact them.

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By *ydia_Lovegood OP Woman over a year ago

St. Ives

"Simple solution for the ladies.

Block all single males from contacting you (with filters)

Then when you see someone who might be suitable, send them a message. Once you have done that, they can reply, as they're no longer blocked.

If he turns out to be a git, you can still block him.

This will stop you getting hundreds of emails, and will encourage males to work on their profile, to encourage women to contact them."

I appreciate your pov but why should I have to change my behaviour? This is like the idea that women should have a curfew at night to prevent men assaulting them...

Simple solution is for the men is to be gracious and polite if rejected.

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By *ebjonnsonMan over a year ago

Maldon

"Simple solution for the ladies.

Block all single males from contacting you (with filters)

Then when you see someone who might be suitable, send them a message. Once you have done that, they can reply, as they're no longer blocked.

If he turns out to be a git, you can still block him.

This will stop you getting hundreds of emails, and will encourage males to work on their profile, to encourage women to contact them.

I appreciate your pov but why should I have to change my behaviour? This is like the idea that women should have a curfew at night to prevent men assaulting them...

Simple solution is for the men is to be gracious and polite if rejected. "

Sadly we all have to modify our behaviour. I wouldn’t hang around a bar if it was getting out of hand, I would take a swerve if I saw a group of pissed guys walking towards me. It’s an imperfect world I’m afraid. I do accept that guys are the common theme here.

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By *igh wide and handsomeMan over a year ago

Dagenham

It definitely says more about them than you!! I take my endless rejection with grace and humility.

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By *nfin8yWoman over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

Abuse is wrong.

Individual’s expectations re getting responses to messages etc do not equal entitlement.

We all have to make choices as individuals as to how we protect ourselves from others trying to ride

Roughshod over us. That may mean asking for support sometimes (admin/other) or taking time out (I have hidden my profile a couple of times for a short time). We shouldn’t have to but maybe we need to sometimes.

We don’t live in an ideal world and Fab is not ideal in many respects (no more and no less than other sites I have used before). The last few years have been a huge learning curve for me but I have learned (and am still learning) to better look after myself often with the support of others. I have valued that above all else

And since I’ve started taking part in these forums I’ve sensed that are good people

here and that is why these threads are important.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What i don't get is this... obviously you were none of those things before they messaged you so what changed in the time it took for you to reply?

Its not going to get the person who messaged a mind change of oh well might as well seems as they so polite in the abuse

Just take the rejection and move on

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By *nique_GymMan over a year ago

Cardiff

It’s known as hypersensitivity to rejection.

Men who have witnessed violence or have been victims of violence are more likely to see violence as an acceptable means to an end. In their eyes, life is a battleground that supports only two types of warriors: winners and losers. Being branded a “loser” can be a blow to the sense-of-self that individuals with fragile egos – or hypersensitivity to rejection – simply cannot withstand without one of two responses: shame or out-of-proportion retaliation.

Which begs the question ‘why put yourself on a site where the vast majority of times ‘you most likely will be rejected’! Lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And I genuinely apologise to you all for how some of us guys act on here it is disgusting and should not happen I just hope they get justice and I say name and shame the ones that do it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It’s known as hypersensitivity to rejection.

Which begs the question ‘why put yourself on a site where the vast majority of times ‘you most likely will be rejected’! Lol "

Because they don't expect rejection... Women who like sex, enough to be on here, will fuck everyone that offers, is a common thought among alot if people, not just many men

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By *loria JamesTV/TS over a year ago

Durham

Its not just woman who get this. I can go from being totally gorgeous to a cock in a frock with two words...no thank you.

Some guys would be better off if they read a profile then would know they were not a match. Unfortunately they just look at the pics then throw a tantrum because you don't want a quickie.

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By *ny1localMan over a year ago

READING

Sadly rejection can bring out the worst in someone, I've politely rejected 2 ladies here,.the abuse I've received would make a fella blush.

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By *orth_hantscplCouple over a year ago

camberley

My wife hardly comes on here now, most guys don’t seem to be able to read our profile properly. It really does take the fun out of being on here tbh.

I now do most of the looking on here to try and find what we’re after, if guys clearly haven’t read our profile I tend to just block as you know you’ll be getting another message, wink or whatever a week or so later.

We do actually have fun on here though, when we can obviously!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am a genuine kind and caring guy, I never give abuse when I get rejected, but now I don't really message strangers, because is there anypoint?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

everyone rejects me im to nice to give abuse I just say ok thanks for letting me know what else can you say

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By *eroLondonMan over a year ago

Mayfair

"If a woman sends you a message politely declining whatever it is you may be suggesting, ask yourself if abusing her is a gentlemanly thing to do.

Would you call a woman names to her face if she's says no thank you to you in a pub or a club?

I've been on and off this site for a few years now and I've never had so much abuse as I have these last few months. Please don't tell individual stories here. The thread will be stopped otherwise.

Some of us don't have thick skins and to be honest I'm tired of it. What's the point of a profile when it's ignored?

I may be a 'fatty' but I'm kind and would never be spiteful to anyone...

Be kind.

Quite simply...ABSOLUTELY.

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By *aseMan over a year ago

Gourock

It would be nice if they replied! A simple not interested..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It would be nice if they replied! A simple not interested.."

Women can get hundreds of messages every day. It's impossible to reply to them all as more come in.

Many men are really nasty abusive when someone says "no". It's easier to not reply.

Be pissed off at the men that abuse women and bombard them with messages.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

https://metro.co.uk/2021/04/28/women-shouldnt-have-to-be-polite-when-rejecting-men-to-feel-safe-14415910/

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It would be nice if they replied! A simple not interested.."

But they don’t have to if they don’t want to. If you’re easily offended by not receiving replies to your unsolicited messages, then a site that actively promotes ‘no reply means no’ is probably not the right place for you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Swingers clubs are open soon, so everyone should just go there.

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By *oxy lady40Woman over a year ago

bridgwater

"It would be nice if they replied! A simple not interested.."
if you got hundred plus messages a day would you reply to every single one

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think one of the significant issues is that some men come on here looking for a quick, easy fuck. Those men often target women that they think will be grateful of the attention and so be likely to say yes. Often they’re not women that they necessarily find attractive or would ideally choose to play with, so when they get rejected they can’t believe it and they take it really badly. It’s awful. I’ve had it loads of times, and you see it repeatedly in threads on here from these entitled men who can’t believe that a larger or older or (to them) unattractive woman has had the nerve to reject them. I don’t understand why they’re approaching them in the first place, it makes no sense to me, but it really causes this horrible cycle.

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple over a year ago

Bexley

"I think one of the significant issues is that some men come on here looking for a quick, easy fuck. Those men often target women that they think will be grateful of the attention and so be likely to say yes. Often they’re not women that they necessarily find attractive or would ideally choose to play with, so when they get rejected they can’t believe it and they take it really badly. It’s awful. I’ve had it loads of times, and you see it repeatedly in threads on here from these entitled men who can’t believe that a larger or older or (to them) unattractive woman has had the nerve to reject them. I don’t understand why they’re approaching them in the first place, it makes no sense to me, but it really causes this horrible cycle. "

It's called desperation and when they're rejected they resort to abuse. No of course not all guys here behave that way but enough do enough of the time to make many females/couples uncomfortable enough to just ignore their messages and/or block them all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There just keyboard warriors. Big balls behind a screen but pussys in reality and wouldn’t know what to do in reality. You look great x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think I’m situations where you’re so desperate you’ll approach someone you don’t even want and the berate them when they reject you, you should just go pay someone to provide you with the service. These men just want a free prostitute, they have so little respect for the women they’re approaching that they must be terrible in bed too. Yet they still think they’re a catch.

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By *ydia_Lovegood OP Woman over a year ago

St. Ives

Absobloodylutely...

Interestingly I've just received a nice one, I'm a nasty old age pensioner and should be in a home..

Seems all the abuse I receive is to do with my age... As you've said they obvs think I should be grateful... They will learn the hard way...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My list of blocks never been so big

And only come back on the site 4 months ago

Deleted my account last year because of nasty people as I would not meet men and I try not look on line after 12 pm as my god if I say not for me god help if I got the time will text back not for me some are nice about it some not lol end of the day we all looking for fun but we got to have that connection with right people

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Absobloodylutely...

Interestingly I've just received a nice one, I'm a nasty old age pensioner and should be in a home..

Seems all the abuse I receive is to do with my age... As you've said they obvs think I should be grateful... They will learn the hard way...

For the record I think you’re gorgeous, and I know plenty of guys who would think so too. You’re just their type. There are men that find me really attractive, there are some that don’t. But I dare say I get more attention from those who think I’m desperate and will be grateful to them for showing me attention. These men are the downfall of Fab.

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By *ydia_Lovegood OP Woman over a year ago

St. Ives

Absobloodylutely...

Interestingly I've just received a nice one, I'm a nasty old age pensioner and should be in a home..

Seems all the abuse I receive is to do with my age... As you've said they obvs think I should be grateful... They will learn the hard way...

Thank you xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sorry to hear that Lydgia xx

Most of us can take rejection.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's not just in pms, I was in a chatroom last night and ppl were arguing, calling one of my friends on here the C word and telling her to self harm!!!

Unfortunately that's social media in general these days

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By *heepdogg999Man over a year ago

Castleford

To many people hiding behind unknown profiles on all platforms getting off on abuse. It's a state of the world.

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By *acavityMan over a year ago

Redditch

"Simple solution for the ladies.

Block all single males from contacting you (with filters)

Then when you see someone who might be suitable, send them a message. Once you have done that, they can reply, as they're no longer blocked.

If he turns out to be a git, you can still block him.

This will stop you getting hundreds of emails, and will encourage males to work on their profile, to encourage women to contact them.

I appreciate your pov but why should I have to change my behaviour? This is like the idea that women should have a curfew at night to prevent men assaulting them...

Simple solution is for the men is to be gracious and polite if rejected. "

I agree that men (and everyone else) should be gracious and polite when rejected.

Though the analogy is more that men would have a curfew, unless given permission by a woman to leave the house, instead of the current situation where men hang around cat-calling any woman who walks by.

As to why you should change your behaviour from passively waiting for men to approach you, rather than actively seeking what you want?

The current behaviour is causing you to be irritated by a large enough group of men that you created a forum post.

So either put up with abusive messages when you reject some men, until all men learn to be polite, or change your behaviour.

You could be in charge of the quality of your correspondence, instead of being deluged by quantity

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *adMerWoman over a year ago

Sandwich

"Simple solution for the ladies.

Block all single males from contacting you (with filters)

Then when you see someone who might be suitable, send them a message. Once you have done that, they can reply, as they're no longer blocked.

If he turns out to be a git, you can still block him.

This will stop you getting hundreds of emails, and will encourage males to work on their profile, to encourage women to contact them.

I appreciate your pov but why should I have to change my behaviour? This is like the idea that women should have a curfew at night to prevent men assaulting them...

Simple solution is for the men is to be gracious and polite if rejected.

I agree that men (and everyone else) should be gracious and polite when rejected.

As to why you should change your behaviour from passively waiting for men to approach you, rather than actively seeking what you want?

The current behaviour is causing you to be irritated by a large enough group of men that you created a forum post.

So either put up with abusive messages when you reject some men, until all men learn to be polite, or change your behaviour.

You could be in charge of the quality of your correspondence, instead of being deluged by quantity"

I totally agree. I was inundated with messages when I first came on here. They were mostly of the FAF variety. It used to take ages to delete them and block. Then someone at a club mentioned using the filters. Wow, it’s totally changed my whole FAB experience.

I don’t even have to message a profile, just wink if I am interested and that circumvents the filters.

I sometimes turn them off when I am bored. I soon remember that I have them on for a reason, not least because of the abusive messages.

I have a call blocker on my home phone so I don’t get lots of marketing calls. It’s the same thing.

When they open I really suggest getting to a club. Guys that act entitled get asked to leave.

Good luck OP