FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Telling your partner
Telling your partner
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Tell them ASAP.
The lady I've been married to for 23 years told me before we got together that she wanted to explore threesomes and having male lovers.
As we both continue to date others it's the first thing in our dating profiles. |
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By *bra30Couple
over a year ago
Near by |
Depends what you’re after. If you think she’s long term material I would hold off and enjoy time with just you and her. Casually say something in the heat of the moment and judge her reaction when you want to take it to the next level. If she reacts bad just pretend you had no idea where it come from |
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"Hi guys what is the best way to open up 2 partner about this side off ur sex life"
You mean your partner doesn't know you're on here? Not a good way of doing things!
But maybe she's already on here herself. Food for thought. |
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By *shantyWoman
over a year ago
Folkestone |
"Be honest as the longer you leave it the more hurt it will cause when it's found out especially if it's something they are not comfortable with but you won't know till you open up about it"
Be honest with them and yourself. Having been on the receiving end of finding out my other half was on here but them still denying it has caused a lot of stress and heart ache, especially having said I’m open to it and they still can’t admit to it. Whether that’s through denial or just being an arse I doubt I’ll ever know but the lies still hurt non the less |
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If you plan to continue with meets/swinging then probably the best time to have had the conversation was right at the start, before you were even in the relationship, so that she could make an informed decision as to whether she was interested in this lifestyle. It's a big thing to have kept secret.
K |
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When I told mine she thought swinging was cheating, when she tried it with me first she told me she felt it was cheating, I do not think so. I created our profile because she said she wanted be fucked by another guy, when this happened before covid she told me she thought she had cheated on me, even though it was in our home with my consent and I watched, I found this strange that she would think what she did was cheating |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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With O it was her that raised it after we had discussed past sexual activities...she asked if I enjoyed and I said yes..she was curious about clubs etc..so took her to a club and she really enjoyed it...only social on the first visit but has played since and is continually exploring her desires..all be it all on hold during lockdown. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been truthful and its destroyed my relationship "
I know what you mean m8. If she's not into the same lifestyle as you there's no way that she will get involved. If it was me i would just leave her if she didn't give you permission.  |
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"I was already on here b4 meeting her
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so it depends where you are in that relationship if you feel you are now "partners" and are discussing boundaries then that's the time to discuss the possibility of opening up your relationship or closing it down |
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"When I told mine she thought swinging was cheating, when she tried it with me first she told me she felt it was cheating, I do not think so. I created our profile because she said she wanted be fucked by another guy, when this happened before covid she told me she thought she had cheated on me, even though it was in our home with my consent and I watched, I found this strange that she would think what she did was cheating"
Maybe you should have talked more to her about why she felt it was cheating. We all have different mindsets about things. |
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"I have been truthful and its destroyed my relationship "
That's a shame, it's such a difficult situation. Very easy for folk to say be truthful etc. But in reality without knowing the ins and outs of the specific relationship it's impossible to tell what will happen. I'm not suggesting being honest isn't the right thing, I'm just suggesting it's difficult and in doing so you must be prepared for the worst. Best time to discuss this topic is at the start. Im in a similar situation my wife is not keen on this lifestyle and in general is not very adventurous at all. It causes great frustration and I know i should be having the conversion with her but deep down i know it will end our relationship and with kids in the mix im not ready for that yet. |
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We had this discussion at work on Saturday (when we get bored we talk about sex) and one guy asked if I would give this lifestyle up if I got in a relationship and I said it would depend as you never know if your new partner will be into it you need to have that conversation |
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Have a sexy night ,wine dine naughty film .start talking about your fantasy’s and ask her if she has any , just plant the seed ,I told my wife I like it when she wears revealing clothes , she started to and she got complemented,guys would flirt with her ,which was a real boost for her confidence,.The seed started to grow .we started of slowly and grew into it , she also discovered her bi side ,and as well as playing with couples I also got to enjoy the hotwife senario,we don’t play often but that makes for more excitement when we do
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Early! The earlier the better, also if you’ve been in the lifestyle and and exited to start a relationship it’s best to say to your new partner early about your past in my view. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tell her everything, be honest with her , she might be interested and even better you both get to share everything together in this lifestyle .. that by far is the best thing , doing things together |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How long were you together?
I think if I really liked someone & it was early years, i'd be put off knowing they were on here.
Whatever happened to old fashioned "don't ask don't tell' |
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By *ev257Man
over a year ago
cardiff |
If it was me I would go down the line of the old "a friend of mine" rout.
Just say a friend of yours or someone from work is on this site with there wife & post pictures & do live cam shows & see what the reaction is then go from there & maybe even put it to her about opening a new fresh couples account on here.
If she isn't up for it then say no more & just carry on in secret. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If it was me I would go down the line of the old "a friend of mine" rout.
Just say a friend of yours or someone from work is on this site with there wife & post pictures & do live cam shows & see what the reaction is then go from there & maybe even put it to her about opening a new fresh couples account on here.
If she isn't up for it then say no more & just carry on in secret."
worst advice ever, honesty is key in a relationship, and as an aside, why is your avitar of a woman? |
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